From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmJI408Hc3
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKE83cosOK
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbmc2C5byy
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtloHRBOSb
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1YGWGmSNU
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡab6M2hi61s
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUScIkuZcz
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvfCLYiuwq
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJKX4WTTk3
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM419mtPXyj
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0O1lAI63Uo
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FwLdifQNH
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTTEtGCqU3
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2sHBKreFt
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjMKEn7hd6
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFVKQbawEW
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe330WWpHCO
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZ0LVqXO1O
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhdtySA2Ou
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfvWHp56uA
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqToayAIULR
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGZMEd8IA5
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipYrerOX5U
and never speak of feelings again.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUjaX5ODRO
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GFbhHlGqD
what would you write in a breakup text?266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCXqdWtnWr
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6v3vh9BWs
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqkF5s2asC
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgzsa2KNaP
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBiwZJghOG
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6nWl4SliF
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWL8nySqhd4
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1BESKid5A
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfYgH2dO6O
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME0xXtYsaU
that was weirdly lovely.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSYcbCiqVs
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOp9dspbut6
was there a form i missed?266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR4J4clzEC
should i be sending muffins?
— maya266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalwAPmz7yw
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtYgKDW4zM
To: [email protected]266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVXV6gDdJZ
Subject: it’s official
congrats.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVARa3rVuJQ
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IePcVgFAE
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNDgryKD9W
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWpGStb0nZ
friend of font victims
266Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqJMpbfcrO
and then Add to home screen.