From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBn9ca5gblg
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQJLAsJc65
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxwuBh4HAd
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESXtxaWP1o
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujkqML0ePA
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq6v1hmUg5
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFTTtHqn3l
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6mt3W4P46
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qWxu5py9O
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNDY4S3tYF
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Wt6xgMpBD
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBJB2HOBSQ
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IkmXyqJGa
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlh7Fqwedf
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYno2Ksh6QG
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNNxD7sNY3
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gT0UriIS5
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYT7aHg1Bb
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYovebM7mAi
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp8KBsqWmQ
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7B3tO7NyI
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44qkowxpJI
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5dyeuzmVb
and never speak of feelings again.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu44VJecKNC
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlN8iEsVXkL
what would you write in a breakup text?49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQGLa8D5Ej
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSdX0Qwky8
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaKaBFQBpa
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKECeFMsoWv
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM2jqnarLf
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsjQZb5XPO
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBKgX8Kzq6
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeO4jQ0ehkf
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFduwK3UbCY
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKQMfODQlj
that was weirdly lovely.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsURHFZbLQE
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsxvedym0N
was there a form i missed?49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUrgHfCxpB
should i be sending muffins?
— maya49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxPto6egjl
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM7U6KQYD2
To: [email protected]49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZEVuNlfxQ
Subject: it’s official
congrats.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIsEFRT8oC
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1CtN8XwFy
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9NBmy3E8R
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LNfkZbzrz
friend of font victims
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1g015xHDQr
然後按「加至主畫面」