From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRAP2Spa5x
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSWQprjRO5
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBB442fbLIV
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrTztPEB2N
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKsDTB2fzE
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQh0Tdh7V8
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtSpfF0k97
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6vytfIROh
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDb7DNsTg50
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLGSXKSCP8
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X1GRqiXtd
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3teBKbLJFC
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenahVVwGUk
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUZ5tr4Gkt
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTD2QXP3UNz
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL45GgJeICA
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW94EXRpBN
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblsZ7fII09
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVnQQn1NRv
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJpY9C7tLr
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9CmctpGnP
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGY0mjzebDh
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXSyEQ8moA
and never speak of feelings again.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HgLHxgdME
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhL7epoy18H
what would you write in a breakup text?19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIFn97aEj4
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ103NtoUm40
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mmgQ7Hq1U
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMd9ku35DdM
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTbwndj0XS
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP9onVKskJ
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdhnif3GeF
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2F6d0NQ3E
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53Y7Ap9hfK
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYahtHWpeFx
that was weirdly lovely.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGdJObvPB8
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOUkbhz7fn
was there a form i missed?19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdZDBfSZm8
should i be sending muffins?
— maya19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RTMlDiddD
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwt1O0mq8d
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmd4KPQe7C
Subject: it’s official
congrats.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHyOU5rDvG
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh5UcKibaL
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzcJGDtcHl
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJrD592Ppm
friend of font victims
19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Hk9qLDrQQ
然後按「加至主畫面」