在很久很久前，大概在中一的時候，林蓁喜歡過一個男生。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1PejmJ4v4
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcSNK3xpLp
當時，她比廿一歲的自己還重四公斤，還戴黑框眼鏡，臉上還有一些痘痘。比起廿一歲，十二歲的她自然是不懂打扮。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpZCspngIU
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzYFf0spjo
那個男生，暫稱他為Y先生，是她的鄰座，平時二人會互相問功課，她文科好，他理科好，因此才打開話題。他和大部分男同學一樣，小息時也會圍在一角，通常玩BS卡，或者約放學後打LOL。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhnSv9QlJp
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRfTL5KIVr
原本，二人一直不熟，林蓁對Y先生無感，畢竟她平常只和女生玩。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm1e46LzzH
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYtBmb88PP
直到，第一次她月經來潮，當時在上課，她只感到下體濕濕的，站起來後，則被後桌的男同學大聲說：289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsKJDDy56m
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8C7f8CsVV
「你條裙有血！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwflt0rd709
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcBYuHrlR6
白色的校裙上有一撻小小的跡，還未凝固結塊，像一朵剛開的花。然後，其他人也跟著起哄。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8eWvTjUcF
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdo5OUwTsz
「大個女啦。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEhgu1K63R
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKKDhndqfN
「哎吔，快啲坐返低。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZjbJ9TdHL
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefHTQgiFY2
「去廁所清理吓。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99yccUcb4O
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPaOX5Tb8X
她腦袋一片空白，無法反應，對於自己竟對月經不知所措——更加不知所措。她沒有郁動，等到Y先生脫下毛衣，圍在她腰上，遮住裙子。他拍一拍她，著她去洗手間。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq38kfMUwqv
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkNd1z0wCX
自從這一次，她就感到自己好像喜歡了Y先生。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanz0i6u3rQ
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpue4JBtqd
當時心思單純，對一個人有意，就寫在臉上，明明晃晃，無遮無掩。Y先生的笑話不一定好笑，但她一定會笑，而且是盡力地笑，咧開嘴角便見不夠整齊的牙，還會嬌嬌地眉眼彎彎。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHE0IRQfppn
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ygSwmnRCx
早上，她先到校，便自願替他到儲物櫃拿當日要用的書。一年一度的社際運動比賽，她會買飲品、小食給他。總在製造偶遇機會，遲他幾秒出課室去洗手間，然後假裝在路上一同回程，碰見，傾多兩嘴。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfGPcRps5L
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIQXyUWPJv
好友說她的心意很明顯，她沒有說什麼，只是怯怯地睜大眼，再四處張望，確定身邊沒有人聽見這段對話。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wiBryA1wK
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMMj73wDEv
終於，有一天，放學後，她知道Y先生會留在課室，便打算一起坐在座位上靜靜溫習。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbr03dLHkSj
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84fXTxvW3a
但到她折返課室，聽見他和同學的對話——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DcR0ll8PD
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdXcBalQtc
「林蓁係咪同你有路？好殷勤喎。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV7sUfsiOC
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v1MQjfjJ5
「咪係囉，又睇你比賽，又送水又送糧！」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9POZ2oC937
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6vZsqX4cj
「仲有啲眼神好痴纏，一唔講嘢就笑住咁望你。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XJnNz2wHn
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Vl0kudv3M
「咦～實係有嘢啦。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsXW79k6FE
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRVedabIsR
她聽見，竟然有點開心。理論上，她在暗戀，可是愛一個人至世上無人知曉，卻是委屈的。她更加期待Y先生的反應。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEu4SlJe0t
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyfbAqoeRx
只聽見他說：289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwepkEWNJx3
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNFNqh6y20
「吓！咪玩啦，豬扒嚟，我先唔會鍾意佢。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVHGWYT7qF
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHDakdMcs7
林蓁心下一沉。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq11KORqQKd
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgZlLwsxI5
「你哋幾親㗎喎。」同學說。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsG9DQvqbT
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiE5c61BTL
她又想，會不會是他口硬？289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWt1u3yiLy
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4DlQOkgAi
「佢係都要痴埋嚟咋嘛，呢啲豬閪，我鍾意佢就真係柒頭啦。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVjZRjahN4
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2LLIe5KVz
「哇！睇嚟你係柒頭！」同學說。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HnNjE2D4G
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HyygLNE5q
「咪再講，再聽到佢個名我要洗耳。戇鳩，我無可能鍾意佢，寧願打一世飛機。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAXeXQnfH6
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNkkUQpQfV
「好過去自瀆啦。」同學說。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsfOZKtFHr
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeW5HttDcNp
林蓁和那天月經來潮一樣，無法動彈，臉上也不能反應任何表情。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CaKAJ0a3w
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX5y53ViRC
最後，她站了一會兒，轉身離去。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKvyVutCGE
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETQdWGUv4z
/289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnS2RwzzfVJ
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZz4D52eYV
翌日，林蓁確實去了買燈泡，但沒有回家。讓父親一人多留在家一天吧——彷彿是一種小小的報復，偏偏只懂得在這些小事上用力。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk1JUFCeVP
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmhJgGexTz
她去見了周立沖。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhd96nxplCX
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVrjnAnG0j
一見面，他便說：「今晚不如我煮，你想食咩？」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWKuUWZ9iB
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFYSAZ5Foe
三年前，二人一起，他也常常為她下廚。他這樣說，令她感到二人又回到從前戀愛時。不知道為何，世間男子千千萬，而她明知他不必然是良人，卻在他回來時洶湧澎湃，難以自控地傾瀉。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPWlwzSu32
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuuc1nx5Ou
「無所謂。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5KBcfAQs7
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYY3kRRXsf
她說「無所謂」，是真的無所謂，並非心裡還有其他盤算，希望別人猜中她未講的話語。畢竟她只需將食物放進口便能填飽肚子，有什麼好要求更多；何況，有人願意煮飯——她已經很久沒有吃過住家飯，對上一次，又是他煮。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtzafwWqbF
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlbAi748sq
家裡沒有飯吃。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpJgflCd6K
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGY5KbfWKk
「都知你又會話無所謂，咁我話事啦。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TvoMgAyhS
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZmGZBthPX
「你煮咩我都食。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoa1dMlYFC
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6OB7tazkE
「傻瓜。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyPaYTVSu5
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVFcJIN38W
他摸摸她的頭。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh585MYRcG
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX6AlLfWat
每次，她都對他的溫柔心動，最初，還會不懂反應，但後來便習慣，臉色自如。能夠和他走到今天這一步，她還求什麼。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3CpeUxnr5
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaBvmomE1S
如果真的有辛苦的時候，也是她自尋的——289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJoqKl4xnK
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbg2poBBJ9
譬如，她是因為喜歡他，才會無法離開這段關係；但他不是，若然情傷已癒，哪需異性的溫柔。他若真的喜歡她，最初又怎會捨棄，或者，現在又怎會回來，由她療傷。可是，即使已有清晰認知，她總想到：反正，青春也是要浪費的，除了自身可以發展的事，感情上，不是花在這個人身上，就是另一個人，倒不如，在遇見更喜歡的人之前，將愛傾瀉到他身上。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAXbnYwE4Q
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6x1YFJaKxg
「快啲煮嘢啦，我好肚餓，嘻嘻。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurwyFBcSxb
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWOxOsckAd
「不如食咗我先。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteUJ5i2Ikq
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxU85G10yW
「唔要你，成身臭汗。」289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7pjtL8W1G
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhqHgh4Fau
可是她又要偽裝成，其實不是非他不可。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGhrvttxvn
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjateDiDUr
愛時時談論「無論如何」，而她的便是：喜歡他，不過又允諾他隨時離開。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTaQzGxVcG
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkuiv0fl0C
她日夜恍神，反覆在腦海練習有一天，他會遇見愛人或是靈魂伴侶之類的東西，她故作鎮定地點點頭、應應嘴，又有一把畫外音著她好好管理顫抖的臉，不要露出濕潤的聲息。久而久之，她便以為，自己已被好好訓練過，可以接受悲痛的離散。連夢也時時出現他，再時時失落。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAPKiMGbLn
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0c8gKBWTh
不過，幸好，現在他在。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnQwJ9qzmT
289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvb9ILuy0QG
心聲太吵鬧，她只能確保自己不要突然發瘋，苛求堅定地被愛。289Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsH1TJi2nK
然後按「加至主畫面」