【實體書有售】《青梅竹馬真係最難追》 - 結局篇ＩＩＩ：我們都沒法理解15082022

但現實是這樣又如何？1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPmTPsmAJ0
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沒法理解，沒法接受。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Bz8oq3yCF
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ijc16WIaL
童桐變了，已經不再是我小時候認識的那個她。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvPSSuiwIB
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1bZF8JHUC
但現實對我來說，過於…難以理解。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEOXK7a7zG
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpt3B1w8UJ
她甚至連一個苦衷也不編，一個謊也不撒。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkWi3uLuaS
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSaXSr4AYt
要該高興嗎，還是要哭？我曾經視她如宗教一樣的存在，現在卻。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPoGtVtXw2
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現在卻。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0Q8EXB3HM
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感覺最近情緒上的衝擊，我已沒法作出正確的反應，腦海被攪成一團糊糨。我掩著臉搖著頭，恍如因射箭而滿是厚繭的雙手，能為我提供一個避風港。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYNK5Er3ac
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因為我的避風巷已經毀了。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUpwvVNlJA
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因為我的童年…1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJF0wuDe6SD
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…真真正正的，結束了。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJF1hqFCbR8
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPuS54VmMj
「呀遊，我地都有唔想俾任何人見到既一面…我相信你都有。」童桐說，「但即使係咁…我都會接受，呀遊，因為由所有面向組成既…先係完整既你。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrNN03hpQZ
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEfcsYS7Gf
甚麼是好人，甚麼是壞人？1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9o73IVH7jt
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DeeezUXbf
壞人在自己的故事中，也是一個英雄。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡid09jHDy4r
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47mv0eb5vD
捐錢幫助窮人的慈善家，也有人視之為資本主義中的剝削者。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHEOLIIm3f
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不用說到這樣宏大，我媽也不是沒被人說過HR死全家，我爸把釣到的魚放上網和人分享也被動保主義者說血腥屠夫。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnJpnlYUBB
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但對我來說，二人都是父母，是家人。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVfdWmC4Eo
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不同人對於不同人來說，可以同時是好人，同時亦是壞人。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzAB6gVhTD
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMqKaSsrSl
…但當距離親近如我和童桐這樣，所有面向便互相嵌鑲成一個完整的存在，並非一個單獨面向。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKoHKwvUXK
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SQYpFQZ2Y
愛慕她的好。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDzmuLe4g4
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便要接受她的壞。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51bYfSy4F3
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7f9dvL0TQN
我竟然天真的曾經以為童桐只有好的那一面，如甚麼完美的聖女。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAiHKLIEXP
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDPC8iibJY
現在殘酷而赤裸裸的事實放在眼前，至於接受與否便是我們的課題了。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprPKszk6TZ
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即使我和童桐身上都穿著衣服，但卻比起過往十多年來任何時候還要更加赤裸，更加坦誠相見。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5xCQo7ouV
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfRXCLY1sl
「你肯定？」我冷冷地說。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdspzMHTi1
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她還不知道我幹了甚麼。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDKPdBHi8u
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlvPnargwU
她還不知道我曾經打算幹甚麼。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8rVfaeBFh
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTDFU0sIlM
「…嗯。」她說，「我，我又有咩資格話你？無論你做過咩都好…」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PUi1uX8gm
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAJgnivI7p
童桐雙眼發光，好像在淹水中捉到了救生圈一樣。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOp1QxDUii6
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsLllxiaTA
「所以你覺得如果我都有一個黑暗面，一個黑化版既呀遊，我就同你一樣自私，同你一樣有唔見得光既一面，所以我地就平起平座，我就應該接受你，然後可以如以前一樣？」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IsBdf7zvM
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjg2KzCCRR
「…唔係咁…」卻被我看穿了。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95uxZH4Qa4
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUsjVCsiVg
「定係我咁講正合你意，咁樣你內心會舒服Ｄ，因為自甘墜落既人唔止你一個？」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iKy4oiJAR
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTYXQSKxkZ
「唔係咁，唔係咁唔係咁，呀遊，唔好咁講，求下你…」童桐哭著說。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34r99824kt
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42b6V0wO6Y
「…童桐，我地永遠都唔可能好似以前一樣。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgAnmGwkFO
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gsceI2joc
然後，我推開了她。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOryMC63TIT
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史無前例地，我推開了正準近我，打算向我撒嬌的童桐。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSMBoxzIYc
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUxqAIejl8
「……」她露出寂寞的眼神。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasIceZBbdP
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O8KzQxkge
「你講得岩，我都有另一面，我都有做過D唔想俾你知既事。」我低頭說，「但…我好亂，我唔知，我唔知點樣面對你，同你一樣。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJVe25kuNv
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3BumuvjEC
「邊個會無？我鐘意你，即使你有咩秘密都好我都一定會…」童桐說。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIuktOFN23
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4dvovyuax
「我係你就唔會咁講。」我苦笑。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVl9iZ2mYOj
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTAF3N7s4G
「係…？」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtJIckOtIJ
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「我個時都咁講過，我話無論你做過咩，有咩秘密我都會接受到…然後我個心就碎左。」我輕撫自己的胸口。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwleAeTmz1p
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniZYadWM0y
愈是鐘愛於幻象，現實就更加殘酷。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjTSEkeP4T
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FZZNdUKBC
夢中愈是甘甜，現實便愈見苦澀。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASG6FmXJyq
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCZhTewWB8
「我唔信，呀遊你唔同我，你係個好人…」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcOD48eDVR
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzncegGEW3i
「我先唔係。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfdv3uRU00
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VcaIPzRRz
我早就不是甚麼好人。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpwp9IFXzw
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEj2WOyWJW
從明明連人家名字還沒記住便去追求人家，胡亂表白開始，到之後的事。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLvj8UBXeb
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDFoaAzvgV
我才不是「除了射箭甚麼也不會」的人。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRmckcvbOA
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFShMwgHHJ1
「咁你講出黎。」她說，「我寧願你親口講，都唔想某日自己發現。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3h1FbZ7gwC
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9SgGGLNCS
「……」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYjMEVupBz
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是我害得植嵐晨自殺。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DfIek4M9o
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6Wo21IVvM
那天我差點按下了清理瀏覽記錄而間接害死他。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCuyfC1KuT
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjTmcrMzEG
為了勝利我打算吃禁藥。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0wzFVAq3W
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSKj25NEgQ
我和妍妍有了肉體關係，但沒打算負責任。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIP5HI0GlJY
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiJgLua6Bw
當天第一次妍妍出現在水上樂園是，其實是PTGF。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwzp3htHWm
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcovLALCIKf
中學時那連串的表白行為，其中一些我可是明知有男朋友也照去馬。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFse05LtRt
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyy2rE5gUx
……那年我打算過自殺，甚至已經完成了氦氣袋的試作型。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMMzvBcDiT
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa18WMa6c7x
「呀遊，我地大家今晚都互相坦白喇…然後睇下點樣互相接受到對方，好唔好？我唔想無左你呢個青梅竹馬，無論做唔做到情侶都好。」童桐說。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUcUF0yIAW
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh775xsfMQP
「我諗…今晚我地都攰。」我說，「我求其煮個公仔麵就返過去。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXus5XvLMsL
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTlGJ7mJ0j
「呀遊…」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0RbY9YpE2
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH7E5RvnQN
「我會講。」我說，「只係…唔係今晚，我要，童桐，對唔住，我…做唔到…我好攰，我好撚亂呀，你明唔明呀。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP2n5Mgh5T
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbPkRmwheI
我試圖以過去的眼光看待她。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1Ve1RUFMe
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bPxBVHsmU
做不到。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDEldMZwU8
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzTHCfbmd5
我試圖向她坦白自己做過的一切。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCp1mdo9rnv
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rmG9ZQpT1
做不到。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9TWhDUz2H
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy0Fg8tXIs
既然我知道了她的真面目後這樣激動，這樣看待她，反過來…其實也一樣吧。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPK8mzrAHv
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKeUpUhCvj
只是現在是我在暗，她在明，她才這樣向我告解一樣。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdUOYdmZyz
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQxuFmjon6
下午離開Beta那兒之前，他幫我設定了一個倒數計時，現在距離核彈爆炸只剩下１６７小時。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6P9VGHBZS
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBkV3DuSOe
我沒有高童桐一等，更別說是道德高地。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkfnDjyy1N
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFMkVZNcnv
所以我也沒法狠狠罵她一頓，然後說要帶她回正途，連這樣子我也做不到，這才是現在一切膠著，一切如陷五里霧中的原因。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz6K1U3owz
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既，沒法坦白。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8S41Thon6
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULg9pyJqKp
又，沒法斥責。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VSehyXmn0
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既，沒法接受。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1uDHBcJKi
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也，沒法忘記。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyJ4hVtosx
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而且…也沒法理解。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC0GaAcaHI
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sHISQ8I05
明明妍妍叫我不用在意她，去處理和童桐之間的事，結果卻變成了這樣子。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8Y0BkiOxY
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8evFzvOq0f
反倒有點對不起她了呢，我這爛人。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrqj6qeIwP
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSk08bEZ0p
我轉身胡亂地擦去眼淚，以免自己在童桐面前出醜。但這時背上傳來陣陣的溫暖，陣陣的柔軟，童桐從後抱住我，把頭靠到我背脊上，用耳朵貼住我的肌肉聆聽著我的心跳。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix11AILZAK
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「只要你係我身邊，你要嬲我幾耐都無所謂。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BkfJqmga4
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAPfdRCpXY
「……」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBh79tiURV
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFSDv1N9en
「因為我地都應承過大家，嬲幾耐都好，最後都會搵返對方，唔準絕交，唔準永遠唔彩對方落去架嘛。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPz3YctqKO
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgExkHlUaZO
她能聽到我的脈動，反之亦然。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0WoMO5gE8
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtS0VCsXLs
我雖然沒法直接聽到，但我感受著童桐的每一下呼吸，每一下心跳，胸膛的每一起伏。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5SRNQqKGD
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWETfz116l
「只要你無事就好，我個晚真係好驚。」童桐說。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyr9z0oVygY
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuamSM8o5To
「嗯，我都睇到係你救左我。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7brjPlI9b
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3djGQwWzZS
「但即係係咁…即使你會討厭我，即使你個下已經知道左我係Dora,我唔知點面對你…我都唔想你有事。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwU4MqOebg
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5StqWCpm0m
曾經她只求唯有我別討厭她。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoScSN0dPc
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOFbo4K6zt
曾經她即使全世界討厭她也不怕，因為有我在她身邊。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpzMiufuog
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsl5trYsWMm
…現在即使連我也討厭她，她也只想我安全健康。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsnI5Y8Hjx
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZE3HR1gjX9
你叫我怎樣對你生氣，童桐。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBtzUH526z
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAgceOMV5H
「我…好多謝你，童桐。」我說，的確是她救了我。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ELjhMqq11
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIVQ9tpUX3
「…到你覺得可以講既時候，就同我講。」童桐說，「我地只要互相坦白，然後互相再接受，互相理解對方，一定可以捱過呢一關。」1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuButT31rzp
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ3YbC6cmz
咦？1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax5ChMl9GU
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGssa76HTb
腦中如一道清泉流過…我覺得這就是我和童桐最大的差異之處。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4odrLAMA2f
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBTq5BM6G4
「接受與否」，是我的想法。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmyFUjhqaP
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqXHXJmPvS
「如何接受」，是童桐的想法。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkScVtGcgq
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwcpGJApjz
那天晚上我和童桐沒有得出任何答案，甚至說沒有任何進展。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq5P85Gn9q
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiW77hhhBF
她甚至沒有提出我希望中的苦衷，使我可以諒解的苦衷，只能得出「性格使然」的絕望答案。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFMZ1W3nPC
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFzk6uYMsy
老實說，場面比我想像中平靜，至少我們沒有向對方咆哮或痛哭。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKVKCZL4n3
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTQro5UXWU
但是…無力感漸漸佔據了空氣，佔據了心底，連情緒該發洩向何處也沒有著力點。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe4oKCyuGd
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2JmMLmezD
我寧願和她痛痛快快吵一架，也不想這樣子…1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cA4Qjiwzr
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyfNJMGkCQ
…我真的不想。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFh5EtXYjT
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQf82rjMBjm
至於和她坦白的話，我覺得不是時候，所以也沒有說出口。我需要時間去沉澱，去思考，去好好盤算接下來的做法。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgVLy0hsbP
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPmRBuNgg9
活了在幻象中廿多年的我，被狠狠地摔到現實中。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrRsuSlBwh
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwIuy5qrEy
現在我要學習在現實中活下去。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8EXEyNlyO
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwlKQWCnfL
第二天早上，距離核彈發射還有１５３小時。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXCL66AqnX
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDiTKFt7fz
童桐的窗簾現在到了早上醒來…也再沒有打開了。1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGTmQFxnm5
1306Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdg1kgX49lN
那兒，只有一片茫然和我心中懷念。