孫悟空降至花果山水簾洞，走路搖搖擺擺，全身帶著酒氣。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLRWkuJoEX
悟空：小的們！我回來啦！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpfO7kSY3K
通背猿猴帶著一幫猴子歡呼圍上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncE4ZD0ZLX
通背猿猴：大王，你老人家可回來了！你這一去，100多年！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUxGiscUlK
悟空：啊。你怎麽計算的？我只離開半年。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6Lmx71YNU
通背猿猴：你忘啦，天上一天，地下一年。100多年前，我對你說過。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLFrN7XyeL
悟空：你半年前這麽說。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx1kukH4LM
通背猿猴：我100多年前說的。你以後上天，記下天數，寫在紙上。在天數後加個「年」字，這個數字便是地上的年數。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfvFsNst46
悟空：有別的計算方法嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajZL7RWhuM
通背猿猴：你用筆，也可以把年先寫上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMfCOEYgNg
悟空：天數加年，2個我一塊寫。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxkdie0F1f
通背猿猴：100多年沒見面，我們好想你！55555……（傷感地大哭）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXKdkmuRos
悟空：想我想哭了？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MlNo3Vrdg
通背猿猴：嗯。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HDU9aIyKE
悟空：額。（吐了一口）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiCiwfLTM3
通背猿猴：大王，你怎麽了？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mqFLwV3nW
悟空：我也想你們！額。（又吐了一口）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYhVFF1EFZ
通背猿猴：哪不舒服？你在吐呢。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApWN7Jlvmx
悟空：沒。是我想你們想的，吐了。（又吐幾口）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm8E3jTUKH
通背猿猴：你想我們挺多的！玉帝封你做齊天大聖沒？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1yhERSlnd
悟空：封了。在天宮舉行的冊封儀式，使我終生難忘。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxHbJGE6av
通背猿猴：大王，描述一下冊封儀式，怎樣？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIdN81S9US
悟空：不了。我終生難忘的，我知道就行。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOMnOQSHLo
通背猿猴：描述100多年前的事，回憶一下美好時光。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BpyrD6fwf
悟空：我累了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20z46Iciuj
撲騰一聲，孫悟空倒在地上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMmgRr4DzV
通背猿猴：是醉了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIZK3XX7dT
天宮。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg9MfK9sVK
靈霄殿上，玉帝的臥底土地，進見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusnRuKcSMb
土地：陛下，蟠桃園又大又圓的仙桃，都被孫悟空偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacKpZxygtI
玉帝：啊！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhiB6Q018o
一會兒，太上老君進見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiLqHf83rI
太上老君：陛下，我嘔心瀝血煉的九轉金丹，都被孫悟空偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXcA6EIxgE
玉帝：啊！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvi53SYBsY
又一會兒，王母進見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwUDHyArmv
王母：陛下，我準備的蟠桃宴，弄了很多酒菜，都被孫悟空偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnG5hNJLU1e
玉帝：孫悟空啊孫悟空，你這個吃貨！你敢偷吃我吃的東西？！孫悟空在哪？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoTWcEb3oe
太上老君：天宮的監視鏡顯示，孫悟空已返回花果山。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jFTt4UI5l
玉帝：誰願下界捉拿吃貨孫悟空？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugKgp0fgmr
托塔天王：我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZ8tx6tPkQ
哪咤：我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkhoCkseDt
巨靈神：我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Pu2r4AK0R
玉帝：天王，又是你們3個。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiQYMBfR7W
托塔天王：這次可以加幾個。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZhDHlOs7l
玉帝：我給你天兵10萬。記住，這次要給孫悟空一個群毆。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJUoiIDKRQ
托塔天王：這麽多人群毆一個，要排隊掛號。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgSBUq4Szc
玉帝：不能排隊，不能掛號。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhAMb28mu4
托塔天王：一定做到。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rPdlrTYS4
李托塔、哪咤、巨靈神，帶天兵10萬，一路出師下界。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5V2SNE8pz
路上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRH7aIAR5W
哪咤：父王，我們10多萬人，怎麽做到群毆一個？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUwmK3b6ST
托塔天王：簡單。10多萬人停在花果山上空，一起向下扔兵器。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDVwAdwUwM
巨靈神：太血腥了吧？花果山會血流成河。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1h86FEH5vN
托塔天王：下一場大雨沖洗幹凈了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWFztzM2q9
巨靈神：一場大雨能解決麽？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP6M6zum6y
托塔天王：我看行。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAorjDBcl5G
巨靈神：我看不行。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDVJ6McgoV
托塔天王：不行再下第二場、第三場，直到沖洗幹凈收場！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiCnmJYxTD
巨靈神：我看也行了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtMc1qeB4K
這一日，花果山陽光明媚，萬裏無雲。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwucO1dEGI
孫悟空正在和眾猴飲酒狂歡。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7g6wmWStJr
半空中，托塔天王、哪咤、巨靈神出現。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTWsNiDzMT
托塔天王：孫悟空！你偷吃仙桃、偷喝仙酒、偷吃仙丹。玉帝派我將你這個吃貨捉拿歸案！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nLdlHmYwf
悟空：又來捉我？上次捉我失敗，這次，你有沒有做好心理準備？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0fRWzJO1G
托塔天王：有。這次準備群毆你。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfLnYJ5uIX
悟空：群毆？你們3個？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwU3NwKIm8
托塔天王：我還有10萬天兵斷後。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLHBCgSfOk
悟空：總共10萬多3人？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzr1uMBjTk
托塔天王：人多也能群毆你！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJhHxC2dWN
悟空：失敗，失敗。我這花果山上上下下，也是10萬人多出3個。這次，只能1對1單挑。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX8EojjxqT
托塔天王：啊！是嗎？這可怎麽辦？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuo1pSWJb7b
巨靈神：天王，我們按原計劃開戰吧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYh2k0gMCq
托塔天王：不能！敵我雙方的人數對等，不能群毆。開戰，違抗玉帝旨意。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf1wLpQl6q
哪咤：父王，我向玉帝請求支援。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrE80ysuOOf
托塔天王：快。我先做好群毆準備，圍住花果山。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgIbeuliVn
花果山上空，集聚10萬天兵，遮住太陽，天黑了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUWOhTkCWi
眾猴：大王，我們害怕。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YPIMn4A53
悟空：天黑怕什麽？來人，掌燈。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dSf5Twj0H
頓時，花果山上萬家燈火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQBTvruJLh
哪咤返回天宮，在南天門遇見玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFP60SGzja
玉帝十分關心花果山戰況，正和群臣在南天門觀戰。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdYjz4akCj
哪咤：陛下！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18znqyguAU
玉帝：3太子，前方戰事如何？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9WYBfisYC
哪咤：急需增兵。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlY2kadnjyh
玉帝：10萬兵力也不夠？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4ieCXqp4N
哪咤：孫悟空的兵力也是10萬，不能群毆。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRcKYkzx1r
玉帝：啊！天宮的總兵力只有10萬。諸位仙臣，這可咋辦？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6egFaaD7bO
突然，一道霞光閃過，南海觀世音路過。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2IgMasgQo
觀音：諸位好！我們一起參加蟠桃宴會吧？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3DXyzCvhG
王母：蟠桃宴會的飯菜，被下界一個叫孫悟空的猴子偷吃了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQcsPh8zZx
觀音：陛下，真的麽？求證一下。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjBqvOiG2d
玉帝：真的。我後悔，當初多花錢、多招兵買馬，多好。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2JJHgxWDa
觀音：孫悟空很厲害麽？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXvqAfYBpc
玉帝：那猴子偷吃仙桃、偷吃仙丹、偷喝仙酒，是一個擁有兵力10萬之多，很厲害的一個吃貨！觀愛卿，你可有法子對付？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T9AeG8P4Z
觀音：我推薦一位。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBX0Zlfbu1d
玉帝：直說。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmaM0Hqz8p
觀音：二郎神。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdtdNNgfac
玉帝：2——郎神？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZrHPtX8us
觀音：二郎神現居灌江口，享受下方香火，他也是一個吃貨。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCJ2fNOUcY
玉帝：行麽？聽到2我擔心。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pB8s1v3x6
觀音：放心。你別忘了，一貨擒一貨。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Hlb9vNfXn
玉帝：他還是2貨吧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQBAjnkXDo
觀音：二郎神可以一抵萬！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v6Knqph3P
玉帝：好！增兵一萬，宣2郎神迎戰孫悟空。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslxUAEn14n
哪咤帶著二郎神，見到托塔天王。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtpZz7X92l
哪咤：增兵到。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AdOzYDj29
托塔天王：增兵多少？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwgF0RMzKv
哪咤：一萬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzFcqA9gIq
托塔天王：在哪？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3L7RtF0eV
二郎神：我。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkXK8TEKpj
托塔天王：怎麽帶來一個人？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBwOZuDcq8
哪咤：父王，觀音和玉帝都說，他可以以一抵萬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3Jrh7TA3B
托塔天王：超兵一萬，夠群毆了。天兵聽令，舉起你們手中的兵器，群毆開始。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYkWkq5lp2
二郎神：慢。聽說孫悟空和我一樣，都是吃貨。在群毆之前，我想單獨和孫悟空交流一下。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yhTNpVg9y
托塔天王：你交流快點。手舉著兵器，挺累的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡye45R4CAPQ
相貌清俊、秀氣的二郎神，手拿三尖兩刃槍，步伐輕盈的走在花果山上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7K5NrixZJ
眾猴：好帥喔！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwV9IdaYSvR
悟空：帥哥，你哪位？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUf7p3qTWMA
二郎神：我是號稱以一抵萬的灌江口吃貨……81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QXcZRB6op
悟空：同吃，同吃。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jFu2y5LIO
二郎神：帥氣稱霸一方，至今還單身、還沒經歷初戀、還是處男的二郎神！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X54BpbrND
悟空：沒感覺。我男的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaeWHTbSMv
二郎神一轉身，不知從那拿出一朵花，含在嘴裏。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmOgK4PQRN
悟空：說了沒感覺，你擺Pose也沒用。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXk4IpnPQV
二郎神：知道這是什麽花？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpNP0lklo5
悟空：鮮花。我這花果山多的是。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzwblfBSUT
二郎神：錯！這是一朵只在冬天盛開的梅花。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaowETvLN6q
悟空：喔。這種花，花果山可沒有。你那多不多？我打算移植到花果山。等花果山上下雪，我想身臨其境「墻角樹枝美，唯有暗香來」的詩境。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWsqmEW2U6
二郎神：知道這是什麽神器麽？（手指自己的兵器）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhtSKBWyoQ
悟空：怪怪的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aiijy3Yhh
二郎神：這是上古神器——三尖兩刃槍。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRYXBQAkrD
悟空：三刃兩尖槍？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft9VPD2a1M
二郎神：三尖兩刃槍。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIym1Qb2Np
悟空：幹脆簡稱三尖槍，聽到這麽憋口的武器名字，沒心情和你打了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetkLjDwiKn
二郎神：誰說和你打？我只想在群毆前，會會你。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8iEMKkoHJ
悟空：多你一個，也看不出群毆的效果。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx3tSpJAsu
二郎神：我可是以一抵萬。多我一個，等於多了一萬人。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9FVwAzxB6
悟空：好吧。這次天宮對我群毆的挑戰，我接受。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM2PRGnMSJ
二郎神：等著群毆吧你！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7raz4322mz
悟空：現在還沒開始，你我先過幾招，預熱一下，咋樣？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxu5pcKf7YJ
二郎神：現在10萬人圍著花果山，你不覺得熱嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQCnZE7ftG
悟空：我有點缺氧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oMG81SGM5
二郎神：同感。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyXTFxScA8
孫悟空和二郎神開始做深呼吸。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWOj0dJxGp
悟空：我還沒和處男打過，你和我打一場，破破我的處吧。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjmNsppXmt
二郎神：不打。等天上的兵器扔你。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BhrzrUppf
悟空：你一個人打敗我，拿個頭等功。知名度一提高，會吸引很多美女。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkTBCw9clJ
二郎神：開打。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWdOcMBZtw
兩個人的兵器一碰，三尖槍斷了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFzjpQqqne
二郎神：啊！我的神器！55555……（大哭）81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvoes4kvsc
悟空：什麽神器，不堪一擊。要麽是次品，要麽是膺品，要麽是仿品。不要為它難過了。回家找個不是奸商的鐵匠，重新打造一件。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6FvhUJumA
二郎神：我的真是上古神器。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMtnwvoHvW
悟空：是麽？我這根棍子，是上上古的神器，你的材質沒我的好。不要為它難過了。回家買件上上上古的，肯定比我的好。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwshhVKNMR2
二郎神：我要為我的神器報仇！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeQVykjIdX
悟空：你回家買一件再說。過幾天，我約你再戰。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFBgmCp49S
二郎神：我還帶著一件上古神器呢。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SzwTnWh13
悟空：留著吧，別斷了再傷心。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSRpErzItF
二郎神把2指頭伸進嘴裏，吹了一聲口哨。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1urJTXZTAw
悟空：這也算神器？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Nhl2YNA5Y
口哨一吹，不知從那冒出一條狗，在孫悟空腿上咬了一口。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4IivvuF8J
悟空：疼死我了！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkkbFEqL2S
二郎神：哈哈哈。這是我的第二件神器——上古神犬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedpmGVxrjP
悟空：有沒有狂犬病？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO93Ug158m
二郎神：不確定。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXZmcIlO1Y
悟空：來人！我要看醫生！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqQuPH0BKc
南天門的大門口。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRZCBb8h4i
觀音：孫悟空被二郎神打傷了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8AHcp5Jae
玉帝：貌似不是2郎神傷的。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOzvWRRZDH
太上老君：陛下，我可助二郎神一臂之力。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPKRqCvONi
玉帝：你也養狗？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKv0szgNkU
太上老君：我沒養狗，但我有一個套狗的金剛圈。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRISciQLzd
玉帝：能套猴子嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJqqv5CfqT
太上老君：都是動物，應該可以。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yPnr5EAGr
說著，老君拿出金剛圈，瞄準孫悟空，把金剛圈發射出去。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBuytRcjer
孫悟空還在忍痛求救，沒註意天上掉下東西，被金剛圈砸中頭部，暈倒了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qv03yMtiL
二郎神叫來托塔天王，將其繩索捆綁，返回天宮。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM7Eu3UI15
孫悟空被天兵押到斬妖臺，玉帝率眾觀斬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPugFqAUZ1
玉帝：孫悟空，沒想到，你怕狗。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFdj1XG2Io
悟空：剛才，是誰扔磚砸我頭的？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQf5wMIfnS
太上老君：不是磚，是金剛圈。你恨我吧？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1JTwqmarC
悟空：謝謝你！我被你的金剛圈點穴，止住大動脈，控製了狂犬病毒在我體內的擴散。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlFqPr8Zqq
太上老君：啊。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpWTv8cj94
悟空：諸位，我被狗咬了。和我保持一定距離，小心狂犬病。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6B3hbOPVD
玉帝：開斬！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjziQHTVS9p
悟空：等等。我是仙不是妖，不能在斬妖臺斬我。求換地方。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcxbN3CAbD
玉帝：換什麽地方。把「妖」改成「仙」，筆墨伺候。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1jCATCoaN
在斬妖仙臺，孫悟空被刀砍斧剁，火燒雷擊。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaQ4jFED9L
悟空：我死了沒有？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVVCHdv55e
玉帝：啊！怎麽還不死？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfAqF9bCLM
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空偷吃仙界食物，已是金剛之身，殺他的方法不對啊。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4SF5oQiwr
玉帝：咋辦？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobLa6o1ajP
太上老君：把孫悟空放進我的八卦爐，扣緊蓋子，煉上7749天，他化成金水，能煉出金子。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnoJ0j7dUX
玉帝：太好啦！煉出金子，可以招兵買馬。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudycHpJcj1
孫悟空被天兵押到兜率宮。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7MGRr2gjy
太上老君：把孫悟空推進八卦爐。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylyoN7EZ8h
悟空：真要把我煉成黃金？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoV70aIZVTB
太上老君：玉帝急需用錢。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2slZlKb2cm
悟空：這裏有沒有浴池？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Vigf6DTSs
太上老君：想幹嘛？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNwni8LJZK
悟空：我想脫掉衣服，洗洗澡，去趟廁所。可以確保煉出黃金的含金率在99.9999999%以上。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5xdRrOVRS
太上老君：放心的進去吧！我這爐子煉成的黃金，都是100%的純度。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLufQtNflAF
悟空：需要煉我多久？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDKIT2ZxOd
太上老君：7749天。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pg2DJWBf5
悟空：盡量快些。我很想體驗一下，變成黃金的感覺。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczZJyTdyMb
1天，2天，3天………7749天後。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTRAnvWkpG
太上老君：開爐！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooqvCfqmuH
老君探頭向爐中一看，看到2個圓圓的、閃閃發光的東西。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNMuX0J7Oa
太上老君：哈哈！孫悟空被煉成金蛋啦！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytYpvhKdGz
說著，伸手去拿金蛋。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jYwVw8RG2
只聽爐內「哎呀」一聲！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Nhnuno3c8
爐內：誰插我？誰插我？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsSsBZgR5r
太上老君：我的金蛋！我的金蛋！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjELAmA8Kv
爐內：哪個王八蛋插我？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOlhn4orQG
呼！孫悟空從爐內跳出來。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8NoN9t9Em
悟空：哪個王八蛋插我眼睛？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA8JUBIPRS
這時，老君才看清楚，發光的2個金蛋，是孫悟空的2只眼睛。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRbViPFs3e
太上老君：孫悟空，你怎麽還沒死？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoYfmx8Xgb
悟空：我也想知道。我怎麽還沒變黃金？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2ez00y8Ia
太上老君：你的眼睛已變成黃金。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEg8O4E8uC
悟空：多謝了。我的眼睛已經變成火眼金睛！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERQ2LJIFCc
太上老君：有什麽了不起。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKmMJqkBEI
突然，老君的衣服起火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgSmWFnyN9
太上老君：啊！孫悟空，不要用你的眼睛看我！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCW4lPKrdN
兜率宮內，孫悟空眼睛看到的地方，急速起火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasBtSCThth
太上老君極速報知靈霄殿的玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmTXdJnxoQ
太上老君：陛下，備水！備水！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8dUmuR4QS
玉帝剛好喝下一口茶，看到老君衣服冒火，嘴裏一噴水，火滅了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDhNgS2dBm
玉帝：老君，你煉金小心點。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ESFfgsaIb
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空從火爐逃出，還煉成一對火眼金睛，看到什麽就使什麽著火！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtRoUgt56z
眾仙：啊！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINloAfx6Mh
玉帝：怕什麽。來人，放狗！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZ1UUiyu82
剛說完，孫悟空來了。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpDA8lNZZt
悟空：玉帝，狗在我這。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpP3fgrtoui
玉帝一看，孫悟空用火眼金睛，正在烤一只狗。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r4sVRN31Z
玉帝：啊！護駕！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjcfNLALCW
眾仙神護住玉帝。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAhDC4DETO
悟空：別緊張。等會兒大家一起吃燒烤。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2LcGXjO3Z
一會兒，靈霄殿上，到處是火。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hAqynhs70
玉帝和太白金星躲在一張桌子下，一杯一杯的不停向身上倒水。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBGFiXqldY
玉帝：愛卿，快幫朕想想辦法。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeyYW1x3kI
太白金星：陛下，聽說西方雷音寺的主持如來，有一坐騎是一條狗，很厲害。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATRUxhunMH
玉帝：他哪是啥狗？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaDeVQAVtW
太白金星：好像叫佛獒。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipx0lZlFp8
玉帝：速請西方如來！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkx6kQU6vo
如來騎著佛獒，從靈山雷音寺趕來。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KGLoUwOGq
悟空：你哪位？愛吃燒烤嗎？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrEd7WrmXU
如來：我是西方極樂世界釋迦牟尼尊者，南無阿彌陀佛。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJkm8N1VjL
悟空：歡迎！一只狗不夠吃，你的這條狗，能不能貢獻一下？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcKKOJu2dO
如來：孫悟空，狗是人類最好的朋友。很多人反對、反感吃狗肉，你怎麽一點也不愛護動物？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtXRY5mqNJ
悟空：難道你愛護動物？整天騎著狗亂逛，你願意被人騎著亂逛啊？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaD12CVyie
如來：額。。。我這條狗名叫佛獒，很兇猛。我騎著它，是防止它咬人。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L25JPkxYm
悟空：防止咬人還會咬人。吃進肚子，省心看管，絕不咬人。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAovxFQLmro
如來：我這條狗，可不好吃！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcejkPK8b27
悟空：調料放全，好吃的很。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9k05RLx0C
如來：我先讓你吃一小塊。難吃，你別吃它，留它一條性命。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN56k7Bn1wX
悟空：先來一條狗腿。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6afbYc5mz
如來：我先給你一只狗掌吧。接著！81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0ny7Yr2qX
如來投給孫悟空一只狗掌。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmrWIYl6lK
悟空接住狗掌，發現狗掌上有一串字——唵嘜呢叭嘧吽。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPkI0ZJoFz
悟空：你還會微雕？81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59FkG6s9vr
突然，狗掌越變越大、越變越大……81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjmTVKB3yB
悟空：這麽大，我可吃不完。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0NHoht2CG
狗掌化作金木水火土五座聯山，喚名五行山，墜落在地球，重重的把孫悟空壓住。81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LXnD8SnG2
81Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXbjuKIGOB
大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水
刀鋒戰水
篇 #11
第11回 大鬧天宮
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