孫悟空降至花果山水簾洞，走路搖搖擺擺，全身帶著酒氣。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYoYugXm9B
悟空：小的們！我回來啦！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qQVkUcCde
通背猿猴帶著一幫猴子歡呼圍上。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R9DVfLMgk
通背猿猴：大王，你老人家可回來了！你這一去，100多年！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMkqLBoKrd
悟空：啊。你怎麽計算的？我只離開半年。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTEzOMtgAm
通背猿猴：你忘啦，天上一天，地下一年。100多年前，我對你說過。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5zxSdeGze
悟空：你半年前這麽說。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3watdGJrR
通背猿猴：我100多年前說的。你以後上天，記下天數，寫在紙上。在天數後加個「年」字，這個數字便是地上的年數。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshuiLxRPUM
悟空：有別的計算方法嗎？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVE9T2wHhB
通背猿猴：你用筆，也可以把年先寫上。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpKj2JBVeR
悟空：天數加年，2個我一塊寫。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡankJtiDIhq
通背猿猴：100多年沒見面，我們好想你！55555……（傷感地大哭）58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcQmfOH2Op
悟空：想我想哭了？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHT3LChCOE
通背猿猴：嗯。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiEtBthxfp
悟空：額。（吐了一口）58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVr75tPKNh
通背猿猴：大王，你怎麽了？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDn9tYNTseJ
悟空：我也想你們！額。（又吐了一口）58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicSffcnPLC
通背猿猴：哪不舒服？你在吐呢。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwBpMUvjoq
悟空：沒。是我想你們想的，吐了。（又吐幾口）58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Lw5VKixVJ
通背猿猴：你想我們挺多的！玉帝封你做齊天大聖沒？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO7vHC7Eyq
悟空：封了。在天宮舉行的冊封儀式，使我終生難忘。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQQYgnC50V
通背猿猴：大王，描述一下冊封儀式，怎樣？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtr5RMuYKG
悟空：不了。我終生難忘的，我知道就行。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKliLoURNDb
通背猿猴：描述100多年前的事，回憶一下美好時光。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T4Oc0oSRp
悟空：我累了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr9o45jehQ
撲騰一聲，孫悟空倒在地上。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmyHDeUi50
通背猿猴：是醉了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgMb2ABoND
天宮。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7hwGudCw6
靈霄殿上，玉帝的臥底土地，進見玉帝。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOs8Vf7PBv
土地：陛下，蟠桃園又大又圓的仙桃，都被孫悟空偷吃了！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mwpFQOo41
玉帝：啊！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtgSHOCxFc
一會兒，太上老君進見玉帝。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5rARwNWa1
太上老君：陛下，我嘔心瀝血煉的九轉金丹，都被孫悟空偷吃了！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnms8mbJOS
玉帝：啊！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG2qQpVCPb
又一會兒，王母進見玉帝。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA7IDiFJhN
王母：陛下，我準備的蟠桃宴，弄了很多酒菜，都被孫悟空偷吃了！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITXuvhKNzG
玉帝：孫悟空啊孫悟空，你這個吃貨！你敢偷吃我吃的東西？！孫悟空在哪？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDd3ePrCM3
太上老君：天宮的監視鏡顯示，孫悟空已返回花果山。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQm59I7pQS6
玉帝：誰願下界捉拿吃貨孫悟空？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7UfAQMZBp
托塔天王：我！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzakymxJXb
哪咤：我！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4yyq1MSoN
巨靈神：我！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UEuU2q8Hw
玉帝：天王，又是你們3個。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CkoIMOIsy
托塔天王：這次可以加幾個。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB885F2Nck
玉帝：我給你天兵10萬。記住，這次要給孫悟空一個群毆。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrnkGBKVf0
托塔天王：這麽多人群毆一個，要排隊掛號。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6LvMyr392
玉帝：不能排隊，不能掛號。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNpdf8Z08U
托塔天王：一定做到。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQG7gT8xhW
李托塔、哪咤、巨靈神，帶天兵10萬，一路出師下界。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9r3RjffWV
路上。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BXGYq2fuu
哪咤：父王，我們10多萬人，怎麽做到群毆一個？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7l66lt17MJ
托塔天王：簡單。10多萬人停在花果山上空，一起向下扔兵器。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqQNpE8Hq0
巨靈神：太血腥了吧？花果山會血流成河。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjWLDWqndb
托塔天王：下一場大雨沖洗幹凈了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjCu6K2KJS
巨靈神：一場大雨能解決麽？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcsSU7zIiv
托塔天王：我看行。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqcGsMrSfi
巨靈神：我看不行。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYFeVcFhzd
托塔天王：不行再下第二場、第三場，直到沖洗幹凈收場！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqoabaXryS
巨靈神：我看也行了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMThnEyS9o4
這一日，花果山陽光明媚，萬裏無雲。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYRsJiGsJS
孫悟空正在和眾猴飲酒狂歡。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9EiDsKEoy
半空中，托塔天王、哪咤、巨靈神出現。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXjgR4onHg
托塔天王：孫悟空！你偷吃仙桃、偷喝仙酒、偷吃仙丹。玉帝派我將你這個吃貨捉拿歸案！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtzTjwizLv
悟空：又來捉我？上次捉我失敗，這次，你有沒有做好心理準備？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKFSchDNXW
托塔天王：有。這次準備群毆你。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJijsKQMGO
悟空：群毆？你們3個？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGnBPmBr5A
托塔天王：我還有10萬天兵斷後。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwEhCa9S8M
悟空：總共10萬多3人？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwI2ILehGG
托塔天王：人多也能群毆你！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2fQwCKcPo
悟空：失敗，失敗。我這花果山上上下下，也是10萬人多出3個。這次，只能1對1單挑。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFnFGMnCIB
托塔天王：啊！是嗎？這可怎麽辦？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaZ1yitkfg
巨靈神：天王，我們按原計劃開戰吧。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YqEZIOOUW
托塔天王：不能！敵我雙方的人數對等，不能群毆。開戰，違抗玉帝旨意。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptudxK46di
哪咤：父王，我向玉帝請求支援。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHicpkFslJQ
托塔天王：快。我先做好群毆準備，圍住花果山。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2khXZyriMa
花果山上空，集聚10萬天兵，遮住太陽，天黑了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8K9WYKeSh
眾猴：大王，我們害怕。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKX1lttMLp
悟空：天黑怕什麽？來人，掌燈。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJ0oJp8sdm
頓時，花果山上萬家燈火。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCt8RMkRlx
哪咤返回天宮，在南天門遇見玉帝。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rNiR1xAJs
玉帝十分關心花果山戰況，正和群臣在南天門觀戰。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtPpAAUMiI
哪咤：陛下！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGPHbnEA4N
玉帝：3太子，前方戰事如何？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxYH5cUDJZ
哪咤：急需增兵。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKWXcwGi9O
玉帝：10萬兵力也不夠？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqpwcvycxI
哪咤：孫悟空的兵力也是10萬，不能群毆。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxYSOjCnqz
玉帝：啊！天宮的總兵力只有10萬。諸位仙臣，這可咋辦？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9jCaUcTQq
突然，一道霞光閃過，南海觀世音路過。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkv6gdTwWBy
觀音：諸位好！我們一起參加蟠桃宴會吧？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjs8Olnw8D
王母：蟠桃宴會的飯菜，被下界一個叫孫悟空的猴子偷吃了！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FWaZ1Go1Y
觀音：陛下，真的麽？求證一下。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuW5NLPJKW
玉帝：真的。我後悔，當初多花錢、多招兵買馬，多好。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo1QportCr
觀音：孫悟空很厲害麽？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡir3tuJZAoo
玉帝：那猴子偷吃仙桃、偷吃仙丹、偷喝仙酒，是一個擁有兵力10萬之多，很厲害的一個吃貨！觀愛卿，你可有法子對付？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqodCjjboI
觀音：我推薦一位。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4MnMdGqDy
玉帝：直說。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6QMHutsU6
觀音：二郎神。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fPHc2N2Oj
玉帝：2——郎神？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh93tqLmSB8
觀音：二郎神現居灌江口，享受下方香火，他也是一個吃貨。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVndaxt70L
玉帝：行麽？聽到2我擔心。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknLeDIFm4s
觀音：放心。你別忘了，一貨擒一貨。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1PMete9Od
玉帝：他還是2貨吧。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDz8AWzeWOm
觀音：二郎神可以一抵萬！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgru1pLVW7
玉帝：好！增兵一萬，宣2郎神迎戰孫悟空。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwHWKU88SM
哪咤帶著二郎神，見到托塔天王。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeBR0ykcNW
哪咤：增兵到。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW51N88P8t
托塔天王：增兵多少？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOswLAH18x
哪咤：一萬。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKfqJ823yZ
托塔天王：在哪？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJJqQCK5Gi
二郎神：我。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpXskW6GfS
托塔天王：怎麽帶來一個人？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKvccsmlTh
哪咤：父王，觀音和玉帝都說，他可以以一抵萬。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz22jolDMHo
托塔天王：超兵一萬，夠群毆了。天兵聽令，舉起你們手中的兵器，群毆開始。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg05RVW0nbU
二郎神：慢。聽說孫悟空和我一樣，都是吃貨。在群毆之前，我想單獨和孫悟空交流一下。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThfhplGMHa
托塔天王：你交流快點。手舉著兵器，挺累的。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy86p4AjDaY
相貌清俊、秀氣的二郎神，手拿三尖兩刃槍，步伐輕盈的走在花果山上。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvp5U6Hz33
眾猴：好帥喔！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JcxgAh6um
悟空：帥哥，你哪位？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOUQL4EfkS
二郎神：我是號稱以一抵萬的灌江口吃貨……58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sZfOqFAdS
悟空：同吃，同吃。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGtC4GYK9O
二郎神：帥氣稱霸一方，至今還單身、還沒經歷初戀、還是處男的二郎神！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBY2JCEOq7
悟空：沒感覺。我男的。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWojw1P15K
二郎神一轉身，不知從那拿出一朵花，含在嘴裏。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmYU1Azgr5
悟空：說了沒感覺，你擺Pose也沒用。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1RQKxCUkd
二郎神：知道這是什麽花？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbIqo0Co11
悟空：鮮花。我這花果山多的是。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnKwcnPmUJ
二郎神：錯！這是一朵只在冬天盛開的梅花。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhMDm8J6q7
悟空：喔。這種花，花果山可沒有。你那多不多？我打算移植到花果山。等花果山上下雪，我想身臨其境「墻角樹枝美，唯有暗香來」的詩境。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQ9mNCACxX
二郎神：知道這是什麽神器麽？（手指自己的兵器）58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3jA4gvGjK
悟空：怪怪的。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjioQb82QOi
二郎神：這是上古神器——三尖兩刃槍。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVPv9OvjU3
悟空：三刃兩尖槍？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiluFUy5aUH
二郎神：三尖兩刃槍。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFZtl7UyBe
悟空：幹脆簡稱三尖槍，聽到這麽憋口的武器名字，沒心情和你打了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSkn86d3N1
二郎神：誰說和你打？我只想在群毆前，會會你。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbNXWoUFjb
悟空：多你一個，也看不出群毆的效果。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpBeUCVJN0
二郎神：我可是以一抵萬。多我一個，等於多了一萬人。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJmeiZdNyO
悟空：好吧。這次天宮對我群毆的挑戰，我接受。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWovXIckF8j
二郎神：等著群毆吧你！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0yNc8Ks91
悟空：現在還沒開始，你我先過幾招，預熱一下，咋樣？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaA0kQBwhT0
二郎神：現在10萬人圍著花果山，你不覺得熱嗎？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAkclhrD9B
悟空：我有點缺氧。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFtFOepP7m
二郎神：同感。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbEW09fohs
孫悟空和二郎神開始做深呼吸。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun8IQSZKpL
悟空：我還沒和處男打過，你和我打一場，破破我的處吧。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLtHID2U4E
二郎神：不打。等天上的兵器扔你。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyVWUzEpvL
悟空：你一個人打敗我，拿個頭等功。知名度一提高，會吸引很多美女。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhbsL1cgVX
二郎神：開打。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2qaFFPzqj
兩個人的兵器一碰，三尖槍斷了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vOcg5skjq
二郎神：啊！我的神器！55555……（大哭）58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWib3NBHW3M
悟空：什麽神器，不堪一擊。要麽是次品，要麽是膺品，要麽是仿品。不要為它難過了。回家找個不是奸商的鐵匠，重新打造一件。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPkeIfJ56f
二郎神：我的真是上古神器。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDbtAVF4LK
悟空：是麽？我這根棍子，是上上古的神器，你的材質沒我的好。不要為它難過了。回家買件上上上古的，肯定比我的好。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqww7hs6Iv
二郎神：我要為我的神器報仇！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnBlIIy22U
悟空：你回家買一件再說。過幾天，我約你再戰。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVgZf3YvCz
二郎神：我還帶著一件上古神器呢。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpMWPhs6zL
悟空：留著吧，別斷了再傷心。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fA1K1FJ4I
二郎神把2指頭伸進嘴裏，吹了一聲口哨。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m0ooCR1Ng
悟空：這也算神器？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFyjC0vOVM
口哨一吹，不知從那冒出一條狗，在孫悟空腿上咬了一口。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZyLYROR18
悟空：疼死我了！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSm1Fi4Wo6e
二郎神：哈哈哈。這是我的第二件神器——上古神犬。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FbsSJoCCe
悟空：有沒有狂犬病？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JjXkFxVH3
二郎神：不確定。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxd2GiEytH
悟空：來人！我要看醫生！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP38GXP4YH
南天門的大門口。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HXXXlZBXY
觀音：孫悟空被二郎神打傷了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXVWDzYWhG
玉帝：貌似不是2郎神傷的。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiDu0V55ay
太上老君：陛下，我可助二郎神一臂之力。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1xeE5aTSx
玉帝：你也養狗？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeBs4WCBBa
太上老君：我沒養狗，但我有一個套狗的金剛圈。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLb0j3Oef3
玉帝：能套猴子嗎？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxoGfLVQGF
太上老君：都是動物，應該可以。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97eDDcWKvg
說著，老君拿出金剛圈，瞄準孫悟空，把金剛圈發射出去。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBy5ZfLt1p
孫悟空還在忍痛求救，沒註意天上掉下東西，被金剛圈砸中頭部，暈倒了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdTfAjOdSo
二郎神叫來托塔天王，將其繩索捆綁，返回天宮。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NY9WpX9zv
孫悟空被天兵押到斬妖臺，玉帝率眾觀斬。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUCErQlupt
玉帝：孫悟空，沒想到，你怕狗。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk6UVJbeDM
悟空：剛才，是誰扔磚砸我頭的？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ179KipYdj5
太上老君：不是磚，是金剛圈。你恨我吧？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXGg1SeBFx
悟空：謝謝你！我被你的金剛圈點穴，止住大動脈，控製了狂犬病毒在我體內的擴散。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7H6dfWuOuQ
太上老君：啊。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOH0nVVRA4J
悟空：諸位，我被狗咬了。和我保持一定距離，小心狂犬病。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXtWsFv9BM
玉帝：開斬！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2menlUURtH
悟空：等等。我是仙不是妖，不能在斬妖臺斬我。求換地方。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhp46YF7sNx
玉帝：換什麽地方。把「妖」改成「仙」，筆墨伺候。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKvUel0Oy5
在斬妖仙臺，孫悟空被刀砍斧剁，火燒雷擊。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiV16G7IdM
悟空：我死了沒有？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMqjJ335nx
玉帝：啊！怎麽還不死？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWy14N0mqKM
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空偷吃仙界食物，已是金剛之身，殺他的方法不對啊。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrWjuqrPb5
玉帝：咋辦？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKkKgjJDcG
太上老君：把孫悟空放進我的八卦爐，扣緊蓋子，煉上7749天，他化成金水，能煉出金子。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0XRlcIzfF
玉帝：太好啦！煉出金子，可以招兵買馬。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1xbPq1rYt
孫悟空被天兵押到兜率宮。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvfPYnd8EK
太上老君：把孫悟空推進八卦爐。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mJPvnzy09
悟空：真要把我煉成黃金？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvF8kKG6g4
太上老君：玉帝急需用錢。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pHi0ydtjt
悟空：這裏有沒有浴池？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqQrTQFvuY
太上老君：想幹嘛？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBlKks4Gur
悟空：我想脫掉衣服，洗洗澡，去趟廁所。可以確保煉出黃金的含金率在99.9999999%以上。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVZPT7FMM0
太上老君：放心的進去吧！我這爐子煉成的黃金，都是100%的純度。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRL6ouo4faz
悟空：需要煉我多久？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPmkkoksrv
太上老君：7749天。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKwRmoAk6F
悟空：盡量快些。我很想體驗一下，變成黃金的感覺。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9YK8CNsDU
1天，2天，3天………7749天後。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMXbs4Qjq9
太上老君：開爐！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8CntYn3WU
老君探頭向爐中一看，看到2個圓圓的、閃閃發光的東西。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6mTtpwmI9
太上老君：哈哈！孫悟空被煉成金蛋啦！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoyJBWusQh
說著，伸手去拿金蛋。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAkP9yqtTI
只聽爐內「哎呀」一聲！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6PGi2NIkd
爐內：誰插我？誰插我？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW7P9VRNhY
太上老君：我的金蛋！我的金蛋！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnBdzgqwH3
爐內：哪個王八蛋插我？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHHcq7OWxl
呼！孫悟空從爐內跳出來。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcbQqP62vf
悟空：哪個王八蛋插我眼睛？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP9dHzAZrp
這時，老君才看清楚，發光的2個金蛋，是孫悟空的2只眼睛。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OEQGwzhlL
太上老君：孫悟空，你怎麽還沒死？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIjjuCWOfV
悟空：我也想知道。我怎麽還沒變黃金？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YlAVZWwVV
太上老君：你的眼睛已變成黃金。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIOXgkgMz6
悟空：多謝了。我的眼睛已經變成火眼金睛！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAu2KN4oD1
太上老君：有什麽了不起。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡornaNp9K4B
突然，老君的衣服起火。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYfXUEbEkR
太上老君：啊！孫悟空，不要用你的眼睛看我！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRDLq7HalW
兜率宮內，孫悟空眼睛看到的地方，急速起火。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjJkYRTwe5
太上老君極速報知靈霄殿的玉帝。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVrIyUqv8j
太上老君：陛下，備水！備水！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBA0LygV11
玉帝剛好喝下一口茶，看到老君衣服冒火，嘴裏一噴水，火滅了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVCyVyZD1g
玉帝：老君，你煉金小心點。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOm8TT4xkn
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空從火爐逃出，還煉成一對火眼金睛，看到什麽就使什麽著火！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NauIaCvyi
眾仙：啊！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFD9jKxXsj
玉帝：怕什麽。來人，放狗！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGU7c1obgC
剛說完，孫悟空來了。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4qnIteyXf
悟空：玉帝，狗在我這。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsv6wKwIzRu
玉帝一看，孫悟空用火眼金睛，正在烤一只狗。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDZrtTKDBx
玉帝：啊！護駕！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPMwoWo1Jn
眾仙神護住玉帝。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zT7ysfS1X
悟空：別緊張。等會兒大家一起吃燒烤。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jRSSi53zT
一會兒，靈霄殿上，到處是火。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSq8eVodg3
玉帝和太白金星躲在一張桌子下，一杯一杯的不停向身上倒水。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqauSTQN7Y
玉帝：愛卿，快幫朕想想辦法。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNT5igwBCYw
太白金星：陛下，聽說西方雷音寺的主持如來，有一坐騎是一條狗，很厲害。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPj4iYjC01
玉帝：他哪是啥狗？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfFbPe9vMe
太白金星：好像叫佛獒。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYf2Qk5fBb
玉帝：速請西方如來！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn0pskfebD
如來騎著佛獒，從靈山雷音寺趕來。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpX6LmKohm
悟空：你哪位？愛吃燒烤嗎？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsK9I66BPdg
如來：我是西方極樂世界釋迦牟尼尊者，南無阿彌陀佛。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNk9c701gi
悟空：歡迎！一只狗不夠吃，你的這條狗，能不能貢獻一下？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjgYGqAGVP
如來：孫悟空，狗是人類最好的朋友。很多人反對、反感吃狗肉，你怎麽一點也不愛護動物？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0o9hMPJvy
悟空：難道你愛護動物？整天騎著狗亂逛，你願意被人騎著亂逛啊？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡputjqanLBu
如來：額。。。我這條狗名叫佛獒，很兇猛。我騎著它，是防止它咬人。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LHOjzLSfS
悟空：防止咬人還會咬人。吃進肚子，省心看管，絕不咬人。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiug0J6XBR8
如來：我這條狗，可不好吃！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ538IrsZSxa
悟空：調料放全，好吃的很。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1yCdJNYjn
如來：我先讓你吃一小塊。難吃，你別吃它，留它一條性命。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnz5ASGxmP
悟空：先來一條狗腿。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qHWTXTPtn
如來：我先給你一只狗掌吧。接著！58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFt6GfaUXA
如來投給孫悟空一只狗掌。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9S18FM5VU
悟空接住狗掌，發現狗掌上有一串字——唵嘜呢叭嘧吽。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKYnImxdxt
悟空：你還會微雕？58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EZg52gVOh
突然，狗掌越變越大、越變越大……58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkcboiYs8I
悟空：這麽大，我可吃不完。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnINGNdKfV
狗掌化作金木水火土五座聯山，喚名五行山，墜落在地球，重重的把孫悟空壓住。58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyD47z7RnE
58Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpx4Dy3zxdb
大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水
刀鋒戰水
篇 #11
第11回 大鬧天宮
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