在很久很久前，大概在中一的時候，林蓁喜歡過一個男生。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWmrrdYiak
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpR6623ZFZ
當時，她比廿一歲的自己還重四公斤，還戴黑框眼鏡，臉上還有一些痘痘。比起廿一歲，十二歲的她自然是不懂打扮。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyxA4xremD
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zl3vOck3D
那個男生，暫稱他為Y先生，是她的鄰座，平時二人會互相問功課，她文科好，他理科好，因此才打開話題。他和大部分男同學一樣，小息時也會圍在一角，通常玩BS卡，或者約放學後打LOL。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlAr5dCndd
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0zxTJTvKX
原本，二人一直不熟，林蓁對Y先生無感，畢竟她平常只和女生玩。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbTmZrllfu
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSe5A2304ma
直到，第一次她月經來潮，當時在上課，她只感到下體濕濕的，站起來後，則被後桌的男同學大聲說：293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZJDS2SxcE
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmitzl7e6X
「你條裙有血！」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZgVid62gu
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLjLKVwPuN
白色的校裙上有一撻小小的跡，還未凝固結塊，像一朵剛開的花。然後，其他人也跟著起哄。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmREcvBMbfY
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfunBlUNJ6i
「大個女啦。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSPUv1JY2j
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZPVXGjXL6
「哎吔，快啲坐返低。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbpdjPezzc
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuugopm0st
「去廁所清理吓。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmijbpR3srs
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx1Qeu6FJS
她腦袋一片空白，無法反應，對於自己竟對月經不知所措——更加不知所措。她沒有郁動，等到Y先生脫下毛衣，圍在她腰上，遮住裙子。他拍一拍她，著她去洗手間。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5oUd4H9L8
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI9RRWRm8p
自從這一次，她就感到自己好像喜歡了Y先生。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIazqgr4Y7
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqM0pbDjRn
當時心思單純，對一個人有意，就寫在臉上，明明晃晃，無遮無掩。Y先生的笑話不一定好笑，但她一定會笑，而且是盡力地笑，咧開嘴角便見不夠整齊的牙，還會嬌嬌地眉眼彎彎。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd7xkL59dS
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPUMBqVZ8s
早上，她先到校，便自願替他到儲物櫃拿當日要用的書。一年一度的社際運動比賽，她會買飲品、小食給他。總在製造偶遇機會，遲他幾秒出課室去洗手間，然後假裝在路上一同回程，碰見，傾多兩嘴。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIagYPOkT18
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qbDZ6mY7O
好友說她的心意很明顯，她沒有說什麼，只是怯怯地睜大眼，再四處張望，確定身邊沒有人聽見這段對話。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbdxcRauPE
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaqWVTnVB3
終於，有一天，放學後，她知道Y先生會留在課室，便打算一起坐在座位上靜靜溫習。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccKLAtyqmq
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnRqnQw1OQ
但到她折返課室，聽見他和同學的對話——293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AutiRlbJP
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QCtuV5vkr
「林蓁係咪同你有路？好殷勤喎。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsudSgyOguk
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsbOOEXZdX
「咪係囉，又睇你比賽，又送水又送糧！」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K1P0e4uph
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wToNeA2Cv
「仲有啲眼神好痴纏，一唔講嘢就笑住咁望你。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyhdtv06OM
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHLMV3SMUy
「咦～實係有嘢啦。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44UTmeayci
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03CI8Gj1I6
她聽見，竟然有點開心。理論上，她在暗戀，可是愛一個人至世上無人知曉，卻是委屈的。她更加期待Y先生的反應。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6yMw3XWas
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGZ6ZpO7oE
只聽見他說：293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakXzFF2h7J
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIVakx3Srd
「吓！咪玩啦，豬扒嚟，我先唔會鍾意佢。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBF0kicj5n
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuBzg1jBZC
林蓁心下一沉。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfetfY9oRUH
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fFTGXNL5l
「你哋幾親㗎喎。」同學說。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXJGx3ebZP
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg20PRRcOsz
她又想，會不會是他口硬？293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJLzmhLUui
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Qx33OIm0S
「佢係都要痴埋嚟咋嘛，呢啲豬閪，我鍾意佢就真係柒頭啦。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW9ZpFayMC
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dhnBtuUqv
「哇！睇嚟你係柒頭！」同學說。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLnGmU0ine
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4koQILfyF
「咪再講，再聽到佢個名我要洗耳。戇鳩，我無可能鍾意佢，寧願打一世飛機。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KefaSx24J
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HjFnFUBGu
「好過去自瀆啦。」同學說。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7NkdDivri
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn2dqumzia
林蓁和那天月經來潮一樣，無法動彈，臉上也不能反應任何表情。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHLg7fs9Oh
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡux1BtGC0GX
最後，她站了一會兒，轉身離去。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuj1dG1PHTF
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW15h4xjyzt
/293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1FpuO4wPn
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQspxZHpGv
翌日，林蓁確實去了買燈泡，但沒有回家。讓父親一人多留在家一天吧——彷彿是一種小小的報復，偏偏只懂得在這些小事上用力。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz77qfvBt4h
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbguSY4Cw9
她去見了周立沖。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK30eFsK1nL
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvKvmDU2S5
一見面，他便說：「今晚不如我煮，你想食咩？」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6rUIno2jo
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqUeR0aQ2Z
三年前，二人一起，他也常常為她下廚。他這樣說，令她感到二人又回到從前戀愛時。不知道為何，世間男子千千萬，而她明知他不必然是良人，卻在他回來時洶湧澎湃，難以自控地傾瀉。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwM0Cem1Vs
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUdGGWZnRA
「無所謂。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHYZpVT0eA
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfrcvP3XTO
她說「無所謂」，是真的無所謂，並非心裡還有其他盤算，希望別人猜中她未講的話語。畢竟她只需將食物放進口便能填飽肚子，有什麼好要求更多；何況，有人願意煮飯——她已經很久沒有吃過住家飯，對上一次，又是他煮。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZ1qSf30kz
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3D0LaEMa7
家裡沒有飯吃。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhueYDasKE
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4WihVUWnJ
「都知你又會話無所謂，咁我話事啦。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77lyEq3zTc
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiz2b0wpQL
「你煮咩我都食。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmJxQehzIP
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3moZsHqwRZ
「傻瓜。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQTgu2XFF0
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHu40QnKfwz
他摸摸她的頭。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwUmqu6QPX
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV5XG6cOOs
每次，她都對他的溫柔心動，最初，還會不懂反應，但後來便習慣，臉色自如。能夠和他走到今天這一步，她還求什麼。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY76wjyhb4U
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3s3tdP95Zg
如果真的有辛苦的時候，也是她自尋的——293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7rQ3tuuym
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11fNFwFaWU
譬如，她是因為喜歡他，才會無法離開這段關係；但他不是，若然情傷已癒，哪需異性的溫柔。他若真的喜歡她，最初又怎會捨棄，或者，現在又怎會回來，由她療傷。可是，即使已有清晰認知，她總想到：反正，青春也是要浪費的，除了自身可以發展的事，感情上，不是花在這個人身上，就是另一個人，倒不如，在遇見更喜歡的人之前，將愛傾瀉到他身上。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaA0IjH4U28
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9osz4ENXjv
「快啲煮嘢啦，我好肚餓，嘻嘻。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Pvpospkc4
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNM0wJ6pO5
「不如食咗我先。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiVLwGKXbR
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFmUjd9nvO
「唔要你，成身臭汗。」293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqOwxmMK9a
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEx0eVjN7I
可是她又要偽裝成，其實不是非他不可。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZoDgAGEiw
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA1U7f6r9r
愛時時談論「無論如何」，而她的便是：喜歡他，不過又允諾他隨時離開。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKF06cU04J5
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDTtT98KA3
她日夜恍神，反覆在腦海練習有一天，他會遇見愛人或是靈魂伴侶之類的東西，她故作鎮定地點點頭、應應嘴，又有一把畫外音著她好好管理顫抖的臉，不要露出濕潤的聲息。久而久之，她便以為，自己已被好好訓練過，可以接受悲痛的離散。連夢也時時出現他，再時時失落。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4K0sjSHJT
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8HlNwI8iK
不過，幸好，現在他在。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBlEWzAan1
293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A9hNw2MPD
心聲太吵鬧，她只能確保自己不要突然發瘋，苛求堅定地被愛。293Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8rqgDkBgS
然後按「加至主畫面」