在很久很久前，大概在中一的時候，林蓁喜歡過一個男生。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT7mb8ck4E
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe09BxvFhzg
當時，她比廿一歲的自己還重四公斤，還戴黑框眼鏡，臉上還有一些痘痘。比起廿一歲，十二歲的她自然是不懂打扮。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6nRfdaRTz
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZEivHSUJO
那個男生，暫稱他為Y先生，是她的鄰座，平時二人會互相問功課，她文科好，他理科好，因此才打開話題。他和大部分男同學一樣，小息時也會圍在一角，通常玩BS卡，或者約放學後打LOL。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNg5oJo1ET
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMe6qp4fo7
原本，二人一直不熟，林蓁對Y先生無感，畢竟她平常只和女生玩。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM3FVfeodL
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHLBSwVQy9
直到，第一次她月經來潮，當時在上課，她只感到下體濕濕的，站起來後，則被後桌的男同學大聲說：315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1zGeeZsIp
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4xCLrGK4e
「你條裙有血！」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDSUBkHlai
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvmaToCXjM
白色的校裙上有一撻小小的跡，還未凝固結塊，像一朵剛開的花。然後，其他人也跟著起哄。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7grdIBABrB
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQQ7LixjJn
「大個女啦。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsanLKcW9N
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFgyOUiXlJ
「哎吔，快啲坐返低。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfotwmQ117M
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37T73M5uOu
「去廁所清理吓。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgE7SUbzuC
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSok7030OYi
她腦袋一片空白，無法反應，對於自己竟對月經不知所措——更加不知所措。她沒有郁動，等到Y先生脫下毛衣，圍在她腰上，遮住裙子。他拍一拍她，著她去洗手間。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXJHBb8YUz
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHZ9db0b2Y
自從這一次，她就感到自己好像喜歡了Y先生。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0h835BEVzv
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKqbBoVF6T
當時心思單純，對一個人有意，就寫在臉上，明明晃晃，無遮無掩。Y先生的笑話不一定好笑，但她一定會笑，而且是盡力地笑，咧開嘴角便見不夠整齊的牙，還會嬌嬌地眉眼彎彎。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gps7Lv4wO
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMPZW5z1pR
早上，她先到校，便自願替他到儲物櫃拿當日要用的書。一年一度的社際運動比賽，她會買飲品、小食給他。總在製造偶遇機會，遲他幾秒出課室去洗手間，然後假裝在路上一同回程，碰見，傾多兩嘴。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMGrwjmYge
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjzjSXTI3J
好友說她的心意很明顯，她沒有說什麼，只是怯怯地睜大眼，再四處張望，確定身邊沒有人聽見這段對話。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRm8W6mkqHs
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoTLDqsbpm
終於，有一天，放學後，她知道Y先生會留在課室，便打算一起坐在座位上靜靜溫習。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAGNG9tFd1
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ6J3h3W6a
但到她折返課室，聽見他和同學的對話——315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrH7iYR3uQ
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoHkSq04CB
「林蓁係咪同你有路？好殷勤喎。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTzQSeYp7B
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dEYXb9Zwr
「咪係囉，又睇你比賽，又送水又送糧！」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlMCJvfzjW
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJMpIQpLWy
「仲有啲眼神好痴纏，一唔講嘢就笑住咁望你。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WCbc4HnW0
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOL6aST4gQp
「咦～實係有嘢啦。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlp9LUdEycV
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr3s1g6HTv
她聽見，竟然有點開心。理論上，她在暗戀，可是愛一個人至世上無人知曉，卻是委屈的。她更加期待Y先生的反應。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqz1nagBJG
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7t8BW2LRP
只聽見他說：315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXMUlilMiD
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHND3bp1q6
「吓！咪玩啦，豬扒嚟，我先唔會鍾意佢。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAwwEJXbL2
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuGxvSp2ap
林蓁心下一沉。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDYQEKW17r
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UfkZYj1DH
「你哋幾親㗎喎。」同學說。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fJR3B4Cn9
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwA7EvBbc4g
她又想，會不會是他口硬？315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKuldtb8Kr
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFynNxXhE2
「佢係都要痴埋嚟咋嘛，呢啲豬閪，我鍾意佢就真係柒頭啦。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSH4OpvEZT
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc69Q4Ysae
「哇！睇嚟你係柒頭！」同學說。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ztrJ8jTpz
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIbn5mOrWQ
「咪再講，再聽到佢個名我要洗耳。戇鳩，我無可能鍾意佢，寧願打一世飛機。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XjIEtIV5M
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKySNEOsOd
「好過去自瀆啦。」同學說。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGei6SUER2
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZU8qhOoJI0
林蓁和那天月經來潮一樣，無法動彈，臉上也不能反應任何表情。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLsmqCZ5ud
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuqW0WSgcW
最後，她站了一會兒，轉身離去。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaG291wvaj
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4LLlIOJXY
/315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Cnto5DsUT
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0052REz0o
翌日，林蓁確實去了買燈泡，但沒有回家。讓父親一人多留在家一天吧——彷彿是一種小小的報復，偏偏只懂得在這些小事上用力。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPMf7BqIPU
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNbcyR1Y2N
她去見了周立沖。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5YZs96isk
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSMVzucwVv
一見面，他便說：「今晚不如我煮，你想食咩？」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsGcnLg5TJ
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGTW6yKgP2
三年前，二人一起，他也常常為她下廚。他這樣說，令她感到二人又回到從前戀愛時。不知道為何，世間男子千千萬，而她明知他不必然是良人，卻在他回來時洶湧澎湃，難以自控地傾瀉。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKb8MUDWfi
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrewYrowct
「無所謂。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNj7KfbTZq9
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgVQTc6pMj
她說「無所謂」，是真的無所謂，並非心裡還有其他盤算，希望別人猜中她未講的話語。畢竟她只需將食物放進口便能填飽肚子，有什麼好要求更多；何況，有人願意煮飯——她已經很久沒有吃過住家飯，對上一次，又是他煮。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaufM5mY8mq
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MF1WZepq4
家裡沒有飯吃。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FcOTapjtX
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWc6xlIswLX
「都知你又會話無所謂，咁我話事啦。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoTZznoaPA
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rgZypswhM
「你煮咩我都食。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNw6wk0G6w
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDqLs9Ujxs
「傻瓜。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepZF2a6APF
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Y8zg48DQp
他摸摸她的頭。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSBhQEzAty
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUJH11r8dJ
每次，她都對他的溫柔心動，最初，還會不懂反應，但後來便習慣，臉色自如。能夠和他走到今天這一步，她還求什麼。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotFSQ0wBWq
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6GFLSOvsp
如果真的有辛苦的時候，也是她自尋的——315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjnxSEWnJk
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0NQbx2wDz
譬如，她是因為喜歡他，才會無法離開這段關係；但他不是，若然情傷已癒，哪需異性的溫柔。他若真的喜歡她，最初又怎會捨棄，或者，現在又怎會回來，由她療傷。可是，即使已有清晰認知，她總想到：反正，青春也是要浪費的，除了自身可以發展的事，感情上，不是花在這個人身上，就是另一個人，倒不如，在遇見更喜歡的人之前，將愛傾瀉到他身上。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1MaDoSKGL
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7QG3lMtNa
「快啲煮嘢啦，我好肚餓，嘻嘻。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kCJsZMar1
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7j0JXqWU8N
「不如食咗我先。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYhquWuYTk
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3b0kCKxqoO
「唔要你，成身臭汗。」315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpNW2BaVBp
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbVWXUFBBf
可是她又要偽裝成，其實不是非他不可。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNjDtVrCNc
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBSDYXxfr3
愛時時談論「無論如何」，而她的便是：喜歡他，不過又允諾他隨時離開。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkCahoLAGK
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDa7EJhDbY
她日夜恍神，反覆在腦海練習有一天，他會遇見愛人或是靈魂伴侶之類的東西，她故作鎮定地點點頭、應應嘴，又有一把畫外音著她好好管理顫抖的臉，不要露出濕潤的聲息。久而久之，她便以為，自己已被好好訓練過，可以接受悲痛的離散。連夢也時時出現他，再時時失落。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvwsm7Olsz
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoFdvoo6jt
不過，幸好，現在他在。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2ahW8ZusK
315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwtgAAVVYz
心聲太吵鬧，她只能確保自己不要突然發瘋，苛求堅定地被愛。315Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvJKeLwJ7e
然後按「加至主畫面」