|| 8:00 pm ||
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFw4DvTxDO
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyw1CjymLon
Subject: Schedule confirmation + passive-aggressive muffin update
hi eli,255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZwynsK4i9
just confirming the 2PM group meeting this thursday at Hume Hall still stands.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxoxfaTTJD
also, erin brought in those weird protein muffins again. no one ate them. she’s pretending not to notice.
— maya
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eaPPkzojN
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHTqjYra2c
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fgjShjMDZ
Subject: I think I’m the wrong Eli
Hey Maya,255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOF1ZMMnfjy
You’ve got the wrong Eli.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMnURBEctf
I would love to say I was scheduled for a group meeting, but I am currently eating cereal on my couch, pants-less, and I don’t know anyone named Erin (or her offensive muffins).
Best of luck though. Team meetings and baked disappointment sound like a vibe.
– Not-Your-Eli255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETSW30RpNf
aka Eli Martin
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsY4sASAFm
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhbLqf5qwI
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNaMONcTtL
Subject: 😂 oh my god sorry
oh. my. god.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEx0Y0nIxX
definitely wrong eli.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNht0KTfUho
also, the mental image of you pants-less eating cereal? horrifying — and weirdly relatable.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t26vNkm10
sincerely,255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeyX6XFN0V
a girl who can no longer face protein muffins or group emails
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmOeETa9L9
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB5GtzhRAJ
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡza9IjqLCze
Subject: the muffin has been notified
No worries. Happens more than you'd think.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIxJkIC7vA
A guy once sent me his grocery list. It was 100% just “almond milk, floss, condoms, hot Cheetos.”255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDjLvGj4PB
No context. I still think about him.
Tell Erin I support her, but also: maybe try banana bread.
– Eli (the wrong one, but apparently memorable)
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEggxG7xcP
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhBLnRGxgl
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f0OTCFZQx
Subject: wrong but kind of right
you’re honestly better than the eli i was trying to reach.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjwmgnLx2x
he once used Comic Sans in a group doc.
ps. banana bread is god tier. erin could never.
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbwnBU7s1M
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYo9sm977u
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmIojSkfEo
Subject: justice for banana bread
maya,255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U5AxS0eYP
is this our meet-cute?255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOCNnz21Fc
like in a chaotic email inbox kind of way?
you insulted a guy’s muffins, complimented banana bread, and accidentally messaged me.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU9a3Pc9dN
i don’t know. feels cinematic.
– still not your eli255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBzA6eXJyO
but i might be a decent one
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxLzu9NmDf
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLsWX1D4bh
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTGLOjLv00
Subject: definitely a netflix pilot
if this becomes a romance — it better have a 90s soundtrack and questionable fashion.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITGRyDH73w
(i call dibs on overalls and sad-girl eyeliner.)255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WGWkcJ3S2
also: are we still emailing or is this where it ends?
just asking for… curiosity reasons.
– maya255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX7YpRShtN
professional emailer of strangers
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF68m5Qzm7
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6fNfNNIXB
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbzvRbX9px
Subject: only weird if we stop
nah. let’s keep emailing.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oU5w8Da3h
it’s kind of the most interesting thing that’s happened to me this week.
plus i want more muffin drama. and maybe your spotify recs.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWrMGseQtZ
purely academic interest, of course.
– eli
From: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzxMTUAxf1
To: [email protected]255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTVU0Y3MzM
Subject: Re: only weird if we stop
glad you’re on board — who knew muffin drama could bring two wrong elis together?
also, if you start a support group for victims of questionable baked goods, count me in as president.
looking forward to more of your cereal pants stories and maybe some actual muffin updates.
— maya255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvL5hcQL7l
professional emailer of strangers
P.S. what’s your all-time worst muffin crime? asking for a friend.255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtbYby11EH
and then Add to home screen.