From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFHRnEzhj9
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvTlBICNUg
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2HLFPlYGp
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUMhhmHJ5d
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwZgMRzToj
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jfr30sADL
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIjzZY4X5Q
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh2WwW7Ro2
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpfhs98x0L
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa93Tw4kD4i
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIyE3S6WxR
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT01i1PMA5
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6fqN5WD1P
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IhBoY5vdT
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5tkYinIoL
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9igBgu4Wo
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtt76Zjzwi
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs31su6BIxX
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0b0RgABY3
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10T5X2Cg2G
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iIWRGHs5F
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXhbBCrCak
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwe1i2xzTR
and never speak of feelings again.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa00EroOHhJ
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmzEk9fI3x
what would you write in a breakup text?280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3q8lqLL53l
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRiQcTMKm2
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZq9ZxAhJO0
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeOJCjPPj0
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNji4tYyZH
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7XqzBqpJQ
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzuQVDTUX5
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbQ3TVCmO4
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPyVbrMCQZ
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2IXjOJ9cK
that was weirdly lovely.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht8kmIPMR6
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawgOFG6qat
was there a form i missed?280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNyuY5UD3E
should i be sending muffins?
— maya280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf1vY9cTNA
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb82dQo1wQ1
To: [email protected]280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcLteICCwD
Subject: it’s official
congrats.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnknESvwfA5
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2Gw4EcZNI
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoJUkyzPle
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fM41X7g46
friend of font victims
280Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RLxtVxy4Y
and then Add to home screen.