【廣東話｜都市懸疑】落地開眼見劍俠 - （十八）

客人面色不好，都幾恐怖，偏偏一臉天真，神情興奮到不得之了。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpn1D3wwLV
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGbQcNwNyD
他企在我旁邊，活潑地對師傅說了句：「君王頭上耍單刀！」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQ6ajPQc6h
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhIgvz5K5m
師傅本身手中拿住件尼龍袍，聽到客人的話，就一臉得意，一手把尼龍袍揚開讓客人穿手入去：「四方豪杰盡低頭啊，講暗號，實識咩，你以為天地會？」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUvhoWSm1z
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKtQjK8gtP
「咁師傅一陣係咪你幫我烤草，果位師傅就幫我漿草？」客人邊問邊穿手進去尼龍袍，我雖然聽唔明客人講乜，不過佢話「果位師傅」時候明顯係指我。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyZnAD1amJ
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgTwXC06ep
漿草？烤草？我果陣心諗幫咩佢漿草。後來我才知道烤草是剪髮，漿草是洗頭，華人幫派與一些傳統行業都會用一些外人聽不明的語言來溝通。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2WXnvF1F2
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbDuFsTBfG
師傅尖聲屌了一聲，被客人引笑到見到煙屎牙唔見眼，「你隊草添啦同埋，出去睇真啲，呢度叫上海理髮公司咩？好彩啊叔識野你考我唔到，試吓叫我度佬丫，整波你個頭架！」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuKhhnOLH5
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSbxNiQTmU
整波，原來是整衰，度佬，就是理髮師傅，當然我也是後來才知道。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP20esJHB4
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gFmQHR7JJ
客人自己整理衣襟，答道：「整波你個頭架！我知，上海街理髮吖嘛，我有病，最中意留意埋人哋走漏眼嘅野啦，所以你地唔算上海理髮舖咩？」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpVPTqOo8K
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgDIOY1L2B
「呢度廣東理髮舖，洗頭剪髮都係我做架啦！上海師傅先會分開唔同人搞。」師傅再答。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggKvShKVYY
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgiEbg0myV
「咁果位叔叔做咩架？」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp061PHZ9bg
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR34GCDBIQN
竟然叫我叔叔，我雖然唔介意，但呢位細佬都幾無禮貌。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhBr3XLmBO
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qjdeRtfFn
「專門幫我開熱水爐囉！嗱，佢一陣呢，發完哞哣果陣，就會醒爬行去開牆上面粒掣！」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5EBSZ6TuU
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTOODJQ3cF
我立即仆去開洗頭間隔牆上的水爐掣，橫置的白色圓桶型水爐發出了擎擎聲，我留意到水爐上的牌子寫住「berlin」，心諗一定是德國牌子，這時原來客人在留意我留意緊咩，竟然無啦啦開口講解：「呢個柏林牌係香港本土牌子嚟啦，當年係佢哋第一家本地製造電熱水爐，1967年到宜家，你睇招紙下面都有寫住Since 1967啦。」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwaUD6Pxl4
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0hO2ynWhk
「哦，你識咁多野嘅！」禮貌講聲，不過我都無問。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLTZBeGA4q
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oaOoymK35
「識咁多野嘅！無計啦，有病吖嘛！我哋六個一齊變做人，又會你正正常常，我又會咁嘅！真係好笑啊！」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIps1NHngTG
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Bw7KUVM6u
「咩病啊，咁巴閉！過嚟洗頭啦！」師傅招手示意客人行去洗頭。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatEchl8ma8
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXc6gf7P88v
「哎呀，唔係巴閉啊，我係自閉症患者嚟架！我有病架！唔巴閉啊！」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgIpZpAaa1
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU9nxIszhf
「挑！」師傅一邊打開花灑試水，一邊回應：「架巴士反車果陣，你摟實咗隔離細路女個頭，人地都唔洗嚟飛髮，你唔巴閉咩！」388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF56R4j4wo
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCirCELjPjU
反車！那就代表客人也是死於車禍了。想像到可能是我與新郎的撞車連帶害到這位客人反車身亡，我覺得血管裡面的血像是結了冰，兩腳不自覺慢慢後退，最終我跌坐回到紅皮長櫈上，感覺整個人都在外太空飄浮。388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnS3Pjn4SK
388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjUK9Qf8Kc
如果總共有六條魚用咗Mandy個身體，會唔會今日就要六條魚一齊車禍死？唔計埋我，咁我係咪害死咗五條命？388Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bP960uLVg

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