From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzumjTzH1b
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ktnr27ddF
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ7IPwue5T
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NJbaaxzrd
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdOCjAV2er
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABwdNnboBE
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFi0JkfBFnQ
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrB0hGy6NA
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VsIVX97n2
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSqllutZFr
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWqqbTHtrN
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcGmAZDKlr
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNWZMBkFmW
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxa3zYckzX
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0WBcqC8Ol
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgbIHGTw1Z
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwA3vXKZ8zC
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3SuKVfjp1
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGUbfk4M4N
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7pJuMlYUX
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUJS1XJc3Q
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkpE85xjEp
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eMhoXPeUx
and never speak of feelings again.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXM3I0JUnv
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZInpbjL95x
what would you write in a breakup text?137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKZdGBlMut
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30G11UMl7b
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryegDuRlGo
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yixx8iJEl
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tFzR0JaJL
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡri1cDZguGG
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgrQrFYqrA
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD20EnRDX1
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkutDgFFQdg
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxd7qQu9VD
that was weirdly lovely.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xpkIT2xDx
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsz9MG55oS
was there a form i missed?137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5PW522fwj
should i be sending muffins?
— maya137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84rAxIDQOC
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21AsSbxu7L
To: [email protected]137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97vrYTi0N6
Subject: it’s official
congrats.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CTI076LAn
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz701B3oOD8
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCk8iuUopJs
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnT3jZVIxg
friend of font victims
137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2d15zIaonh
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