From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2bJwMeSxr
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltALGgK8TS
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPNieDhE5S
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVDWSskHWP
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37lDFDtgQL
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKIOtst71G
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWgAnjjfW6
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOOO3o5kJH
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6s19B5eHgw
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8rKpCvrmP
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4j8YPAFSCO
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnlVYhlpVV
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPv4yBUR02
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcv3O4Si9tk
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jjGHBFfN8
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwbtMD9Xn7
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGHMSdX6sK
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSAKUrP2mF
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5uoLfswgr
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINNs8gnyYC
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUz7J5h8iWL
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeqws2tk2H
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRvw9ErFXk
and never speak of feelings again.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsx2NRWiik
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vBV9tADiY
what would you write in a breakup text?41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKyLjTC7kF
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhCLIwtaTg
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLaDWPhKie
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBVS5ddDd2
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIvCoQYRfT
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQksGO6wWGy
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfOchj66kA
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugnIZGzobp
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEtRvSivT4
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KaNXO1hyR
that was weirdly lovely.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lRjuscXWR
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQyRSpPRQg
was there a form i missed?41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg62SYAbnyo
should i be sending muffins?
— maya41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3O0Xu7Xn5t
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI58L4mOYc
To: [email protected]41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG62l6Ar4BP
Subject: it’s official
congrats.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Re3fimvel
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJemx2hV4m2
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaCQ25SCOn
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UzyD6mpQM
friend of font victims
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5LlBvdI9i
然後按「加至主畫面」