From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg68XeF5Jcq
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsExWTdDW9
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnP2T8rgsnx
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnglzpqaMb
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJrVHwQ9ii
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthj8Ity20E
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjaSVkbvUH
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOB1TqBTBw
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB18eTeqy7b
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrXPteVBaT
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXpKI5Zxki
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusTDUOZeTT
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hPNwYWCrm
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBGZBF4qbm
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFntnWNwsbe
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1En5r1kRP7
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0gyPER7eA
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCBK0CHaG1
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1htH1fqtBJ
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIjRhDyl1C
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLosGoy1ga
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSQrd6DHhJ
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZafxKlvPcV
and never speak of feelings again.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjpdWizdGL
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqjsQfcneA
what would you write in a breakup text?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHLIzGzHjN
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMDY7ZbnuY
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueldcrSHcw
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnE74oBP8R
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDjwNG25eH
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xnrWiAMHM
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTp9Ea3amQ
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSiA3AvDFs
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAkiNCIAcl
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVefugLoBD
that was weirdly lovely.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskoT1AKKMM
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshddGIzTiO
was there a form i missed?265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WNY03Zha9
should i be sending muffins?
— maya265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlnsBTh0JW
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveHAi1TRgE
To: [email protected]265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty40KbpjYL
Subject: it’s official
congrats.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2phCoIhxSi
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnanKvGqsI
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRZSx9LUqL
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRSskP0wTe
friend of font victims
265Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXCb1Ge8d9
and then Add to home screen.