Chapter Four
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"Can't we make a secret hideout?" tanong ko habang kumakain ng ice cream. He chuckled, his deep voice caught my attention causing me to stare at him.
"You and your silly ideas," paninimula niya. "Ang laki-laki ng kwarto mo tapos gusto mo pa magtago?" tanong niya. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Hindi naman kasi hideout 'yong kwarto ko," I said sassily. "Besides, it's no fun if it's my room." I lied. That hide out is not entirely for me, I want one for him so he has a place to go too when has nowhere to go.
Two, almost three days had passed. That hideout conversation was long gone, or so I thought. Akala ko kasi, ayaw niya ng sinabi ko. I mean, between us, I'm more of the sneaky type, him on the other hand, is the opposite. Gulat nalang ako ng bigla niya akong inaya sa isang bandonadong building malapit sa school na pinapasukan namin.
"Ano'ng meron do'n?" tanong ko sa kanya. He's holding me by the wrist, not tight, but not loose enough either.
"Basta, may ipapakita ako sa 'yo." ani niya.
When we reached the rooftop, a well built playhouse occupied the centre of the place. There were pots of flowers hung along the railings, kumbaga naging isang mini garden ito. A smile escaped my lips, slowly turning into a soft giggle. I turned my gaze at him and looked at him with amusement in my eyes.
"You built this?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.
"Two and a half days ago," he answered specifically with a proud tone.
"Yabang mo naman! Why didn't you tell me?" I started scouting the place. Hindi lang pala sa railings ang may mga bulaklak kundi sa likod rin ng playhouse. There's a path that leads to the entrance too. May small patio sa likod, almost like a real house. and it was painted with my favourite color, lilac.
Upon entering, mas lumawak ang ngiti ko. He made us a comfortable spot to lie on, of course, magka-hiwalay. Between that was a small coffee table na hindi ko alam kung saan niya nakuha. Pictures of us, from kids to present, were hanged on one side of the wall, my side. As if it's a mini gallery because of the way it is arranged.
"May kulang," reklamo ko ng maramdaman ko ang pagsunod niya sa 'kin. He looked at me confused.
"You don't like it?"
"I do, just, something is missing."
"At 'yon ay?"
The second time we went back on that hideout, I took my favourite plushie along with his. Prepared signs for our names the night before and added books.
"Ayan, kumpleto na." masayang sabi ko. "It looked like the place was only meant for me, now it's for you too." I added. "Thank you Theo."
"For?" He was staring at me with his hazel brown eyes.
Goddamn, those eyes. I'll melt if he stares too long.
Umiwas ako ng tingin. "For everything."
The memory stayed longer than it should have.
Even now, I can still picture it clearly—the lilac walls, the quiet laughter, the way that place felt like it was ours and ours alone.
But that was years ago.
Ngayon, ilang linggo na ang lumipas simula ng magkita kami sa hallway and ever since then, I became more careful every time I step outside my apartment. That day, I found out why the food stayed overnight outside his unit. Kasi nasa ospital siya.
Wala ba siyang oras magluto?
I was taken aback when one of the nurses called me. Bakit ba ako napapatulala these past few days?
"Doc, Kaiden is here for his check-up." I nodded as a response and immediately went to work.
He greeted me with a smile when I entered the clinic, I smiled back softly.
"Hello po Doc," bati sa 'kin ng Mama niya.
They left immediately after the check-up. It went well, Kai is one of my easy and sweet patient. Sa murang edad, hindi niya ako pinahirapan sa trabaho. Given the fact that kids around his age are usually scared to even step foot inside a hospital. Kaiden is a brave kid.
I finished my daily rounds after, habang pabalik ako sa reception para sana tanungin si Ruea tungkol sa isang bagay, dumaan muna ako sa washroom.
Nasa loob ako ng cubicle ng may mga nurses akong narinig na nag-uusap.
"Diba dito nasugod si Theo noon?" kinikilig na tanong ng isang babae.
"Oo bakla! Nakita ko siya n'ong araw na na-discharge siya. Ang pogi niya!" tili naman ng isa.
I rolled my eyes. Tsk. Ang iingay.
"Pero bakit kaya noh? Hindi ba't nakailang balik na siya dito?"
Ang chichismosa.
"Ewan, pero sa pagkakaalam ko, mahina daw ang puso niya." sagot ng babaeng makalas ang tili kanina. "Okay lang bebe boy! My heart is available for you~" sabay silang nagtawanan.
I paused for a second. Hindi totoo ang sinasabi nila. He has a weak heart, yes but he sure can function just as fine!
I stood there, still, debating if I should go out now or if... if I wanted to hear more about whatever they have to say. Pero hindi ko napigilan, napalakas ata ang pagbukas ko ng pinto dahil parang gulat at takot silang napatingin sa 'kin ng magtungo ako sa sink para maghugas ng kamay. They fell quiet, washing their hands as if my presence alone demanded it.
Tanging ang tubig lang mula sa gripo ang rinig sa banyo. I could feel their gaze through the mirror pero hindi ko sila tinignan. Talking about patients are confidential, lalo na't kung hindi nila hawak ang pasyente. I don't want anyone else talking about any of my patients, lalo na kapag ginagawa nilang chismis ang bagay na dapat hindi naman.
"If you're going to talk about patients," paninimula ko habang nagpupunas ng kamay. "Make sure you both are attending care to that patient, hindi pasenyte ng iba. Please be professional." I said before making my way out of the washroom.
Was I too harsh on them? Tama lang naman na pag sabihan ko sila diba?
Today ended quietly but it's far more tiring than any other day.
Everything went as it should.
I did my job. Saw my patients. Kept things professional like I always do, and yet, by the time the day ended, I felt drained in a way I couldn't explain—like I had been holding something in the entire time without even realizing it.
Hinihintay ko ngayon ang elevator dito sa lobby ng apartment building, though I live on the third floor, masyado na akong pagod para gamitin ang hagdan. I stretched my neck and use my free hand to massage a part of it. Masakit ang katawan ko, gusto ko ng magpahinga.
Ng makapasok ako sa elevator, akmang magsasara na sana ang pinto but someone stopped it just in time. A man wearing a black, fitted button down polo, topped with a bright orange vest, along with a safety orange helmet. Matched with a black trousers and boots. Hawak nito ang isang satchel bag na siguro puno ng dokumento.
We locked eyes as he entered the elevator. Umiwas agad ako ng tingin.
Why does it have to be him? Ang dami kong pwedeng makasabay na tao pero siya pa talaga?
I stepped aside, making more room for him. Looks like he needed more based on that big body of his.
Nakatingin lang ako sa sapatos ko habang naghihintay malakabas ng elevator. The air suddenly became thick that it's almost suffocating. I tried relaxing my body but I am as stiff as a stick.
Bakit ba parang ang tagal naman umandar ng elevator na 'to?
Wala akong balak makipag-usap o kahit na ano pero bigla kong narinig ang matinig niyang boses.
"Doc," he started. "Pwede ka namang huminga." dag-dag niya. That's when I realized that I've been trying to hold my breath since he walked in.
And worse... he noticed.
Gusto ko siyang tignan ng masama pero hindi ako makagalaw.
"I'll take the stairs next time." he said and after uttering those words, the elevator door suddenly opened and he stepped out, almost immediately.
I followed right behind.
Once I reached my door, taranta kong inilabas ang susi ko, my fingers slightly trembling as I tried to find the right one without looking back. I could feel him staring at me. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to make me painfully aware of every movement I make. I hurried, fumbling through my keys, but in my haste, I dropped it.
The metallic sound echoed louder than it should have along the quiet hallway.
Great.
Just when I needed to get inside my apartment immediately, this happens.
Napapikit ako saglit, trying to gather what little composure I had left before bending down to pick it up.
But before I could even reach for it, I heard a slight chuckle from behind me. Mahina lang. Almost inaudible. But enough to make my ears burn.
Why is he watching me?!
When I finally was able to open my door, I rushed inside and might've slammed the door.
What the fuck was that? Bakit ba ako apektado?
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