(光陰似梭,日月如箭。不知不覺,已過去N年)45Please respect copyright.PENANAXHysDC8MhV
(一日,菩提祖師高坐聖壇,正在論經講道)45Please respect copyright.PENANACvsdpSZy07
悟空:哈哈哈哈!哈哈哈哈!……45Please respect copyright.PENANA5QWaBDXPQm
菩提祖師:悟空,你不專心聽課,為何大笑?45Please respect copyright.PENANABDPUanhEgK
(悟空在身上摸來摸去,忽然一抖右手,拿出一只小老鼠)45Please respect copyright.PENANAHMvlbLOnUp
悟空:師父,一只小老鼠在我的衣服裏跑來跑去,撓的我癢癢,所以弟子大笑。45Please respect copyright.PENANAN54hgl0UqL
菩提祖師:現在在上課,你不能忍忍嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAEzBZxI8z6t
悟空:弟子已經忍很久。45Please respect copyright.PENANAaO4eZzqG4V
菩提祖師:有多久?45Please respect copyright.PENANA4j0WKOnwqI
悟空:弟子每年都去後山桃樹上吃桃,一共吃了八次。45Please respect copyright.PENANAHzrqfGkt7J
菩提祖師:啊!這麽說,你忍了八年?45Please respect copyright.PENANAi99nScmjWo
悟空:弟子不敢確定。如果後山上的桃是一年兩結果,弟子只忍了四年。45Please respect copyright.PENANAaV2Q5yLjfz
菩提祖師:後山上的桃是一年一結果,你忍了八年!45Please respect copyright.PENANAIPZimPAjcA
悟空:哇!我已經來這兒八年了……45Please respect copyright.PENANAiewFP8Ryd7
菩提祖師:是滴!45Please respect copyright.PENANArTijz2RZv0
悟空:弟子來這兒八年吃桃八年,發現這座山上有一個極其重大的秘密。45Please respect copyright.PENANApLK99cPJPY
菩提祖師:什麽秘密?45Please respect copyright.PENANAM1Q3qRee5l
悟空:弟子每次吃完桃就會拉肚子。45Please respect copyright.PENANA85sT968EnH
菩提祖師:哈哈哈哈!哈哈哈哈!………45Please respect copyright.PENANAvRIfxEXvuN
悟空:師父為何大笑?45Please respect copyright.PENANAZGoF19SpBb
菩提祖師:那後山長桃樹的山叫爛桃山,山上結的桃都是腐爛的桃,你吃了不拉肚子才怪呢!45Please respect copyright.PENANAGJl9S5ysWJ
悟空:弟子吃了八年還在拉,弟子的抵抗力實在太差。45Please respect copyright.PENANA5KoUo3Vb0W
菩提祖師:你的忍耐力到挺強,竟能讓這只老鼠在身上待八年?45Please respect copyright.PENANAGVG5wfknZo
悟空:弟子沒什麽忍耐力。這只老鼠是我八年前在後山上收養的寵物,我一直把它帶在身上。45Please respect copyright.PENANAI6a9n9bZqM
菩提祖師:拿來我看。45Please respect copyright.PENANA9rVjwMvZKU
(悟空把老鼠遞給菩提祖師)45Please respect copyright.PENANA3207c1tFBi
菩提祖師:滿可愛的!悟空,你能不能幫為師在後山捉一只老鼠做寵物?45Please respect copyright.PENANAzQIG81CWlI
悟空:現在不能捉了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAwMzoHFjdFk
菩提祖師:嗯?為什麽?45Please respect copyright.PENANArWAa9MOOau
悟空:現在後山的老鼠滿身的鼠疫,收養那類的老鼠會死。45Please respect copyright.PENANAFiIVTjE5Nz
菩提祖師:你的這只老鼠沒帶鼠疫?45Please respect copyright.PENANAPj1ChJgWXj
悟空:我這只老鼠是只進化鼠,沒鼠疫。45Please respect copyright.PENANAKfxRgPfm2a
菩提祖師:你幫我也捉只進化鼠啊?45Please respect copyright.PENANA7VgLG1dLHR
悟空:沒有了。天地之間僅有這麽一只進化鼠。45Please respect copyright.PENANAx4ilzgrmsy
菩提祖師:這麽說,你這只進化鼠是個寶貝了?45Please respect copyright.PENANAV4DvzmQizR
悟空:是滴。45Please respect copyright.PENANACjwHGk0Xto
菩提祖師:送給為師怎樣?45Please respect copyright.PENANAxEMvCVPJCO
悟空:啊!師父的這個請求……45Please respect copyright.PENANADATxqKj9N6
菩提祖師:孫悟空,你還想不想跟我混了?45Please respect copyright.PENANA3yPhR2rxsF
悟空:師父的這個請求,弟子完全可以滿足。呵呵!45Please respect copyright.PENANAo1lyGIFlo4
菩提祖師:這還差不多!45Please respect copyright.PENANAoYdQMZYdVg
悟空:弟子也有請求,希望師父也能滿足弟子。45Please respect copyright.PENANAcUwDEsftkk
菩提祖師:說!45Please respect copyright.PENANAdolTIESb1V
悟空:我拜你為師八年了,你只是教我經道,一點點法術也沒教我。我來這兒的目的是做神仙,求你老人家教我神仙之術!45Please respect copyright.PENANAvtBvldRDi5
菩提祖師:好吧!你想學哪些神仙之術?45Please respect copyright.PENANA2U82WRQteO
悟空:隨便。只要是神仙用的。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6GJIsRGc5Z
菩提祖師:我教你神仙用的術道如何?45Please respect copyright.PENANADbflPhjPQW
悟空:什麽是術道?45Please respect copyright.PENANAqLzU8zV2Uq
菩提祖師:替人算命用的。45Please respect copyright.PENANAVWeO4e3UwQ
悟空:學會術道,能活多久?45Please respect copyright.PENANA3nehwMPec3
菩提祖師:不過百年。45Please respect copyright.PENANArYCjYpEOZV
悟空:不學!不學!45Please respect copyright.PENANArf26fkWGXo
菩提祖師:我教你神仙用的流道如何?45Please respect copyright.PENANA2kE6OXIal1
悟空:什麽是流道?45Please respect copyright.PENANArLjOIyOs14
菩提祖師:念經用的。凡學會者,可口齒流離的念經誦佛。45Please respect copyright.PENANAW46Plw9LSh
悟空:學會流道,能活多久?45Please respect copyright.PENANAbPvbEXhqtu
菩提祖師:不過百年。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXJWuDvxUZF
悟空:不學!不學!45Please respect copyright.PENANALU5XaCfRBs
菩提祖師:我教你神仙用的靜道如何?45Please respect copyright.PENANA2B9B6XgJkV
悟空:什麽是靜道?45Please respect copyright.PENANAaMlRze2jPy
菩提祖師:蹲點用的。打什麽CS啦、CF啦,以靜製動,殺傷力很大!45Please respect copyright.PENANAuSlgO5Sevb
悟空:學會靜道,能活多久?45Please respect copyright.PENANAl8fUGf4P3D
菩提祖師:不過百年。45Please respect copyright.PENANATcUmfb4YBf
悟空:不學!不學!45Please respect copyright.PENANAlAnvxavvwy
菩提祖師:我教你神仙用的動道如何?45Please respect copyright.PENANA6KikAQoDqc
悟空:動道又是什麽?45Please respect copyright.PENANAwybhJ7nO4n
菩提祖師:是動力學,研究物體運動和物體之間的相互作用。45Please respect copyright.PENANAHqSH9XpZRg
悟空:學會動道,能活多久?45Please respect copyright.PENANAAmIDNqPLLb
菩提祖師:不過百年。45Please respect copyright.PENANAe6ks7CYYSR
悟空:不學!不學!45Please respect copyright.PENANAWn0DMUYl3i
菩提祖師:靠!你這猴子,這又不學那又不學,想學啥啊?!45Please respect copyright.PENANAHURaMO57M8
(啪!啪!啪!菩提祖師給了悟空三個耳光,背手拿著老鼠走了。)45Please respect copyright.PENANABleevUofvA
(夜半三更,悟空悄悄走進菩提祖師的臥床)45Please respect copyright.PENANAjqzE43Msz4
菩提祖師:啊!(猛地醒來)45Please respect copyright.PENANATqvLdYOgpE
悟空:師父!師父!(拜倒在地)45Please respect copyright.PENANAJJWo8BXHEf
菩提祖師:悟空?是你?你半夜三更跑我這幹嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAck1J8DHvnD
悟空:師父打了我三個耳光,背手而走,是暗示弟子今晚三更到此約會。45Please respect copyright.PENANArdFTzy24PA
菩提祖師:啊?誰會跟你約會?!45Please respect copyright.PENANAeQuO43Wc7O
悟空:那我走了。45Please respect copyright.PENANASei8PS20Or
菩提祖師:等等。師父想尿尿,你快幫師父找找便壺。師父有夜盲癥,看不見。45Please respect copyright.PENANARADQJxlMm4
(悟空找到便壺)45Please respect copyright.PENANAI9G7cvlHxl
悟空:師父請用。45Please respect copyright.PENANAxpeumFVxGK
(菩提祖師撒完尿)45Please respect copyright.PENANAKAOCcw2ToH
菩提祖師:好舒服啊!好爽啊!45Please respect copyright.PENANAC2hcCrh34M
悟空:師父,你教弟子長生不老之術,弟子願天天半夜給你找便壺。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6qmHxNvGv9
菩提祖師:哇!你這樣做付出太大了吧?45Please respect copyright.PENANAcDsP3t8GYG
悟空(嚴肅地):弟子心甘情願!45Please respect copyright.PENANAPUfsjJqMf4
菩提祖師:好吧!45Please respect copyright.PENANAgNsz8clhS0
悟空:師父,你答應弟子了?45Please respect copyright.PENANA5jztleLZYv
菩提祖師:嗯啊!45Please respect copyright.PENANAEllfASdiUr
悟空:謝師父!謝師父!謝師父!……(磕頭無數)45Please respect copyright.PENANAewDx2a3hbr
菩提祖師:悟空,為師有個毛病,每天晚上三更就要尿尿一次。因為患有夜盲癥,每天為找便壺在屋裏瞎摸到天亮。有你做幫手,我可以安心睡覺了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAeY0bnQ383V
悟空:師父,那長生不老之術……45Please respect copyright.PENANADZA8KwhCGF
菩提祖師:為師立刻傳你口訣。45Please respect copyright.PENANAAQ2heNsJbi
%^$#@^^&*()_+!@#,*()_$#%*(((&^%$#%。45Please respect copyright.PENANAGCtVrmWPv3
^*((&&^%$##@@@,#$%%^&&*(((*$###。45Please respect copyright.PENANANmu4trX2Ct
@#$%^&&**(OO×,((*&^%%$$##…@#。45Please respect copyright.PENANASi9lNkzD6G
&^%$#%^&(*&^%$,&)(*&^%$###%&*&。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6yfA7Apl0p
(悟空心領神會,練成長生不老之術。)45Please respect copyright.PENANAHilYTtlas9
(第二日夜半三更,悟空準時為菩提祖師找便壺)45Please respect copyright.PENANA0OOEGKYTQp
菩提祖師:悟空,師父教你個變身之法,你想學嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAzP0PljQMqc
悟空:變身之法是什麽?45Please respect copyright.PENANA810YS699Zf
菩提祖師:就是想變什麽就變什麽的法術。45Please respect copyright.PENANApyfYeW2xYl
悟空:想變什麽就變什麽?45Please respect copyright.PENANAmq6T1yfxnS
菩提祖師:嗯啊!45Please respect copyright.PENANA8Y1qt4SVzM
悟空:為什麽要教弟子這個?45Please respect copyright.PENANAw7zwT2NB5R
菩提祖師:我最近上火,喝水特別多,尿的尿也多。我的便壺容量小,裝不下我的尿,你變個便壺給我用。45Please respect copyright.PENANArSPX6YtT02
悟空:啊!這個……45Please respect copyright.PENANAtDfGGTDW0o
菩提祖師:你是不是不願學?45Please respect copyright.PENANASzPvgW6gFN
悟空:弟子願學!弟子願學!45Please respect copyright.PENANA10LzhfqNBF
菩提祖師:好!現有36變和72變,你學哪個?45Please respect copyright.PENANAFqYaL1Qybh
悟空:弟子108變全部想學。45Please respect copyright.PENANAdLwDqFLIgP
菩提祖師:那我叫你72變。45Please respect copyright.PENANAUhSbDdZO0v
悟空:剩下的36變你也教我吧?45Please respect copyright.PENANA3yPNJE077A
菩提祖師:72變已包括36變,學了也是重復。45Please respect copyright.PENANAwweGjI3jDS
悟空:那就學72變。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXY6ogKomCQ
菩提祖師:為師立刻傳你口訣。45Please respect copyright.PENANAoEnb188XNb
%^$#@^^&*()_+!@#,*()_$#%*(((&^%$#%。45Please respect copyright.PENANAkVyPJT4Ri9
^*((&&^%$##@@@,#$%%^&&*(((*$###。45Please respect copyright.PENANAvUucU8Yzaj
@#$%^&&**(OO×,((*&^%%$$##…@#。45Please respect copyright.PENANAVMYOtOA7te
&^%$#%^&(*&^%$,&)(*&^%$###%&*&。45Please respect copyright.PENANAOg7Q8UXrv8
(悟空心領神會,學會72變。)45Please respect copyright.PENANAVExmhg5luQ
(第3日,夜半3更,悟空準時為菩提祖師找便壺)45Please respect copyright.PENANA7COt2KuE7W
菩提祖師:悟空,你會騰雲駕霧嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAkJ8NQDw70s
悟空:什麽是騰雲駕霧?45Please respect copyright.PENANAIxqg6LqKnU
菩提祖師:你會飛嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANADO64PH3gml
悟空:會。45Please respect copyright.PENANAWx8KTajtZu
菩提祖師:你飛給我看看。45Please respect copyright.PENANAyZNUwJwwue
悟空:我飛!我飛!我飛!……(在屋裏跳來跳去)45Please respect copyright.PENANA1kfF3uKGKn
菩提祖師:你這是飛還是跳啊?45Please respect copyright.PENANAeppDnq1XvG
悟空:屋裏的空間小,我只能跳給你看。45Please respect copyright.PENANAHWJfXqJKA6
菩提祖師:我們去外面,你飛飛給我看。45Please respect copyright.PENANArPucalhs52
悟空:師父,現在是半夜,我飛到空中怕撞到不明飛行物,更怕被外星人劫持。等天亮我飛給你看吧。45Please respect copyright.PENANAhbMD0mqa1o
菩提祖師:有道理。45Please respect copyright.PENANAjLyogEOkcq
(次日天亮,兩人來到洞外空曠之處)45Please respect copyright.PENANA0GcQqYWDs5
菩提祖師:悟空,現在你可以放心的飛了。45Please respect copyright.PENANApBMlwVSIBq
悟空:我飛——!45Please respect copyright.PENANAFWkKcSgkzQ
(悟空飛到半空,落回原地)45Please respect copyright.PENANAOpacKvIaxF
悟空:師父,我飛的怎樣?45Please respect copyright.PENANAoBeZa9Pilg
菩提祖師:速度太慢!45Please respect copyright.PENANArchjsDf6Fv
悟空:弟子飛回地面很快,速度還慢?45Please respect copyright.PENANAhUZgAG6B76
菩提祖師:我已經在這兒等你3天了!45Please respect copyright.PENANATCZKA648Q6
悟空:啊!沒那麽誇張吧?45Please respect copyright.PENANASDCEGwOlaj
菩提祖師:你現在神仙。做為神仙,飛,要做到朝遊四海暮蒼梧。45Please respect copyright.PENANAr82CyCCmD7
悟空:不解!45Please respect copyright.PENANAcSYpUnKy7E
菩提祖師:就是說,神仙從北面飛到南面、從南面又飛到西面、從西面又飛到東面、從東面又飛回北面,要在24小時內完成。45Please respect copyright.PENANA1C1UvZxm2V
悟空:那樣東西南北的飛很累吧?45Please respect copyright.PENANAFRIJaa1otl
菩提祖師:飛的速度快不累。45Please respect copyright.PENANAmqAM4ZO6dz
悟空:怎麽飛速度就快了?45Please respect copyright.PENANAmUMxtwxRcv
菩提祖師:師父教你個頭跟雲!45Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4zUmsS493
悟空:頭跟雲?45Please respect copyright.PENANAfk2TbRPOS2
菩提祖師:錯了,是跟頭雲!45Please respect copyright.PENANA1gEQbx1UIw
悟空:速度有多快?45Please respect copyright.PENANA1KRWOYs1eg
菩提祖師:翻一個跟頭能飛出十萬八千裏!45Please respect copyright.PENANA0ccaW5YXJq
悟空:要手足顛倒的翻跟頭?45Please respect copyright.PENANAywk4QpgpMy
菩提祖師:是滴!所以師父把跟頭雲說成了頭跟雲。45Please respect copyright.PENANAyJbC3wG7QI
悟空:一個跟頭飛出十萬八千裏,有沒有達到光速?45Please respect copyright.PENANA9bFXoY2TNs
菩提祖師:經為師精確計算,已經是超光速。45Please respect copyright.PENANAiyO9vBzgvA
悟空:那麽高的速度,身體與空氣產生摩擦,身上會不會起火嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANASAJOK4QXZj
菩提祖師:自身不會。45Please respect copyright.PENANA8z3mnvFL6e
悟空:太好了!如果帶一頭豬飛,就可以吃烤豬了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAIPGImM8AhS
菩提祖師:是啊!為師愛吃烤羊,經常帶一只羊飛。45Please respect copyright.PENANAia2JnMTB7R
悟空:師父,快教弟子跟頭雲!弟子學會跟頭雲,要做的第一件事是讓你吃烤全羊!45Please respect copyright.PENANA2RByZqa94d
菩提祖師:為師立刻傳你跟頭雲的飛行口訣。45Please respect copyright.PENANAtlUq2Abw96
%^$#@^^&*()_+!@#,*()_$#%*(((&^%$#%。45Please respect copyright.PENANAU3vV3Dshsl
^*((&&^%$##@@@,#$%%^&&*(((*$###。45Please respect copyright.PENANABSAexZIIIQ
@#$%^&&**(OO×,((*&^%%$$##…@#。45Please respect copyright.PENANAuf2GeaHf95
&^%$#%^&(*&^%$,&)(*&^%$###%&*&。45Please respect copyright.PENANAGxKUS35x66
(悟空心領神會,又學會跟頭雲。)45Please respect copyright.PENANAVPCShw8NJA
(某日,菩提祖師穩坐高壇,講經論道)45Please respect copyright.PENANA4kdSxeKpuo
菩提祖師:哎呀!疼死我了!45Please respect copyright.PENANAuyNgICGYvA
悟空:師父?45Please respect copyright.PENANAslaYgMj7YP
眾弟子:師父,怎麽了?45Please respect copyright.PENANAT4ydMm12ic
(菩提祖師伸手從衣服裏抓出一只血淋淋的老鼠)45Please respect copyright.PENANAUuCEglO70m
悟空:我的進化鼠?45Please respect copyright.PENANA1pXP2rfllS
菩提祖師:悟空,你送我的這死耗子怎麽咬我?!45Please respect copyright.PENANA7urg7zI3I7
眾弟子:師父,你沒事吧?45Please respect copyright.PENANA4sYOgG1zCs
菩提祖師:哎呀!疼死我了!快叫醫生!快叫醫生!45Please respect copyright.PENANAXjZtoqFMjh
悟空:師父,我的進化鼠沒鼠疫,咬你一口只是皮外傷。45Please respect copyright.PENANA8L1QolGiAD
菩提祖師:是沒鼠疫,可它有毒!我現在中毒啦!45Please respect copyright.PENANAVYu3XWpiOY
悟空:意外。45Please respect copyright.PENANA4fQ34Slzn3
菩提祖師:仙童,把這只老鼠餵貓!(狠狠的把老鼠仍在地上)45Please respect copyright.PENANAsPapfyWtoU
仙童:遵命。45Please respect copyright.PENANAIYB2M0iuXx
悟空:師父,這只進化鼠貓不敢吃。45Please respect copyright.PENANA3ODrSdBSif
菩提祖師:我有一只進化貓,專吃進化鼠。45Please respect copyright.PENANAFVhtsvCxW9
悟空:啊!45Please respect copyright.PENANAK0qVlwl10u
(喵~!一只貓跑來,一口把老鼠吃了!)45Please respect copyright.PENANAXzLEtl9pFc
悟空:鼠兄,我的鼠兄!你我兄弟情同手足,肝膽相照,沒想到今天你落個死無全屍、死無葬身之地!55555……(嚎啕大哭!)45Please respect copyright.PENANAxdmfJYyNXB
菩提祖師:孫悟空,今日你我師徒關系一刀兩斷!45Please respect copyright.PENANAaXw06HD7aM
悟空:沒這麽嚴重吧?只是有毒的老鼠咬你一口。45Please respect copyright.PENANASbrcR91C2m
菩提祖師:可那毒耗子這麽一咬,毀了我300年的道行!55555……45Please respect copyright.PENANArbuVDdsoVZ
悟空:什嘛?!45Please respect copyright.PENANAfmqbuVa5gY
菩提祖師:悟空,為師不責罰你。你給為師一個深刻的教訓。從此以後,為師再也不養寵物了!45Please respect copyright.PENANAfnnNwhBSqu
悟空:我……45Please respect copyright.PENANAn7Fu9hz6Ki
菩提祖師:你已被逐出師門,回你的花果山去吧。45Please respect copyright.PENANA5gF5u75C2s
悟空(跪地流淚):師父,弟子還想給你老人家找便壺,為你老人家變便壺用。45Please respect copyright.PENANAsijKJQqJv4
菩提祖師:你走吧,你走吧。45Please respect copyright.PENANAgJU15ynaL3
悟空:弟子還等著師父改個好聽的名字……45Please respect copyright.PENANAAXOMIDq6c3
菩提祖師:你走不走?再不走,我讓進化貓咬你的JJ。45Please respect copyright.PENANASJnnyWWWIQ
悟空:啊!我走,我走。45Please respect copyright.PENANATaynNB5AWR
菩提祖師:快走!45Please respect copyright.PENANA2K41kYIMHb
(悟空含淚拜別菩提祖師,一個跟頭飛向花果山)45Please respect copyright.PENANA78ul9hoT5z
45Please respect copyright.PENANAHjVVTtW0gt
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大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水

篇 #3
第03回 七十二變
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