— No, I don't feel like it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjx6HOxTN3C
— But yes, it will be fun.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUek5tIGhv
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc55tYOABc0
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodaz4TCRsU
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8DXjmAxh1
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48OS0tmbhS
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WRiVFuRjy
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0L5E9OigC
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYnv6xnXum
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBjBvoGPlX
I can see by his expression that I have a point.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbTH4iu019
— Hello, Megan.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTdrrbziHk
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfWfgF5sx8
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKNDonUs87
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FoQ7MhRoT
— At the high school Halloween party.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Zp3Wbkxbr
— Good idea ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgDtVRxgEH
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJePIj6vlR
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWsjsN8s8u
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSR0jTxzR8
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9QPQrANAR
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RhPI6qe8C
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmjVV2OZK7
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yxQ6N3aOr
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEbqlop62S
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkDdEuLhmE
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVijTP9lRr
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5X2Jf3qWi
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWYYc1F7Eu
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7q4tHZysIt
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrRcksdUDC
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3yirhfgl6
The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhzJMuY8oZ
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzM47ZPlka
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cEBbaPcDQ
Immediately, I grimace.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7rAKKwHsi
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAXYOrzDpr
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MZMD1QXkR
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpC0IsP0rl
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdZVmw1s2c
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmwEeS5UHK
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAMG4dZMGr
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq20dH4dfBY
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBiGVLs3OS
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4zKXHrfAz
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJUopQxgF0
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyewPgNNayL
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i7P7z4nwG
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLGpLOxJpv
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6IrcgxvZj
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L1ZDMlpe7
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73HEEm02by
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYr97RoInEu
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2Ikw49zjK
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcv4S1KfXcB
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDOBgTJjtZ
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyuLxghDqr
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlOa38NdO8
— Ah good ? What ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahWG03Yg3P
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBmqeToz67
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGlHVt2NHY
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBBRd6J43G
— No, but I have never been in love.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63K0WHozkc
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68hMX7JHJ0
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4ksWfbYnm
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCvzwPWHwg
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNxrwy14QX
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzzCZPeDqH
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xgPcT4tiD
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdToYoecm3
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3izZy4O6R
— Is my dress okay ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpSHwGYRMQ
— You are very chic, admire my father.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfi75OcpiV
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX4OBu9UPx
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58qMBbtHBM
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TopPd46tP
My mother laughs.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhcYc9qOGJ
— That’s definitely your idea ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFI3x21h4K
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS7evKXEpx
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6yEdR7DLX
— Yes, he’s great ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfffApTB0M
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrekcCfHcxX
— We are just friends.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9GgQ6KcZR
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVC078KerLb
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErn9IaUTXo
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGcYsRU2mK
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yyo8nudz7
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOx9YRtRoPL
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWBOb0znTQ
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUo6mBdKv5C
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEzhvBN8R0
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZGnq94RY0
— I go ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Wr63SUvZc
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwg1BO9Potl
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mqnqe8eaJ
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MPsoojZs8
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwEoFU5v0w
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAH9uuQtGO
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IGdogAjmx
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3kNQA6kie
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoTEsL7QJl
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1FAklriA4
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqL2Ut7TyJ
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyte2kIlOua
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vf3UBhHXa
We burst out laughing.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbSwp2Gpv8
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDlNMcLDXJ
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡux2rN80ZDF
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3mfGMkl03
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O7qg3G4tx
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106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05yoQYdQ6m
Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ftPMfMoRW
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmXeRYD56p
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYYQxbFbIF
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdy1GKiCbK0
He is suddenly serious.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapVd1ZEKgs
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKpbgGZ0D6
I want to tell him, but I hold back.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhwMbYFkBi
Instead, I answer him : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyCeqR1LbS
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzG3h2CVm1P
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJI4itI4w7s
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1zhUgARKI
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKvFGP2mcu
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnmRB4m4bZ
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqYBejHIVB
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfcbE52j7H
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7LplBAkpI
— Who wants to start ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGmlGwvsfY
Jessy and I exchange a look.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡottMa3WsMU
"Iron, Meg."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHwkPVSAe6
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66Y88kXKQs
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNSRSuYFCf
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8m0OO7H9t
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckvvaykNT6
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSlvI1MqyK
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYRFaiH4S3
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBHsr2Ejsu
— Thanks.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopffTUYquO
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWt66hDaJX
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoW9Y6pnfd
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhrGhnUrnS
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNUnZx42vj
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yWSzDAkOk
She turns over another card : the Hermit.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupW2bwsAG0
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjxMiNnmDZ
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeenQzFUPmh
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahMdwDqXZn
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqw1G2aZjd
She turns over the last card : the World.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjBPsbYmi2
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLuffVqvMM
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbg8jQAABWe
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rTJieeFDQ
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVApNZqsrW
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkaBC8FzFE
— Jessy, are you okay ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySbTiSKnpF
— Yes, very good.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmYPnWf0Wx
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWTh1pyjya
He stops and turns to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmVoRHS12P
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4ksMM8UTR
— It wasn't that clear to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL35JO53kyI
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfmHxCyujO
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPDirUxM7P
My reply makes Jessy laugh.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6hiHRphJC
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7H9THgZ8AL
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTrYYW1mHg
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4d7E6vPfI
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYjtmrcFvU
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX16umhFaw
— You are thirsty ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybzdHY590R
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcI6YDjQtd6
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxxbe0kiHY
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DzhlYhGNQ
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhibAcdQabi
— Come Dance.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKUmI0yewX
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdzGJGGF5q
— I thought you didn't dance ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaErbhONVvt
— I never said that.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh5l8oO29X
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIQ1gkMRWf
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnmcpOX3qK
— What is…106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEdsYwAe7B
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04qk2nhmDQ
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVY6qjWpg8d
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8Y1p9VSOn
We lean against a car.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVCaW94MYc
— Why are you shaking ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTjzCqNKnP
I question him timidly.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOUijBocWJ
— I don't really want to talk about it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBT7BSn7URB
— But you are livid ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTuaK9PJ5T
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmokxU4LOM
— Agree as you like.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyEeRyeKJq
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnpCUaxks9
— Shall we go back ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡec1gTqnPys
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh7ih4PMTW
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qVvu8f4aH
— All that ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeMnHX9M3M
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJV2M27vAeD
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaJoGxf6in
Jessy turns to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUK72ojgwDh
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyJj7KTg6c
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKeBMFAr4h
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bZfSYNVuD
He nods silently.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMCuQBse1R
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU0fuBzDf8
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSX3hQmntG
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrf0DdEYjD4
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIOaP8NtVE
A black car stops next to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOMTDp5fck
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscJDB9PICV
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx82CWnpqUO
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmhhf2g3ok
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rOiNChfLW
— Where are we going ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1N72zBFmT
— It's coming ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRjc71FnCs
— At the cinema ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNoA0Jo3Lv
— Non. 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKqeQvz6d4
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U70xs7cfu
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABOnG6qyXl
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sWi1ah7U0
— Your parents won't be worried ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6KlPZvm6s
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVElamTQSE
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JF0afDTAq
Still want to come ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfhe41PwNt
He gets onto the highway.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqvrWf8UiD
— Totally ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxfn2mltXs
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2XOpvLDk1
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeURhnX63kl
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAMfOTcdbp
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaPmioonMr
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyWe3qJK9S
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxYkJWoS0U
— Is this where you lived ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO0JZ4s0hD
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHXDJ0CsLm
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0m7NWX5T9
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2E5dcv1yk
— What ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJbiZzEBTy
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnOFyxdnlu
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlkr9XQm9O
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZNEYfJXWT
— Come on, let’s go.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KAtKkSCH1
I remain stunned.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TiuVXMaFj
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlS5KqDn0eU
He stares at me, his face frozen.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFH30ZorcC
— I am scared.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHe0HoC4wb
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4ZmkRwstI
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL4hQeJzyL
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8jDfr2ler
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N9YCfa8Nj
— Did it go wrong ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡso8l9yMEvC
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CXsNpogX0
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VsGeKC3YE
— Haley died five months ago.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRT1BKadWc9
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVurTn0t9DY
— Is that all his mother told you ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEBDe4Q4mw
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfo6MXYEktD
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdX1ozxMDrW
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hmeuAdFx8
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwo8uPITeK
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20lYA4ycNa
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1rELwfR2b
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmo4kRWuig1
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjRpDzFI9y
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmqRw692uF
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnObNZqudcA
Soon his fist is bloody.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AXvIOVOon
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphevjcK1xI
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLJdGGMxJ8
— For what ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fz47TStyf
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNFWisyUZ3
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡervcza2jNe
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdc9T8OSIz
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdsHfnEWV7
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsy4TwLXoR
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0a3INy6tSZ
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl3OYt7miV
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NIhb1bGAC
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdOYKyQWJ2
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyjSP85suf
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FzRjsxQEf
— Why do you feel relieved ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraz55jvOJS
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFIuHyuO57
— For nothing, forget it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIxLZDdtcX
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8CVYP6J6K
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7GTWnTplC
He looks at me, incredulous.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZHvWW3V1P
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxY1H2QJLV
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkDCacx5Lh
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzDJ6OdfND
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb0JJbqN6n
— I'm not going back with Chad.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUZJRdzJdb
— It's true ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6zZ2vkYrd
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegOgbIzJZq
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtcmepjrFY
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYvA2bJmsz
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQaJepsRT9
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrUiSLd2oJ
I fiddle with a button on his coat.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WEDttACgF
— It's true.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHCWk9TleG
He purses his lips and says : 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfo7NeRmQk
— Do you want to go out with me ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMURRWtGxWy
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczT6ybzQUi
Jessy gives me a big smile.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ77T0L6mfh
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKgfCi4wm2
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNEehyE7mx
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOJZz80iiP
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxg1RYr5b7
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWgLDKkVlS
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHDaABIr5o
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ihvf7USlB
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDI0vOsHqG
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7K5wJ15ZL
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFyLNIHUG3
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZipMAzbuoI
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb8QoyPSDT
— Where are we ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWR8htGLt3P
— Come with me.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfj2VUvYfbQ
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR9cRFC0D8
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLLbS2dkhr
With tears in his eyes, he nods.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrWDyYxbcB
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXGMFDJfGK
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKfk1MBJ1S
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hkOHE1Gs8
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15QU3UzQI1
— No, it’s meant for you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTe4ECKPHja
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDp0rIo5o6B
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLObXNXOjKz
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Jessy, 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fKq56ZEIq
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If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKg82KoHeF
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AyZPXBAZ9
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i21gHdv2H
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyE6sPvDNN
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmYnCqJS2y
106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hMgBMxVew
Haley 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfOvsF7bfS
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04B4SBXTdJ
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfZBAzk2JQ
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7GF5l44Lu
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASIs3xa8G6
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDAbEGXQ9G
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLk1U78KjNw
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BUjy8dQvO
He holds out his hand to me. 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO1Rv9CXfu
— With pleasure.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZWZrE2Jmu
« I’m on your side 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DjtJ17aw1
You know I’m not the enemy. » 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVv4LZnDrw8
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48EwX2Df89
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3CbXQdMD7
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybyHvy1xdU
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhBbLb1cPa
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdj0F2gH1rY
« I’ll hold on to you. » 106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRsvDsLI4W
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvBWtyIj7L
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWfKbRe67c
and then Add to home screen.