日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsrXFhk9ur
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydyvz9n9BP
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIjOWipLpp
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhnoPCASma
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7RfOel3C7
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sCnTkGQvZ
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzH2WNwrSaw
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHRMNqEQ7T
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4IS8B7fwJ
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XeN465UTg
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UOj5at3te
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqRqDteoq1
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnAt4qQuzu
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFsK2aS5qo
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIjxKImnbj
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXh5QUtjyv
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLhEqDrYu2
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyLpUoAE4f
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqE5U57iaY
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjB9OjUBDiG
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Okanq64Hz
「我哪知道。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5wUZCFaMb
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31wSpLi7gc
「……說的也是。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0Xn0K8Kc7
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTRonfGT4Y
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiz4UMGld4
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nOF7cddX7
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc98oCTd0RI
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8NzEbFen9
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGor5GISGWa
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PrB0uMH2z
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgcYsVccur
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FKnQUbLGM
無法灑脫。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4e87hSOk0
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gpNEy2GVp
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2KTc6VGfF
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbv7sDBMkrZ
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WqkRqTBG0
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiusbKMffNk
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0yoiRcFNbn
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX80VraKTHs
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gbOELJL3o
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdl0s9kKJc
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8QNFSQFsJ
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYakny6mWWz
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98zSna3gzU
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBx0onW7E1
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3R7grtg3C
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtSLe9hE8B
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny7QI1TRYr
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzx9fOYKkXK
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLRqRSGzxL
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTAF2pekFQ
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvA7fo6MguB
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvy3BnU02ey
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHjoMakWmg
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNGoaRAzt3
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ6XqzTrTT
「嗯。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hg965YrS4
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObsQO4zSeE
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidTRxZZslM
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEQy16vImt
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHYQL12Hvv
我還不明白。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtzP6edq6K
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcRanRKv4G
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmYxU6AvZd
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzdmaxRx1k
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfWX6KOMmK
「……沒有。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMioZB9gkw
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq36T7Pjktl
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9onKewSxF
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sHvmAjq0Q
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKypM2LNw5
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiScPIalZD
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHrgz7a1vK
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkylLBGz7iC
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TO5YBkgIo
「妳沒必要忘記。」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz07jDyrIkN
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlWENUZuqE
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoQ2RuyIq2
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1F4syZkB1
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAmcXIWItm
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERWXogjJsE
後來。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNzQ3UneWU
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENU7p3cWpz
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v3t7C7HKv
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPYYn8oXsc
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYAJOAFwEy
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9YdtTljL0
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYF6zpCZIQ
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpKQ4JB9Hw
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDRtbHzfrT
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZN8UEBVRF
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7Ss5B02xu
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JDE53lR0y
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOFUzKUlqm
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngqN8pcxvJ
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sXILzy7wd
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3GY0Gy42j
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnZ0wtoy7A
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDueJVdx5R
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81OyKlyd2O
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHiRBvKqTf
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0x47pyMUu
547Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40hCPfDe5Q
完。
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