日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzvMRkRhUp
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7vFCev2zV
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLVKacMVSM
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbPizhvjor
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRTKcCk7BY
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD6kHSCIgH
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGNRnfCfFS
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeELLPDouUl
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNEp6roIyl
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdqBIvSfF2
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0C2IWtKHN
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFNR9vMCNX
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPrJyR8eeE
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBqhUAC04K
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Cu0tEDwYZ
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyG2bMV5Bu
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhjtuV6om9
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjjWY1XPpv
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFf9EbS3hS
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKs7Zo1Ua5
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4fM24AEnS
「我哪知道。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BgLaoM0gl
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KbITFiCEo
「……說的也是。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyvb35upJY
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01VwwPATCt
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UFumzcCAd
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbRXaR8dHF
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUbNNGqZyu
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4K1BiBHeMz
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkN3nh8ehPC
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDZIFGGo14
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMz6hjQtjn
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIxEZRn8qM
無法灑脫。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX65n039Xto
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey0WFee4Hu
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRx6fjeCfi
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN4Mqd3j2n
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpm0Bb11FK
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hVFVvs7nj
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgEyHknJeZ
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXPBeZaYgB
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPONrXyp6S
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ww22ZpcZu
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCxPGtOxa8
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBKwqPZVKE
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MNezyOveT
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL245ynOulV
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsOmnqF7vs
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoFOVWYON1
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXa8iFvfHVd
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUr1ydcVAL
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaSulKzjzo
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58jYPx6Kwf
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYHKIXXKky
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaf8y1M489
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHesc5bfII8
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx67OaSgHck
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpuQ9EzEAs
「嗯。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegI05amH09
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0828a0NuP
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xbMVeLrSm
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bvZmTxC3X
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI74Hy1GK0t
我還不明白。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3KfEzpUKR
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1Ngce6cLK
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO03TrhIG2
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EH78Ao9vl
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE7eO3JyjI
「……沒有。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSYGzPWucL
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyX9sjuu2Z
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4k0Mb9yTb5
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2CR2GWmKW
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGvq1Jxaap
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknh6z35oRq
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3suWs4Uydq
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ850JcSlLqh
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZqJzBeIkG
「妳沒必要忘記。」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv7nRxeEAg
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5D767nY2t
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f5Y2XDAkR
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJbVjD4cEe
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELmou7LBrC
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkSpUuFfgc
後來。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCfKgmqdH8
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3L58QldlM
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoTxKMToQi
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqsq60w9PE
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaHpGDyBMT
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHANKD21AVQ
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQANTRdJjBn
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHxlfd8hic
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFaJqL7YpZ
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sEpSzxST7
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLJdZ6COLD
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzSDjowPCN
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3tGx3iPja
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYCD13NVHE
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i1EHJwlcR
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPx5clwGNQm
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3u0qpd8Qc
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgb4oZdENtv
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VSfz1Jyll
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEvcw72yOA
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4PPS8h73J
556Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFHtbBNK1L
完。
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