"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaPY84AcAK
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iQxIVFWcH
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l4FJgsbGG
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs6nz730nj
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uTYn5iNrS
it’s a mood.
– maya33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8x0ZI2kJl
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrD2nVeD0p
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXMnUSdXTS
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bipZg6Ufw
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezMAlK0OyL
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kIuaXGZlf
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G09bo4q6t
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpMyNYrPKB
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhRkbcywYL
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwWr8gmRSu
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAk8NL24pDp
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5AcLE0YoB
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgBWI1ygRp
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83yPeNy2Jp
i have goosebumps.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpi7eklbtO
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmvNopImew
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VaKcr7a3M
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0kXgzM6Ka
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6IobZo0XX
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYFIvEhX7a
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbyYoleCPC
you passed the vibe check.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld6atNRB4S
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEmLfwifnZ
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hg7Sc9URg
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KWF9JeoEU
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgB1kkoqeL
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpcseTP13H
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjDKu2cLqG
i did cry.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2zPWj3wN7
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5g6nenwNv
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavQztmG5G4
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEMjnWr8eV
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuR4K8M2on
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSM5MsKoHr
To: [email protected]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvm960n3ZR
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8ufPDHwMT
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aPG594ef2
together we’re like...33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BFrHISPYF
the emotional avengers.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQvUAo7bO3
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtDg0hA3GJ
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg2r4rgVDR
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQXfMnRg7r
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1FKkU84Jk
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKww63etdUL
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErtAOcLgKA
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgeC32nSoy
screamed into a spoon. felt better.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNcTMarD0M
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlVXXGBEDv
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOBCsAZ1jT
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRhx7QGvqS
the rain cried for me.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZbmpePDso
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bU2LxtPk0
i do not condone murder. but i understand.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9plC7prKAn
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquaH31Dfty
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyHFxVlhkO
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYupIWorWrC
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpi66Gqr4bI
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」