日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXb7ywJQgJ9
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0RYvEQpcM
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9z6iFHGNs
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GpigXHJ3m
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TFyFlnMER
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSR4q2Tzg7v
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJxrTswf66
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3x7AsgCV9
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LNZuXJOoe
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUO7sEZvNk
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7X0fDJL3R
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqyS6DqJha
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajTELYhDAa
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiJqN3GHwG
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd4KT3JAYE
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVGgzwqzsg
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywolMFmuq8
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZKUZYzskc
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4OfKS0hoY
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19iGfGeTrJ
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNJAc3eqbz
「我哪知道。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgx7vS47mU
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnu3dclQesA
「……說的也是。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ699G5LdJNc
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTjmDz5bSC
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZIkLFexE8
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLCFQjUZV4
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkN0kGIhYm
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYiYGKbpyd
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVAyl8ZKE9
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqImNzTivp0
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QQED7mdbi
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Yiwb5ylbP
無法灑脫。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhcXcRJyjW
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTU3lYZH67h
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV0AQgyoAT
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU61zorNyBi
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q5bwkFhns
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1vhCjhrXP
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGfHhdIgvl
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaiXJyE537
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFcxdPTgql
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BhXlaGJF3
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbtwwLVyJ9
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCR3zHWh3SB
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgSkXX4cAh
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdvYzgqcK0
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3za54RwuvL
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZLlT0HIbz
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLXxhYy4yc
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBRItIY3qx
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01IbR7NK4Z
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQmnWiFe1M
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs4Sl40EcH
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXSpUSyxg1
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUm31exCqy
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7apOJO2ghu
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkr3X6WmWf
「嗯。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoewrNcUdLx
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1m0ioYMMuI
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOORIqPeXf
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgD4gDlRsQ
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qqqMqW1O3
我還不明白。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgiRoxHYzt
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfUE9xcCqC
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCPxJ4Jhwq
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb5lkeHXvF
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6Wjxa1qXF
「……沒有。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNsm4ouqO9
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgwG0B715J
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0yZofRQyD
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2YXp7Zave
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnV9TwvOzvZ
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi75l5PRSNQ
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlCkhMIyRP
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN78eielAZq
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxsjVOPzzC
「妳沒必要忘記。」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbAltwqExl
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrq2GxLCaY
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf9HkiY1wE
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzOIYw1WFe
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuCAO7xiBc
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fPiq3JRLM
後來。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzeu0djwmo
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtITnME6evG
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC11a85UvuT
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TQr032VKJ
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKZm1dDgMl
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsk3fxetL6
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1G7VfZrGiM
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqIC4aGyIZ
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoc9kLu8Lt
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWWpgMNnl2
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrC1hHPR3O
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lqDBwSRxV
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92VxCFKqgA
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzfVn1mOLs
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7g6I9NTHv
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcVxgUJJKN
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHLSRRnv22
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tTrybfca5
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzOfXLehHf
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY35jrb2gBq
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yp0oQRJ2I
609Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJVzQh6YfR
完。
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然後按「加至主畫面」