|| 8:00 pm ||
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflFzshK2iF
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5IISRdFom
Subject: Schedule confirmation + passive-aggressive muffin update
hi eli,132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZoEmbcvLd
just confirming the 2PM group meeting this thursday at Hume Hall still stands.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGHbTfMocF
also, erin brought in those weird protein muffins again. no one ate them. she’s pretending not to notice.
— maya
132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5iclDuOlp
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnErH2upkf
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVo9iZgUzP
Subject: I think I’m the wrong Eli
Hey Maya,132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDzrCCzCRi
You’ve got the wrong Eli.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRc6li5KdS
I would love to say I was scheduled for a group meeting, but I am currently eating cereal on my couch, pants-less, and I don’t know anyone named Erin (or her offensive muffins).
Best of luck though. Team meetings and baked disappointment sound like a vibe.
– Not-Your-Eli132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRfdOjB4ma
aka Eli Martin
132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7Y0xQguPL
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwjzyaSTuo
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeLkiQ5tSwE
Subject: 😂 oh my god sorry
oh. my. god.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC53OKvFTbJ
definitely wrong eli.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsBPtzKdKu
also, the mental image of you pants-less eating cereal? horrifying — and weirdly relatable.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9AwR1548R
sincerely,132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUJKLvybOg
a girl who can no longer face protein muffins or group emails
132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HPm2gRQd4
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF5BlH05E5
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABWaCIHHnt
Subject: the muffin has been notified
No worries. Happens more than you'd think.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxDTjBvYWG
A guy once sent me his grocery list. It was 100% just “almond milk, floss, condoms, hot Cheetos.”132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2eC5CE7SO
No context. I still think about him.
Tell Erin I support her, but also: maybe try banana bread.
– Eli (the wrong one, but apparently memorable)
132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXoeJ1SD8x
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlV4BIdb6x
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpaEyKeW2U
Subject: wrong but kind of right
you’re honestly better than the eli i was trying to reach.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbX39WqCWZ
he once used Comic Sans in a group doc.
ps. banana bread is god tier. erin could never.
132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqtfilf02H
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaDXdgxlbz
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaTxxUmuIy
Subject: justice for banana bread
maya,132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUv3HoIGdMP
is this our meet-cute?132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDM8zEq16PD
like in a chaotic email inbox kind of way?
you insulted a guy’s muffins, complimented banana bread, and accidentally messaged me.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZEyZQ0D7d
i don’t know. feels cinematic.
– still not your eli132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAbOaXTq4N
but i might be a decent one
132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFQW8sQPgg
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5RPnaqbxH
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavysdjVlfC
Subject: definitely a netflix pilot
if this becomes a romance — it better have a 90s soundtrack and questionable fashion.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMtNvGuomZ
(i call dibs on overalls and sad-girl eyeliner.)132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5lQJl7lDw
also: are we still emailing or is this where it ends?
just asking for… curiosity reasons.
– maya132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxkwkPVSB5
professional emailer of strangers
132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlNiUNJ9X1
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw50iNEhCr8
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUutoMFVO68
Subject: only weird if we stop
nah. let’s keep emailing.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfC4AZb3FT
it’s kind of the most interesting thing that’s happened to me this week.
plus i want more muffin drama. and maybe your spotify recs.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6ICexMGfc
purely academic interest, of course.
– eli
From: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKUIumt11n
To: [email protected]132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOh9AOHjK3f
Subject: Re: only weird if we stop
glad you’re on board — who knew muffin drama could bring two wrong elis together?
also, if you start a support group for victims of questionable baked goods, count me in as president.
looking forward to more of your cereal pants stories and maybe some actual muffin updates.
— maya132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5Hf9syk5Z
professional emailer of strangers
P.S. what’s your all-time worst muffin crime? asking for a friend.132Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB7CgWvESP
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