— No, I don't feel like it.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡithe4dowFc
— But yes, it will be fun.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Au1e4Lkmx
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8RxXaJwyD
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBwjkYBpOi
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuwnStCS48
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnhZ2Ztrq7
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3iwLox3Fb
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhD1Z9KD5t
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUDXh5SYwD
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVthBSZZ8zZ
I can see by his expression that I have a point.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvLn4oJRVc
— Hello, Megan.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx33YPt66j3
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZwhXvqnec
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFyRoeCJ4T
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMcfMPLnOq
— At the high school Halloween party.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUeXpsre6x
— Good idea ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtR1kMghlxT
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3H7Pk5Fbx
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMU42NGJxk
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaF1JMrOG7
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh05q7G4S9S
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq2ZwyH9LI
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwGAyagGkQ
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4E9m8NZD5
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJmpN3FDRT
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPymGFZ2Ta
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90zyBicpWN
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88IJ7o5vJ1
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaJt51KtAU
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv27Di8t1hA
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgEBxtt0Ku
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQgaV0mXsp
The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPG8LWDcB0
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgIYsLEaF9
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNi4rP1L6Z
Immediately, I grimace.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXYY1vzejg
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXbP7Hy7nl
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrCZsVQXbZ
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2yFyzl25q
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWv95QApDU
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6DiD3w1uM
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXLZWvBK7F
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pN9XVrkxq
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNmzHaFQZx
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20z1KuPTXr
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡistLtEWzDq
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCLCZxz9N8
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8SSLBZuoI
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT8rMAGogf
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2gYtk7VTv
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pwjh5LPcU
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi5CPJXZGN
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LNKmFsmkA
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOAmcf7s48
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJj5FwkguKF
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhvVa03Hla
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HwBq73RrX
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlzQklibch
— Ah good ? What ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZGT9hooGQ
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCnNLAw4k6
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2hSzAJUrS
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI8nj6gyGL
— No, but I have never been in love.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScWN0yjqWL
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy13wbcev4P
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9Nkepk8Bk
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3mLoM1FWN
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlybTIZB4D
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkDdsAoN8v
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwnS2ZVQxi
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8Cj4SJ9De
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YkrIGnmvo
— Is my dress okay ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ0o3jH8GU
— You are very chic, admire my father.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0beau7hVX
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA8HXRgyEi
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d1j49EcdX
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWviff36oJ
My mother laughs.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQLCKYhgDv
— That’s definitely your idea ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpqKSP6HCh
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryQSxTaSID
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAkPebQYBJ
— Yes, he’s great ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyXjvKi76S
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjvT4rVj5x
— We are just friends.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmJr1Ccyiz
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtrfGWMkX6
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbL28xbfak2
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9xLQtkqaL
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uiWNtbNns
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jCV1i8bUE
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtdmX5y3dD
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBpPhB7wkT
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv10yKXfDuL
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7LvVBl6Li
— I go ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkELLMk1Qo
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnf7cZ1jhHQ
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j05CRnt5X
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQ4yn8GDC0
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5TQkb49NT
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjeuxkT0Qf
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiomRd3zfM3
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OOOBR9fxD
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9ljTChNGt
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBJPZLbLop
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkmjlIXtfS
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HhpbDfvMv
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr6zYZmmhB
We burst out laughing.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWQeiDTmaK
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqPSqHFCC6
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eEiI2KWu6
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOU0b3YSlFC
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArFBcbBCHL
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtbNrDhFpj
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuavNUFLrI
Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ18qZ5RGDo
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxzk036ll8
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9rHp1mMlL
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFYzux8EcB
He is suddenly serious.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0kIsFqyHd
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrToKHrCrH
I want to tell him, but I hold back.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4fLEgTMCp
Instead, I answer him : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKPqFpy7Jn
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UTOnDFWRr
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOfczJUq7Y
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQACArBLIt
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPW6gD9E0T
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun0SbOirAC
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi9l7DrbbN
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vUzdAAVkd
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcZbdukUKW
— Who wants to start ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSXXvI2B8n
Jessy and I exchange a look.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb9tIF0hoR
"Iron, Meg."390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvVg0gXPdB
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC6z1gSwi5
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMmWlfgCG6
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaQ6qSNGOx
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63DE3hTAtZ
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbvo15ON3v
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogOxM9Fjcp
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuWU3MMXGz
— Thanks.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySxCsW6Dqk
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxssup2cs1Q
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4roTHBLeGL
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2h423svGG
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW2MuHb8Xr
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8lKSQ3o8D
She turns over another card : the Hermit.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJID9DfVsf
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJBPKtZyKV
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBnZdaVrwA
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnduEiiRJO3
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEyigbrHK0
She turns over the last card : the World.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMpM4KUQcu
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiK0oNsKCX
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyHi2iN5BT
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1rz2bzdGj
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxHPBNqYy5
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTehm2DF9F5
— Jessy, are you okay ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4yzMF8oC1
— Yes, very good.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSEgIFyV0z
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLD1XZjWQI
He stops and turns to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7be6gN6roH
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdfsCArkya
— It wasn't that clear to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzg1BEiMcY
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUrE3NPqbW
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMrOckt4XD
My reply makes Jessy laugh.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrvnFcbLFK
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmcq9ynUhd
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwls78JS9yL
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHMmZDQY5c
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW22gtNpYSG
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCucXpotgs
— You are thirsty ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YqBnZ4tpc
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADsdNrgMat
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDHewLtmyO
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZh6DqIBJtJ
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7zoqdtQ9c
— Come Dance.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUoQe1aeNt
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fMhk0JTOh
— I thought you didn't dance ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbMMiY5kWf
— I never said that.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZVCoYv51T
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iT647fNR4
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnkgH4dnRV
— What is…390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmQYbf1bot
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SHEEhd6wr
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hnvlH06k9
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr41YJKCV69
We lean against a car.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN64g8KJqR8
— Why are you shaking ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhcIilaVDE
I question him timidly.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAgqWoevxS
— I don't really want to talk about it.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicOAZ9p6mH
— But you are livid ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nA6Kb7i1H
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqM9bofSq2A
— Agree as you like.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyg0fg1C61P
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmhIxKZ4Iw
— Shall we go back ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcayEFVXTQ
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQThUF66nC
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wgGzIbYnr
— All that ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0FJ7dAYCe
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaifY8DJLaV
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2K6D0eo4t
Jessy turns to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8vSiTA2Wr
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriZeNDDSSj
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IzwqNjC4r
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrcbppDqVu
He nods silently.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQCsMgvUrY
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUl2CcfcI5E
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimPhVmi5sr
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuuxT0HtlX
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVehrtOHrh
A black car stops next to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnstUsfUav1
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8aEo8wc2n
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Zo519KDCm
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJuq10eirt
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQJYXdKdh3
— Where are we going ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VpE4OB9RY
— It's coming ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwOkeiltBh
— At the cinema ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KU12LUJRR
— Non. 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLa1qj1Mntt
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzYjs70U8M
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvtxCHNAnT
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo6Ljmmbyw
— Your parents won't be worried ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaSAt6yrJ1
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOhfw4fiaw
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1s4LgBqMg
Still want to come ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOYbi6Psgr
He gets onto the highway.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hLpUYXXAp
— Totally ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJfD7cXScw
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV6xoDaizS
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuWbQYfNlL
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iFnNqWYTW
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYkCYqM3HC
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIbQBwvVS7
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4aSN5V45K
— Is this where you lived ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllFLcJ87hu
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t6XfovTvI
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVvPGqA17p
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubXUXCcaij
— What ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iSaadXbWZ
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5KzCQKT86
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMgtEdm3vt
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAiDnRe1ey
— Come on, let’s go.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEESJCE2fz
I remain stunned.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OyXjbAWHT
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5h3q1UO8P
He stares at me, his face frozen.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6pNaCz70J
— I am scared.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnlYif3T6S
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnnSvC4jSs
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMug6UxGU1
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JvJDbcscb
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0Mnyv5qfJ
— Did it go wrong ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUzeCoTakt
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9lQpzAPMV
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpoclShmkD
— Haley died five months ago.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUyraIVFTp
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqggy538ABc
— Is that all his mother told you ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7czI3NPbbS
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ384BDs4Nc8
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4IBIl6jCb
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8Oy8XrP0Y
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JiAq98v3T
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCb1hsFK0WM
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVEyN8hjDb
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaog8dm9TwJ
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYPUKMDqAi
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM68rlH4lL
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlZxvoD1jI
Soon his fist is bloody.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYz0BMElBeA
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaZ2l5yWic
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZir8qEUQV
— For what ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVgVm2cMBR
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX5dPtP07Y
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46iEdRxTKy
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmuM1J2ghE
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1WFdbJEp5
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4XWZBskAD
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6vbSFPz9z
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJpmy1lI60
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxU2qmMsk0L
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeZeGQlFvb
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtHsxTw2lm
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dzQJ9PEDI
— Why do you feel relieved ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepJBqwPxeF
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoqOgmyd9c
— For nothing, forget it.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu9kkvDjpv
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1Y2xgnDp7
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEV7quqhD1
He looks at me, incredulous.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktJycPgocr
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTl0DLta6v
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguCxi8943R
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMemp7TQ1W
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVN1z3PHsN
— I'm not going back with Chad.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwulU3GqbT
— It's true ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0WTrKOxBU
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDyFpid4Vj
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZsSohlaGb
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM0tavDrD2
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJS1a5cFxj
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHq6Q9zqeTg
I fiddle with a button on his coat.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEH6iUJb2p
— It's true.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPP3VR1gBu
He purses his lips and says : 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzO0fL3JL8z
— Do you want to go out with me ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlkuy2MHJ8
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwGs3J0MfD
Jessy gives me a big smile.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqlMyUUFE8
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhsuRxXSH5
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDfdOr5zXk
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCTcWvK2V3
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjBvkwcSF8
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeiSJdvmB5
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8YCruWuTg
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvfiCxTyXM
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2kTUu18ep
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxttoTExOt
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZxMtF1WLW
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQZkNs2Rv6
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzsStUivsr
— Where are we ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5sABCbJyIS
— Come with me.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX9z39oqD3
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9wVPsv1nR
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmICJUEDow
With tears in his eyes, he nods.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWITVFnyAU
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47w7IwliJP
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03rUEeEPW1
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HIbG9KRYO
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9G9yYAbyEP
— No, it’s meant for you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhAVlAuCaI
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TRXffx4hL
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqayZ2HCG8h
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy8N1rBr7u
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡek4gTMg7BI
Jessy, 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcpwoVeKh7
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDk5xEE0pOx
If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLVufDgg83
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCVJOfPeFy
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5lDSJ4bNt
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXRUZPKxlx
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJmdzRs8Jd
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIUNMSfJy4
Haley 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYjFeCO2xU
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETNausGoqR
390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYa9IlurP5
These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5OKpa1rcP
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmkpbipLpY
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFzACwDWOq
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfWBjRqOTn
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91XxbjvHbK
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc7qmpXS9y
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgKxMOJB7q
He holds out his hand to me. 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PdXdPpql9
— With pleasure.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeklBZsxb8
« I’m on your side 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ1yiRg1iN
You know I’m not the enemy. » 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwjm7yzgt4
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP79YDxehI8
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4ErnJ4BEB
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRurpSO3gw
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Q5qpfaFfX
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKlMtLpIUE
« I’ll hold on to you. » 390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SdOAPUW3D
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojtbSiOeUk
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »390Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyy37KtMf7
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