Chapter Six
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Sa ilang buwan na nagdaan, hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko siyang 'aksidenteng' nakita, at kung ilang beses kong piniling umiwas. I don't consider those accidents nor coincidences anymore. Given the fact that he lives right next to me, mahirap paniwalaan na nagkataon lang lahat ng pagkikita namin. Hindi ko rin naman masasabing planado dahil hindi naman ako sigurado do'n. Sa mga pagkakataong nag kikita kami, may mga panahong hindi kami nag-uusap kapag nagkakasalubong sa labas at may mga panahon namang nagagawa naming kausapin ang isa't isa.
Maling-mali ako ng akalain ko'ng sanay ko na siyang makita.
For the past few months, I found out things about him. Unti-unti ko ulit siyang nakilala.
Kilala pala talaga siya ng mga tao dahil sa taglay niya'ng talino at husay magtrabaho. When you search him online, not only there are many articles about him but also documentaries, fan arts, and a lot more, all came from different publications and artists. Isang article palang ang nababasa ko tungkol sa kanya and I don't plan to read more or watch any of the documentaries he's starring in. Because as much as possible, I am still trying to avoid him but because of our unwanted interactions, I am clearly failing.
And every time I see him, I can't help but notice how much he has changed. Ang dating mahiyaing bata ngayon ay kilalang-kilala na.
The thought made me form a soft smile on my lips.
Even if we knew each other the moment we stepped foot in this world, hindi ko masasabing 'yon rin ang umpisa ng pagiging magkaibigan namin. Siguro, kung hindi naging mag-kaibigan ang mga Nanay namin, hindi rin siguro namin makikilala ang isa't isa. He was always shy growing up and for all the times I've watched him secretly, I realized that it takes him a while to warm up to people. Hindi rin ako mali dahil natagalan din bago niya ako itinuring na kaibigan.
Sa tuwing dumadalaw sila ni Tita dati sa bahay, palagi lang siya'ng nauupo sa sala, naghihintay na matapos si Mommy at Tita mag-usap o sa kung ano man ang ginagawa nila. We were really young back then, he was five and I was four. At kapag wala naman siya sa sala, I often would catch him in the garden where he is busy in his own little world, full of sketch pads and colouring materials.
At a very young age, my mind was curious about everything. I was the type of kid who asks questions nonstop. Madaldal, makulit, I was that kid. Theo on the other hand was the complete opposite of me. He was the type who stays quiet and typically blends in the shadows whenever he got the chance to. Palagi siya'ng may sariling mundo.
It took me a while to approach him since he had an aura that makes people second guess their intentions. But little me didn't want to just keep it that way. I wanted to make him feel that he doesn't have to be alone whenever they visited our place or that maybe... I was just looking for a reason to start a friendship with him.
I still remember how my little heart jumped when he finally warmed up to me. That was the first time I saw him smile for all the times I've seen him and, that was also the time I noticed the mole under his left eye. It wasn't too visible but it's there, it added uniqueness on his overall appearance. He looked handsome and cute at the same time.
The day he broke his small walls was the day I developed a crush on him. And since then on, tuwing bibisita sila sa bahay, we'd both be in the garden running around or at the gazebo, him busy with his art materials while I was busy reading my books. Minsan naman, kung kami ni Mommy ang bibisita sa kanila, we would always hangout in his small art space or at their living room, where he'd kept some of my dolls so I didn't have to get one every time I visited.
Napailing ako ng mapagtanto ko ang mga naiisip, napapikit saglit na parang gustong pigilan ang sariling maalala pa ang iba. Hindi! Mali! That was a long time ago and those memories are meant to be forgotten, not remembered!
Right now, he's someone from my past that happened to be someone I see... often. Often than I anticipated it to be.
Napatigil ako sa pag s-scroll sa laptop ng biglang tumunog ang aking telepono. Its ringtone echoed in the quiet room. Lumawak ang ngiti sa labi ko ng makita ko pangalan ni Mama sa screen. Once I reached my phone, I answered the call as quickly as I can, almost dropping it to the floor because of excitement.
"Hi Mama!" masayang bati ko sa kanya. I can almost hear the smile that formed on her lips as she greeted me back.
"Venice! Nako anak, kumusta ka diyan?" rinig ko sa kabilang linya ang boses ni Kuya. "Ma! Hindi na 'yan bata noh!" sabat niya. I rolled my eyes after hearing what he said.
"Inggit ka lang!!" Mama's laughter served as music to my ears. "Napatawag po kayo?" tanong ko sa kanya.
Just like me, Kuya was an only child too. Hindi malaking kaso sa 'kin ang pag-aasawa ulit ni Dad matapos mawala si Mom. I knew she'd want him to love again, that's the kind of heart she owns. Besides, Mama never ever made me feel that she entered my life just to replace Mom. Although she needed to earn my trust, it was easy for me to give in because of how kind she is not just to me but to Dad too and for those that surrounds her.
"Wala kasi akong ginagawa dito," paninimula niya. "Busy sa work ang Daddy mo at itong Kuya mo naman, may dinadate na ata!" tumawa siya. "Kaya kung puwede lang naman, gusto sana kitang bisitahin diyan." dag-dag nito. "Miss ko na rin prinsesa ko eh!"
"Miss you rin mo Mama!" pagbati ko habang nakangiti. "Eh pero, paano po trabaho niyo diyan? Sino po magbabantay sa shop?"
"'Wag mo na problemahin 'yon Ihja. Ano, pwede ba kitang puntahan diyan?"
Napabuntong hininga ako ng malalim. It's past 3 am, paniguradong wala na akong masasakyan na jeep pauwi ng apartment. I own a drivers license but I don't want to buy a car since it'll only add up to my expenses. Lumaki man akong maginhawa ang buhay dahil sa suporta at pera na meron para sa 'kin ng mga magulang ko, ayokong i-asa lahat sa kanila ang mga problema ko. Kung bibili man ako ng sarili kong sasakyan, siguro hindi muna ngayon.
Sa mga nagdaang linggo, wala na akong ibang inatupag kung hindi magtrabaho. I worked on my days off too. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko but working kept me sane and if I don't work or at least move my body, mas mawawala ako sa sarili.
My heart desires to help people in need. Mahirap para sa 'kin ang hindi gawing personal ang trabaho lalo na kapag medyo matindi ang pangangailangan ng mga pasyente ko. There are times that I am willing to break the rules and be unprofessional just to help those in need pero kapag ginawa ko 'yon, mas hindi ko sila matutulungan.
That's why today, instead of resting and enjoying my day off, I've decided to roam around the area and help people who's in need of medical attention.
Kasalukuyan akong nasa isang waiting shed, naghahanap ng signal para makapag-book ako ng masasakyan pauwi. Pwede ko namang lakarin, wala namang kaso sa 'kin iyon pero dahil madaling araw na, delikado, lalo na't may bitbit akong malaking duffle bag na naglalaman ng pangunang lunas.
Pagod na ako, konti nalang at alam ko'ng bibigay na ang katawan ko pero hindi naman pwedeng dito ako magpalipas ng gabi. All I ever wanted today was to help since I own spare medications, medical tools, and much more. Ang katangahan ko lang ay naglakad ako buong araw, halos walang pahinga dahil ang dami ko'ng nagamot kanina. I knew many people avoided hospitals or never had check-ups because of financial issues but I never knew that there were too many! Mas nadurog ang puso ko nang makita ko ang mga tao kanina. They were so helpless until I came volunteering to check up on them. Hindi ko rin nagawang gamutin ang iba dahil hindi rin naman gano'n karami ang mga gamot na dala ko. Babalik nalang ulit ako kapag meron na akong sapat na gamit para tulungan sila.
I dropped my duffle bag on the ground when I felt its heaviness. Kanina ko pa itinataas-taas ang cellphone ko para lang makakuha ng signal pero hanggang ngayon wala parin. Zero bars. Umabot ako sa isang baranggay kanina at medyo nasa loob-loob ito kaya kaunti lang ang mga lugar na abot ng signal galing sa syudad.
It's almost 4 am, the hope I felt earlier disappeared. Mukang dito na nga ako magpapalipas ng gabi. I mean, it's not too bad... I guess? Ilang oras nalang at sisikat na rin naman ang araw. Hindi nalang ako matutulog dahil baka mamaya ay kung ano o sino'ng tao pa ang lumapit sa 'kin. Magtatago nalang ako sa sulok ng waiting shed at uupo mismo sa sahig para kahit papaano, hindi halatang nandito ako.
As I was bending down in order to reach the thick string of the duffle bag, I heard a car stopped right in front of me. Bigla akong napatayo. It was an orange suzuki, now parked in front of the waiting shed where I am in. I took a step back once the driver started to roll down the window of the passenger seat.
Shit, ano'ng gagawin ko?
I have nowhere else to go, tulog na ang mga tao ngayon at wala akong kasama. The only weapon I have with me is pepper spray and those used medical tools I carried with me!
Ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko but it slowed down immediately once I heard a familiar voice.
"Hop in," with just two words, I was sure that I knew the person who owns that voice. That sweet, deep, husky voice that hunts me down whenever I am having a good time sleeping! Pero hindi ko alam kung siya ba talaga iyon dahil hindi ko naman nakita ang mukha niya dahilan ng madilim ang paligid. I stood steady and didn't budge at mukang nahalata niya ito dahil rinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto ng drivers seat.
A tall figure stepped out of the vehicle at kahit madilim ang paligid, kita parin ang angkin nito'ng kaguwapuhan. The only source of light as of the moment was the dim street light that is located beside the shed and the head light of his car. He stood firm and tall, like those wax figure you see in museums.
"Sumabay kana sa 'kin." boses niya at ang makina lang ng sasakyan ang tanging naririnig sa paligid. With just four words, I felt my knees slowly becoming weak.
I was right, it's Theo.
After gathering enough courage, I finally managed to talk. I took a deep breath before talking pero mas lalo akong nagulat ng bigla siyang maglakad palapit sa 'kin. He stood in front of me, just one step away from where I am standing, staring at me in the eye—no, glaring at me as if I did something bad to him!
I felt shivers crawl down to my body as I stared back at him. Nag-iwas rin siya ng tingin kinalaunan at kinuha ang duffle bag na nasa paahan ko na dapat ay bitbit ko kanina pa. He looked at me once again before making his way back to his car, placing my bag at the back seat.
"What are you doing?!" inis na tanong ko.
"Sumabay kana sa akin." saad ng lalaki. He opened the door of the passenger seat and stood there, waiting, his hand gesturing me to step inside the vehicle. "Sasakay ka o ako mismo ang magsasakay sa 'yo?"
Hindi lang pala kuya ko ang nakakainis, siya rin!
"We're not close," ani ko. "Besides, I can--"
"Parehas tayo ng uuwian."
It took us about ten minutes before leaving that shed. Ayoko naman kasi talagang sumabay sa kanya pero dahil sobrang late na at delikado pa sa labas, wala akong choice. At tama naman siya, parehas kami ng uuwian.
Besides, it's not like he's a complete stranger to me.
"Seat belt." I stiffened when I heard his voice once again. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit pero bigla ko'ng ginawa ang sinabi niya. My god Venice, simpleng pag-suot lang ng seat belt hindi mo pa maalala?
I reached for it but that damn thing is stuck. Paulit-ulit ko itong hinila with more force after the other but it still won't budge.
"Ako na," bigla akong napasandal ng maramdaman ko siyang palapit ulit sa 'kin. He got so close that if I move my head, my lips would land on his cheek! Umiwas ako ng tingin, my heart beating abnormally that it's the only thing I can hear. Nagpigil rin ako sa pag-hinga at mukang nahalata 'yon ni loko dahil binagalan niya ang kilos niya!
"You can breathe, 'di naman kita sasaktan." he grinned and stared deep into my eyes then I heard a click. It was the seatbelt. We stayed in that position for good five seconds.
Ilang beses ba niya akong tititigan ngayon?! Tsaka bakit ba siya nandito? Paano niya nalamang nandito ako?
"Itulog mo muna," he said after securing his own seat belt. "Dalawang oras pa ang byahe natin. And I was in the area, working." he explained.
"Two hours?!" that's how long I walked?!
"Why are you surprised?" I shook my head as a response and turned my gaze to the window. Hindi ko na namalayang nakatulog ako... pero bago tuluyang lamunin ng antok, ang huling bagay na naramdaman ko ay ang marahang pag-adjust niya ng upuan ko.
Wala kaming masyadong interaction ni Theo matapos no'n. Tatlong araw na rin ang lumipas simula no'n. Papunta ako ngayon sa airpot para sunduin si Mama. I called Lola to let her know that Mama will come visit, mukang masaya naman si Lola sa nalaman niyang balita at sinabihan akong isama ko siya sa pagsundo kay Mama.
Kasalukuyang nasa elevator ako ngayon, naghihintay maka baba sa lobby. At dahil kasama ko si Lola sa pagsundo, hindi ko na kailangang mag book ng masasakyan papuntang airport. Sa harap ko nalang siya hihintayin dahil malapit naman na raw siya kaninang chinat niya ako.
When I reached the front of the building, Theo caught my attention. Hindi dahil nakita niya rin ako but because I saw him. He is accompanied by a woman, maybe around my age. Has long, silky, straight hair. She's wearing a formal attire, beige trousers matched with black, elegant top. Her clothes are paired with black pumps. Theo in the driver's seat habang 'yong babae naman ay papasok sa passenger side. I stared at them, maybe a little too long because I caught Theo looking my way. We locked eyes for a moment pero nag-iwas rin ako ng tingin ng marinig ko ang boses ni Lola.
Her vehicle stopped right in front of me blocking Theo from my view. Bumaba ang driver ni Lola para pagbuksan ako ng pinto. I smiled and thanked him before entering the vehicle. Nawala rin agad ang ngiti ko ng maalala ang nakita.
Binati ko si Lola but I shifted my gaze to the window once I was seated.
"Okay ka lang ba apo?" tanong ng matanda. Napatingin ako sa kanya at tumango bilang sagot.
I shifted my gaze back to the window.
Napailing ako. I tried to shake of the thought but it keeps on coming back. Minura ko ang sarili sa isip dahil sa nararamdaman.
Because why in the world would I feel... irritated?
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