From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53fZMOSndO
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuw9HlBmtTD
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz6KJx1dSY
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovZDQtat6Z
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7NwV1GJuM
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6DpkITplU
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQX9YoFZa8q
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqn8Dkifsrm
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt9gmmjIY4
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy42cZ2hTV
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvMY7eGYXX
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm7kXmCO9l
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1w0MLj0TpP
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUQv7OBx4J
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYwLoOKqYQ
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWNHZGgST1
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVam6FmNc6M
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVipBKrdW3D
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lGPUI5lb9
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIohJ5K6dO
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJB5OUdstX
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yUk5F5W3k
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2qZQQoCBK
and never speak of feelings again.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3nN1fSryL
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqwffAtiE2
what would you write in a breakup text?68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdWHuBDrqY
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjHJNtxeHc
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstlpJsxeuC
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnp56AS4hHk
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGuNmPXi79
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbljdloNyA
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36tLdH8UOe
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaOWgn3yMB
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsljEEqf0Xh
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud6I4aIFj2
that was weirdly lovely.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUBBjCa8jF
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq31KhllDHA
was there a form i missed?68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfi6URBrHi
should i be sending muffins?
— maya68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqW5uPEmdRo
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8nLNwbOMc
To: [email protected]68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4Jbfbxqze
Subject: it’s official
congrats.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeemHaZBHn
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk55MXtUz2p
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMjSgcEGaM
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjXaMMDiTz
friend of font victims
68Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycz7IpBLPM
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