"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWVf6eW6L1
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbACNKFkSD
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq9d7xExjv
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgtwIBeW5Y
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXWZGpH6hF
it’s a mood.
– maya19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyS41xInky
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfAtbR4mI5
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQNNv04Shr
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB3vvCQP65
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkqmzw7gOi
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKB8hbV1p1i
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDI920w0qMR
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX6XLyRVEG
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmZjK71jY9
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhk2xTxSlqe
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHO60azFaa
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIxDc5jwEG
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnpdqK14LB
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCnzx7d6Ip
i have goosebumps.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxpPmIfUSW
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkffX8bxDj
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1k7PySo2So
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbxc3SP3M2
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pD2EB8X3v
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3nBxPm0UT
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUH5rOLhZO
you passed the vibe check.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtBxM3cJPi
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZygMjinfhC
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjy2pVXai9N
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25dO7x90yg
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZcGyInyDC
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8IO9jMfYa
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCenOywXrs
i did cry.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8HBfwHevE
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCq1DqALof
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AZa9AVFfM
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOS4uj4mkQ
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WF8p73Xs9
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58PIdFrHqj
To: [email protected]19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QPpaEkyzT
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xvWchhnSe
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9qWMrumV0
together we’re like...19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VODvKIEwj
the emotional avengers.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUUJqyLaKS
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgF2odxWVVz
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHELVFj09H
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoRadUYoNU
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8TJXbj13e
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8d60UDpjnV
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrl7y0KlthM
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz6xhZqDl0
screamed into a spoon. felt better.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWY33d9PKW
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJqNixJkdJ
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCnDuqRlMB
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLcPUyhSej
the rain cried for me.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyXtnhALEY
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppZDgx1Occ
i do not condone murder. but i understand.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabfOgpVSDU
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7dC1cNedD
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcY8NU3wPX
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiNsQ1pndd
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJr9V8n5jWQ
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」