孫悟空降至花果山水簾洞，走路搖搖擺擺，全身帶著酒氣。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VTMeFYjCl
悟空：小的們！我回來啦！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMTTeMI6Mh
通背猿猴帶著一幫猴子歡呼圍上。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoL5HAcrH7
通背猿猴：大王，你老人家可回來了！你這一去，100多年！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTRJBDtQ4F
悟空：啊。你怎麽計算的？我只離開半年。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdD72jD2Lf
通背猿猴：你忘啦，天上一天，地下一年。100多年前，我對你說過。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPWyZKu0zo
悟空：你半年前這麽說。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUEESCXv58
通背猿猴：我100多年前說的。你以後上天，記下天數，寫在紙上。在天數後加個「年」字，這個數字便是地上的年數。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5ahUjotkh
悟空：有別的計算方法嗎？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GC3eBZuQk
通背猿猴：你用筆，也可以把年先寫上。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uS3ssMyXo
悟空：天數加年，2個我一塊寫。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM70RWj0LtP
通背猿猴：100多年沒見面，我們好想你！55555……（傷感地大哭）55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRjT0NjZlg
悟空：想我想哭了？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGsdRfxCFp
通背猿猴：嗯。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcd6MdRAjw
悟空：額。（吐了一口）55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvs0v12c5O
通背猿猴：大王，你怎麽了？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0gIMHNGAM
悟空：我也想你們！額。（又吐了一口）55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6u7sMtZq1
通背猿猴：哪不舒服？你在吐呢。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJG2uXKCIw
悟空：沒。是我想你們想的，吐了。（又吐幾口）55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfO6lW3SW9
通背猿猴：你想我們挺多的！玉帝封你做齊天大聖沒？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8m7xIEyxK
悟空：封了。在天宮舉行的冊封儀式，使我終生難忘。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfE5M8u8DAg
通背猿猴：大王，描述一下冊封儀式，怎樣？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCifKEWJ0u
悟空：不了。我終生難忘的，我知道就行。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYB2bWaogQe
通背猿猴：描述100多年前的事，回憶一下美好時光。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RmeI2mNWD
悟空：我累了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHsA7S0kVm
撲騰一聲，孫悟空倒在地上。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNwryzUlz6
通背猿猴：是醉了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBSnNY5ksL
天宮。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3Za4jgjAo
靈霄殿上，玉帝的臥底土地，進見玉帝。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEVcnTM4fQ
土地：陛下，蟠桃園又大又圓的仙桃，都被孫悟空偷吃了！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjkJ1QPs3K
玉帝：啊！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2t4OYyyUi
一會兒，太上老君進見玉帝。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhASDOoBPUi
太上老君：陛下，我嘔心瀝血煉的九轉金丹，都被孫悟空偷吃了！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1XFShfzoh
玉帝：啊！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzUGUNve0t
又一會兒，王母進見玉帝。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNyLoR26dZ
王母：陛下，我準備的蟠桃宴，弄了很多酒菜，都被孫悟空偷吃了！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqBcbCPjlN
玉帝：孫悟空啊孫悟空，你這個吃貨！你敢偷吃我吃的東西？！孫悟空在哪？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBha114MfX
太上老君：天宮的監視鏡顯示，孫悟空已返回花果山。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExwoNBT38g
玉帝：誰願下界捉拿吃貨孫悟空？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzdG4dDOH0
托塔天王：我！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMEAemp0x2
哪咤：我！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTP90pwyXr
巨靈神：我！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm314e6hrbW
玉帝：天王，又是你們3個。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhrEK29tzl
托塔天王：這次可以加幾個。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzqSGHSpJn
玉帝：我給你天兵10萬。記住，這次要給孫悟空一個群毆。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfieAlPiWrr
托塔天王：這麽多人群毆一個，要排隊掛號。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3PSegeGo8
玉帝：不能排隊，不能掛號。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEsYUSNZy8
托塔天王：一定做到。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MMepQmW3G
李托塔、哪咤、巨靈神，帶天兵10萬，一路出師下界。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkiFMbFaL2
路上。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMJHvAs74X
哪咤：父王，我們10多萬人，怎麽做到群毆一個？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUd25IlGUer
托塔天王：簡單。10多萬人停在花果山上空，一起向下扔兵器。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVQs06F6aS
巨靈神：太血腥了吧？花果山會血流成河。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwC1m8xZguy
托塔天王：下一場大雨沖洗幹凈了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUwCZJTkMb
巨靈神：一場大雨能解決麽？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHu64Usp4z
托塔天王：我看行。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDHMtP01jG
巨靈神：我看不行。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfRgZzfrtk
托塔天王：不行再下第二場、第三場，直到沖洗幹凈收場！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTrj4mqnqp
巨靈神：我看也行了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3KHL2RjSC
這一日，花果山陽光明媚，萬裏無雲。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUFPqwumfn
孫悟空正在和眾猴飲酒狂歡。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL7wFwXMEi
半空中，托塔天王、哪咤、巨靈神出現。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqAP8DcHlA
托塔天王：孫悟空！你偷吃仙桃、偷喝仙酒、偷吃仙丹。玉帝派我將你這個吃貨捉拿歸案！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSRJkyJjrR
悟空：又來捉我？上次捉我失敗，這次，你有沒有做好心理準備？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pg93i3Lkj
托塔天王：有。這次準備群毆你。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWGrB8TVAM
悟空：群毆？你們3個？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9k1Bj8ELMV
托塔天王：我還有10萬天兵斷後。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSdNEcmbcT
悟空：總共10萬多3人？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xscBszYF4
托塔天王：人多也能群毆你！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQG7SKFodt
悟空：失敗，失敗。我這花果山上上下下，也是10萬人多出3個。這次，只能1對1單挑。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVs1aS7Ilg
托塔天王：啊！是嗎？這可怎麽辦？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZi0lvDSXs2
巨靈神：天王，我們按原計劃開戰吧。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLG6i58SdK
托塔天王：不能！敵我雙方的人數對等，不能群毆。開戰，違抗玉帝旨意。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfIZ5Q3y2L
哪咤：父王，我向玉帝請求支援。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQRazCy16c
托塔天王：快。我先做好群毆準備，圍住花果山。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fW86HDsKz
花果山上空，集聚10萬天兵，遮住太陽，天黑了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxqa71xoQl
眾猴：大王，我們害怕。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjpClacPTW
悟空：天黑怕什麽？來人，掌燈。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoopzm935Ve
頓時，花果山上萬家燈火。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGorhWJooYR
哪咤返回天宮，在南天門遇見玉帝。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWnuNBk5Sb
玉帝十分關心花果山戰況，正和群臣在南天門觀戰。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBsQ7tFEqq
哪咤：陛下！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52vaIURswD
玉帝：3太子，前方戰事如何？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcF2oBTf9SX
哪咤：急需增兵。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHnvi7AxNO
玉帝：10萬兵力也不夠？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqk73796cy
哪咤：孫悟空的兵力也是10萬，不能群毆。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEnL4dhCtv
玉帝：啊！天宮的總兵力只有10萬。諸位仙臣，這可咋辦？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfrqvzYTuh
突然，一道霞光閃過，南海觀世音路過。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NeOYOMyAs
觀音：諸位好！我們一起參加蟠桃宴會吧？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2d2D7Jld3r
王母：蟠桃宴會的飯菜，被下界一個叫孫悟空的猴子偷吃了！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPX0kgcjAeD
觀音：陛下，真的麽？求證一下。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYU1KErT2s
玉帝：真的。我後悔，當初多花錢、多招兵買馬，多好。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1m9iI84Y1u
觀音：孫悟空很厲害麽？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pGYJg5GTq
玉帝：那猴子偷吃仙桃、偷吃仙丹、偷喝仙酒，是一個擁有兵力10萬之多，很厲害的一個吃貨！觀愛卿，你可有法子對付？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwKd0B0xZR
觀音：我推薦一位。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIehbIMONnU
玉帝：直說。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOoJf5YBZz
觀音：二郎神。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl5WRL5zeh
玉帝：2——郎神？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cQYpfZkfM
觀音：二郎神現居灌江口，享受下方香火，他也是一個吃貨。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ5tCKmIwS
玉帝：行麽？聽到2我擔心。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFyQtugb1f
觀音：放心。你別忘了，一貨擒一貨。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsfit4RUHi
玉帝：他還是2貨吧。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ859TYEKU50
觀音：二郎神可以一抵萬！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIhXrYvybo
玉帝：好！增兵一萬，宣2郎神迎戰孫悟空。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nqcJN9XBK
哪咤帶著二郎神，見到托塔天王。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKh6R4i5hfi
哪咤：增兵到。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs551tZZAUX
托塔天王：增兵多少？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8qFvmLOdk
哪咤：一萬。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLL2Deq4Kj
托塔天王：在哪？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpSIHBiloy
二郎神：我。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVFeBguckK
托塔天王：怎麽帶來一個人？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIxJnEXNhh
哪咤：父王，觀音和玉帝都說，他可以以一抵萬。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf321qb19lk
托塔天王：超兵一萬，夠群毆了。天兵聽令，舉起你們手中的兵器，群毆開始。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWeK6E10c8
二郎神：慢。聽說孫悟空和我一樣，都是吃貨。在群毆之前，我想單獨和孫悟空交流一下。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZK7XXzoFm
托塔天王：你交流快點。手舉著兵器，挺累的。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8yOHf1uHP
相貌清俊、秀氣的二郎神，手拿三尖兩刃槍，步伐輕盈的走在花果山上。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2khum1RK7
眾猴：好帥喔！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxAYrQD0p3
悟空：帥哥，你哪位？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcHXdze2Tk
二郎神：我是號稱以一抵萬的灌江口吃貨……55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZewNVh1og
悟空：同吃，同吃。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2SBEDkQoK
二郎神：帥氣稱霸一方，至今還單身、還沒經歷初戀、還是處男的二郎神！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUXECLY41K
悟空：沒感覺。我男的。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQHFEqo8R3
二郎神一轉身，不知從那拿出一朵花，含在嘴裏。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJRJSXQr2u
悟空：說了沒感覺，你擺Pose也沒用。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMLR5lhyE5
二郎神：知道這是什麽花？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gtpHXkra7
悟空：鮮花。我這花果山多的是。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FUhQ0rox7
二郎神：錯！這是一朵只在冬天盛開的梅花。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ960NLlt5Fs
悟空：喔。這種花，花果山可沒有。你那多不多？我打算移植到花果山。等花果山上下雪，我想身臨其境「墻角樹枝美，唯有暗香來」的詩境。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRJUmjy6gB
二郎神：知道這是什麽神器麽？（手指自己的兵器）55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0N00HwKwA
悟空：怪怪的。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuBdfAWRkj
二郎神：這是上古神器——三尖兩刃槍。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ELnmenDnr
悟空：三刃兩尖槍？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsEaZ5ZLfZ
二郎神：三尖兩刃槍。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHutLP09x9w
悟空：幹脆簡稱三尖槍，聽到這麽憋口的武器名字，沒心情和你打了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8ZwRa7uCw
二郎神：誰說和你打？我只想在群毆前，會會你。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrj6wKY2Yj
悟空：多你一個，也看不出群毆的效果。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaA7zWG7Xhf
二郎神：我可是以一抵萬。多我一個，等於多了一萬人。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDssoHUypB
悟空：好吧。這次天宮對我群毆的挑戰，我接受。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzdGZPSdMI
二郎神：等著群毆吧你！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHChbv9Gfj
悟空：現在還沒開始，你我先過幾招，預熱一下，咋樣？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUZ1zTE5f3
二郎神：現在10萬人圍著花果山，你不覺得熱嗎？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6NSQ7NoUd
悟空：我有點缺氧。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8Ot7o6lJp
二郎神：同感。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0gCalhmlA
孫悟空和二郎神開始做深呼吸。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GWOampCXX
悟空：我還沒和處男打過，你和我打一場，破破我的處吧。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vbv3sDinh
二郎神：不打。等天上的兵器扔你。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqVO6YnNDo
悟空：你一個人打敗我，拿個頭等功。知名度一提高，會吸引很多美女。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt38DkerbZv
二郎神：開打。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj0IBfpvJE
兩個人的兵器一碰，三尖槍斷了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYSIoBrpHV
二郎神：啊！我的神器！55555……（大哭）55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgZI50uYj0
悟空：什麽神器，不堪一擊。要麽是次品，要麽是膺品，要麽是仿品。不要為它難過了。回家找個不是奸商的鐵匠，重新打造一件。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSkKl3Q3Uh
二郎神：我的真是上古神器。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZeyst1K89
悟空：是麽？我這根棍子，是上上古的神器，你的材質沒我的好。不要為它難過了。回家買件上上上古的，肯定比我的好。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOi5SCOivJL
二郎神：我要為我的神器報仇！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOzn1Vqra8
悟空：你回家買一件再說。過幾天，我約你再戰。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOXRDXPcHq
二郎神：我還帶著一件上古神器呢。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aN0uCUvrn
悟空：留著吧，別斷了再傷心。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3H9U9Mnb3
二郎神把2指頭伸進嘴裏，吹了一聲口哨。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NeaJOkkxt
悟空：這也算神器？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcSRcdKOFG
口哨一吹，不知從那冒出一條狗，在孫悟空腿上咬了一口。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmymETgVwd7
悟空：疼死我了！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwpvfz39K3
二郎神：哈哈哈。這是我的第二件神器——上古神犬。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTkHLhRiLT
悟空：有沒有狂犬病？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX21Lj90p7Q
二郎神：不確定。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVfw9xYP1G
悟空：來人！我要看醫生！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQjuzWuGUS
南天門的大門口。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5c8Bh0uPO
觀音：孫悟空被二郎神打傷了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwEWFy4MwZ
玉帝：貌似不是2郎神傷的。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXGTbibG1g
太上老君：陛下，我可助二郎神一臂之力。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0enMgs51Fc
玉帝：你也養狗？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSVqJp32hW
太上老君：我沒養狗，但我有一個套狗的金剛圈。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1m64czxuE
玉帝：能套猴子嗎？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamkWgveQwp
太上老君：都是動物，應該可以。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5Er092NEU
說著，老君拿出金剛圈，瞄準孫悟空，把金剛圈發射出去。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eFSWO28gi
孫悟空還在忍痛求救，沒註意天上掉下東西，被金剛圈砸中頭部，暈倒了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc2iaPHNmv
二郎神叫來托塔天王，將其繩索捆綁，返回天宮。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5rbOYDuPE
孫悟空被天兵押到斬妖臺，玉帝率眾觀斬。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwEQ4t3AyP
玉帝：孫悟空，沒想到，你怕狗。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJfE584NB8
悟空：剛才，是誰扔磚砸我頭的？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KzwDJ39Wf
太上老君：不是磚，是金剛圈。你恨我吧？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSGh32hrTZ
悟空：謝謝你！我被你的金剛圈點穴，止住大動脈，控製了狂犬病毒在我體內的擴散。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNNKEZDcF8
太上老君：啊。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaFNUEbRn7
悟空：諸位，我被狗咬了。和我保持一定距離，小心狂犬病。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyrljvkPcT
玉帝：開斬！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgWGM9Grrr
悟空：等等。我是仙不是妖，不能在斬妖臺斬我。求換地方。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwNT2EXF67
玉帝：換什麽地方。把「妖」改成「仙」，筆墨伺候。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnCFPOGlmK
在斬妖仙臺，孫悟空被刀砍斧剁，火燒雷擊。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuGhlOvFGe
悟空：我死了沒有？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tJcnT6cAv
玉帝：啊！怎麽還不死？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pRJ7sZzyh
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空偷吃仙界食物，已是金剛之身，殺他的方法不對啊。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eZXZ0TnKQ
玉帝：咋辦？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQtazTCUqs
太上老君：把孫悟空放進我的八卦爐，扣緊蓋子，煉上7749天，他化成金水，能煉出金子。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNs7gM7V3l8
玉帝：太好啦！煉出金子，可以招兵買馬。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsCqkCDah7
孫悟空被天兵押到兜率宮。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9MQBEdyyD
太上老君：把孫悟空推進八卦爐。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWu3HcyGP7
悟空：真要把我煉成黃金？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzex6sOdm0
太上老君：玉帝急需用錢。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHlhIWO4lR
悟空：這裏有沒有浴池？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBj4rKnLFb
太上老君：想幹嘛？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKiGq3fYf4
悟空：我想脫掉衣服，洗洗澡，去趟廁所。可以確保煉出黃金的含金率在99.9999999%以上。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt4FcainHH
太上老君：放心的進去吧！我這爐子煉成的黃金，都是100%的純度。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1JcM83psJ
悟空：需要煉我多久？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ymKWKHYhE
太上老君：7749天。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXrdpBy42Z
悟空：盡量快些。我很想體驗一下，變成黃金的感覺。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ex5Px2aCN
1天，2天，3天………7749天後。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzOFI5q3sT
太上老君：開爐！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvppcQHxgs
老君探頭向爐中一看，看到2個圓圓的、閃閃發光的東西。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68mKANukLt
太上老君：哈哈！孫悟空被煉成金蛋啦！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1Sc4VCxUZ
說著，伸手去拿金蛋。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DgyaV1S26
只聽爐內「哎呀」一聲！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP15RQUrN9u
爐內：誰插我？誰插我？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4FJ83kJaa
太上老君：我的金蛋！我的金蛋！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmzvPMAKBe
爐內：哪個王八蛋插我？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqxLvzyMPa
呼！孫悟空從爐內跳出來。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6viQCTCng
悟空：哪個王八蛋插我眼睛？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8grU5YYJSP
這時，老君才看清楚，發光的2個金蛋，是孫悟空的2只眼睛。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCmsbyPrtG
太上老君：孫悟空，你怎麽還沒死？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQGt1aBlDv
悟空：我也想知道。我怎麽還沒變黃金？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJuzi2DXdj
太上老君：你的眼睛已變成黃金。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD7PDFKI8e
悟空：多謝了。我的眼睛已經變成火眼金睛！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVq8W14k3gZ
太上老君：有什麽了不起。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL7tg46bgs
突然，老君的衣服起火。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSrYFoLUx1
太上老君：啊！孫悟空，不要用你的眼睛看我！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2g0NM2BpE
兜率宮內，孫悟空眼睛看到的地方，急速起火。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS1y38OUev
太上老君極速報知靈霄殿的玉帝。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1RCwnhMDa
太上老君：陛下，備水！備水！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HYZQTl6vO
玉帝剛好喝下一口茶，看到老君衣服冒火，嘴裏一噴水，火滅了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizGycWIANU
玉帝：老君，你煉金小心點。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f3PXnGvvP
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空從火爐逃出，還煉成一對火眼金睛，看到什麽就使什麽著火！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EZdST0rSU
眾仙：啊！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd3DFKdlxd
玉帝：怕什麽。來人，放狗！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOPHg0FHLo
剛說完，孫悟空來了。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OSnU2F4Ij
悟空：玉帝，狗在我這。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTCnL1MUum
玉帝一看，孫悟空用火眼金睛，正在烤一只狗。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIe7QlJN3h8
玉帝：啊！護駕！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiX3m8SKIa
眾仙神護住玉帝。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbg7tG9lgh
悟空：別緊張。等會兒大家一起吃燒烤。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyVCXEBzxo
一會兒，靈霄殿上，到處是火。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpBEMvnjkC
玉帝和太白金星躲在一張桌子下，一杯一杯的不停向身上倒水。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zTGQk30CE
玉帝：愛卿，快幫朕想想辦法。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aQFOp0tXe
太白金星：陛下，聽說西方雷音寺的主持如來，有一坐騎是一條狗，很厲害。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXxhgYsbIH
玉帝：他哪是啥狗？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0BBvTJUp8
太白金星：好像叫佛獒。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvCTgq7hnG
玉帝：速請西方如來！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVF2JqsMCDa
如來騎著佛獒，從靈山雷音寺趕來。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGHkETpxzh
悟空：你哪位？愛吃燒烤嗎？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOam1nnso2
如來：我是西方極樂世界釋迦牟尼尊者，南無阿彌陀佛。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJha77G1HH
悟空：歡迎！一只狗不夠吃，你的這條狗，能不能貢獻一下？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dTExE0EO2
如來：孫悟空，狗是人類最好的朋友。很多人反對、反感吃狗肉，你怎麽一點也不愛護動物？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTI8tPQ04T
悟空：難道你愛護動物？整天騎著狗亂逛，你願意被人騎著亂逛啊？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1DFyjSnzu
如來：額。。。我這條狗名叫佛獒，很兇猛。我騎著它，是防止它咬人。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaRJCiSojh
悟空：防止咬人還會咬人。吃進肚子，省心看管，絕不咬人。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTGtCbclB5
如來：我這條狗，可不好吃！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGH6teISKDl
悟空：調料放全，好吃的很。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡui4OTBRsD4
如來：我先讓你吃一小塊。難吃，你別吃它，留它一條性命。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNZemu9sFg
悟空：先來一條狗腿。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuiBD8JH97
如來：我先給你一只狗掌吧。接著！55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwGCRHOlfa
如來投給孫悟空一只狗掌。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAvyz5KdqG
悟空接住狗掌，發現狗掌上有一串字——唵嘜呢叭嘧吽。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuNcNxi5NR
悟空：你還會微雕？55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvrNckTvU9
突然，狗掌越變越大、越變越大……55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneIP8rKkTy
悟空：這麽大，我可吃不完。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPp6bCfkYy
狗掌化作金木水火土五座聯山，喚名五行山，墜落在地球，重重的把孫悟空壓住。55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0DfJ9i2Fx
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekr6kvYtTM
大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水
刀鋒戰水
篇 #11
第11回 大鬧天宮
喜歡 0
閱讀 51
書籤 0
以 Facebook 帳號登入
或 註册/登入 以留言或加上書籤按此加載下一章
×
寫下你喜歡這個故事的地方
然後按「加至主畫面」