《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第二章數學課！

「同學們，請回位子上坐好。」一位沒見過的老師在鐘響後走進教室。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtmnxWef2u

342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukFQtnr4Kw

同學們面面相覷。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQje3F7iVO
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv9rkwp3eg

「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEBO1rYQIK
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2JZdzTsFU

「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPgifeJEPm
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4KNyGQ8yH

「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFk7H8F9UDg
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW7RlbixE4

「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8tzpuIhND
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZaqbUWNN5

「那改成老不羞好了。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4BcfSHfXi
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdC24TbTMaf

「更糟糕了啊！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcIJ9E6LGj
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnrzJmICeg

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekwsVgoCOd
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSw2JNXNCs

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrQ7UfcT2N
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuwsBtg7e3

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EnE7lPRTq
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahD3LHLRIe

「老師，它正在暖身。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmu3sGQ35U5
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn62NxjUBEw

「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Pnm9CxEzL
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVSfOYi44e

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJhjpVjAm3
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ijkWuSu9z

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h7JISX5f2
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7TEyGCfMw

「那我改姓三岐。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoJmeVYvPQ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDdd96PwEp

「才不是這個意思！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQEssg8N6Q
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFBiSXwfee

「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkj6DCxFpGX
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTpABGH3xS

「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eKEg2MQjZ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxz6td03yv

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd34nHd6GA3
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3e1UrCmHQ

「元帥好弱。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55S0iU9lmp
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8925Mon8lz

「你根本是想殺了我吧！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNrjMWKY4h
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Lfr8upQc6

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpAuugDVO5
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i6kVmbpPS

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEHTESASTK
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFeTDCL7Oz

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXVuBNTIbe
除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryZXu4tiLi
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2FrPdvGAA

「老師！別中計啊！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gcKqWdBiw
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygJBj0jldP

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz1c0Ly4ir
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHM4Jn4erN

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn4FG3wXvb
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdg4mhocqVd

不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRA7oS1F3H
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Dw8dvKVC0

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddXza5CcwN

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aTH4qrT9u
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU14b8JuF8H

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUHqqbTpZu
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MC9zm5qP8

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6E7UwUEAG
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCBx354hCP

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBRSwQHW28
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtNVtspm0y

「什──」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIfnYgQF6N
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUS8aNIeOJ

「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ74IDg4kMh
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLffDi5loc

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0wXWrPM5F
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16cM3utFpt

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKTutcIHsQ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaEPTt6JMj

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVfEsKpdA6
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYlwe9kls4

真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmG9fKJiDG
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaZD2owF4e

「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0DUPnoM5M
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmo1wWiOuyA

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQnUXchIKM
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FbNNKNGEJ

賴妍歪頭。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0dNcxDL5i
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxirCvVvzAZ

「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz03S5yLOps
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ArovugydB

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQRgbhW20m
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvp08gljvi9

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRClmkc2lMy
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPRW6loeXp

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRG0AxHeWni
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8N7alwbnY5

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6PFnlitOt
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXB1vj3kEK

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBjH6AGzU2
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWgaqr4XpY

「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4e98fSMSJ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NHF4YeL9z

「一加一等於二。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10hGjdsmrY
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCN2nFof6KQ

「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVN4pyyIEjF
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcP91JF2bG

「……咦？」老師愣住了。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pnzp7mBUV
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6F4VCntlr

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRHKouojOK
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1HFak8srF

「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwQwjEzzHQ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXkuE2bY2s

「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtHrVvMeb0
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtjiM3HxIg

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIbxJYeOwI
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完蛋了。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pPh8HYVyI
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZk3YFtK3U

「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgO2Oup5nr0
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlxRyZRSG6

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0yzyi0DEq
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkXnjah7Rz

「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16LaKQl0h0
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXLZ95VGzh

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVepL3Busm
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7ncLZyEUz

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX3g2cFnlu
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOaKtCzBGH

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOfgVIKqBa
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjjeIdBYPR

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZMiIMNlNs
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAK6uNfJxo

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVRPAQbH8x
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesITo45VYa

賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjxqDjekAm
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tAvRPKouo

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1L5MM4WYc
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtvoS28QyU

老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKXSpAt1TZ
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YaOsPIns7

這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbO1sLbMJJ

342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jZhtfZG8I

老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CpbZrsmlb
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「同學！一加一等於多少！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0flXXXq9c
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ69kWCUZR3

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFIeZduko0
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcGWQut6GK

賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwlBBdA4rb
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rhnDi52Xa

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc234hMv7J
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgDaoRo8ip

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqdMnESFLt
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQORdrOyEZI

「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVjI2c0mui
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全班盯著三岐。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAQ8KE9aWZ
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「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuol02cLV1m
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賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzJ8BmA5va
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「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQNEm7YZzz
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9iC1yisWd

「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Lsr73z1zj
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當日結果：342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0fHI74SpU
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbdSd8DcCd

在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sFmYILA1r
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99mcSuwDDt

賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmBYI14zdx
342Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXtkRgRU7x

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