From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7KjPUBbQ1
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJVwVsc46Z
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlr478TrOQ
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2BfH2i9Nx
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESqipaeWmO
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2uQ00AGmL
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooLWofktNJ
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1qdjPC8gI
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPyLcjhf5k
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK27gUrc3Rh
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JmIXcg2uH
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X38F0RYNt
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l33kG6iow
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPiMpAaMB9
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouPkdkuyrS
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdaqW30yuL
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnFmEALiom
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsHsTZIBAR
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhykL3pj37
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8VGaM5UZW
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CrD2j3W6B
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzL2Y4xAuEC
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxK7ra0RPC
and never speak of feelings again.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojAIuO8AKl
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NSTvnI5X7
what would you write in a breakup text?34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonmtXjDB62
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvklje0R7l
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAb20VTtkSA
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcRqaMNftD
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mR3mi7WDH
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGotEucTf7
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoduq4VtYlK
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6WZ11qoYP
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qeYfu7IZq
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2vZxONVW7
that was weirdly lovely.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1PWgKKV3C
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19mfRehlfW
was there a form i missed?34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ442grr2u
should i be sending muffins?
— maya34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4PmY7Ems3
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XoxFeZKc0
To: [email protected]34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZ3zHDEZwW
Subject: it’s official
congrats.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1DjzQv0ER
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡak2yuvIt29
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPqyo1f54U
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PpQMxCfWz
friend of font victims
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBstS8eJku
然後按「加至主畫面」