在很久很久前，大概在中一的時候，林蓁喜歡過一個男生。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxjZ1ywx7w
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiL14ITq3CE
當時，她比廿一歲的自己還重四公斤，還戴黑框眼鏡，臉上還有一些痘痘。比起廿一歲，十二歲的她自然是不懂打扮。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcxWYM4iFp
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJPpd9ysYz
那個男生，暫稱他為Y先生，是她的鄰座，平時二人會互相問功課，她文科好，他理科好，因此才打開話題。他和大部分男同學一樣，小息時也會圍在一角，通常玩BS卡，或者約放學後打LOL。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWXMuYbTVn
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuLbTk3B4H
原本，二人一直不熟，林蓁對Y先生無感，畢竟她平常只和女生玩。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQTjm2dgE3
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfDECx7C1b
直到，第一次她月經來潮，當時在上課，她只感到下體濕濕的，站起來後，則被後桌的男同學大聲說：286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5CYx3hrRJ
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdW3zqwM2i
「你條裙有血！」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtk2Pq3F3M
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkGriOcBvQ
白色的校裙上有一撻小小的跡，還未凝固結塊，像一朵剛開的花。然後，其他人也跟著起哄。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfeDqmfyoQ
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDCFIF1n4F
「大個女啦。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvNA053WoP
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr68F0qsXXc
「哎吔，快啲坐返低。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmR76qFxwS
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhkoFHQ3kG
「去廁所清理吓。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPj2HwzKyt
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQdCjgezHP
她腦袋一片空白，無法反應，對於自己竟對月經不知所措——更加不知所措。她沒有郁動，等到Y先生脫下毛衣，圍在她腰上，遮住裙子。他拍一拍她，著她去洗手間。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1iD5Eoy4m
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHyKK5uI2W
自從這一次，她就感到自己好像喜歡了Y先生。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCalGG9TZM
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXeMxn0NzU
當時心思單純，對一個人有意，就寫在臉上，明明晃晃，無遮無掩。Y先生的笑話不一定好笑，但她一定會笑，而且是盡力地笑，咧開嘴角便見不夠整齊的牙，還會嬌嬌地眉眼彎彎。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsYWSTBazF
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9Ucuc76Ji
早上，她先到校，便自願替他到儲物櫃拿當日要用的書。一年一度的社際運動比賽，她會買飲品、小食給他。總在製造偶遇機會，遲他幾秒出課室去洗手間，然後假裝在路上一同回程，碰見，傾多兩嘴。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCtXmYIURX
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IAXm0CPLk
好友說她的心意很明顯，她沒有說什麼，只是怯怯地睜大眼，再四處張望，確定身邊沒有人聽見這段對話。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z045yJ1pU
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDSMoABna5
終於，有一天，放學後，她知道Y先生會留在課室，便打算一起坐在座位上靜靜溫習。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pMAvNIg0Q
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFcjgvJ3VB
但到她折返課室，聽見他和同學的對話——286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kXXedRcL4
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhW9Z6cgxj
「林蓁係咪同你有路？好殷勤喎。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAkdA6Yxxf
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccOWTNV4d1
「咪係囉，又睇你比賽，又送水又送糧！」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLkUS4QdoV
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7mEFzTlze
「仲有啲眼神好痴纏，一唔講嘢就笑住咁望你。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNUhnSrQnJ
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44Sf2gDXCU
「咦～實係有嘢啦。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT63a1Tku4v
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7JpfqAhi3
她聽見，竟然有點開心。理論上，她在暗戀，可是愛一個人至世上無人知曉，卻是委屈的。她更加期待Y先生的反應。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Nn1FNvIO3
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFnf0TEHek
只聽見他說：286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmNxStQAYH
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSs5Gqcipi
「吓！咪玩啦，豬扒嚟，我先唔會鍾意佢。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWc31OBhzWK
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pVHDVa516
林蓁心下一沉。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iUw5vBZMb
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiiIgivgrF
「你哋幾親㗎喎。」同學說。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3nsR9mRBs
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIuwTM26rV
她又想，會不會是他口硬？286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIK304ZuxBv
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQV2NihOI0
「佢係都要痴埋嚟咋嘛，呢啲豬閪，我鍾意佢就真係柒頭啦。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3m44LyE0u2
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWISa9apQJw
「哇！睇嚟你係柒頭！」同學說。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFJCOeeFmX
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9Zs69ZuWK
「咪再講，再聽到佢個名我要洗耳。戇鳩，我無可能鍾意佢，寧願打一世飛機。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QEP2FY0ej
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gp479SAk6
「好過去自瀆啦。」同學說。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkkKoZdtZC
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFIB7NQbF9
林蓁和那天月經來潮一樣，無法動彈，臉上也不能反應任何表情。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVitfjtK7x
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fq5yipfh1
最後，她站了一會兒，轉身離去。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywoF8uUaZn
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw031TgdTFZ
/286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ANvP59Ato
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtPnEmw1Il
翌日，林蓁確實去了買燈泡，但沒有回家。讓父親一人多留在家一天吧——彷彿是一種小小的報復，偏偏只懂得在這些小事上用力。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRk3anBAHRP
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ48NZrHX6q
她去見了周立沖。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nDkCmGp68
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9oQtDOjl5
一見面，他便說：「今晚不如我煮，你想食咩？」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFP00lPpYGK
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5MxPqoGpH
三年前，二人一起，他也常常為她下廚。他這樣說，令她感到二人又回到從前戀愛時。不知道為何，世間男子千千萬，而她明知他不必然是良人，卻在他回來時洶湧澎湃，難以自控地傾瀉。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5uSUoeIrx
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mnMNHe2sR
「無所謂。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuZCzSCD5c
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYMEqLxf9c
她說「無所謂」，是真的無所謂，並非心裡還有其他盤算，希望別人猜中她未講的話語。畢竟她只需將食物放進口便能填飽肚子，有什麼好要求更多；何況，有人願意煮飯——她已經很久沒有吃過住家飯，對上一次，又是他煮。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclvAe61N12
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMTnVNPfe2
家裡沒有飯吃。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtb3jm8P1vV
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3qASgMd85
「都知你又會話無所謂，咁我話事啦。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpmGFPcyDz
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLiEUWgTq4
「你煮咩我都食。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wJrgo16t6
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljv4yv4dZ7
「傻瓜。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9SsHD59wP
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEGrYGkxnn
他摸摸她的頭。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JCgxFeJhU
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡey8mjWbXri
每次，她都對他的溫柔心動，最初，還會不懂反應，但後來便習慣，臉色自如。能夠和他走到今天這一步，她還求什麼。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNGyb389c2
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUJAXBZ88C
如果真的有辛苦的時候，也是她自尋的——286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzxwjckkXr
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aITCPYFVd
譬如，她是因為喜歡他，才會無法離開這段關係；但他不是，若然情傷已癒，哪需異性的溫柔。他若真的喜歡她，最初又怎會捨棄，或者，現在又怎會回來，由她療傷。可是，即使已有清晰認知，她總想到：反正，青春也是要浪費的，除了自身可以發展的事，感情上，不是花在這個人身上，就是另一個人，倒不如，在遇見更喜歡的人之前，將愛傾瀉到他身上。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROmFZoNr0V
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66FQDLVURr
「快啲煮嘢啦，我好肚餓，嘻嘻。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIeO8xFRPd
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeCF6Z7YSP
「不如食咗我先。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0e33Fm9bse
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl32ceg83Sm
「唔要你，成身臭汗。」286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CqAHfLtnV
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQZVs7d3LD
可是她又要偽裝成，其實不是非他不可。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5eC0oIpEP
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdSSFJl0GX
愛時時談論「無論如何」，而她的便是：喜歡他，不過又允諾他隨時離開。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmRGYLlzpP
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYkp223KKz
她日夜恍神，反覆在腦海練習有一天，他會遇見愛人或是靈魂伴侶之類的東西，她故作鎮定地點點頭、應應嘴，又有一把畫外音著她好好管理顫抖的臉，不要露出濕潤的聲息。久而久之，她便以為，自己已被好好訓練過，可以接受悲痛的離散。連夢也時時出現他，再時時失落。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc6hGSifFf
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkohlsWsWS
不過，幸好，現在他在。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEn1AQ1cyEt
286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVokMK7N7bY
心聲太吵鬧，她只能確保自己不要突然發瘋，苛求堅定地被愛。286Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6yomAa1J7
然後按「加至主畫面」