808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIsifu9sgo
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0vpQyT5tX
     For long minutes, I stroke Jessy's wet hair, trying to soothe his pain, his fears. When he straightens his face, he seems ashamed to have cried in my arms. Delicately, I wipe away his last tears, surprised that he lets me do it, and smile at him to reassure him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzCTwfCl0K
    We set off on our way back in torrential rain, yet we walk peacefully, savoring the fact of being together. I don't care if it rains as long as I'm with him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bgHe9E41c
    — Anyway, we're already soaked, I answer Jessy when he asks me if I want to run to get to his house faster. It'll be OK ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5Tb9EUDdL
    — Yeah, I think so.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnugIi8VRSw
    — Jessy, please promise me you’ll never let yourself fall into the void like that again. I got the fright of my life.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcPggb6cwa
    Hands in his pockets, he shrugs his shoulders and breathes deeply before telling me : 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHhxBwmj9S
    — Promise. Why do you care about me so much ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmcgCKV9BO
    His question makes my heart beat faster. I'm not ready to tell him the feelings he inspires in me. I have to analyze them first and try to find out what he feels. So even though I feel my cheeks turning pink, I answer him evasively.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ROpjzgI8j
    — Why not ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48I6ADEHsL
    — When people learn about AIDS, they turn their backs on me. This is why my mother and I came to live here. Even my father-in-law couldn't stand me living under his roof anymore.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUlyCZ0Wqz
    — There are morons everywhere, I whisper. Jessy, I like you. I'm not going to start ignoring you because you have a health problem.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uFpPbqcli
    — Thank you, he murmurs, pursing his lips. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean to be so rude.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZt4zsQg9p
    His unexpected apology really makes me happy. When Jessy stops telling me off, I see in him the boy I had guessed at first glance : A good guy to whom difficult things happen. I think that's why he always tries to show an angry face, he has suffered so much that he doesn't want people to perceive his fragility.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsayKfXzc6
    — It's forgotten. By the way, I met your mother. She seems very nice.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEraE8YM5H1
    Despite our slow walk, we already arrive in front of his house.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosoCTp8sfl
    — She is. Do you want me to take you home ? I can borrow his car.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsCphxYvT8
    — No, it is going to be fine. I don't want to get the seats soggy, I smile. See you tomorrow ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOwsuh8ptu
    I am happy to see him nod with a big smile. And as I walk away, I realize I've never been closer to him than I am tonight.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97y08m2hC0
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuP7s4Fs71
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWdeUH1N3z
    It's almost 11 p.m. when I get home, completely soaked. My parents are waiting for me, impatient and worried.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdP5UgeBrD
    — Finally, here you are, my father roared. Look at you, you're good at wringing ! 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBUcH0vxWG
    — Were you with Jessy ? My mother asks in her usual soft voice.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXx3wj0QDR
    I nod, shivering from the cold.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yJthizykv
    — We spoke with Mrs. Sutter at the meeting. She told us that her son had been missing for hours and that she had no idea where he might be. She was very worried about him, my father told me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9niMmEuLz
    — He went back home. How did the meeting go ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX8YlhY7mE
    — Start by drying off, we'll tell you later.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKvq6lup9V
    I head into the bathroom where I warm up quickly and quickly put on my pajamas, as well as a warm dressing gown, as I can't wait to see how the evening unfolds. I find my parents in the living room, where everyone, in an armchair, drinks coffee while waiting for me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdIpBysISc
    — So how did it go ? I said, sitting across from them on the couch.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQgKah84Ds
    — Difficult to say, my father grimaces. The principal had asked a doctor to come and answer the parents' questions. It calmed some when he assured their children were not at risk of breathing the same air as Jessy or touching him. But other parents are obtuse and want him to be expelled at all costs. They are simply scared to death, to the point of not understanding that AIDS is not caught like that.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4eLj6p9Re
    — Mrs. Sutter spoke, saying how much she loves her son and that there is no risk in sharing his life since she has been doing it for a year without problem, my mother added. She is a very dignified and courageous woman. She told us you came to see her.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHlLpCy0gL
    — Indeed, I was looking for Jessy.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaxdBqD8gM
    — Nina told us that you went looking for him after Chad’s visit. Did you find it ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARywyGaGcp
    — Yes, and as far as you know, it’s over between Chad and me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SNsoTSube
    Contrary to what I thought, my father doesn't seem surprised. My mother must have already told him about it. However, I don't like the look they exchange before my mother asks me : 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5RRQh3lgF
    — Because of Jessy ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqJbrKf6LD
    — Yes and no. Jessy and I are friends. But let’s say that meeting him allowed me to open my eyes to Chad and his little world. I realized that, contrary to what I believed, I am not in love with him. I like him a lot but in a friendly way.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjzHDjMYfV
    Once again my parents exchange this strange look which seems to mean that they are not at the end of their trouble with me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZ1wLWunk0
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYx5Ga5cmCF
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtZ8mLn0dD
    The next morning, when I arrived near the school, I saw Jessy waiting outside on the sidewalk.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fy7V1fbQF
    — Hi, how are you ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzAij8L4hg
    He puts a hand to his heart.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0EicKzQsR
    — Oh, you scared me ! 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6ngwjs3iU
    I burst out laughing.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ3D8mTVmz
    — That’s for the scare you gave me last night ! 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQ4E7YOtMy
    — It’s fair game, he smiled.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxSXEzQTWK
    He stares at the large white building without taking a step towards it. Since I stayed in his arms the day before for several minutes, he no longer intimidates me as much, and this impression of knowing him for a long time has strengthened. I saw his fragility behind his anger, I saw his despair, but also his strength.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbU5TRxiONe
    — Are you planning to come to class today ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SEuWwxuUz
    — I don't know. After what happened yesterday...and then this meeting.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyth4tVCWR
    He huffs and then purses his lips, visibly uncomfortable.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHuOg5x1y5
    — Did your mother tell you ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA3AY7sn43
    — Yes, apparently the parents can't do anything against me, but there is always the possibility that they will contact the academy and file a complaint to have me fired. In fact, I wonder if it wouldn't be better if I gave up... 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTvea95Tyl
    — No way ! 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1ptqdsPOP
    Jessy looks at me, surprised.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wOHtHcCnz
    — We'll go together and everything will go well, you'll see.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQtbcSOkbL
    — There are looks that are sometimes hard to bear, he admits to me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgqDPPrK5t
    However, I notice that he accompanies me towards high school.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AG8v2me3V
    — I believe that, unfortunately, you can never please everyone, so give a chance to know you to those who want it and forget the morons.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4Y4whxghc
    We enter the main hallway, students turn to look at us as I continue talking so that he focuses more on my voice than on the eyes focused on him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOAlrMwYOR
    — With time, there will be those who will realize who you really are and they will come to you, as for those who continue to criticize you, act as if they don't exist. They're the idiots, not you.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1mD66Flsy
    I meet the gaze of a tall guy, named Tyler, who grimaces when he hears me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmzLwzeqUa
    — Yes, complete idiots, I said again in a louder voice.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALha7PTmeh
    Jessy gives me a grateful smile.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldiQTwPUPd
    — Oh, it’s getting bad, he murmurs.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6N6EcTnaA2
    I follow his gaze and see Chad striding towards us. He stands in front of Jessy and, after a few seconds of hesitation, offers his hand.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVvEVLiV5M
    — I'm sorry for yesterday. For the fight…and everything else. I should never have listened to your conversation and above all I should never have repeated his secret. I'm really sorry.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmL22LwVMT
     Jessy hesitates for a few seconds then squeezes his hand, nodding.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCmQ0YJUPk
    — Thanks.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXn984vGUZb
    His eyes move from Jessy to me, he doesn't seem to know how to behave around me anymore.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNcRwefaSN
    Around us, several students observe the scene. Chad is the most popular boy in school and I suspect that after this reconciling handshake, the attitude of some people will change.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaenV4nFPUd
    He taps Jessy on the shoulder and says — See you later and walks away.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCvtAq9cUk
    — It’s weird that Chad came to apologize. Did you ask him to do it ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJugr7oc2Bf
    — No, he did it alone, but you know, he’s like that. He is impulsive, but quickly regrets his outbursts... I feel, more than I see, Jessy looking at me in profile.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMErcVG2m7
    — What ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGBNBxo7NT
    I turn my head towards him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXAJBO6kry
    — Why did you break up ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVYeiXGSkS
    — We are too different.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEGGjD2P64
    I shrug my shoulders as if it were obvious.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFTLgVNG0N
    — And are you okay ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmU0ycFJOu
    I see in his eyes that he really cares about me, it warms my heart.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKL0t1YSJsN
    — Alright.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DxKsVA0ra
    A small smile appears at the corners of his lips.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv05g2bBcOs
    — I know you don't like Chad very much, but erase that little smug look. (I smile in turn as the bell rings for the start of classes.) We're going to be late, come on.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDiotnQAfL
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTkR8kCc94
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMculF2cDu
    In the days that followed, things calmed down at the school. I can't say that Jessy goes unnoticed, but he is seen less as an outcast, which is already a small victory. At school, I was always the model student, collecting good grades. The super serious girl who has the teachers on her side. When I dated Chad, who is the most popular guy, I became popular and other girls tended to take their cues from me. So, even if there are a few who look away and whisper as she passes, most of the students are starting to accept Jessy. Since the evening on the bridge, we have spent a lot of time together. I prefer to be with him rather than with my pseudo friends : Pearl and especially Amy, who has turned her back on me since Chad and I separated.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1wvkNl5RQ
    Jessy has become my best friend. I can talk to him about everything without being afraid that he will judge me; however, he always gives me his honest opinion.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qhTuemF70
    Jessy lived surrounded by family and friends before learning of his HIV status, but he told me that when those close to him learned of his illness, everyone turned their backs on him and, overnight, he found himself abandoned. Only his mother remained near him. By moving to Millisky where Mrs. Sutter found a job as a secretary in a bank, she hoped that her son would finally be able to return to a normal life.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96oLKuky7N
    The more I get to know him and the less I want this solitary life for him, it's like a kind of mission that I have set for myself. I may not be able to save him, but I can make him smile again. Also, I force him to accompany me to the cinema, to the theater, to fast food. Jessy complains, protests, sometimes drags his feet, but in the end, I always make him give in.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDEsUYWIfa
    — You've lived locked up enough like that ! » is my key phrase to convince him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIReRIzqrs
    He then rolls his eyes, huffing in exasperation while his cross— shaped earring swings to the rhythm of his breathing. Finally, he looks at me with a little smile which alone symbolizes my victory.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVUuELr2gd
    I am myself with him. We have a lot of tastes in common, we laugh at the same jokes, we talk about everything and nothing without ever getting tired of it. And when I'm not with him, he haunts my mind. He is the first person I think of in the morning when I wake up and the last in the evening before I go to sleep. In a few weeks, it has invaded my life and I hope more than anything that it continues as long as possible.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3sTvyoabE
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     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7Ccme08Cx
    — Hello Mrs. Sutter, are you well ? I say happily as I enter the living room, accompanied by Jessy.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmLnFeQFrx
    Over the past few weeks, I've been spending so much time at the Sutters' that it feels like my second home. I really like Jessy's mother. Just by his look, we perceive his kindness and his strength. I am always welcome at their home and even though Jessy can come to my house whenever he wants, I understand that he is more comfortable in his environment.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW7jZzQivu
    — Good Meg and you ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95fASyK5ac
    — I’m fine.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsewTTdCMc
    Elise gets up while Jessy goes to turn on the television.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXd1rKyTN5O
    — What movie are you going to watch ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrUcmUfcuk
    — Ghost ! With a big smile, I show the video tape I brought, asking him : Are you staying to watch it with us ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98KrTUc6O3
    — Unfortunately, I can't. I have not finished completing a loan application for a client. I’m going to go lock myself in my room with this file, she sighs.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWObXduu3cm
    — Good luck, Mrs Sutter. 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwRgkRehlL
    She takes a few steps away before turning back to me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx5tW7SiIK
    — Meg, for the hundredth time, call me Elise.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpU0MxWbXF
    — I'll try, I promise.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zCwERP1T1
    His mother leaves the room, leaving us alone.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIbvCwcsf8
    — Pop corn ? Jessy asks me. I only have salty, I don't like sweet.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pqPde4piH
    — That suits me very well.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YtbHNb9HJ
    Once the popcorn is in a large bowl, we sit on the sofa in front of the television. Almost two hours later, I overcame my fear that he would send me away for daring to lean my head on Jessy's shoulder. To my great relief, he just smiled as he continued to watch the film. Now that it is ending, I can no longer contain my emotion and shed many tears.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9l1Y8mmceg
    — Don’t make fun, I said, seeing him laugh discreetly.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2rP0M3fIx
    I stand up and stretch before wiping my eyes.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4ilCeFdlY
    — Patrick Swayze is too sexy, I comment.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO286RkOUYU
    — Demi Moore is not to be outdone, he sighs, lowering his head.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XZmmjXZAK
    He suddenly seems sad, which worries me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5nfnS0ehN
    — Isn't that okay ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZN8TUpGj23
    — Yes, it’s just that… Do you believe that the afterlife exists ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcnJuM1TU7
    Still sitting on the couch, I turn to him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQZnPnb3Lw
    — I think yes. However, I don't know if it's like in this movie.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ348fXfXXCO
    He adopts the same position as me, we find ourselves face to face.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cBOSrFmUf
    — If that’s the case, I’ll make sure to let you know when I get there.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RSevnQTRQ
    I wasn't expecting this response which took me completely by surprise. New uncontrollable tears flood my face. Reality suddenly reminds me. When I am with Jessy, I forget his illness because he is him, the boy I love with all my heart even if he knows nothing about my feelings. But there, faced with the virus, I find myself facing its imminent death. It’s a horrible thing that I try not to think about, as if that could prevent it from happening. I know this is stupid and despite all my efforts, AIDS still remains in the back of my mind. But hearing Jessy talk about his departure is upsetting. I would love to tell him that I am in love with him and that he has no right to leave me, ever. However, this is one of the subjects that I cannot discuss with him as I am sure that he would send me away again. He needs support, so I'm content to be his friend, secretly hoping that one day he'll realize that I mean more to him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFGlQMIRSp
    — What do you have ? He is surprised.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHXpv04oAr
    — I don't want you to die Jessy ! 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeUdfLVaq2
    I burst into tears as I threw myself on his neck. Immediately, he hugs me back.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHG6nfUYes3
    — Don’t cry, he whispers in my ear. I don't like seeing you sad.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJZIV3DKwO
    His heart beating wildly against my chest reminds me that he is still very much alive and that as long as that is the case, we must not lose hope.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJDLuE3hW3
    Staring at him, I detach myself from him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8uxQEoUjZ
    — You're going to fight to stay alive, aren't you ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT1mimAsIs
    He strokes a lock of my hair that falls to the side of his face while observing me attentively. He seems to weigh the weight of his words.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucToVnefSF
    Finally, he nods in agreement.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKY6RQN0Cpo
    — I have confidence in the future and in medicine. They will find a cure, it’s just a matter of time, I resume with confidence.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RzPwDXHhs
    — Meg, we've already talked about this. You can't save me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIoPUJlqfZ
    He lowers his head but I have time to see his eyes fill with tears.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3iEvartgH
    — I know... For the moment, but I can keep hope, I smile, wiping away the last tears that linger on my cheeks.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE8nnBpg4a
    Mrs. Sutter enters the room at this moment, breaking our moment of complicity.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagHyMzkHyx
    — Megan, are you crying ? She worries, looking at us in turn. And you too ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLio2gRNLHx
    Jessy and I exchange a look before bursting out laughing under the surprised gaze of Elise.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZ1fDvyYwb
    — I’m going to go home, I announce, leaving the sofa.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kEgKUYLgK
    — I'll take you back.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG5kQMFjqI
    — No, it is going to be fine. I need to get some fresh air.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NDqLe3A4q
    Above all, I need to expel from my body this disorder that I am trying to control, and also to silence my fears about its future. Kindly, he will get me my coat. After putting it on, I turn to him and take him in my arms. For a few more seconds, I want to feel him against me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWyQ2mvBvs
    — Do me a favor, hold on to life, I whisper in his ear.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aAODDvgpY
    Emu, he acquiesced.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBKo4lLrS4
    When I leave the warmth of his arms, I see Elise watching us from the kitchen, she wears a little knowing smile, which makes me understand that she knows perfectly well how I feel about her son.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVvpQCQvKA
    — Good night, see you tomorrow ! I throw before going out.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfBrZPT7Ep
    I take a few steps while staring at the dark sky, inside I promise myself to do everything to save Jessy's life.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0RX07UztZ
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIgMbZLZze
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnGwgrGUPh
    Since Jessy stubbornly refuses to tell me about his virus, during the days that follow, I go around bookstores looking for medical journals. At that time, when AIDS was terrifying the population, I had hoped to learn more, unfortunately the articles were still rare and the possible treatments even more so. Everyone repeats the instructions to follow in order not to be contaminated but none of them informs me about the solutions to overcome this cursed disease.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2KEliRMdp
    — What is all this ? My mother asks me when I return home, my arms full of magazines and books.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CkV4rrMk6
    — I'm finding out about AIDS, I admit, placing my load on the kitchen table.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMpEnZ4Iua
    — Meg, I know you care about Jessy but... Don't waste your life for him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hnzTso0Sn
    My mother's words felt like a stab to the heart.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uw4DixM94
    — That's not what I meant, she continues, realizing my fear.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7UTZJtlwJ
    Hand on her forehead, she shakes her head as I grab my books again, determined to put an end to this discussion.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzZr1nfQ5W
    — Megan, you are 16 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUShICSFjX
    — And not Jessy, right ? ! I get angry.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPnjZ5JRPU
    My mother looks down.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg2lwVJCqA
    — That's not what I said. I just think you're too young to have all these worries. You should be able to enjoy your teenage years completely carefree.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0fUM6prRH
    — I would have liked it too, Mom, believe me I would have preferred that Jessy wasn’t sick. But he is and if I can help him in any way I will be there for him. I realize there's not much I can do, however, maybe one of these books will talk about a treatment and I can tell Jessy about it.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGfU9KuGfw
    My mother nods weakly.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwaVWw67pS
    — I just ask you to be careful. Don't get too involved.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35K9OgGidi
    — It's already too late for that, I emphasize. If it was Dad who was sick, wouldn't you do what you could to help him ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvM3w8KPZw
    I turn on my heel, ready to leave the room when my mother asks me : 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHh412VNY9o
    — You love him, don’t you ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtFxaoFx5t
    I don't answer. I lock my gaze on my mother's, trying to make her understand all the feelings that are inside me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5Wd2SWSc6
    — Please don’t tell Jessy about these books, I ask her before going out.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwfuXtXkKl
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIip8AfBxU3
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0Iy8IPBRO
    — Good evening, Megan, Mrs. Sutter calls me from the kitchen when I arrive at their house.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByd4jjqNnI
    — Good evening.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4occeVtZsQ
    — Jessy hasn’t come home yet.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOZEzJl8Dj
    I look up at his mother with worried eyes. It's 8 p.m., classes ended several hours ago.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HX0gZZOEa
    — Don’t worry, she reassures me. You know that his doctor advised him to go to the AIDS center, there was a meeting this evening. He had no desire to go, but I think it will do him good to talk to people who are going through the same thing as him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzm5B1H1Ys
    — Did he leave there complaining ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIfDUZBFGw
    — You know him well enough to know that he complains a lot, she said, smiling.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH54zwb3aLi
    — When he is with me, he is rather...808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55zfQeRzFY
    Hearing the front door open, I don't finish my sentence.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK7vnytXBw
    — Yes, but you are special to him, Elise whispers to me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9wyniTwDE
    I remain speechless, wondering what she means by that.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tNlaKLPxS
    — Sorry to be late.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RJyWg4Oal
    Jessy's face is tense, he seems upset. The evening could be long if he remains in this state of mind.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHiBAgD7lB
    — How was it ? His mother immediately questions him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkI8J9rom8
    Jessy glances at me quickly before responding coldly : 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSucGhNgMG
    — I don't want to talk about it.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83NOdBTupA
    Mrs. Sutter looks at us in turn before announcing that she is going to watch television in her room so that we can watch the screen in the living room. Jessy walks around the bar and goes to help herself to some fruit juice.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXLhEGGZRG
    — You want some ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlKR8Mx25f
    His tone is less cold, but still full of anger that he tries to contain.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqLLbFZaYe
    — Yes, thanks.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3oPG73GPc
     He purses his lips before asking me : 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmZyOXKuCB
    — What movie did you bring this evening ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIULHTZNPKq
    The week before, I had brought the filmGhost which caused us both to end up in tears. This time, I chose to take a lighter one, but still with my favorite actor. Proudly, I take the video tape out of my backpack and show it to him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDNheTuNKj
    — Dirty Dancing ! 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdekxJUDvwx
    He rolls his eyes, but I sense that he is holding back a smile.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0h57HkRVWZ
    — You and your Patrick Swayze ! I know you think he's the most handsome guy in the world, but your obsession with him is starting to turn into an obsession.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7CYjY8yyH
     I pretend to look shocked, which makes him laugh.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi894YqFrZ
    — It’s true that he’s hot, but in my ranking of the most handsome guys, he only occupies second place.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhpmOHNdrp
    — Oh, my God, he whispers with a hint of despair. Which other actor are you planning to pester me with when you're done making me watch all his films ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHLzAP1ORV
    Jessy sighs, making a face. His good mood has returned, which makes me happy. I don't want to ask him about the meeting; If he wants to talk to me about it, he will do it alone. I just want to take his mind off things and see him smile. I get up to turn on the VCR while he puts away the bottle of orange juice.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMATpYZw09
    — No others, I promise. For me, the hottest guy isn't an actor.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsETxNbkPS
    — Ah good ? Who is it ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVAcUeWlJo
    He comes to join me on the sofa, frowning.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXY88HY53nH
    — He’s someone I see every day.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH2GvPk3bx
    The movie starts and I shut up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my friend racking his brain to figure out who I'm talking about.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqDzdn34vC
    — Your father ? he asks after a few minutes.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoZqxqr46m
    Without taking my eyes off the screen, I shake my head and smile. It amuses me to see him searching.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgL3mYFjiQM
    — Someone from high school ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lC4GybgMf
    J'acquiesce808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjweVTMkrc
    — Chad ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8pAQYUwC5
    A hint of anger and disbelief filters into his voice.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6YszvAvMK
    — No. Jessy, do you want to watch the movie or tell me all the names of the guys at school ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4kOdaWiBc
    — Sorry, but no matter how hard I look, I can’t see who…808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6vLuQPiYF
    — It's you.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnxNyhtG9m
    I didn't mean to tell him, it just came out, and now I feel myself blushing as I keep my eyes glued to the television. The words have barely passed my lips before Jessy chokes on swallowing and starts coughing. He gets up to go drink some water.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9Zl8ZAfC9
    — Well, that makes you feel, I said mockingly, pausing the movie.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGX3mNnCUc
    — You got me, he says from the kitchen.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC3Kz58NZ3
    I turn around on the couch to look at him.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWe8k1WDYs
    — It’s the truth, Jessy, I’m not making you walk.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt79kcsUytc
    He comes back to sit next to me on the sofa. His cheeks are red as he places a kiss on my forehead.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgiSewBHso
    — It’s nice of you to try to cheer me up. I love you.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9xwMyOxbp
    That's not what I'm trying to do, I really mean it, yet my heart immediately races : he adores me. 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5GrLNMNas
    — Is it true ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9Mhv05RM7
    — Of course. You're my best friend, Meg.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUUsc89MHt
    Oh… Friend ? My heart calms down quickly.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKecmhqfSP7
    — Aren’t you in good spirits ? Is it because of the meeting ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY94MxnUbi
    Your mother told me about it, I add in front of his frown.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9Uhe59Jpc
    — Yeah… it was depressing. Hearing all these patients talk about their fears… it brought me back to my own.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBXSKEnpLz
    — Did you speak with them ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutG4Csssng
    — No, I listened to them. It’s strange to arrive in this center where I don’t know anyone and where they invite me to confide.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxatfGaRsXT
    — If you want, next time, can I accompany you ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iHhTMM6yS
    I suggest, but I already know the answer.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vAGGckXgP
    — Non ! 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmCGef0Y3A
    His tone is harsher than I thought. However, he softens very quickly.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6IxFxmSBf
    — That’s nice, but no. I don't want you to come into this part of my life.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVu4Mzccuq2
    — For what ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbV9uk53zO
    Anger reappears in his eyes, he lowers his head.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyRMspcRTH
    — Because you are too important to me for me to drag you into this world of illness with me.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuFpntdI8s
    — Jessy… 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZ9aet9wku
    — No, Meg. I'm willing to give in when you force my hand to leave this house, but when it comes to AIDS, I won't change my mind, he said firmly, turning his gaze back to the television.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF15C65CD4j
    — OK as you want.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJUAevjU2Q
    I sigh as he resumes playing the movie. After a few minutes of silence, he glances at me and whispers : 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGOLr4c2Ts
    — Are you mad at me ? 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CN8lru7J9
    I can't help but smile and lean my head on his shoulder like I've gotten used to doing when we watch movies together.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirfcWtEhc0
    — No, it’s your choice.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbyLh4Pub1
    He places another kiss on my forehead. I whisper to him without taking my eyes off Patrick Swayze : 808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu47I5lEm40
    — Me too, I like you.808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ64VUKozyX
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCzUel5yq3
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZdvTAxHj1
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDjQlSxQYZ
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF52NpFu1lo
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vXQNZ5cxV
     808Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3LYSx96f6
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