From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfynvmapmI
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCg6NGepPQ
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKIzB2fZx5
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UkBlZxI52
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRH5Q2lgNor
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcI5DTKneE7
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsND2unOjmt
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbjDkHcapE
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmeWo4ypMt
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeimBKkTaUC
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcaCZ6OShQ
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7niInGuIf
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasES0ZsbdR
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XFW62Z2eB
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfz7GzL7B01
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqdgxYX1ts
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl77HMLHYXH
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNOjCl1pqK
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQmoJoIGbw
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdaCvjXq1Q
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIBp82L0Iy
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1itu37DLC
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr2hgNOTPx
and never speak of feelings again.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYrB4V9Hxh
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzwpBytiNZ
what would you write in a breakup text?54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI3goV3HEL
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcj5DldxpV
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYL1cK6evfd
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6jYNWDXpT
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40vJWjlN5J
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALi9U4XbME
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnTk1D3scK
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyybiDnJeP2
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFprZI2saY
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9akzPG4Wg
that was weirdly lovely.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IZfA14ZtP
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizjNGXscRs
was there a form i missed?54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8JBlPut3L
should i be sending muffins?
— maya54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u1j76MRJQ
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkczWRLI8tp
To: [email protected]54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgV22cmnnK
Subject: it’s official
congrats.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHD6kphXtX
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMKUNZv0jp
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Jlpl6AXEi
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBtY1gMsC8
friend of font victims
54Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5zgk6aIiM
然後按「加至主畫面」