日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsJAazG1NG
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvextzX2s4s
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2BAXNDfD8
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmCzQNqLJ6
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYFv7lIVla
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIfy4BFB8b
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5F6B6qHGjG
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGANzuBaxSg
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6fr7SYaz0
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5f2gH5htAx
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC3ZxLGZ5m
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXB8PNGgOu5
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa57WE4gTak
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT4wtPbN8X
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6CgdDexH5
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡombXBrAiI3
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsd31VCDkH
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSbKqaGXnb
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcxyCEmtsh
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSPibwvzKJ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeBhzNm7Oa
「我哪知道。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUUf5CVm9h
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedwN5KW8ML
「……說的也是。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmfJrwgskU
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ed1Evbrpx
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlgWZ5T3hN
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGJmzjT6dg
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xsvVmBJot
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUZC2vmlGQ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IuYTfF7O8
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWLKftVjKx
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbu4ECXZS6
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqhiOa8d6I
無法灑脫。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABuzUidRnN
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOAoD57ME7
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfy7InqKbK8
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5X1zBJJO1
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFE2Cckdem
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuQ8dMgWwb
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hEY22fxzb
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8lVb1tY6G
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujC7M4a1Ol
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj614T6DkZ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UrjNqDe7Y
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7V3CsvNU6V
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP67nqtLjHs
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa35tDbCBd5
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLxTXmPEXL
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQ63qkjVQ1
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9CpkoiEFo
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiwHDO78VI
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDz0POIH58
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCMJ469NyV
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFyDJSFW3q
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2PND6iKcQ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CpzjklPmZ
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjYHy8oxzv
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5dfe1sjNj
「嗯。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzlSTfY8mX
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcX3G0w1MGV
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycxmy9MOFG
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTQ5BpcetQ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaaINojUG4
我還不明白。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNhwszsIsq
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJOPhZXRKr
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBujNs1ojT9
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5b7JbmvaS
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkwHhCqbaj
「……沒有。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVnEajvUxJ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXxNHINoLS
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwLGU9QgON
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3EXE7Z7Ks
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT86jkVT7rZ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01sM5kwqEx
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7msUpFWmQI
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzanpQ0xtUJ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIBawhvj99
「妳沒必要忘記。」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70jQTL22Gn
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTcthlR4Xx
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqdgFzVSBH
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ClVuQjcyJ
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBNlQYdvv8
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfDPyKmf4v
後來。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxvaKgDkGt
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EmddCICpq
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHolJYosiy
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Xdr6fF996
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqURrh56bg0
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8RND7UYL9
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4HlOon29f
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbEwmeyBiP
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGD1WahP50
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXBZY6Qv30
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNmbnsV0ja
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JWzMZqdER
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqv2Q2nJy8
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLLlMww5ut
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrKD3cygq1
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbM7EWblfPA
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡne2xwdKS9x
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ5FUP7pGk
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqmxMc3mvI
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYacEtmg6Q
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzjGAZUElW
747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGpZYEt0iD
完。
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