"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71Mfn8yOkA
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93ocoRl8NY
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjc0T8bmQMC
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZs7Mn4ME3F
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SlDKUqN1w
it’s a mood.
– maya56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLj7ENVHmFW
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRTieSyAS3
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7clroZqLa
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3mNzVYxGZ
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuJWqtxYq4
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqffZWWe7k
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVdBXeFyBc
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgznI2o4S8
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhhuYWVm52
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLZBjMAmsV
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumzPwZBqQi
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqObL3t8yG
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkkEbBQQBo
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbiBBbedUy
i have goosebumps.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh7Djyz61h
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0D61Ubpe4
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAmLkYjrl5
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYx5VOI9HGn
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsypANKpkOA
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOD6fFMLxn
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrGs0T9AXl
you passed the vibe check.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCZuY30Ej2
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF956C3r1Rb
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewensxAc2y
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59PGLzXqcl
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJOb4HM4k5
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdO71KpxZj
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADg8VcW57K
i did cry.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwC8GjwjLt
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasCGQAJ9Dy
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Us9NslKQT
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EKkK6gYmg
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa5UOL6VyU
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02f0SRb1SN
To: [email protected]56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw7nudMJEU
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCtrLpbc4c
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eq6eJ9voc
together we’re like...56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSEIERUTo5
the emotional avengers.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAvsmyVomP
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zXCaNq5wZ
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1ws8yMbU7
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdL4XeZ7WI
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU5kAiNEGb
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iYdVZ6kGN
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH11V0yLoK6
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD18rxW8zf
screamed into a spoon. felt better.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIcI6EDt3e
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZQagLdWCy
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8awdOJPup
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0jm3Pv6bQ
the rain cried for me.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7r2efhnKv
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuxNtI8wQj
i do not condone murder. but i understand.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VP1bqnRaj
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwq7m34ec1
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdNTMedzs7
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdmsMNUHcK
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli56Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85Zopu94gm
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」