孫悟空降至花果山水簾洞，走路搖搖擺擺，全身帶著酒氣。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEe25aDx42
悟空：小的們！我回來啦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMj7wfS3Ek
通背猿猴帶著一幫猴子歡呼圍上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7ITTgPyzK
通背猿猴：大王，你老人家可回來了！你這一去，100多年！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlYKy6wXHw
悟空：啊。你怎麽計算的？我只離開半年。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEpebWCUxr
通背猿猴：你忘啦，天上一天，地下一年。100多年前，我對你說過。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfveq48hC1
悟空：你半年前這麽說。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP29JgVzoBc
通背猿猴：我100多年前說的。你以後上天，記下天數，寫在紙上。在天數後加個「年」字，這個數字便是地上的年數。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog9MRDKoSD
悟空：有別的計算方法嗎？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEFnEZCcVV
通背猿猴：你用筆，也可以把年先寫上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqyeRWWzFg
悟空：天數加年，2個我一塊寫。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXjJ4wLjY6
通背猿猴：100多年沒見面，我們好想你！55555……（傷感地大哭）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxWzdyiRmW
悟空：想我想哭了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Zp0hvKgRu
通背猿猴：嗯。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XNGNc6pmm
悟空：額。（吐了一口）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSQVMpJEFv
通背猿猴：大王，你怎麽了？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWhldRUNia
悟空：我也想你們！額。（又吐了一口）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3ndL1VtcR
通背猿猴：哪不舒服？你在吐呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk4he8D6Ux
悟空：沒。是我想你們想的，吐了。（又吐幾口）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslNwTTpYGK
通背猿猴：你想我們挺多的！玉帝封你做齊天大聖沒？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q899dBjS0
悟空：封了。在天宮舉行的冊封儀式，使我終生難忘。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1X3A4zzCY
通背猿猴：大王，描述一下冊封儀式，怎樣？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iK4TvtebH
悟空：不了。我終生難忘的，我知道就行。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnszJs1IFwj
通背猿猴：描述100多年前的事，回憶一下美好時光。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDYAZQtR8v
悟空：我累了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H6dOSeabs
撲騰一聲，孫悟空倒在地上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml13t5644Q
通背猿猴：是醉了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqkWj5yrcQ
天宮。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxgExyy7O9
靈霄殿上，玉帝的臥底土地，進見玉帝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsx86Sam9D
土地：陛下，蟠桃園又大又圓的仙桃，都被孫悟空偷吃了！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaupN79HYnJ
玉帝：啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeGIcP9PRs
一會兒，太上老君進見玉帝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBBOnlRJG6
太上老君：陛下，我嘔心瀝血煉的九轉金丹，都被孫悟空偷吃了！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINqV1UTdDq
玉帝：啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gd3BBBett
又一會兒，王母進見玉帝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpM4nRVVv1
王母：陛下，我準備的蟠桃宴，弄了很多酒菜，都被孫悟空偷吃了！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEuGlO7bJH
玉帝：孫悟空啊孫悟空，你這個吃貨！你敢偷吃我吃的東西？！孫悟空在哪？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjPmBI095X
太上老君：天宮的監視鏡顯示，孫悟空已返回花果山。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wFcS6BzCb
玉帝：誰願下界捉拿吃貨孫悟空？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjamZTVCt9J
托塔天王：我！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPH5LV6ckA0
哪咤：我！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvxkNkEIUU
巨靈神：我！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruaSFbF8Nk
玉帝：天王，又是你們3個。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVHgHBEYRM
托塔天王：這次可以加幾個。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57LQaD9lqj
玉帝：我給你天兵10萬。記住，這次要給孫悟空一個群毆。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3du4rFHXFX
托塔天王：這麽多人群毆一個，要排隊掛號。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqQ76OEXLm
玉帝：不能排隊，不能掛號。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3sxe10bwm
托塔天王：一定做到。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8tUagk2mF
李托塔、哪咤、巨靈神，帶天兵10萬，一路出師下界。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfFExEtCNO
路上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrpILot7Ke
哪咤：父王，我們10多萬人，怎麽做到群毆一個？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgN06ON74f
托塔天王：簡單。10多萬人停在花果山上空，一起向下扔兵器。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOOE0YUWcZ
巨靈神：太血腥了吧？花果山會血流成河。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGfOBwO2ka
托塔天王：下一場大雨沖洗幹凈了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0N2PxNcMUV
巨靈神：一場大雨能解決麽？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2SmUtYtCE
托塔天王：我看行。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeGUgOHYUQ
巨靈神：我看不行。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJWjZ2Bd96
托塔天王：不行再下第二場、第三場，直到沖洗幹凈收場！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXfYMXkeAX
巨靈神：我看也行了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNIccAByFG
這一日，花果山陽光明媚，萬裏無雲。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqsoVLElHf
孫悟空正在和眾猴飲酒狂歡。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JShq3lkQJ
半空中，托塔天王、哪咤、巨靈神出現。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBpDzgtT8n
托塔天王：孫悟空！你偷吃仙桃、偷喝仙酒、偷吃仙丹。玉帝派我將你這個吃貨捉拿歸案！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21VCB8uXcl
悟空：又來捉我？上次捉我失敗，這次，你有沒有做好心理準備？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjw02oSUhP
托塔天王：有。這次準備群毆你。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa41g3oQEbi
悟空：群毆？你們3個？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoKJZ7uHLD
托塔天王：我還有10萬天兵斷後。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcV9tg7xgse
悟空：總共10萬多3人？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUq0vWMhyo
托塔天王：人多也能群毆你！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8MBHLLixp
悟空：失敗，失敗。我這花果山上上下下，也是10萬人多出3個。這次，只能1對1單挑。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwt7EYpGUi
托塔天王：啊！是嗎？這可怎麽辦？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF1uvRSNpP
巨靈神：天王，我們按原計劃開戰吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzpVH1OSl0
托塔天王：不能！敵我雙方的人數對等，不能群毆。開戰，違抗玉帝旨意。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq0T3THJoN
哪咤：父王，我向玉帝請求支援。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFwI3MfbNK
托塔天王：快。我先做好群毆準備，圍住花果山。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3chck4A1p
花果山上空，集聚10萬天兵，遮住太陽，天黑了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5NzdTUfdM
眾猴：大王，我們害怕。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsBJbNn2dw
悟空：天黑怕什麽？來人，掌燈。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQbz8MTdsG
頓時，花果山上萬家燈火。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQOHAn4Ntd
哪咤返回天宮，在南天門遇見玉帝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqNvbjjPdx
玉帝十分關心花果山戰況，正和群臣在南天門觀戰。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeZEBLjYYW
哪咤：陛下！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1QTuhcTNv
玉帝：3太子，前方戰事如何？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB1kj4tBIO
哪咤：急需增兵。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XRxW0BOwg
玉帝：10萬兵力也不夠？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICZszDUgbY
哪咤：孫悟空的兵力也是10萬，不能群毆。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxwM0CJL55
玉帝：啊！天宮的總兵力只有10萬。諸位仙臣，這可咋辦？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5tY70Hqdd
突然，一道霞光閃過，南海觀世音路過。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5iDC2pGwf
觀音：諸位好！我們一起參加蟠桃宴會吧？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdeudtrD10
王母：蟠桃宴會的飯菜，被下界一個叫孫悟空的猴子偷吃了！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eG5AvX72z
觀音：陛下，真的麽？求證一下。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDljE1OCej
玉帝：真的。我後悔，當初多花錢、多招兵買馬，多好。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlaeTuLj86
觀音：孫悟空很厲害麽？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzXEV9tLMR
玉帝：那猴子偷吃仙桃、偷吃仙丹、偷喝仙酒，是一個擁有兵力10萬之多，很厲害的一個吃貨！觀愛卿，你可有法子對付？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ajyVTWn3S
觀音：我推薦一位。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5BfnUioTB
玉帝：直說。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIkugWeP6P
觀音：二郎神。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWJDkYstgy
玉帝：2——郎神？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXbIus3nrb
觀音：二郎神現居灌江口，享受下方香火，他也是一個吃貨。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJATmYxZy7
玉帝：行麽？聽到2我擔心。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdMD4CCwev
觀音：放心。你別忘了，一貨擒一貨。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CMpacjn0y
玉帝：他還是2貨吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE77LPWw2zP
觀音：二郎神可以一抵萬！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9ms72Z7IT
玉帝：好！增兵一萬，宣2郎神迎戰孫悟空。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFLUXhh200
哪咤帶著二郎神，見到托塔天王。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCdAhxYMiv
哪咤：增兵到。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Fc10q8KJx
托塔天王：增兵多少？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93hetL7mmL
哪咤：一萬。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdSPU4hJDI
托塔天王：在哪？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLPWvbOF44
二郎神：我。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6GxJjrYnn
托塔天王：怎麽帶來一個人？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3e2PSrLsL
哪咤：父王，觀音和玉帝都說，他可以以一抵萬。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpT9RgrzK5m
托塔天王：超兵一萬，夠群毆了。天兵聽令，舉起你們手中的兵器，群毆開始。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYbOYSSBFA
二郎神：慢。聽說孫悟空和我一樣，都是吃貨。在群毆之前，我想單獨和孫悟空交流一下。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09Kz1oE2a6
托塔天王：你交流快點。手舉著兵器，挺累的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVMszwJP6c
相貌清俊、秀氣的二郎神，手拿三尖兩刃槍，步伐輕盈的走在花果山上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5relUqiLu
眾猴：好帥喔！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JTxMQNE4h
悟空：帥哥，你哪位？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkO6o29eoY
二郎神：我是號稱以一抵萬的灌江口吃貨……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KoYbsHfVG
悟空：同吃，同吃。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC216lDRAA1
二郎神：帥氣稱霸一方，至今還單身、還沒經歷初戀、還是處男的二郎神！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zwbqmvFoq
悟空：沒感覺。我男的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvoj1WO3Hu
二郎神一轉身，不知從那拿出一朵花，含在嘴裏。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMDyVcAdYK
悟空：說了沒感覺，你擺Pose也沒用。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMnn8ZWmdu
二郎神：知道這是什麽花？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbgMjpoCpp
悟空：鮮花。我這花果山多的是。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWwFARStIU
二郎神：錯！這是一朵只在冬天盛開的梅花。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjw1AIc7Gu
悟空：喔。這種花，花果山可沒有。你那多不多？我打算移植到花果山。等花果山上下雪，我想身臨其境「墻角樹枝美，唯有暗香來」的詩境。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIY0QgQTkD
二郎神：知道這是什麽神器麽？（手指自己的兵器）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdTSmxgZxk
悟空：怪怪的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREJlalf9XH
二郎神：這是上古神器——三尖兩刃槍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwLh4bKxYM
悟空：三刃兩尖槍？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5czJbPiyT
二郎神：三尖兩刃槍。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQtdOhrXr6
悟空：幹脆簡稱三尖槍，聽到這麽憋口的武器名字，沒心情和你打了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKHjtKUymw
二郎神：誰說和你打？我只想在群毆前，會會你。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMJd3YpAMB
悟空：多你一個，也看不出群毆的效果。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntXSTMDNTD
二郎神：我可是以一抵萬。多我一個，等於多了一萬人。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxIygJOIdf
悟空：好吧。這次天宮對我群毆的挑戰，我接受。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMm0yTpydX
二郎神：等著群毆吧你！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZCT45TZML
悟空：現在還沒開始，你我先過幾招，預熱一下，咋樣？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSced5R7nR
二郎神：現在10萬人圍著花果山，你不覺得熱嗎？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXSAcGtyMo
悟空：我有點缺氧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWsc9FcM23
二郎神：同感。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN3WYMcNbb
孫悟空和二郎神開始做深呼吸。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeCkOj5lvy
悟空：我還沒和處男打過，你和我打一場，破破我的處吧。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf8AocqtUj
二郎神：不打。等天上的兵器扔你。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYcPHWCMMZ
悟空：你一個人打敗我，拿個頭等功。知名度一提高，會吸引很多美女。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f30xAI1WN
二郎神：開打。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwk4sTry1c
兩個人的兵器一碰，三尖槍斷了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkEG2Y28QE
二郎神：啊！我的神器！55555……（大哭）57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQTr7c4cKs
悟空：什麽神器，不堪一擊。要麽是次品，要麽是膺品，要麽是仿品。不要為它難過了。回家找個不是奸商的鐵匠，重新打造一件。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMpKrFOwTu
二郎神：我的真是上古神器。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqOzsLHnWt
悟空：是麽？我這根棍子，是上上古的神器，你的材質沒我的好。不要為它難過了。回家買件上上上古的，肯定比我的好。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtD6aAeRqO0
二郎神：我要為我的神器報仇！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkfRXA8lAl
悟空：你回家買一件再說。過幾天，我約你再戰。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxR5pL8FMU
二郎神：我還帶著一件上古神器呢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW13bHrWsT9
悟空：留著吧，別斷了再傷心。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXATrNcj2j
二郎神把2指頭伸進嘴裏，吹了一聲口哨。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gVzoz8ou2
悟空：這也算神器？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtea0izJ4SL
口哨一吹，不知從那冒出一條狗，在孫悟空腿上咬了一口。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphGf7ceV1i
悟空：疼死我了！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWwMYxeWaQ
二郎神：哈哈哈。這是我的第二件神器——上古神犬。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzDj1pFXH8
悟空：有沒有狂犬病？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnWUCRYWvu
二郎神：不確定。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG06Q8HgoeL
悟空：來人！我要看醫生！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtcThLHBQr
南天門的大門口。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARYu45m53G
觀音：孫悟空被二郎神打傷了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4kR7Manib
玉帝：貌似不是2郎神傷的。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkNbl7Qsiw
太上老君：陛下，我可助二郎神一臂之力。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtLPAeWXi2
玉帝：你也養狗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTj7KC6jEOQ
太上老君：我沒養狗，但我有一個套狗的金剛圈。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABWIWwarpA
玉帝：能套猴子嗎？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACiIe9c5EO
太上老君：都是動物，應該可以。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iPrvi9Ex6
說著，老君拿出金剛圈，瞄準孫悟空，把金剛圈發射出去。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8aOMzfWO6
孫悟空還在忍痛求救，沒註意天上掉下東西，被金剛圈砸中頭部，暈倒了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZfrMt61Uc
二郎神叫來托塔天王，將其繩索捆綁，返回天宮。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDXdLUmgrf
孫悟空被天兵押到斬妖臺，玉帝率眾觀斬。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqOfPBzA9T
玉帝：孫悟空，沒想到，你怕狗。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcxwBkiyCp
悟空：剛才，是誰扔磚砸我頭的？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi4j0QFYVQ
太上老君：不是磚，是金剛圈。你恨我吧？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKKLo6ZmoB
悟空：謝謝你！我被你的金剛圈點穴，止住大動脈，控製了狂犬病毒在我體內的擴散。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIAlRPZFAq
太上老君：啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqGYCmUfu8
悟空：諸位，我被狗咬了。和我保持一定距離，小心狂犬病。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iSSpshhI6
玉帝：開斬！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxp5HbSuu7
悟空：等等。我是仙不是妖，不能在斬妖臺斬我。求換地方。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvw2UQj2UAb
玉帝：換什麽地方。把「妖」改成「仙」，筆墨伺候。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck1VdKrb9B
在斬妖仙臺，孫悟空被刀砍斧剁，火燒雷擊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmbNZm36cE
悟空：我死了沒有？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2MaeU5U6l
玉帝：啊！怎麽還不死？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2VgMaI0Y3
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空偷吃仙界食物，已是金剛之身，殺他的方法不對啊。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mGWaIGrG9
玉帝：咋辦？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7mDuSQNEH
太上老君：把孫悟空放進我的八卦爐，扣緊蓋子，煉上7749天，他化成金水，能煉出金子。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbyea3GfXD
玉帝：太好啦！煉出金子，可以招兵買馬。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykBpd7IgAf
孫悟空被天兵押到兜率宮。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZKLe5Kxrd
太上老君：把孫悟空推進八卦爐。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9Qa1MkeY2
悟空：真要把我煉成黃金？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ve05Dky6T
太上老君：玉帝急需用錢。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgkS92vVSv
悟空：這裏有沒有浴池？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEjShJe9DQ
太上老君：想幹嘛？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbTENLoAji
悟空：我想脫掉衣服，洗洗澡，去趟廁所。可以確保煉出黃金的含金率在99.9999999%以上。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPzqGL65xK
太上老君：放心的進去吧！我這爐子煉成的黃金，都是100%的純度。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniLU8YGxr2
悟空：需要煉我多久？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa19t2SRDFh
太上老君：7749天。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnogbE0jJ8
悟空：盡量快些。我很想體驗一下，變成黃金的感覺。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZYr6exR0C
1天，2天，3天………7749天後。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfnjLSfp0Y
太上老君：開爐！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI2TCfPUi0
老君探頭向爐中一看，看到2個圓圓的、閃閃發光的東西。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWA3hbaZasn
太上老君：哈哈！孫悟空被煉成金蛋啦！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tLn3EruEN
說著，伸手去拿金蛋。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCSNXBl6rN
只聽爐內「哎呀」一聲！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TouD2rrWu
爐內：誰插我？誰插我？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBK2n83sqx
太上老君：我的金蛋！我的金蛋！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaY80NLOoK
爐內：哪個王八蛋插我？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrFUa4svGc
呼！孫悟空從爐內跳出來。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvW8aonStUi
悟空：哪個王八蛋插我眼睛？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtjkzkayFR
這時，老君才看清楚，發光的2個金蛋，是孫悟空的2只眼睛。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPOSxwNtRN
太上老君：孫悟空，你怎麽還沒死？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8M6eedEty
悟空：我也想知道。我怎麽還沒變黃金？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkbcG6GD90
太上老君：你的眼睛已變成黃金。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YNmMvq7p5
悟空：多謝了。我的眼睛已經變成火眼金睛！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQny4x1ZUS
太上老君：有什麽了不起。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfnoR8NjMV
突然，老君的衣服起火。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCCe1Vet6n
太上老君：啊！孫悟空，不要用你的眼睛看我！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRrNZfYwvz
兜率宮內，孫悟空眼睛看到的地方，急速起火。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVsFSdklRs
太上老君極速報知靈霄殿的玉帝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuPRRCcP7B
太上老君：陛下，備水！備水！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLzAKgRUBk
玉帝剛好喝下一口茶，看到老君衣服冒火，嘴裏一噴水，火滅了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SkzjLTAKJ
玉帝：老君，你煉金小心點。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa06ntDwswz
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空從火爐逃出，還煉成一對火眼金睛，看到什麽就使什麽著火！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEbzOXtfY8
眾仙：啊！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1xs3vprbL
玉帝：怕什麽。來人，放狗！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhOc8IRtG5
剛說完，孫悟空來了。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsaVFdamT8
悟空：玉帝，狗在我這。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DwbmKRuVR
玉帝一看，孫悟空用火眼金睛，正在烤一只狗。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpwbzzdl7R
玉帝：啊！護駕！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PZq3FbibH
眾仙神護住玉帝。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QzOR5PnCw
悟空：別緊張。等會兒大家一起吃燒烤。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAS7QWNq8G
一會兒，靈霄殿上，到處是火。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT81iE0i5C
玉帝和太白金星躲在一張桌子下，一杯一杯的不停向身上倒水。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9hYGQYfFJ
玉帝：愛卿，快幫朕想想辦法。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYz9pBTzHe
太白金星：陛下，聽說西方雷音寺的主持如來，有一坐騎是一條狗，很厲害。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2ZYsWB6b6
玉帝：他哪是啥狗？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7Wpmdfj9l
太白金星：好像叫佛獒。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U626YlJT6
玉帝：速請西方如來！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthlZejSm2A
如來騎著佛獒，從靈山雷音寺趕來。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkD1pxczbO
悟空：你哪位？愛吃燒烤嗎？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoZq3IVYPk
如來：我是西方極樂世界釋迦牟尼尊者，南無阿彌陀佛。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdsXqAsMBa
悟空：歡迎！一只狗不夠吃，你的這條狗，能不能貢獻一下？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCddu3b1HOj
如來：孫悟空，狗是人類最好的朋友。很多人反對、反感吃狗肉，你怎麽一點也不愛護動物？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIJMusKjBI
悟空：難道你愛護動物？整天騎著狗亂逛，你願意被人騎著亂逛啊？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq9ak7pgNK
如來：額。。。我這條狗名叫佛獒，很兇猛。我騎著它，是防止它咬人。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMWfCMNKgU
悟空：防止咬人還會咬人。吃進肚子，省心看管，絕不咬人。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ157e4uDj2x
如來：我這條狗，可不好吃！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzo0w4Wxko
悟空：調料放全，好吃的很。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvCOAqWf1g
如來：我先讓你吃一小塊。難吃，你別吃它，留它一條性命。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7tpq4DID5
悟空：先來一條狗腿。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsDCqS8bjy
如來：我先給你一只狗掌吧。接著！57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJiLCYwGsi
如來投給孫悟空一只狗掌。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvX6ShJqmaA
悟空接住狗掌，發現狗掌上有一串字——唵嘜呢叭嘧吽。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlXmd0Xrk1
悟空：你還會微雕？57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUB1G7Thae9
突然，狗掌越變越大、越變越大……57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPJphyA0fh
悟空：這麽大，我可吃不完。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2vV1LYQtI
狗掌化作金木水火土五座聯山，喚名五行山，墜落在地球，重重的把孫悟空壓住。57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuhmfIiSzJ
57Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXxkGVKzeT
大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水
刀鋒戰水
篇 #11
第11回 大鬧天宮
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