孫悟空降至花果山水簾洞，走路搖搖擺擺，全身帶著酒氣。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzwIbYjF1S
悟空：小的們！我回來啦！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv352f7fP0
通背猿猴帶著一幫猴子歡呼圍上。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkXU2R3v60
通背猿猴：大王，你老人家可回來了！你這一去，100多年！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZAkLd2W8o
悟空：啊。你怎麽計算的？我只離開半年。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzXA7mDH7d
通背猿猴：你忘啦，天上一天，地下一年。100多年前，我對你說過。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgg9NHwpUP
悟空：你半年前這麽說。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3O4GcCOygy
通背猿猴：我100多年前說的。你以後上天，記下天數，寫在紙上。在天數後加個「年」字，這個數字便是地上的年數。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIhN67zJu7
悟空：有別的計算方法嗎？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrR29oeUlLK
通背猿猴：你用筆，也可以把年先寫上。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yJjWG8gNX
悟空：天數加年，2個我一塊寫。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGjh2ACeEc
通背猿猴：100多年沒見面，我們好想你！55555……（傷感地大哭）80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqY7fAYY38
悟空：想我想哭了？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcs0cOs3G0
通背猿猴：嗯。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmXmh3d6c2
悟空：額。（吐了一口）80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHZemw7Sjn
通背猿猴：大王，你怎麽了？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4JD56Heyl
悟空：我也想你們！額。（又吐了一口）80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMLyDI2grT
通背猿猴：哪不舒服？你在吐呢。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQAskfv10A
悟空：沒。是我想你們想的，吐了。（又吐幾口）80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmC1I5wvPTB
通背猿猴：你想我們挺多的！玉帝封你做齊天大聖沒？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ES0tO7J8x
悟空：封了。在天宮舉行的冊封儀式，使我終生難忘。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoF3oas8LX
通背猿猴：大王，描述一下冊封儀式，怎樣？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzWXZ1STsO
悟空：不了。我終生難忘的，我知道就行。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXItEc8KvCy
通背猿猴：描述100多年前的事，回憶一下美好時光。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAYLl5K2bb
悟空：我累了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcRKNOhAcW
撲騰一聲，孫悟空倒在地上。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGaj7rIGvA
通背猿猴：是醉了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHwUQOLgSn
天宮。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJCbz4U7cq
靈霄殿上，玉帝的臥底土地，進見玉帝。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbIWSR9WsC
土地：陛下，蟠桃園又大又圓的仙桃，都被孫悟空偷吃了！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhSaee0FMI
玉帝：啊！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAa1yt18qc
一會兒，太上老君進見玉帝。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ER0p5QAvE
太上老君：陛下，我嘔心瀝血煉的九轉金丹，都被孫悟空偷吃了！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvK1NVfGCl
玉帝：啊！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeio3rqx7C
又一會兒，王母進見玉帝。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaNauaJtqU
王母：陛下，我準備的蟠桃宴，弄了很多酒菜，都被孫悟空偷吃了！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW49JaSlbmz
玉帝：孫悟空啊孫悟空，你這個吃貨！你敢偷吃我吃的東西？！孫悟空在哪？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dvBcOa9nf
太上老君：天宮的監視鏡顯示，孫悟空已返回花果山。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUp6N90SSm
玉帝：誰願下界捉拿吃貨孫悟空？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXdy4Lzrqv
托塔天王：我！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM7BrnQeih
哪咤：我！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ466pCNgAbw
巨靈神：我！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXLHwSGNzZ
玉帝：天王，又是你們3個。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3HcOU3HZo
托塔天王：這次可以加幾個。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYjhw3B073
玉帝：我給你天兵10萬。記住，這次要給孫悟空一個群毆。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxj2cGMYtL8
托塔天王：這麽多人群毆一個，要排隊掛號。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtS68vD3L7
玉帝：不能排隊，不能掛號。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7lauDtoEl
托塔天王：一定做到。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVBzgmB0LJ
李托塔、哪咤、巨靈神，帶天兵10萬，一路出師下界。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Oan1GT9zD
路上。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5NXqTt19E
哪咤：父王，我們10多萬人，怎麽做到群毆一個？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Azee4j3oV
托塔天王：簡單。10多萬人停在花果山上空，一起向下扔兵器。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38z1HAUlpB
巨靈神：太血腥了吧？花果山會血流成河。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BKoYFV6kS
托塔天王：下一場大雨沖洗幹凈了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakAi8kcbu6
巨靈神：一場大雨能解決麽？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqVH6AMT3z
托塔天王：我看行。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvo0DJMMCm
巨靈神：我看不行。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10cmTmPjmW
托塔天王：不行再下第二場、第三場，直到沖洗幹凈收場！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88yUmlfjPz
巨靈神：我看也行了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRHbq0xSfe
這一日，花果山陽光明媚，萬裏無雲。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS62dRafJ5e
孫悟空正在和眾猴飲酒狂歡。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUjLhr9QCf
半空中，托塔天王、哪咤、巨靈神出現。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpraaQdRYAj
托塔天王：孫悟空！你偷吃仙桃、偷喝仙酒、偷吃仙丹。玉帝派我將你這個吃貨捉拿歸案！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa20QPjCcLk
悟空：又來捉我？上次捉我失敗，這次，你有沒有做好心理準備？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpNt8flLiJ
托塔天王：有。這次準備群毆你。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1m8oU9ryQu
悟空：群毆？你們3個？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUXnQGgXyF
托塔天王：我還有10萬天兵斷後。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2UriNOrmB
悟空：總共10萬多3人？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7YdUhAb5O
托塔天王：人多也能群毆你！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkdiAjC2bd
悟空：失敗，失敗。我這花果山上上下下，也是10萬人多出3個。這次，只能1對1單挑。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDnH6Qzsp2
托塔天王：啊！是嗎？這可怎麽辦？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYpLXNclxu
巨靈神：天王，我們按原計劃開戰吧。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpsuZVXRau
托塔天王：不能！敵我雙方的人數對等，不能群毆。開戰，違抗玉帝旨意。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rWaqtrXYs
哪咤：父王，我向玉帝請求支援。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHVb8lXeX1
托塔天王：快。我先做好群毆準備，圍住花果山。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFu69et1rgm
花果山上空，集聚10萬天兵，遮住太陽，天黑了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc65gyknOF
眾猴：大王，我們害怕。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqwY8Y4kUG
悟空：天黑怕什麽？來人，掌燈。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkgkp98bMZ
頓時，花果山上萬家燈火。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed9KT2dggg
哪咤返回天宮，在南天門遇見玉帝。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUeixG66Th
玉帝十分關心花果山戰況，正和群臣在南天門觀戰。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpEttUeIwB
哪咤：陛下！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgOVW3bRUQ
玉帝：3太子，前方戰事如何？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3u7lvLv18
哪咤：急需增兵。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWx24RXmgd
玉帝：10萬兵力也不夠？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsiKdbVDak
哪咤：孫悟空的兵力也是10萬，不能群毆。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZuMEknuj2
玉帝：啊！天宮的總兵力只有10萬。諸位仙臣，這可咋辦？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXdq13b5aw
突然，一道霞光閃過，南海觀世音路過。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrB27wd0CkK
觀音：諸位好！我們一起參加蟠桃宴會吧？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqhK3GbdiC
王母：蟠桃宴會的飯菜，被下界一個叫孫悟空的猴子偷吃了！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pDA1M3oGd
觀音：陛下，真的麽？求證一下。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp17bkeq5UI
玉帝：真的。我後悔，當初多花錢、多招兵買馬，多好。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eC2IyOnA0
觀音：孫悟空很厲害麽？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrK6i6e32l
玉帝：那猴子偷吃仙桃、偷吃仙丹、偷喝仙酒，是一個擁有兵力10萬之多，很厲害的一個吃貨！觀愛卿，你可有法子對付？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnJo5Xn2V2
觀音：我推薦一位。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizmqY10ZUt
玉帝：直說。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRneoOAdBc
觀音：二郎神。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUvpWpv3ui
玉帝：2——郎神？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUY5aPjCev
觀音：二郎神現居灌江口，享受下方香火，他也是一個吃貨。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8hTCpZbTz
玉帝：行麽？聽到2我擔心。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MWIxxzcc3
觀音：放心。你別忘了，一貨擒一貨。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH0o55h8DT
玉帝：他還是2貨吧。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTtdo5vuQm
觀音：二郎神可以一抵萬！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVJac2ATyI
玉帝：好！增兵一萬，宣2郎神迎戰孫悟空。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZURxHgy49
哪咤帶著二郎神，見到托塔天王。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8g9Gay0tT
哪咤：增兵到。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWXVXMuxaP
托塔天王：增兵多少？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBq0FXR8wk
哪咤：一萬。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRI75gyvXN
托塔天王：在哪？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL1eIwodoM
二郎神：我。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0zKyIaVjO
托塔天王：怎麽帶來一個人？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8AvamN3LS
哪咤：父王，觀音和玉帝都說，他可以以一抵萬。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedP4cCPEKX
托塔天王：超兵一萬，夠群毆了。天兵聽令，舉起你們手中的兵器，群毆開始。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxQp4jMoJl
二郎神：慢。聽說孫悟空和我一樣，都是吃貨。在群毆之前，我想單獨和孫悟空交流一下。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40pGYJGIwY
托塔天王：你交流快點。手舉著兵器，挺累的。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMZYRupyZh
相貌清俊、秀氣的二郎神，手拿三尖兩刃槍，步伐輕盈的走在花果山上。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnx8eXIVuZ
眾猴：好帥喔！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE5pUmKXR8
悟空：帥哥，你哪位？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGzEiOaGqi
二郎神：我是號稱以一抵萬的灌江口吃貨……80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0ppyVYoaz
悟空：同吃，同吃。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FOP28ajGB
二郎神：帥氣稱霸一方，至今還單身、還沒經歷初戀、還是處男的二郎神！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEc2mjYI10
悟空：沒感覺。我男的。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLadUUmKCb
二郎神一轉身，不知從那拿出一朵花，含在嘴裏。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeH3LYPBNS0
悟空：說了沒感覺，你擺Pose也沒用。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eJ227EpTH
二郎神：知道這是什麽花？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25wDgrSNaN
悟空：鮮花。我這花果山多的是。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDf8uAnggh
二郎神：錯！這是一朵只在冬天盛開的梅花。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEC5eEVOHc
悟空：喔。這種花，花果山可沒有。你那多不多？我打算移植到花果山。等花果山上下雪，我想身臨其境「墻角樹枝美，唯有暗香來」的詩境。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWIklf7xEU
二郎神：知道這是什麽神器麽？（手指自己的兵器）80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rPQl1tpef
悟空：怪怪的。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rCUBkekNW
二郎神：這是上古神器——三尖兩刃槍。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUkG15Nds8
悟空：三刃兩尖槍？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwdGdBc5mV
二郎神：三尖兩刃槍。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVTscIKT9p
悟空：幹脆簡稱三尖槍，聽到這麽憋口的武器名字，沒心情和你打了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Ne0zS1Hz
二郎神：誰說和你打？我只想在群毆前，會會你。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsS5mtud97
悟空：多你一個，也看不出群毆的效果。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEHJ9oYSkm
二郎神：我可是以一抵萬。多我一個，等於多了一萬人。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwm7RcyW5S
悟空：好吧。這次天宮對我群毆的挑戰，我接受。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoYKmYiTwf
二郎神：等著群毆吧你！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzRQLKBKdt
悟空：現在還沒開始，你我先過幾招，預熱一下，咋樣？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf7kyefi4J
二郎神：現在10萬人圍著花果山，你不覺得熱嗎？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YMz6Q6KU7
悟空：我有點缺氧。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOsvmh3ZeY
二郎神：同感。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKCZJTXnJa
孫悟空和二郎神開始做深呼吸。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dKMMeSwUQ
悟空：我還沒和處男打過，你和我打一場，破破我的處吧。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLOEXBD9c2
二郎神：不打。等天上的兵器扔你。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgE6vwnPNZ
悟空：你一個人打敗我，拿個頭等功。知名度一提高，會吸引很多美女。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0wevW1hay
二郎神：開打。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWJJZ0QZFp
兩個人的兵器一碰，三尖槍斷了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOs20v3bUnL
二郎神：啊！我的神器！55555……（大哭）80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWFHfhz5sT
悟空：什麽神器，不堪一擊。要麽是次品，要麽是膺品，要麽是仿品。不要為它難過了。回家找個不是奸商的鐵匠，重新打造一件。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvGim0sYJa
二郎神：我的真是上古神器。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o0KHipwMg
悟空：是麽？我這根棍子，是上上古的神器，你的材質沒我的好。不要為它難過了。回家買件上上上古的，肯定比我的好。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtylK9WbGt
二郎神：我要為我的神器報仇！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpzFIRvpJK
悟空：你回家買一件再說。過幾天，我約你再戰。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfk0bmpWTp
二郎神：我還帶著一件上古神器呢。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgdJXfsNeX
悟空：留著吧，別斷了再傷心。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKJY1rHRGu
二郎神把2指頭伸進嘴裏，吹了一聲口哨。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5I14e2Lc2T
悟空：這也算神器？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvPykduZTg
口哨一吹，不知從那冒出一條狗，在孫悟空腿上咬了一口。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwV6x3EM75
悟空：疼死我了！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5tYBb0Qlb
二郎神：哈哈哈。這是我的第二件神器——上古神犬。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK40JENjPg
悟空：有沒有狂犬病？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoDpNMK1GU
二郎神：不確定。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiqn6J8Rxb
悟空：來人！我要看醫生！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopvu7iH2ut
南天門的大門口。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7y5v71jfEd
觀音：孫悟空被二郎神打傷了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXzQ7AcwAI
玉帝：貌似不是2郎神傷的。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYM80flqX2x
太上老君：陛下，我可助二郎神一臂之力。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySAxlHBi48
玉帝：你也養狗？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOLR23vOug
太上老君：我沒養狗，但我有一個套狗的金剛圈。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSXeeIfYFz
玉帝：能套猴子嗎？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCMwwEOYDD
太上老君：都是動物，應該可以。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4xE3oj316
說著，老君拿出金剛圈，瞄準孫悟空，把金剛圈發射出去。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMnMTZgKb1
孫悟空還在忍痛求救，沒註意天上掉下東西，被金剛圈砸中頭部，暈倒了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt6aEEtZ5y
二郎神叫來托塔天王，將其繩索捆綁，返回天宮。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsgD1BMqCY
孫悟空被天兵押到斬妖臺，玉帝率眾觀斬。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYehpagUZoF
玉帝：孫悟空，沒想到，你怕狗。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfakrmLnDub
悟空：剛才，是誰扔磚砸我頭的？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS58ZfIVeM
太上老君：不是磚，是金剛圈。你恨我吧？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXA3y9S5q3a
悟空：謝謝你！我被你的金剛圈點穴，止住大動脈，控製了狂犬病毒在我體內的擴散。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWG3cHBnaJV
太上老君：啊。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eKufQCog3
悟空：諸位，我被狗咬了。和我保持一定距離，小心狂犬病。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs54UH8sQ9Z
玉帝：開斬！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzljBy5Kyx
悟空：等等。我是仙不是妖，不能在斬妖臺斬我。求換地方。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mWxxAicmJ
玉帝：換什麽地方。把「妖」改成「仙」，筆墨伺候。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjFxHd8Kj3
在斬妖仙臺，孫悟空被刀砍斧剁，火燒雷擊。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtby6x7EzKA
悟空：我死了沒有？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnguTYlgZe
玉帝：啊！怎麽還不死？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOzhcwQe3Q
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空偷吃仙界食物，已是金剛之身，殺他的方法不對啊。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoH8uNr2BQ
玉帝：咋辦？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DgzqUpYCC
太上老君：把孫悟空放進我的八卦爐，扣緊蓋子，煉上7749天，他化成金水，能煉出金子。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LSMJq5g87
玉帝：太好啦！煉出金子，可以招兵買馬。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtR1ElZ0YZW
孫悟空被天兵押到兜率宮。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQFeql9mYU
太上老君：把孫悟空推進八卦爐。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGztGsDbKX
悟空：真要把我煉成黃金？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO6VXZkJBC
太上老君：玉帝急需用錢。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrx0d5E274
悟空：這裏有沒有浴池？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobONofFm5e
太上老君：想幹嘛？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvazVTVS3A
悟空：我想脫掉衣服，洗洗澡，去趟廁所。可以確保煉出黃金的含金率在99.9999999%以上。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTyNAXd23B
太上老君：放心的進去吧！我這爐子煉成的黃金，都是100%的純度。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGhh1di8Ny
悟空：需要煉我多久？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCIYUp1Iu4
太上老君：7749天。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zTnZT3OY6
悟空：盡量快些。我很想體驗一下，變成黃金的感覺。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSoFvzTGmA
1天，2天，3天………7749天後。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyRZQCRLzh
太上老君：開爐！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXgfxU87tq
老君探頭向爐中一看，看到2個圓圓的、閃閃發光的東西。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEHbuK2AhY
太上老君：哈哈！孫悟空被煉成金蛋啦！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4oKd7ahPI
說著，伸手去拿金蛋。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG5t3hx5pG
只聽爐內「哎呀」一聲！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnDwHyAy9L
爐內：誰插我？誰插我？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRn3HdeOs5
太上老君：我的金蛋！我的金蛋！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLHPgcV0hF
爐內：哪個王八蛋插我？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKCxEZXP6N
呼！孫悟空從爐內跳出來。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteTWAtZcAu
悟空：哪個王八蛋插我眼睛？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzbenDt1SY
這時，老君才看清楚，發光的2個金蛋，是孫悟空的2只眼睛。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHl2zUKAVzj
太上老君：孫悟空，你怎麽還沒死？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7YhDxgiDG
悟空：我也想知道。我怎麽還沒變黃金？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoXHRHq1ZD
太上老君：你的眼睛已變成黃金。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc63DYzarR
悟空：多謝了。我的眼睛已經變成火眼金睛！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMHj8xeeo1
太上老君：有什麽了不起。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHkaHARWLO
突然，老君的衣服起火。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm5lol5KyY
太上老君：啊！孫悟空，不要用你的眼睛看我！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTSrKW57iy
兜率宮內，孫悟空眼睛看到的地方，急速起火。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4csJxTAMk
太上老君極速報知靈霄殿的玉帝。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnPUiCpruc
太上老君：陛下，備水！備水！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tQhwBaTsy
玉帝剛好喝下一口茶，看到老君衣服冒火，嘴裏一噴水，火滅了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF2buahDfa
玉帝：老君，你煉金小心點。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEg6XLvyqtp
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空從火爐逃出，還煉成一對火眼金睛，看到什麽就使什麽著火！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNa4rqcSF3a
眾仙：啊！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUMJudZR9a
玉帝：怕什麽。來人，放狗！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtKeNxeLU3
剛說完，孫悟空來了。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1D5GumIDca
悟空：玉帝，狗在我這。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUlOYazvOu
玉帝一看，孫悟空用火眼金睛，正在烤一只狗。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpugtP4gKX
玉帝：啊！護駕！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7hYJy2pSF
眾仙神護住玉帝。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GsJJukshX
悟空：別緊張。等會兒大家一起吃燒烤。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzJ1vVNcOw
一會兒，靈霄殿上，到處是火。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dVQlMmD4c
玉帝和太白金星躲在一張桌子下，一杯一杯的不停向身上倒水。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS8xEsaTx5
玉帝：愛卿，快幫朕想想辦法。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV1iVeiMc2
太白金星：陛下，聽說西方雷音寺的主持如來，有一坐騎是一條狗，很厲害。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sQFvauq29
玉帝：他哪是啥狗？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzcT7Uwu0z
太白金星：好像叫佛獒。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEhxK53OLT
玉帝：速請西方如來！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbp0auXOCRH
如來騎著佛獒，從靈山雷音寺趕來。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3T1uZCw5J
悟空：你哪位？愛吃燒烤嗎？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTExS8gEywK
如來：我是西方極樂世界釋迦牟尼尊者，南無阿彌陀佛。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tEgIFkVXg
悟空：歡迎！一只狗不夠吃，你的這條狗，能不能貢獻一下？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQdslnYfYx
如來：孫悟空，狗是人類最好的朋友。很多人反對、反感吃狗肉，你怎麽一點也不愛護動物？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZA0KbCRzC
悟空：難道你愛護動物？整天騎著狗亂逛，你願意被人騎著亂逛啊？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8Vn53PqEV
如來：額。。。我這條狗名叫佛獒，很兇猛。我騎著它，是防止它咬人。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjt3LhGZ9k
悟空：防止咬人還會咬人。吃進肚子，省心看管，絕不咬人。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5MaKRM3C2
如來：我這條狗，可不好吃！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rXcsvX98j
悟空：調料放全，好吃的很。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFCLO5tjSk
如來：我先讓你吃一小塊。難吃，你別吃它，留它一條性命。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3mmwtBVGP
悟空：先來一條狗腿。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFVXBAN7e0
如來：我先給你一只狗掌吧。接著！80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHsJJRzokt
如來投給孫悟空一只狗掌。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CnllyudEj
悟空接住狗掌，發現狗掌上有一串字——唵嘜呢叭嘧吽。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8k4f10GGF
悟空：你還會微雕？80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIDHcATtmD
突然，狗掌越變越大、越變越大……80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATgRZmobpP
悟空：這麽大，我可吃不完。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡni1wsUDOLS
狗掌化作金木水火土五座聯山，喚名五行山，墜落在地球，重重的把孫悟空壓住。80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULxyJBBh0u
80Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrEfXpCtZb
大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水
刀鋒戰水
篇 #11
第11回 大鬧天宮
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