但現實是這樣又如何?1072Please respect copyright.PENANA3Qdh1Tl6cT
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAlE03Oc1blp
沒法理解,沒法接受。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKETGeu9Hjs
1072Please respect copyright.PENANARsdKg6FEEV
童桐變了,已經不再是我小時候認識的那個她。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2As64E1g0
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKbLrfRpoyo
但現實對我來說,過於…難以理解。1072Please respect copyright.PENANADWUEcOZk5s
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA1yV97CpVxK
她甚至連一個苦衷也不編,一個謊也不撒。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKLBo3vf9yE
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA2krKrBgxDm
要該高興嗎,還是要哭?我曾經視她如宗教一樣的存在,現在卻。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA20oGagJha5
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA11mvLy7r4z
現在卻。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAi0Ra7BrgiP
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAtNaTMK2EWM
感覺最近情緒上的衝擊,我已沒法作出正確的反應,腦海被攪成一團糊糨。我掩著臉搖著頭,恍如因射箭而滿是厚繭的雙手,能為我提供一個避風港。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAAWkOaTThYu
1072Please respect copyright.PENANANpf1oNQ08S
因為我的避風巷已經毀了。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA1qhHZJLZBE
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA544W0vvzBf
因為我的童年…1072Please respect copyright.PENANA8JSGrkjSHl
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAvMXKf8jPcO
…真真正正的,結束了。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAvmnh71ZkaI
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAsuicWqvifn
「呀遊,我地都有唔想俾任何人見到既一面…我相信你都有。」童桐說,「但即使係咁…我都會接受,呀遊,因為由所有面向組成既…先係完整既你。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKU8aozCRvF
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAn4nmNIe2rJ
甚麼是好人,甚麼是壞人?1072Please respect copyright.PENANAmSMBwaBeOy
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAZI9HboDnMc
壞人在自己的故事中,也是一個英雄。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAuxJRecYmIZ
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAA1NUU4egF8
捐錢幫助窮人的慈善家,也有人視之為資本主義中的剝削者。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKywWHINC3R
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAJsab8sWOLS
不用說到這樣宏大,我媽也不是沒被人說過HR死全家,我爸把釣到的魚放上網和人分享也被動保主義者說血腥屠夫。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAaIzIlJqmkl
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAVqRIkMO8Gw
但對我來說,二人都是父母,是家人。1072Please respect copyright.PENANALGJVARDTbr
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA9CRmEIfW6A
不同人對於不同人來說,可以同時是好人,同時亦是壞人。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAUgN35iuRBk
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAah2yZogrUd
…但當距離親近如我和童桐這樣,所有面向便互相嵌鑲成一個完整的存在,並非一個單獨面向。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAZ22mXLtOVU
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAUoQZ3dxXfV
愛慕她的好。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAXTrAQAkf1J
1072Please respect copyright.PENANACPOikSaYdl
便要接受她的壞。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAl1O7MmQfiA
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAALIvlHU97m
我竟然天真的曾經以為童桐只有好的那一面,如甚麼完美的聖女。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAGlrhMEi78t
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAHdFW9ihLfT
現在殘酷而赤裸裸的事實放在眼前,至於接受與否便是我們的課題了。1072Please respect copyright.PENANATy2rzkPvTS
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA2J9pGSgeFw
即使我和童桐身上都穿著衣服,但卻比起過往十多年來任何時候還要更加赤裸,更加坦誠相見。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAP1NsOFmwXd
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAbmohaQBh3R
「你肯定?」我冷冷地說。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAaAU9PAFEq4
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAldaXLrnf4F
她還不知道我幹了甚麼。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAO9Sq0szGm3
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAwPJMrqhCCj
她還不知道我曾經打算幹甚麼。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAchk6Vuie58
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAWTLdobNs8l
「…嗯。」她說,「我,我又有咩資格話你?無論你做過咩都好…」1072Please respect copyright.PENANASROGZxel9W
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAx3koY1phMm
童桐雙眼發光,好像在淹水中捉到了救生圈一樣。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAEkoACoVVOE
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAGudvJAUkTm
「所以你覺得如果我都有一個黑暗面,一個黑化版既呀遊,我就同你一樣自私,同你一樣有唔見得光既一面,所以我地就平起平座,我就應該接受你,然後可以如以前一樣?」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAwReDOQZi9Z
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA43lVg860fT
「…唔係咁…」卻被我看穿了。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAjJvZZKCMVa
1072Please respect copyright.PENANACceypWKhSc
「定係我咁講正合你意,咁樣你內心會舒服D,因為自甘墜落既人唔止你一個?」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAhlEuBp1UKX
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA6hBikIeUCx
「唔係咁,唔係咁唔係咁,呀遊,唔好咁講,求下你…」童桐哭著說。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAxMUEGtH8Ri
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAyanQWtofdk
「…童桐,我地永遠都唔可能好似以前一樣。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAwasJTEawNn
1072Please respect copyright.PENANACWs68oh84N
然後,我推開了她。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAhbTGQmgi1k
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAUS9dWZne9B
史無前例地,我推開了正準近我,打算向我撒嬌的童桐。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAr31VgWnGVw
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAr1FLRw1wch
「……」她露出寂寞的眼神。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAnMCrRnc5UB
1072Please respect copyright.PENANArUppHSroxu
「你講得岩,我都有另一面,我都有做過D唔想俾你知既事。」我低頭說,「但…我好亂,我唔知,我唔知點樣面對你,同你一樣。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAykjGG01uy3
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAuKLJuDAQyj
「邊個會無?我鐘意你,即使你有咩秘密都好我都一定會…」童桐說。1072Please respect copyright.PENANApusdUjIvh4
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAMDLqYYabLD
「我係你就唔會咁講。」我苦笑。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA6bBxZKRBGh
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKjSAgqfP6n
「係…?」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAFpP8XjHgHq
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAVxVW5EYQ91
「我個時都咁講過,我話無論你做過咩,有咩秘密我都會接受到…然後我個心就碎左。」我輕撫自己的胸口。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAoccsQvTjON
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAIUGLn86wd5
愈是鐘愛於幻象,現實就更加殘酷。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAMMOcQzasol
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKdhALK9Ap0
夢中愈是甘甜,現實便愈見苦澀。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAuGM7oc0jaM
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAhodWsM2zx0
「我唔信,呀遊你唔同我,你係個好人…」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAJlHCBASc51
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAvalnNowE41
「我先唔係。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAQmW5tyztru
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAj8Y1vZl71Z
我早就不是甚麼好人。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA9aV3YTNunl
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAIOqBmJxF8K
從明明連人家名字還沒記住便去追求人家,胡亂表白開始,到之後的事。1072Please respect copyright.PENANARkElcRXgVA
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAMk1LT4b5S0
我才不是「除了射箭甚麼也不會」的人。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAMHsCh0axE7
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA9jBmDkttkV
「咁你講出黎。」她說,「我寧願你親口講,都唔想某日自己發現。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAPAeTZNm9oq
1072Please respect copyright.PENANACyE5nOaAWU
「……」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAGXcHAs5f2S
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAPSflU50had
是我害得植嵐晨自殺。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAWrrteNXOnX
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAlrTZE5WgFv
那天我差點按下了清理瀏覽記錄而間接害死他。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAhG3jnHFyJS
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAgkF6MAZu0t
為了勝利我打算吃禁藥。1072Please respect copyright.PENANACdBER9yMNr
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA306xvBBL9J
我和妍妍有了肉體關係,但沒打算負責任。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA0hJWUb3JFF
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAIJpjrbdkkA
當天第一次妍妍出現在水上樂園是,其實是PTGF。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAt6Wk0XoOCA
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAHWggLqJKZc
中學時那連串的表白行為,其中一些我可是明知有男朋友也照去馬。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAbvbKBbHdM7
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAyg6jxLRJMU
……那年我打算過自殺,甚至已經完成了氦氣袋的試作型。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAP1FReL7TGN
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA5VtHUuAzJd
「呀遊,我地大家今晚都互相坦白喇…然後睇下點樣互相接受到對方,好唔好?我唔想無左你呢個青梅竹馬,無論做唔做到情侶都好。」童桐說。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKkd84Qn4D1
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAv5u2Rjw2MG
「我諗…今晚我地都攰。」我說,「我求其煮個公仔麵就返過去。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAwbTphoyZkC
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAC00vdWeF2C
「呀遊…」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAsWFfdFkiAt
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAW59puNGWF5
「我會講。」我說,「只係…唔係今晚,我要,童桐,對唔住,我…做唔到…我好攰,我好撚亂呀,你明唔明呀。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAL9RHpwheSQ
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA9m59ejAgD2
我試圖以過去的眼光看待她。1072Please respect copyright.PENANACrd7GJTRnD
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAp4INbpiKsA
做不到。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAaAKfI4s8iJ
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAJorTNwlIon
我試圖向她坦白自己做過的一切。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAgRdVPwJDx5
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA1UYjWC3Rsz
做不到。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAFTQajXrKEB
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAMkUsyl9u4V
既然我知道了她的真面目後這樣激動,這樣看待她,反過來…其實也一樣吧。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAe8bzLz38C0
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAOXJbqkREf3
只是現在是我在暗,她在明,她才這樣向我告解一樣。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAldHkhZ1baR
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAZdRSKi6qkl
下午離開Beta那兒之前,他幫我設定了一個倒數計時,現在距離核彈爆炸只剩下167小時。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZHT5jR5E5
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAjVUmgHqwN6
我沒有高童桐一等,更別說是道德高地。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA1ViSPyZNT1
1072Please respect copyright.PENANADtIhNnLpW3
所以我也沒法狠狠罵她一頓,然後說要帶她回正途,連這樣子我也做不到,這才是現在一切膠著,一切如陷五里霧中的原因。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAyaExGPoPUM
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAkNWR1FUKxh
既,沒法坦白。1072Please respect copyright.PENANATM0WbSYZ0M
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAfXGFXM39tl
又,沒法斥責。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAdaLABK0rd9
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA0CKbKXtu3p
既,沒法接受。1072Please respect copyright.PENANASSw3umlVKH
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAYkrs7t4epW
也,沒法忘記。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAfiiDSWrpwd
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAkAJJembvPX
而且…也沒法理解。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAUcF3oWutWx
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAAYTnzNumUo
明明妍妍叫我不用在意她,去處理和童桐之間的事,結果卻變成了這樣子。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAK1ycCUIYfI
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAqu8fi3LbzI
反倒有點對不起她了呢,我這爛人。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA5JkBqDgyMf
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAPIdn0DIX4C
我轉身胡亂地擦去眼淚,以免自己在童桐面前出醜。但這時背上傳來陣陣的溫暖,陣陣的柔軟,童桐從後抱住我,把頭靠到我背脊上,用耳朵貼住我的肌肉聆聽著我的心跳。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAQypbHSwxv6
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAU6GLUpqxZW
「只要你係我身邊,你要嬲我幾耐都無所謂。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAGKBH5mcxrz
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAGYPov8PVZG
「……」1072Please respect copyright.PENANADTCZF60RMQ
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAjCOFAbRvDu
「因為我地都應承過大家,嬲幾耐都好,最後都會搵返對方,唔準絕交,唔準永遠唔彩對方落去架嘛。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANA34URhJvnsz
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA6SgTfNIA4R
她能聽到我的脈動,反之亦然。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAJfYygbksGZ
1072Please respect copyright.PENANABx1hr3W0gq
我雖然沒法直接聽到,但我感受著童桐的每一下呼吸,每一下心跳,胸膛的每一起伏。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAkA0KYWTDk1
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAwsaFvOSa1c
「只要你無事就好,我個晚真係好驚。」童桐說。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA43MRovetL8
1072Please respect copyright.PENANADarZx4dmSM
「嗯,我都睇到係你救左我。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAgh2eqoPJk1
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAYxazGnG9MF
「但即係係咁…即使你會討厭我,即使你個下已經知道左我係Dora,我唔知點面對你…我都唔想你有事。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAhGEiplLY2W
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAX86Eb0F6Hf
曾經她只求唯有我別討厭她。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAReN8qiWbc4
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA0JAHE7G45K
曾經她即使全世界討厭她也不怕,因為有我在她身邊。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAstsSmW4r0s
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAQCc6jbkGkj
…現在即使連我也討厭她,她也只想我安全健康。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAAj3PFhYUxU
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAPAArykQiLA
你叫我怎樣對你生氣,童桐。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA5MBMzdyWG7
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAouV6TyqIsl
「我…好多謝你,童桐。」我說,的確是她救了我。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAWb5Wxnn6ga
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAvnfowdlS1O
「…到你覺得可以講既時候,就同我講。」童桐說,「我地只要互相坦白,然後互相再接受,互相理解對方,一定可以捱過呢一關。」1072Please respect copyright.PENANAMQVJPFSrtc
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAKfEZQqIXvI
咦?1072Please respect copyright.PENANAoe9EJNy3Xa
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAUbeO04sKhw
腦中如一道清泉流過…我覺得這就是我和童桐最大的差異之處。1072Please respect copyright.PENANATZ7FMYH2zE
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAoOZW6NTuRK
「接受與否」,是我的想法。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAvTmp2Z0iPI
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA8V25R5nm1N
「如何接受」,是童桐的想法。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA6APOs1oRQD
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAT1nR72aVy6
那天晚上我和童桐沒有得出任何答案,甚至說沒有任何進展。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAAVjeTWM2o4
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAE3UOTsX39A
她甚至沒有提出我希望中的苦衷,使我可以諒解的苦衷,只能得出「性格使然」的絕望答案。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA3HbdVfzLVv
1072Please respect copyright.PENANArwIFRMg1HX
老實說,場面比我想像中平靜,至少我們沒有向對方咆哮或痛哭。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA9xHkSunAdo
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA085DborP2p
但是…無力感漸漸佔據了空氣,佔據了心底,連情緒該發洩向何處也沒有著力點。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA7oJexvhGKj
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAlm8ip26Xay
我寧願和她痛痛快快吵一架,也不想這樣子…1072Please respect copyright.PENANAf78fy9zmXI
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAbVrCXC7HHs
…我真的不想。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAWxWyt4SN9I
1072Please respect copyright.PENANA2HAMBHX7wr
至於和她坦白的話,我覺得不是時候,所以也沒有說出口。我需要時間去沉澱,去思考,去好好盤算接下來的做法。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAlkum0QwqmL
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAFOd57IN6o7
活了在幻象中廿多年的我,被狠狠地摔到現實中。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA6bMAH6vSNq
1072Please respect copyright.PENANApuBivSlCLG
現在我要學習在現實中活下去。1072Please respect copyright.PENANAu9RabqZaZO
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAWisepshJUe
第二天早上,距離核彈發射還有153小時。1072Please respect copyright.PENANASzIKQWfag3
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAZHDkJg5guT
童桐的窗簾現在到了早上醒來…也再沒有打開了。1072Please respect copyright.PENANA2Rh41t9X50
1072Please respect copyright.PENANAeFMyMqsGqG
那兒,只有一片茫然和我心中懷念。
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【實體書有售】《青梅竹馬真係最難追》
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【實體書有售】《青梅竹馬真係最難追》
作者:
陳立正

篇 #65
結局篇III:我們都沒法理解15082022
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