"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlsliwzXMW
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQGnSmrrhV
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxduDLlpQk
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53JB4jwc6z
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4qFxaSgiT
it’s a mood.
– maya59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdavTsDQJd
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEGcc3oF1y
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtdPQBZ5Lq
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRBA9X8XLR
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdnBz2EfOX
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBy6eZvW6H
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxspyczAW8
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVM1LaGrJ8
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxM1XBli74
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0Tebl7Cs1
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRw53u9XCFA
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3mguiUO9u
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1gkh6fL0t
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡch5QMFEpRb
i have goosebumps.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJuSw9dQoa
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnL6wijkaZ
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtmmjyIZHF
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEWpu6k5zY
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCEFtjWBWc
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBtZfKvr12
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXF0ycYPCf
you passed the vibe check.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZPgqhsQia
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kjeyZN8YZ
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9WnRn4aJ7
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKaNYLtCYF
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cLPNQMGUU
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L2PrycC34
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTG1HNur1C
i did cry.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfZaplKm3U
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoljEGCx6em
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEwRRybaKA
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHREbwmIV5S
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkCDSpXYAc
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zhB177RLe
To: [email protected]59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9aXCm7ksI
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4BuFjS9zl
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijQxh64ntR
together we’re like...59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvhUGQPUjK
the emotional avengers.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXsAAdecKJ
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59Y3yh895R
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuRarrQtVo
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfvS5HHUAp
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGSkwwG8se
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAVK3Zp2Yr
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGxtIcn7h9
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0VhwMTZOZ
screamed into a spoon. felt better.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjBJIIzEf5
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiWVRE8RPE
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U4qrfGcAf
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYAFzneeBt
the rain cried for me.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFApQThxArz
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8JFLUtLbt
i do not condone murder. but i understand.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqPPOppq5z
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsdzPUIYQ4
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxUzRLae15
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzPD2D4kGU
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lIECPnMd2
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」