日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfgnXY3lpp
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1putVqdQg
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMuoK4gtq5
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DBhnggpuX
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wXsdZ1k8j
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaL5JktnVdD
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JEjgcC63z
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WytldhyAi
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8Iocey53Q
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhopcw8VaIG
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQCYUaiJw2
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiEVcBuY1R
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X4Pcjdx3L
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMM7Ep8zek
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjXTJQMS8C
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCcHXxID7n
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ag53dFz9w
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkGDlnFXOh
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8RixxhdnY
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMwliMhXWE
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgO7zRrDUtT
「我哪知道。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKhZ5RI2ty
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYSHmMphsW
「……說的也是。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oqCqVzacM
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2ytSATC3I
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWrvUkXAJq
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhB3BA3TYmh
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73TfGFUKbi
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm68hYINLQL
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfWQD6jTGh
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGDEJKFMHt
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYruWJMz7w
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTBxDzvn67
無法灑脫。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLEK2gYfAs
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqf3kUL2uiF
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvM5EBiXbf
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36g888MGUG
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36sYXXvfwN
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoifUVdl5zW
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpcidNxulc
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34lmNyhT3C
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTOwYSs6EI
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bDEfehMSo
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW53zOpF5e
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaEDjtysbX
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGOQHnTSKQ
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytKZwTHDE9
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj75fUCyofu
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3caB0S9Tih
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazCM8mK5hY
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfek0fcqod
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjxX8JNjTy
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdbTBcS6i5
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPNy6rk4tB
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7NY6nkhdR
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ie9q7RtAz
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvqSiTPyiE
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ149U5lHdw2
「嗯。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFXR5z1sPw
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfwUkaa12r
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtspt7CVDf
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlCymcRoeT
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCHmS4HPZO
我還不明白。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeTLlHaM7q
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufx23ewpRX
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U8VlgvLlM
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJja09yEVdX
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9428PxWjR
「……沒有。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzR9vnw0fWk
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7XCgz4EMo
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OVYxAY1G7
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlPU6LanzC
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzj6F38kqY
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDY8ObxJdRd
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdMHEltD6s
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8OVIIjMKA
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJNxb0v5rS
「妳沒必要忘記。」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEB3tc3FcF
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXd5lo3yUk
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstRqRi1Kmr
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDhbN3te7l
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWoeleJnIv
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoIrlsfatR
後來。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7T28L3jra
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4VDvEaxGh
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoNab6Rt8f
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQejEG7RTil
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK1nDIqQwN
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2y4Ue1r2V
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU8bR1CVf2
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14iLyB0jmv
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1w76oR6b0S
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCiR3Uu2En
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MDbD056ec
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdf9uHAMGR
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH5N2hBHa2
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC6tloVPKC
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLZjZD57Oo
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv7OzCW4DH
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1s2YorTNh
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq7Fmca1GQ
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjhbPjatgn
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y9LjUl4P7
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzj4iqZ5GrO
546Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCKFAKyc1g
完。
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