日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxzOgxMcjz
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHrH23t2RH
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJDoTRkj1M
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KhdobN6qs
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmVLXkAkwP
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTh9tZAasiv
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOdPASqecV
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIZNTIco1y
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ohouVL7Zz
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAntZwpKto
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNpcB4vhHF
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfv1V8lw0E
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebrUoZmXkR
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VhEHgE8Fn
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgfca8FEr7
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXE3iFzv1U
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oQVe6JVCz
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxHdswa5j1
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdLZccqiDM
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTqTaiQ1pv
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ezaXGAmV0
「我哪知道。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXPCH2TB22
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aE6zKUW6u
「……說的也是。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvPK7hPTY7
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKR8TeO1Vv
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZkaAIegxN
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX6Sd0pYnG
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycttnC87xo
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3ueDEQBO7
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOl6DROr8t
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHubuoqMO2
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKJp1JLWVW
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9myip2Pjh
無法灑脫。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9edJageKLt
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UYMaaCEgA
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bB3wC3iGY
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdvU7skoie
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqP6UELCOc
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMAVIlIZBf
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbmVwGYqnO
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1bHlA4I19
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5KQKs8HrZ
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ircwYJoES
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B0NWQr5M5
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEFJU7cpAh
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIKyXIIIh0
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmDoY3RIDm
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNRnq4uIQh
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPM3VSxrBd
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtdqjjvwQO
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuUGjVeaHN
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6W8ifMrQC
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd44yx6ZG3d
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJ3UzfDrLt
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2UXOXqD39
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxms9tc9lky
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFzxaBlAOS
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw42KPWuuRq
「嗯。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8PAJpOxYu
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QMi9DAlMH
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSNvAJ4AAW
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMF3KABzsFU
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMW8oLxQEz
我還不明白。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2imasCJPO
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLp4JsoDUo
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPwpPm8h84
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu4bs88H5c
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus3RqWzuhd
「……沒有。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD77UHsvxcW
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWMNSIyRFJ
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz8BC8jqUB
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkWeDMkKAY
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfKPnWrU18
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqMJeikCaf
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS1M7KH7Rr
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBhSq6XWSe
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQuMtnRcT6
「妳沒必要忘記。」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNA3mCHFTT
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgHpWpyeRh
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJ2wfeQBL5
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVMaYAhKU2
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9CreSgUGY
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyDffgky5H
後來。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTqiOaxdg7
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvMtbzNTis
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHhYdspGE1
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLdaxoWsvm
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPY3DP9FOgR
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rbmRK2je9
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOGNWCfDA5
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoOvSRL01x
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjOihM7Vpg
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPNbW5PUo9
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVB57sSWAv
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOR5VNFZTfI
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡss10s2PH0Q
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MtXo1lEBO
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEWd7ZP8rZ
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3957WqyJuH
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvor7MWhTIH
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lPofqP4xz
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwh6dbqZFo
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cVjTwQB2C
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zSa4QINFx
516Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI5XNZHLjX
完。
ns 172.69.17.81da2
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