THE FOOL. - Hope Was All I Had

There are things… and there are people.

Some I know.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpi9XvL2UP3
Some I love.

And somehow, the ones I love… they never stay.

I never asked for much.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsYMUYrhyr
Not love. Not promises.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOQydPzvNi
Just her presence.

But saying goodbye—typing it even—is far easier than living with it.

Because I cared. Deeply.

And now, I don’t know how to remember life before her.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEzOllLVlq
Before the shared evenings, the bus stops, the laughter, the silences.

Still, I knew I had to let go.

Not for me.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQpCr6wTK9
For her.

Because if me walking away gives her peace, then I’ll walk.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAmrzw8AQD
Even if it means leaving behind the part of myself I found in her.

But I didn’t want it to end quietly.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIELN2uklB
I wanted it to hurt, to leave a mark—because that’s what she meant.

And so, I became the villain in my own story.

I decided: if she needs a reason to forget me, I’ll give her one.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPhrCsL5gl
A clean break. A wound that heals with time, not confusion.

So I dug out what I buried long ago—36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9tXMwB0R1
The confession.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8W1wWQCph
The one I promised I’d never say.

I poured everything into a message—everything I was, everything we were, and everything I wanted her to be.

And one night, between externals, I confessed.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQ7vcPVYBK
Over WhatsApp.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuygxBS6AAC
No buildup. Just heart.

I told her the truth she never asked for.

And I knew the answer.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzp5Krhmp8i
Of course I did.

It would be a no—36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQ16MXkOKO
In the present,36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth8yKSYz5V
In the past,36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKvyXSjp1J
And in any faraway future I could imagine.

But she replied:

“I need some time.”

And I said I would wait.

Not because I believed the answer would change—36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQV5jQSBRW
But because that’s what confessions are for.

To end things the way they should’ve never begun.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnKVyE4JM2

She asked that if I knew what her answer would be.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRU9RRhnGw
I replied 49/51.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxoVZa0mF6
Knowing damn well that it was 100% a No.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa9KLPJp83
36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFCuOEpJju
but something deep inside replied with a 49% a Yes.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qGXoYsqkM
even it couldn't say Yes a 50%.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnfG8idQaJ
cause It and I knew from a long time.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaG2QB21Cc
36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0NBXuYmkD
The externals started.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRfAgFOpu5
The rush came back flying.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoc6QLjKgY
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While I was in a war with thoughts.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEYO6njtfz
And as the days went on.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡib0jYHCjnQ
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One random night, while I waited in silence,36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoCuolsOHR
The universe had one more tragedy to give.

Outside my home, I sat alone under the sky—my mind a war zone of logic and hope.

My mother stepped out for a walk, along with Potti—my dog, my companion—and her one and only pup.

The pup didn’t even have a name yet.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FfzdJBkzf
I was waiting for Seren to name her.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqITMH0A01z
But life didn’t wait for names.

Suddenly, a pack of street dogs came rushing.

They attacked—vicious, fast, merciless.

Without thinking, I ran to them—bare hands, bare heart.

I tried.

God, I tried.

Screaming, pushing, shielding Potti and the pup.

But it wasn’t enough.

They bit me, tore into my arms and legs,36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfYtaKGUsD
while I wrapped myself around the ones I loved.

Six dogs.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ESZbqAX1R
No help.

Until my father and neighbors came rushing.

But by then—

It was too late.

In my arms, Potti lay still—36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKupUoI3aza
Her fur stained with blood, her neck torn.

The pup, her tiny body broken, missing a leg,36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1ksL9Twt6
barely breathing.

We rushed them to the nearest hospital.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKmZt9rtX5
Tears finally came after years of holding them back.

But hope was all I carried.

And hope was not enough.

They couldn’t save them.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXqkCdmSW8
No one could.

And I was left—36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTLEURDl04
Bloody.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4WtmVF0FK
Bitten.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD1FEupJ01
Alone.

A boy with too many wounds—36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe70bW7t1JS
Some you could see.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03ZxQN2R39
Most you couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do.

So, that night, I messaged her.

“Hey, are you awake?”

There was silence in my house.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyDmvR3DQb
And an even louder one inside me.

I had an exam the next morning.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTkTWtgM4J
An external.

But nothing felt more urgent than that question I couldn’t stop asking:

What matters more—36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVy6r74fzT3
The present or the future?

Until that night, I never even thought about it.

But that night… I got my answer.

Both matter.

And yet, when forced to choose, we weigh them.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYEa9MgjVT
We try to balance what we feel and what we know.

The heart says stay.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWATLRblRec
The mind says go.

One believes.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbsazE8Ey6
One doubts.

One clings.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kNHX2yDo0
One lets go.

And so I waited for her reply.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyNJ0t1sBf
But it didn’t come.

Morning came instead.

Same bus.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNwimya9rt
Same college.

But I wasn't the same.

I wore a mask—like always.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddnHUc1qjF
Attended the exam.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4wyz3Ea2t
Laughed with friends.36Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIWx1Cdxfz
Pretended.

Because that’s what Rudeus is for.

But who could’ve guessed?

That in the evening—

After everything had burned down—

The answer to my confession would finally arrive.

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