"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7zKH2Ffod
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEniQIjcc7c
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxGYFmKn9O
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTO6EejQlM
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9NlbYkc7h
it’s a mood.
– maya58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD1eYiE60y
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPSHiVVIai
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGaxznoAoo
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH015bIE5bt
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeNd18YKyQ
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJpGgDdslT
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6SyJPLm2S
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1QK19P3a8
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1WL5hCzh4
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgVD8EJJeI
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNENQ05XZT
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgQR4Wp9N6
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlnGcvePhQ
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNlCBZViA4
i have goosebumps.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuU22NX6BP
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLE3wNxNlEd
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSkmjZEpL5
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SsVNUuXZ7
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPs3WTlQGw3
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYymmR9pQg1
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6AIerCOEl
you passed the vibe check.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0bDLdKqUC
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbP6eNYZuY
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sVaY89dD5
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0lYJNo8l2
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIc8Juidwz
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63jHOw6cAT
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf2B3sJ0ak
i did cry.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8Mr9pZp2Z
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl8TwZzG05
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfvQ0RTKVi
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZ6o6cjmH7
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURZzLaKZ1j
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQb74tvMVh
To: [email protected]58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrFq3hs8mP
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQW0k9a9mP
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqNzrx2y1I
together we’re like...58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlS3rSti06J
the emotional avengers.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf90LQgUpfZ
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT6ALpb44j
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSFzwnljnx
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEz8aiYRm1
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3aHie2Wrx
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISzXHdHnNY
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmu8KvvrfIK
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSews6kmYAn
screamed into a spoon. felt better.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXk34wBR72
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ltr95madl
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1fKPeHgBZ
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EzaKq64G4
the rain cried for me.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWHyOAL8hk
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEorZJ8Jvb
i do not condone murder. but i understand.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbVXGtuAZF
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVQLyVvlfq
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rZUmU4IZM
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mo8LmlWPw
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgHtOcO6kl
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」