孫悟空降至花果山水簾洞，走路搖搖擺擺，全身帶著酒氣。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1Eiy3O5Sl
悟空：小的們！我回來啦！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yg3XjmndG
通背猿猴帶著一幫猴子歡呼圍上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP9SEMeXrC
通背猿猴：大王，你老人家可回來了！你這一去，100多年！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4m2eEAqs6P
悟空：啊。你怎麽計算的？我只離開半年。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3xRByIyiP
通背猿猴：你忘啦，天上一天，地下一年。100多年前，我對你說過。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECDRnDzGnX
悟空：你半年前這麽說。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQAHXxgOF6
通背猿猴：我100多年前說的。你以後上天，記下天數，寫在紙上。在天數後加個「年」字，這個數字便是地上的年數。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN2AT2dDoS
悟空：有別的計算方法嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBflxXbLjF3
通背猿猴：你用筆，也可以把年先寫上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEM8J6h8Tv
悟空：天數加年，2個我一塊寫。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCsy03YK0B
通背猿猴：100多年沒見面，我們好想你！55555……（傷感地大哭）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxTXCJKkis
悟空：想我想哭了？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP2wRWNYYI
通背猿猴：嗯。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rFGghyv6J
悟空：額。（吐了一口）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjFqkRBxS4
通背猿猴：大王，你怎麽了？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVfsjppuqv
悟空：我也想你們！額。（又吐了一口）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK0qVjHbrc
通背猿猴：哪不舒服？你在吐呢。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiavcSkF2J
悟空：沒。是我想你們想的，吐了。（又吐幾口）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxzuB0txUS
通背猿猴：你想我們挺多的！玉帝封你做齊天大聖沒？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VCtQpWQPV
悟空：封了。在天宮舉行的冊封儀式，使我終生難忘。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fzw16TULB
通背猿猴：大王，描述一下冊封儀式，怎樣？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxy0Z1uUvv
悟空：不了。我終生難忘的，我知道就行。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpEBdyprHw
通背猿猴：描述100多年前的事，回憶一下美好時光。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZJTeRLD05
悟空：我累了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8vh1CMBXP
撲騰一聲，孫悟空倒在地上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWin7fGLRLp
通背猿猴：是醉了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYTd9aamEr
天宮。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVJPa76APq
靈霄殿上，玉帝的臥底土地，進見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhuvzY9GHa
土地：陛下，蟠桃園又大又圓的仙桃，都被孫悟空偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xivAa3ay7
玉帝：啊！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1f3tjSWgA
一會兒，太上老君進見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiL0IUclgPZ
太上老君：陛下，我嘔心瀝血煉的九轉金丹，都被孫悟空偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc0G7Cvt3L
玉帝：啊！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhlU5af9Tk
又一會兒，王母進見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWK2TEIKYg
王母：陛下，我準備的蟠桃宴，弄了很多酒菜，都被孫悟空偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIOgMXIA2B
玉帝：孫悟空啊孫悟空，你這個吃貨！你敢偷吃我吃的東西？！孫悟空在哪？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2iHmLwQ7i
太上老君：天宮的監視鏡顯示，孫悟空已返回花果山。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTaDyWStdN
玉帝：誰願下界捉拿吃貨孫悟空？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUNDjccdkW
托塔天王：我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDc9hqHa7B
哪咤：我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O2jn8GDcX
巨靈神：我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKXFo1foSY
玉帝：天王，又是你們3個。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIR5Gb6x8m
托塔天王：這次可以加幾個。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmuqolD9P3
玉帝：我給你天兵10萬。記住，這次要給孫悟空一個群毆。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M0rmUd9T2
托塔天王：這麽多人群毆一個，要排隊掛號。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjYyT4Ek10
玉帝：不能排隊，不能掛號。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFjqBV5A2u
托塔天王：一定做到。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnJabaCUIh
李托塔、哪咤、巨靈神，帶天兵10萬，一路出師下界。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV1MJ4Qyvv
路上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaxyYZ3Cxw
哪咤：父王，我們10多萬人，怎麽做到群毆一個？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hlCECRJ05
托塔天王：簡單。10多萬人停在花果山上空，一起向下扔兵器。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkUv5NcfSn
巨靈神：太血腥了吧？花果山會血流成河。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hgfGT5uEF
托塔天王：下一場大雨沖洗幹凈了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtcHCr0czm
巨靈神：一場大雨能解決麽？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VeaW7Sc2H
托塔天王：我看行。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GuVih7G6N
巨靈神：我看不行。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTWpj6vbO7
托塔天王：不行再下第二場、第三場，直到沖洗幹凈收場！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwizcAaHUu
巨靈神：我看也行了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqogQrh8o1R
這一日，花果山陽光明媚，萬裏無雲。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7apceMGLiq
孫悟空正在和眾猴飲酒狂歡。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRZHdGtXz1
半空中，托塔天王、哪咤、巨靈神出現。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLQwmzPVl1
托塔天王：孫悟空！你偷吃仙桃、偷喝仙酒、偷吃仙丹。玉帝派我將你這個吃貨捉拿歸案！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3kZQWKn7u
悟空：又來捉我？上次捉我失敗，這次，你有沒有做好心理準備？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENwsGp4xZ4
托塔天王：有。這次準備群毆你。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MRIOMlwEy
悟空：群毆？你們3個？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIVDMD18Wo
托塔天王：我還有10萬天兵斷後。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63Mn3jweHs
悟空：總共10萬多3人？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzOZkjvVjL
托塔天王：人多也能群毆你！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1J3aDEa6I
悟空：失敗，失敗。我這花果山上上下下，也是10萬人多出3個。這次，只能1對1單挑。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPlFfCFBg3
托塔天王：啊！是嗎？這可怎麽辦？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29Bi5DdmDG
巨靈神：天王，我們按原計劃開戰吧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8boKZ9bTC
托塔天王：不能！敵我雙方的人數對等，不能群毆。開戰，違抗玉帝旨意。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS06Ra16sh
哪咤：父王，我向玉帝請求支援。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSPz6l73Ya
托塔天王：快。我先做好群毆準備，圍住花果山。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MG8aKI0e8
花果山上空，集聚10萬天兵，遮住太陽，天黑了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdOGtY5VOK
眾猴：大王，我們害怕。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiBqFccvl3
悟空：天黑怕什麽？來人，掌燈。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIJ97RFYmq
頓時，花果山上萬家燈火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ34HiQg7LW
哪咤返回天宮，在南天門遇見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY52Myz9Kz2
玉帝十分關心花果山戰況，正和群臣在南天門觀戰。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLN3KgFQqz4
哪咤：陛下！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Dlg10iCAA
玉帝：3太子，前方戰事如何？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCLj4KkpTQ
哪咤：急需增兵。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJl222iyvY8
玉帝：10萬兵力也不夠？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowYMUK8Ac3
哪咤：孫悟空的兵力也是10萬，不能群毆。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOJYKS5QsV
玉帝：啊！天宮的總兵力只有10萬。諸位仙臣，這可咋辦？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhPW7efpLu
突然，一道霞光閃過，南海觀世音路過。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAGrSrdU3C
觀音：諸位好！我們一起參加蟠桃宴會吧？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMcsok1J3c
王母：蟠桃宴會的飯菜，被下界一個叫孫悟空的猴子偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8bTv4pa4F
觀音：陛下，真的麽？求證一下。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC42p82tPXR
玉帝：真的。我後悔，當初多花錢、多招兵買馬，多好。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPml7hb8ef4
觀音：孫悟空很厲害麽？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Kb0bDVRO8
玉帝：那猴子偷吃仙桃、偷吃仙丹、偷喝仙酒，是一個擁有兵力10萬之多，很厲害的一個吃貨！觀愛卿，你可有法子對付？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKqY4VWQYh
觀音：我推薦一位。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuUS2Rp1Q5
玉帝：直說。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT6OazWfEN
觀音：二郎神。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcAUsfLPW0
玉帝：2——郎神？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYZm4wHq1w
觀音：二郎神現居灌江口，享受下方香火，他也是一個吃貨。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMohu26KXZ
玉帝：行麽？聽到2我擔心。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBM6zFTiaml
觀音：放心。你別忘了，一貨擒一貨。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWiyySReOB
玉帝：他還是2貨吧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW5AHZjy2m
觀音：二郎神可以一抵萬！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxnVbZ8p0B
玉帝：好！增兵一萬，宣2郎神迎戰孫悟空。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vNvAn2z6z
哪咤帶著二郎神，見到托塔天王。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmHazGnC1l
哪咤：增兵到。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfezfNGC7b
托塔天王：增兵多少？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5IIT0qNWk
哪咤：一萬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMRreTXd8h
托塔天王：在哪？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4USQ8x1Y0R
二郎神：我。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdZDbiJ7bf
托塔天王：怎麽帶來一個人？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFW3YVIrFJ
哪咤：父王，觀音和玉帝都說，他可以以一抵萬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKkqjF61Ni
托塔天王：超兵一萬，夠群毆了。天兵聽令，舉起你們手中的兵器，群毆開始。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2ENS8KX2I
二郎神：慢。聽說孫悟空和我一樣，都是吃貨。在群毆之前，我想單獨和孫悟空交流一下。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXpI1ZYS1e
托塔天王：你交流快點。手舉著兵器，挺累的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO6RWp3Sqz
相貌清俊、秀氣的二郎神，手拿三尖兩刃槍，步伐輕盈的走在花果山上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKxrE6ulHH
眾猴：好帥喔！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoslZdEEF6
悟空：帥哥，你哪位？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJMIKVPfR4
二郎神：我是號稱以一抵萬的灌江口吃貨……81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCujLBk6ZZ8
悟空：同吃，同吃。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rahTyYo5P
二郎神：帥氣稱霸一方，至今還單身、還沒經歷初戀、還是處男的二郎神！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybcnNUDH3j
悟空：沒感覺。我男的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0BUDdlt4F
二郎神一轉身，不知從那拿出一朵花，含在嘴裏。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkfVFKmCOs
悟空：說了沒感覺，你擺Pose也沒用。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTOS0evK6C
二郎神：知道這是什麽花？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWO24YA7FC
悟空：鮮花。我這花果山多的是。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t0TsLaEGs
二郎神：錯！這是一朵只在冬天盛開的梅花。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP66BWiL6bg
悟空：喔。這種花，花果山可沒有。你那多不多？我打算移植到花果山。等花果山上下雪，我想身臨其境「墻角樹枝美，唯有暗香來」的詩境。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTa09NoMqa
二郎神：知道這是什麽神器麽？（手指自己的兵器）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02ynZfgiNi
悟空：怪怪的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDiJ5nTTdW
二郎神：這是上古神器——三尖兩刃槍。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLMSXNBo3L
悟空：三刃兩尖槍？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyftoSOxH1
二郎神：三尖兩刃槍。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL7d9qQcKx
悟空：幹脆簡稱三尖槍，聽到這麽憋口的武器名字，沒心情和你打了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZ3CRmKDd4
二郎神：誰說和你打？我只想在群毆前，會會你。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQ7cJ29Yyf
悟空：多你一個，也看不出群毆的效果。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG6JNUH1dV
二郎神：我可是以一抵萬。多我一個，等於多了一萬人。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJLM2l91vV
悟空：好吧。這次天宮對我群毆的挑戰，我接受。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvO3Ah2yyq
二郎神：等著群毆吧你！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmsgcDwVPj
悟空：現在還沒開始，你我先過幾招，預熱一下，咋樣？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhgbkJ3bMQ
二郎神：現在10萬人圍著花果山，你不覺得熱嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDIpTkcUzo
悟空：我有點缺氧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQKZQ7RTQG
二郎神：同感。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYKmfyZHnB
孫悟空和二郎神開始做深呼吸。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeazfnWzsR
悟空：我還沒和處男打過，你和我打一場，破破我的處吧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnR5usKsGW
二郎神：不打。等天上的兵器扔你。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneRWpJSzKv
悟空：你一個人打敗我，拿個頭等功。知名度一提高，會吸引很多美女。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbcEUTCC6s
二郎神：開打。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcdCxoDyZJ
兩個人的兵器一碰，三尖槍斷了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiIT2pfGLU
二郎神：啊！我的神器！55555……（大哭）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmnXFp9k2O
悟空：什麽神器，不堪一擊。要麽是次品，要麽是膺品，要麽是仿品。不要為它難過了。回家找個不是奸商的鐵匠，重新打造一件。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfTy1Eq7KH
二郎神：我的真是上古神器。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH25omsASf6
悟空：是麽？我這根棍子，是上上古的神器，你的材質沒我的好。不要為它難過了。回家買件上上上古的，肯定比我的好。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtq4MWKUvI
二郎神：我要為我的神器報仇！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NYIgHzpXH
悟空：你回家買一件再說。過幾天，我約你再戰。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5DQtQrLNi
二郎神：我還帶著一件上古神器呢。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreLILxZY6o
悟空：留著吧，別斷了再傷心。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygwS9JZAXF
二郎神把2指頭伸進嘴裏，吹了一聲口哨。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPEk7OYEYY
悟空：這也算神器？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBgIxOyi1z
口哨一吹，不知從那冒出一條狗，在孫悟空腿上咬了一口。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHoi6LAAhr
悟空：疼死我了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJRYmbOALO
二郎神：哈哈哈。這是我的第二件神器——上古神犬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGo2y8r450e
悟空：有沒有狂犬病？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIDg85TzxB
二郎神：不確定。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvgvIHtW1u
悟空：來人！我要看醫生！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeF5EhU07vs
南天門的大門口。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBkVhAUfyc
觀音：孫悟空被二郎神打傷了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLlFEPEslf
玉帝：貌似不是2郎神傷的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuClHWU1zi
太上老君：陛下，我可助二郎神一臂之力。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14UlfW9mb9
玉帝：你也養狗？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzHXVvJsDd
太上老君：我沒養狗，但我有一個套狗的金剛圈。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGLMtSmovV
玉帝：能套猴子嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVld2sZnLz2
太上老君：都是動物，應該可以。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU0l55Ybkx
說著，老君拿出金剛圈，瞄準孫悟空，把金剛圈發射出去。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsbfV6Ogun
孫悟空還在忍痛求救，沒註意天上掉下東西，被金剛圈砸中頭部，暈倒了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJIbSgMtT8
二郎神叫來托塔天王，將其繩索捆綁，返回天宮。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTuDOlx0Tv
孫悟空被天兵押到斬妖臺，玉帝率眾觀斬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nvBoq8xeQ
玉帝：孫悟空，沒想到，你怕狗。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedY1cn1eyM
悟空：剛才，是誰扔磚砸我頭的？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYVzQnk5pU
太上老君：不是磚，是金剛圈。你恨我吧？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8EihXoQ82
悟空：謝謝你！我被你的金剛圈點穴，止住大動脈，控製了狂犬病毒在我體內的擴散。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawl0LkthEM
太上老君：啊。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiMXgyxCY2
悟空：諸位，我被狗咬了。和我保持一定距離，小心狂犬病。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxNXgDvNt6
玉帝：開斬！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DUEU9umon
悟空：等等。我是仙不是妖，不能在斬妖臺斬我。求換地方。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sklaZ5HP2
玉帝：換什麽地方。把「妖」改成「仙」，筆墨伺候。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzDL5nkNgv
在斬妖仙臺，孫悟空被刀砍斧剁，火燒雷擊。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRm5yDv4mg
悟空：我死了沒有？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjMZtPCREF
玉帝：啊！怎麽還不死？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkqB2hFkDC
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空偷吃仙界食物，已是金剛之身，殺他的方法不對啊。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L8jsWFrbC
玉帝：咋辦？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJmFnvWcnF
太上老君：把孫悟空放進我的八卦爐，扣緊蓋子，煉上7749天，他化成金水，能煉出金子。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9OfXF8Fge
玉帝：太好啦！煉出金子，可以招兵買馬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oY3Z80hny
孫悟空被天兵押到兜率宮。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfE2Y7IlxX
太上老君：把孫悟空推進八卦爐。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbp1WBxBHl
悟空：真要把我煉成黃金？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwI8YWrFFYB
太上老君：玉帝急需用錢。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6M6pww0afr
悟空：這裏有沒有浴池？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DXpToafuA
太上老君：想幹嘛？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMabEwqpN1l
悟空：我想脫掉衣服，洗洗澡，去趟廁所。可以確保煉出黃金的含金率在99.9999999%以上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJW37ouqpyW
太上老君：放心的進去吧！我這爐子煉成的黃金，都是100%的純度。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHISoqmbJ4
悟空：需要煉我多久？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52SCV0252g
太上老君：7749天。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc76SuwJh6R
悟空：盡量快些。我很想體驗一下，變成黃金的感覺。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuneydagsd
1天，2天，3天………7749天後。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEf9sY5UfmJ
太上老君：開爐！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXCQVKuvgV
老君探頭向爐中一看，看到2個圓圓的、閃閃發光的東西。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pHEjttsK8
太上老君：哈哈！孫悟空被煉成金蛋啦！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth4IqlzIb9
說著，伸手去拿金蛋。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDXhuK22r2
只聽爐內「哎呀」一聲！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPRIW6k1Zj
爐內：誰插我？誰插我？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9L7jPrOPE
太上老君：我的金蛋！我的金蛋！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXeY32dABl
爐內：哪個王八蛋插我？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYy10BQWVi
呼！孫悟空從爐內跳出來。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gvINSNf8n
悟空：哪個王八蛋插我眼睛？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSOomwsRHg
這時，老君才看清楚，發光的2個金蛋，是孫悟空的2只眼睛。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21DvzPXmbt
太上老君：孫悟空，你怎麽還沒死？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysFv4NU9i0
悟空：我也想知道。我怎麽還沒變黃金？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5W8d2Berd
太上老君：你的眼睛已變成黃金。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtO5zSi6vv0
悟空：多謝了。我的眼睛已經變成火眼金睛！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZD73sdEdLN
太上老君：有什麽了不起。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtHljGr9vq
突然，老君的衣服起火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJR4Mfl6KA
太上老君：啊！孫悟空，不要用你的眼睛看我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG5dh7w8L8
兜率宮內，孫悟空眼睛看到的地方，急速起火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRc65hSQtsU
太上老君極速報知靈霄殿的玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6AQ5X8BoP
太上老君：陛下，備水！備水！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT3LEv6tkZ
玉帝剛好喝下一口茶，看到老君衣服冒火，嘴裏一噴水，火滅了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AOM6x0HJt
玉帝：老君，你煉金小心點。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJJZADAJlW
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空從火爐逃出，還煉成一對火眼金睛，看到什麽就使什麽著火！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77ZpFp4yva
眾仙：啊！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBRP0cybh7
玉帝：怕什麽。來人，放狗！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0n0oS6aMe2
剛說完，孫悟空來了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ94XPLdBkt
悟空：玉帝，狗在我這。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlknGbsAX8d
玉帝一看，孫悟空用火眼金睛，正在烤一只狗。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYQXpvMhDk
玉帝：啊！護駕！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrm4b9PJ0Y
眾仙神護住玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZ4EnXhQ05
悟空：別緊張。等會兒大家一起吃燒烤。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cNS3xtcYJ
一會兒，靈霄殿上，到處是火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lL1WVP1CO
玉帝和太白金星躲在一張桌子下，一杯一杯的不停向身上倒水。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OQatr9caR
玉帝：愛卿，快幫朕想想辦法。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbESc53cskS
太白金星：陛下，聽說西方雷音寺的主持如來，有一坐騎是一條狗，很厲害。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECorMjvyjQ
玉帝：他哪是啥狗？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaraz4POta6
太白金星：好像叫佛獒。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudGK69CiHF
玉帝：速請西方如來！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgaQjHaGXv
如來騎著佛獒，從靈山雷音寺趕來。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDY4j63dFY
悟空：你哪位？愛吃燒烤嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLmoXGwyyk
如來：我是西方極樂世界釋迦牟尼尊者，南無阿彌陀佛。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgP9akyXBJB
悟空：歡迎！一只狗不夠吃，你的這條狗，能不能貢獻一下？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWsksGE4em
如來：孫悟空，狗是人類最好的朋友。很多人反對、反感吃狗肉，你怎麽一點也不愛護動物？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjT0CkRaxk
悟空：難道你愛護動物？整天騎著狗亂逛，你願意被人騎著亂逛啊？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ot4TDR9cP
如來：額。。。我這條狗名叫佛獒，很兇猛。我騎著它，是防止它咬人。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F7qbN8AJM
悟空：防止咬人還會咬人。吃進肚子，省心看管，絕不咬人。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHWkHYw0NX
如來：我這條狗，可不好吃！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWr9gIZc2R
悟空：調料放全，好吃的很。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvizPOusp6i
如來：我先讓你吃一小塊。難吃，你別吃它，留它一條性命。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB7QSrMrab
悟空：先來一條狗腿。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBo6ds3ZOt
如來：我先給你一只狗掌吧。接著！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ51Pm0YO9
如來投給孫悟空一只狗掌。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigy61kHAeB
悟空接住狗掌，發現狗掌上有一串字——唵嘜呢叭嘧吽。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFn1KNZmoO
悟空：你還會微雕？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmB5uCLBUa
突然，狗掌越變越大、越變越大……81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4T81k9xFc
悟空：這麽大，我可吃不完。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJhBzLj1qv
狗掌化作金木水火土五座聯山，喚名五行山，墜落在地球，重重的把孫悟空壓住。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucgLJlmb1R
81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnNQaTHMTT
大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水
刀鋒戰水
篇 #11
第11回 大鬧天宮
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