在很久很久前，大概在中一的時候，林蓁喜歡過一個男生。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUO85SWsp5
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP24DCW70q2
當時，她比廿一歲的自己還重四公斤，還戴黑框眼鏡，臉上還有一些痘痘。比起廿一歲，十二歲的她自然是不懂打扮。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmxDRZPxj0
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jAKOmDGOa
那個男生，暫稱他為Y先生，是她的鄰座，平時二人會互相問功課，她文科好，他理科好，因此才打開話題。他和大部分男同學一樣，小息時也會圍在一角，通常玩BS卡，或者約放學後打LOL。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlBAgE0DsH
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCkTd5R06I
原本，二人一直不熟，林蓁對Y先生無感，畢竟她平常只和女生玩。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtCTSIEWXr
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YTzXAGHwY
直到，第一次她月經來潮，當時在上課，她只感到下體濕濕的，站起來後，則被後桌的男同學大聲說：518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7yWoXKozJ
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHyXtycewA
「你條裙有血！」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuwe2eQsge
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfrGogxmDQ
白色的校裙上有一撻小小的跡，還未凝固結塊，像一朵剛開的花。然後，其他人也跟著起哄。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl62lVTq0xf
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOymovWnEqg
「大個女啦。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7pA1kpEHN
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXn843k5xr
「哎吔，快啲坐返低。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinbtVvvqbo
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTdPV6EpUM
「去廁所清理吓。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7i8SH0YC2
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzEY0uoD8S
她腦袋一片空白，無法反應，對於自己竟對月經不知所措——更加不知所措。她沒有郁動，等到Y先生脫下毛衣，圍在她腰上，遮住裙子。他拍一拍她，著她去洗手間。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNiB0lx772
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡad6FvVbq2c
自從這一次，她就感到自己好像喜歡了Y先生。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNSdRYWSCw
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzCPOARrz0
當時心思單純，對一個人有意，就寫在臉上，明明晃晃，無遮無掩。Y先生的笑話不一定好笑，但她一定會笑，而且是盡力地笑，咧開嘴角便見不夠整齊的牙，還會嬌嬌地眉眼彎彎。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0Y0XKKI3H
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh12mvXfdm6
早上，她先到校，便自願替他到儲物櫃拿當日要用的書。一年一度的社際運動比賽，她會買飲品、小食給他。總在製造偶遇機會，遲他幾秒出課室去洗手間，然後假裝在路上一同回程，碰見，傾多兩嘴。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwl0KHd0Ft2
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mK2RHzRIO
好友說她的心意很明顯，她沒有說什麼，只是怯怯地睜大眼，再四處張望，確定身邊沒有人聽見這段對話。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyxGGljd4j
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JtfWNmYvF
終於，有一天，放學後，她知道Y先生會留在課室，便打算一起坐在座位上靜靜溫習。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwVosgB9D6
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbr3maW6Vd
但到她折返課室，聽見他和同學的對話——518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRYwcCyOQU
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRV4pxNpXm
「林蓁係咪同你有路？好殷勤喎。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV6n4uM5YA
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyn2xNNLEB
「咪係囉，又睇你比賽，又送水又送糧！」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcbSz7T6dY
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDyUhOhq6T
「仲有啲眼神好痴纏，一唔講嘢就笑住咁望你。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QzDLYx3EN
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSWhOMFDmQ
「咦～實係有嘢啦。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AFdMsbzFs
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuLtcRuuLy
她聽見，竟然有點開心。理論上，她在暗戀，可是愛一個人至世上無人知曉，卻是委屈的。她更加期待Y先生的反應。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FF3HsPNiw
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4YeZar0oI
只聽見他說：518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpwMl0Rnlb
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUO1ySkIfA
「吓！咪玩啦，豬扒嚟，我先唔會鍾意佢。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleQgL1pMYm
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHAjZv7kFO
林蓁心下一沉。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjDVnPn40d
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg7vwQCs1p
「你哋幾親㗎喎。」同學說。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamO09JoAZ9
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHg1IkHo0P
她又想，會不會是他口硬？518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eiaoa7wE9
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoEcFam7ZG
「佢係都要痴埋嚟咋嘛，呢啲豬閪，我鍾意佢就真係柒頭啦。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcMxk1O4ik
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao2YqvuknN
「哇！睇嚟你係柒頭！」同學說。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvueQ588Skk
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3jfMyYN32
「咪再講，再聽到佢個名我要洗耳。戇鳩，我無可能鍾意佢，寧願打一世飛機。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEMyDd3EKa
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbc3rYUhVw
「好過去自瀆啦。」同學說。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0FoHca2BD
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGiu22soWm
林蓁和那天月經來潮一樣，無法動彈，臉上也不能反應任何表情。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZLlrhn7On
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YUm7LTAcp
最後，她站了一會兒，轉身離去。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiO2tnfqb0H
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqLLqvNzPS
/518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRx7vAkFMw
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2q1uRswJTd
翌日，林蓁確實去了買燈泡，但沒有回家。讓父親一人多留在家一天吧——彷彿是一種小小的報復，偏偏只懂得在這些小事上用力。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc2UjgHf28
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmabh2EKykd
她去見了周立沖。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88iLB2vHyi
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGbcGBRZ0P
一見面，他便說：「今晚不如我煮，你想食咩？」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCmJJJj6Th
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzvLOg3hK5
三年前，二人一起，他也常常為她下廚。他這樣說，令她感到二人又回到從前戀愛時。不知道為何，世間男子千千萬，而她明知他不必然是良人，卻在他回來時洶湧澎湃，難以自控地傾瀉。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64tdeOvBOU
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGb0hKixpZx
「無所謂。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKjBgNTeTD
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ahrX5gyVJ
她說「無所謂」，是真的無所謂，並非心裡還有其他盤算，希望別人猜中她未講的話語。畢竟她只需將食物放進口便能填飽肚子，有什麼好要求更多；何況，有人願意煮飯——她已經很久沒有吃過住家飯，對上一次，又是他煮。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBnlRkvdNb
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOf4BlRM3J
家裡沒有飯吃。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqp61IjPzlm
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeykDCIJ2NI
「都知你又會話無所謂，咁我話事啦。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGPN2mP6Bi
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLs09pbkfD2
「你煮咩我都食。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPjAcaQCdo
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCouHBg44b1
「傻瓜。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnQgZKL5Zf
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfw16i3DWA
他摸摸她的頭。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBg3eCkdmR
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2D7rdECGG
每次，她都對他的溫柔心動，最初，還會不懂反應，但後來便習慣，臉色自如。能夠和他走到今天這一步，她還求什麼。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKUSIGv8tQ
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzprUzZHm5s
如果真的有辛苦的時候，也是她自尋的——518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetouw9uaZ6
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lINWcczlz
譬如，她是因為喜歡他，才會無法離開這段關係；但他不是，若然情傷已癒，哪需異性的溫柔。他若真的喜歡她，最初又怎會捨棄，或者，現在又怎會回來，由她療傷。可是，即使已有清晰認知，她總想到：反正，青春也是要浪費的，除了自身可以發展的事，感情上，不是花在這個人身上，就是另一個人，倒不如，在遇見更喜歡的人之前，將愛傾瀉到他身上。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPihlfwuxij
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMzyuTVIPw
「快啲煮嘢啦，我好肚餓，嘻嘻。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0fbo9f6E7
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ccgnFwEVP
「不如食咗我先。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1SfxGv4Ne
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMWQbNsvoU
「唔要你，成身臭汗。」518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLqOS3DVdT
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv7zY0wZ1r
可是她又要偽裝成，其實不是非他不可。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzz0mAyS5i9
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlcAtcTOB1
愛時時談論「無論如何」，而她的便是：喜歡他，不過又允諾他隨時離開。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQoOS27Nt4
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡug3s49LLHF
她日夜恍神，反覆在腦海練習有一天，他會遇見愛人或是靈魂伴侶之類的東西，她故作鎮定地點點頭、應應嘴，又有一把畫外音著她好好管理顫抖的臉，不要露出濕潤的聲息。久而久之，她便以為，自己已被好好訓練過，可以接受悲痛的離散。連夢也時時出現他，再時時失落。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoldjvz3IAm
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4anjrBTMe
不過，幸好，現在他在。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvLwrbR87d
518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6XUCXIdv4
心聲太吵鬧，她只能確保自己不要突然發瘋，苛求堅定地被愛。518Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQtxDuxkGC
and then Add to home screen.