在很久很久前，大概在中一的時候，林蓁喜歡過一個男生。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1QTSts10K
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxAyMQoSbu
當時，她比廿一歲的自己還重四公斤，還戴黑框眼鏡，臉上還有一些痘痘。比起廿一歲，十二歲的她自然是不懂打扮。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcsRaOS3ff
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAMdgG8sat
那個男生，暫稱他為Y先生，是她的鄰座，平時二人會互相問功課，她文科好，他理科好，因此才打開話題。他和大部分男同學一樣，小息時也會圍在一角，通常玩BS卡，或者約放學後打LOL。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bcKEUFRTA
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6yF4odh8G
原本，二人一直不熟，林蓁對Y先生無感，畢竟她平常只和女生玩。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fteWtgyM5
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyreRPf2hv
直到，第一次她月經來潮，當時在上課，她只感到下體濕濕的，站起來後，則被後桌的男同學大聲說：336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhWjNqOoAi
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxaLrMStm4
「你條裙有血！」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2SdieDhmi
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrB9r5N6ea
白色的校裙上有一撻小小的跡，還未凝固結塊，像一朵剛開的花。然後，其他人也跟著起哄。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkULJONy3qn
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEnrdscDuv
「大個女啦。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjf4wrWaDls
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFSH3DCn9o
「哎吔，快啲坐返低。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UQj2Byrur
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZ4qQZi0ng
「去廁所清理吓。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zsRJP2EQy
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVoSZAA6fb
她腦袋一片空白，無法反應，對於自己竟對月經不知所措——更加不知所措。她沒有郁動，等到Y先生脫下毛衣，圍在她腰上，遮住裙子。他拍一拍她，著她去洗手間。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ6P3VDvlP
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSHxR4eKW3
自從這一次，她就感到自己好像喜歡了Y先生。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vbWoHV5tE
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOXSZmjZSc
當時心思單純，對一個人有意，就寫在臉上，明明晃晃，無遮無掩。Y先生的笑話不一定好笑，但她一定會笑，而且是盡力地笑，咧開嘴角便見不夠整齊的牙，還會嬌嬌地眉眼彎彎。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6oFQ1uS2l
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuT3EB5KPfK
早上，她先到校，便自願替他到儲物櫃拿當日要用的書。一年一度的社際運動比賽，她會買飲品、小食給他。總在製造偶遇機會，遲他幾秒出課室去洗手間，然後假裝在路上一同回程，碰見，傾多兩嘴。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOAdePweQa
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQrSV6Inoi
好友說她的心意很明顯，她沒有說什麼，只是怯怯地睜大眼，再四處張望，確定身邊沒有人聽見這段對話。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHTiOYQMaq
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5O8DlMxpa
終於，有一天，放學後，她知道Y先生會留在課室，便打算一起坐在座位上靜靜溫習。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4XfC9vfnL
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzHdkTnnPP
但到她折返課室，聽見他和同學的對話——336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1Ylb5IgBX
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEbD0NWIuM
「林蓁係咪同你有路？好殷勤喎。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhhTYtyNR2
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUBLPcPtAf
「咪係囉，又睇你比賽，又送水又送糧！」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSgarvTW9Z
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Xdc64QRJY
「仲有啲眼神好痴纏，一唔講嘢就笑住咁望你。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4JLvOctwc
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zJZRQV0fp
「咦～實係有嘢啦。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88rbRgNAPn
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NliADumvt
她聽見，竟然有點開心。理論上，她在暗戀，可是愛一個人至世上無人知曉，卻是委屈的。她更加期待Y先生的反應。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNTftlIaZ6
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthJoTeknSg
只聽見他說：336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaFTMdaAbu
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzNV987RSL
「吓！咪玩啦，豬扒嚟，我先唔會鍾意佢。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mxNZcGeSY
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7khpMimpUu
林蓁心下一沉。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLH5xllThd
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JIQctC3y3
「你哋幾親㗎喎。」同學說。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6dVLbAPXY
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MNxjmmiJb
她又想，會不會是他口硬？336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJfEzs24If
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q8mKMstXZ
「佢係都要痴埋嚟咋嘛，呢啲豬閪，我鍾意佢就真係柒頭啦。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYP5VQXbyl
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqccTNaX6MJ
「哇！睇嚟你係柒頭！」同學說。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3B9f13PqK
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx35VEnmOIy
「咪再講，再聽到佢個名我要洗耳。戇鳩，我無可能鍾意佢，寧願打一世飛機。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDTmWz1fEg
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbqxp8TXJr
「好過去自瀆啦。」同學說。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0B1UgKw8a
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe2dPFYsyB
林蓁和那天月經來潮一樣，無法動彈，臉上也不能反應任何表情。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoIgbDTcMS
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5k0dCnHhRP
最後，她站了一會兒，轉身離去。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2E9CHePGqH
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pkgdFd476
/336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlkaELCuKO
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmYCKCURUe
翌日，林蓁確實去了買燈泡，但沒有回家。讓父親一人多留在家一天吧——彷彿是一種小小的報復，偏偏只懂得在這些小事上用力。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjYjXwlfFX
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4mAiDmGmF
她去見了周立沖。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2TezwgoRk
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYxWeYoZrG
一見面，他便說：「今晚不如我煮，你想食咩？」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0q86J44IN
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6mU64wREW
三年前，二人一起，他也常常為她下廚。他這樣說，令她感到二人又回到從前戀愛時。不知道為何，世間男子千千萬，而她明知他不必然是良人，卻在他回來時洶湧澎湃，難以自控地傾瀉。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfddSQfTD1r
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcivMstvsvI
「無所謂。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBbVuQvVmr
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikFlF3pB9N
她說「無所謂」，是真的無所謂，並非心裡還有其他盤算，希望別人猜中她未講的話語。畢竟她只需將食物放進口便能填飽肚子，有什麼好要求更多；何況，有人願意煮飯——她已經很久沒有吃過住家飯，對上一次，又是他煮。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmnyXPTc9q
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrYxB8qYiQ
家裡沒有飯吃。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3ObMYEJXv
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXTfAMZ068
「都知你又會話無所謂，咁我話事啦。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggeyVBPZ2b
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p1bP0Izb7
「你煮咩我都食。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UELEip1iN
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiK02i2VWb9
「傻瓜。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxkjPTEepq
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBUSRXWLlx
他摸摸她的頭。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvktKSxEoUa
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVM60RMmu2
每次，她都對他的溫柔心動，最初，還會不懂反應，但後來便習慣，臉色自如。能夠和他走到今天這一步，她還求什麼。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKzWxRVOo8
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmJlW1zHO7
如果真的有辛苦的時候，也是她自尋的——336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4uu1PTSIa
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUhpTHImP1
譬如，她是因為喜歡他，才會無法離開這段關係；但他不是，若然情傷已癒，哪需異性的溫柔。他若真的喜歡她，最初又怎會捨棄，或者，現在又怎會回來，由她療傷。可是，即使已有清晰認知，她總想到：反正，青春也是要浪費的，除了自身可以發展的事，感情上，不是花在這個人身上，就是另一個人，倒不如，在遇見更喜歡的人之前，將愛傾瀉到他身上。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyw3GObUn7I
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgPSwWQf1g
「快啲煮嘢啦，我好肚餓，嘻嘻。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pjO2qMhaQ
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRBCAceMdo
「不如食咗我先。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yvv6DkNYy
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueWOcVIBu2
「唔要你，成身臭汗。」336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1aNmOJNSF
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7SfOKTMcD
可是她又要偽裝成，其實不是非他不可。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZGd67AaeA
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUrbKfMh8W
愛時時談論「無論如何」，而她的便是：喜歡他，不過又允諾他隨時離開。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TkfKax4rx
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkX9J91quj
她日夜恍神，反覆在腦海練習有一天，他會遇見愛人或是靈魂伴侶之類的東西，她故作鎮定地點點頭、應應嘴，又有一把畫外音著她好好管理顫抖的臉，不要露出濕潤的聲息。久而久之，她便以為，自己已被好好訓練過，可以接受悲痛的離散。連夢也時時出現他，再時時失落。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfu7XWjo9o
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPLVOOThx9
不過，幸好，現在他在。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqY9O5DBgIS
336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2eshkBRKd
心聲太吵鬧，她只能確保自己不要突然發瘋，苛求堅定地被愛。336Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi6KDZHd44
然後按「加至主畫面」