《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第二章數學課！

「同學們，請回位子上坐好。」一位沒見過的老師在鐘響後走進教室。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jAjyN0igg

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同學們面面相覷。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Mx2eB0e0z
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjImL2BG9DD

「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsUA9NiFnv
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvow4hoeWB

「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9NZfBl3Zv
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQVF75Wtih

「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidXgzbJbdq
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxt9DzFz4y

「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FhlRUHV3r
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「那改成老不羞好了。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPxvwPXFiH
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「更糟糕了啊！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTC83Ey4fsW
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWpvXFKILu

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9JusYqVtp
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lqlM10CCZ

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYwOrWLm1r
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NceAROM2z

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Lsb2pRGKM
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3dXw41Tu8

「老師，它正在暖身。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzAtpp2N2D
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCA02IA6eDJ

「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziJ38m9fr3
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbcO77BAgM

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkP7Fc8BI3B
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jJJ8xVLwt

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDUiTQep63
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「那我改姓三岐。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VfaagjqSH
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「才不是這個意思！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zI1eWIhro
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「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn7y1Yo9ZF
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9d1b130Ig

「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxwza4szPV
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBV3DiPHvS

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQii6q9szf4
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「元帥好弱。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAG0k9BBddk
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「你根本是想殺了我吧！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfIa023JdI
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgbruaXRdx

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4KAXbIorq
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1BSktFkrG

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdebvmknXG
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4jWDDj5QZ

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7OyNecGDh
除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9mUNHTt1n
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG99vNV1ISA

「老師！別中計啊！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDjOx30Orx
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ue589jISR

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3frR8K35QN
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIBWCgngLw

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe07fEN87Eu
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不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9M95RhuEuJ
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「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

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「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcpFOuluVS
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「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKyzh3cuB0
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡct6967yT7q

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWqEwJojqG
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaWr0bLnir

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZcrG1XrXu
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「什──」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lsbgEQyCu
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「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvC9LOKT3bK
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bBrfqvnTn

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3U31Xp950
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74qEvzukQr

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ283shsQ1tl
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「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh83REL61qZ
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真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNt0iafPwVv
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「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH89MsdHk3k
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlxEot3O3y

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliwch2LcsE
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賴妍歪頭。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwCAIewILq
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「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcSUw3gtgJ
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaysmj1buCs

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoBfLXxsE0
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3dELKxm8O

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUdBL0N8Pw
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptL2S3pVtK

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxZ1Guy1KH
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6lIMy7fhD

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLQOzGetp6
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvYP5GuonP

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMMHdVg64N
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「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMwLyY8p4k
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「一加一等於二。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKMcs2yaU5
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「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NRFv9Vgzw
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「……咦？」老師愣住了。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrnhcRf07f
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vM7aalxTw

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIS3QVJrPx
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「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpB02esxir
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「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUCBuHKCOe
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOQ3K15UGR

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGDM3h2RCL
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完蛋了。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJXfCoLN0t
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「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TpKGAl53Q
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUTDqBiiit

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9A7N4P6UG
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「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjxYQ0NxLF
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOx6NQ3nGSa

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJsTKgBM0S
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「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4lBpuuxmp
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「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzyy5MvAaq
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKyvblfJJj

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIUQYRSEFt
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFV4bCedjx

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCcJd6VQe1
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡme61zER0F4

賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCu0w6GdNLI
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「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCekITYDoWL
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老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmPloYfXTf
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這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYsurcmDod

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老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItVToLBelq
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「同學！一加一等於多少！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7k9eNU2BB
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rVLP3FFaI

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwA6xEMl3xP
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賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1vHv87Hx7
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「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNwlktySNz
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「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStwms0NoAH
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「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVjF8sWM8D
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全班盯著三岐。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7sxVUJJX1
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「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoJJub8SO3
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賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQYBtrEaoE
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「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRaEToWfnW
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「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38TzDLhqG7
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當日結果：337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWz8nvz6Jx6
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在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu3c5mqv3a
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoem3M0j0v

賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5z3ufG89G
337Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGt3FjA1AA

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