《窮撚被女飛之鳩闖魔法世界》 - 第一章 - 窮撚總要重複的被飛

「Come on, James，可唔可以成熟啲呀? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UEdS8njWr
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBP3jErEPqu
嘩屌！Come on James? 雖然我係叫占屎，但Evelyn你唔係要將陶公子嘅潮文同我講一次呀?1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfgAMM74MB
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XrgnKC6vM
我放下手上的星冰樂，有點傻眼的看著眼前的女朋友，Evelyn，她剛從澳洲Working Holiday回來一個月。我倆剛討論我們的未來，我只是有點敷衍的回答了一下，就得到了這句「Come on, James」。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEDduuIJrN
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7u7pRDWi0N
「你有無發覺，自從我喺Australia返嚟之後，我哋好似有啲唔夾? 」在Starfuck內，她一面調拌著眼前的Chamomile Tea，一面宣讀她的判詞，完全無視這杯Chamomile Tea其實係唔需要攪勻的。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscyqqPGbo9
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn6MbWCOoR
「I mean，其實喺畢業之後，我哋嘅世界好似越嚟越遠，我諗，大家都到咗呢個年紀，係咪應該冷靜咁find out，點樣去解決呢場crisis呢? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUal5rABo9
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVC4L3RfXhy
我頂你個肺！你唔駛真係將篇潮文嘅對白背哂出嚟呀? 而家真係去過一年Working Holiday就大撚哂? 每講一句都要夾硬插啲英文單字入去?1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpALbLzk5u
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90vDkHtpzZ
雖然我不是潮文中滿臉暗瘡，架著銅絲眼鏡的毒撚，但這些對白一樣觸動了我的自尊神經。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoi6YmUOyX
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuTfMJf3zj
我嘗試作出最後掙扎﹕「我知，你即係嫌棄我啫。你返到嚟就即刻入咗魔根屎單尼，你叻你好嘢。我只係做緊個文員仔，要返5日半仲要成日OT，我配你唔起，但我會努力賺錢，我哋公一份，婆一份，一樣可以買樓結婚㗎。」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMW7H0l5HK
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXRGuganJw
Evelyn輕輕搖頭，狀甚遺憾﹕「係Morgan Stanley。」她頓了頓，又道﹕「喺你眼中，我就係一個咁現實嘅女仔? 其實我哋嘅differences，喺畢業嗰陣已經出現，我有叫你同我一齊去Australia，但你點答我? 你話已經搵到工，話去一年嘥時間，我喺嗰刻就一直諗，我哋係咪屬於兩個唔同level嘅人。」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnL9BcRVhnJ
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlCUmagFd6
哪有錢！你老母！1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWAEn4ZhOJ
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEF4dOYSQV
你明知道我一畢業就已經負資產，而且還要儲錢跟你結婚，那還可以浪費一年時間跟你浪跡天涯！1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8BXqaX153
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsSRjEjWTg
我意識到我們已經到了無可挽回的地步，但還是不甘心地上訴﹕「你知道我要還關窿㗎，我都應承咗你等我升職加人工會同你去一次日本。唔通無錢都係一種罪過? 如果係，點解你唔老實講? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRL1aYVePks
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwNpC54jck
「I'm not talking about money, you know that.」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcAX4zHWCQ
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvqfB8U8gA
撈? 我撈你老味！1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXnkMEwaAt
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf1PmzpRUE
我忽然冷靜下來，沒有像潮文中的毒撚發脾四就咁走咗去。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfBu8reMM5
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduz9XlzPHu
或許，變了心的女人，就像借出去的錢一樣，找收數佬也收不回來。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIiJeQeCqR
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTHZ8oLAau
「咁，分手啦。」我揮一揮衣袖，不帶走一片雲彩。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Nkug15dJe
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIRaXSB3Tr
Evelyn的嘴角若有若無的向上彎了一下，然後微微點點頭﹕「James, we are still friend.」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl5zQzqe9u
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBgMtHM7UF
她輕輕呷了一口微涼的Chamomile Tea，然後站起來，離開。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPZZVxT64B
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLSR5itpQz
我惆悵的看著眼前只剩半杯的Chamomile Tea，憶起跟Evelyn剛相識時她的一臉羞澀，那個怯怯的濕吻，那夜在宿舍輕輕脫下的胸圍，那對溫軟動人的33C，肉體與肉體碰撞時的啪啪聲，還有那令人念念不忘的口技......1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZulUJ323w
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOiE9h4BiA
你老母！1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2V0Qevm0CV
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQeN45rUem
我一拍桌面，發出的呯然巨響嚇得周圍只買一杯咖啡卻坐一整天的偽文青目定口呆，然後霸氣地離開這個傷心地......1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdnPhSksaj
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUDelx6tAr
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnROfEi4owp
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy54GFWZnZ
正當我昂首闊步走到街上，打算用霸氣遮掩被飛的事實時，一輛R8在我身側駛過。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2wOTTsl8a
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR8h0143b1
我瞄了車廂一眼，坐在副駕的，正是剛飛走我的Evelyn，她正巧笑倩兮的跟司機聊天。我再看真一點，那個司機，身無四両肉，梳著一個比比鳥頭，身穿窄身slim cut粉藍色西裝，是一個比MK更MK的MK仔。而這個MK仔，赫然就是那天跟Evelyn一起從澳洲回來，Evelyn說是在飛機上認識的ABC。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd01dv7pMno
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrxLNfbMK3
我隱約感到，我在香港Holiday Working的時候，她已經在Working Holiday途中送給我一頂綠油油的綠帽。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdvf6h9v8e
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKk24VWRq3
屌那星！的士！1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JRkAxC1O7
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzUBV9UQuu
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFMvSHqDOu
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7QwlFKsxQ
怒從心中起，惡向膽邊生！我毅然伸手截的，並跟司機說跟著前方的R8。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8LEhT8rss
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ouolzl6E2
司機從倒後鏡中瞄了我一眼，我吼道﹕「唔駛望啦，係拍緊戲呀！快啲追上去啦！後面成隊crew跟緊呀！」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kCfE3yaPk
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYNzNpBfPn
的士司機立刻像吃了春藥一樣，發動引擎馬上就追了上去。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLtSVo2ytE
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgopwFK4AW7
司機的聲音很興奮﹕「拍緊咩戲呀? 我有無對白㗎? 邊個做男主角呀? 係咪發哥呀? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCqey4o48T
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5AIrsH0P7
其實我唔多想理佢，但係為咗令佢發揮佢嘅小宇宙，我唯有指住我粒衫鈕話﹕「呢道裝咗個微型鏡頭，你嘅角色係一個過氣嘅一級方程式賽車手，性格沉默寡言，為咗屋企人放棄自己嘅賽車夢轉而揸的士。今日我咁啱上咗你部車去追揸R8嘅歹徒，你要發揮你所有潛能追上去，有無問題? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX6EKVNEZ1
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcxZQOTtIR
「無問題！交比我！」的士佬興奮的大聲回答。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTPm0PYRag
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfr9G36VO4
「好！頭先嗰段我會叫導演cut咗佢，一陣我嗌action你就即刻入戲！」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD74ALCeH0
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCFEbZ6v8Z
的士司機馬上撥一撥稀疏的髮絲，然後給了我一個堅定的眼神。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dtymWq1Ff
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Jy1yYuY4A
「Action！」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLCgx2Qtxw
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxw9kl1u0f
一聲令下，引擎咆哮一聲，的士呼嘯而去，在高速公路上逢車過車。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxmtB1suG5
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYRIHvSMmb
眼看就要跟R8並排而行，比比鳥像發現被人跟蹤，R8越駛越快，漸漸拋離我們。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUS2nmh0udV
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlKSOMAYfN
老實說的士司機的技術認真不賴，只是顯然比比鳥也不是吃素的，而且車款性能明顯不止輸一個檔次。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny2zVJGsEe
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnTCu0w0hA
眼見遠方的R8駛離了高速公路，到我們跟上去的時候，他們已經消失無蹤，而且我們也被逼停在交通燈前。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkFrHueltC
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzh1tYChtG
我一拍椅背，深深不忿﹕「仆你個街！咁都追唔到！」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRUvMd6B5y
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkWoZd1e0k
的士司機很稱職的演繹沉默寡言的性格，他只是利用倒後鏡用眼神問我﹕「咁而家點? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9ybdB3aDz
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoek0rsY7C
雖然我也不知道截住他們有甚麼用，但我有點死心不息﹕「喺附近兜幾個圈，睇吓撞唔撞到。」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOriebAvwi
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFn1zxi9xK
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLenaiNEgna
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8BCYMY270
的士司機按我的指示在附近兜截，但明顯地R8已經逃離現場，我一無所穫。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB1geLQui2
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMTiPhbIW7
我垂頭喪氣伏在前方倚背，腦袋放空，完全不知道該怎樣做。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamqOU2mLqG
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjY7ia1OXL
的士司機輕聲問我﹕「咁我哋下一場戲係點呀? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwf1P7MWY6c
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpx83V51SE
我從銀包中拿出一張五百元遞給他，有氣無力道﹕「車我去一個無人嘅地方，我要冷靜吓。」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvP2J13Zbo
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviQKt8cJSg
他接過鈔票後，一聲不響的開車，過了不知多久，我感到引擎關掉了。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNJlKmSbXa
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqB54aIZUtD
我抬頭一看，車外有點灰濛濛一片，有草有樹，四野無人，是一條窄窄的山路，這裏是甚麼地方?1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtMhSmy4Ck
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeywCzNdgi
「好cut！Good take！」是時候令他回歸現實。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEktjcJrww
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a2LiZLZxh
的士佬馬上一輪嘴問我﹕「點呀點呀? 我演成點呀? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEo7O1xn4Hc
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsMm7YwlBl
我戴上藍芽，裝作正跟導演溝通﹕「呀......好好！導演話你演得入型入格，做得非常好！」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgUJMeeDYb
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1nqJvpHzc
「係? 咁我會唔會仲有戲份? 其實我覺得自己好戲過林雪，而且又靚仔過佢！」他又撥一撥稀疏的頭髮。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8icZTYVlJR
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjc6fQ3nuA
我打開車門，下車之前跟他說﹕「導演喺我頭先上車嗰度拍緊另一組戲，你去搵佢，睇吓佢會唔會安排一下啦，我會同你講幾句好說話。」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz134l126is
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwrCQbkk9n
的士司機千恩萬謝﹕「唔該哂你呀哥仔，我攞金像獎嗰陣一定會多謝你㗎！係呢，點稱呼呀? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZj11hIAEa3
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQrmNa5Cht
「叫我Come on James啦......話時話，呢度邊度呀? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaJdwegQ5b
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFfi8OWru9
「大帽山呀，你話要無人嘛，駛唔駛我車返你去搵導演? 」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KPUIPM5Lm
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQb5NU7tf3N
我揮揮手﹕「唔駛啦，我仲要演一幕獨腳戲，一陣會有人接我啦，你走先啦。」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR6U7VePWm
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucyZanug3b
的士司機露出羡慕的表情，然後依依不捨的離開。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkimqkEjM0L
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68HYQOWlFZ
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2ea1nt0uj
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW49sQ7kfv
我看著漸漸遠去的的士，又轉頭望向另一方向，看來這條路可以一直上山頂，就上去看看吧。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlphGyufWGz
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTgYpLsPaW
走著走著，我到了一個可遠眺城市的地方，看著一棵棵如火柴般的樓宇，心裏不禁在想，我到底是為了甚麼而努力? 辛苦讀書工作，OT受氣，換來的，就是一頂綠帽?1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKenNv026up
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cG59cl0zB
我忍不住撿起一塊石頭，使勁丟到遠方，然後向天大嗌﹕「死仆街港女！」1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv3McfC8sJ
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE9YEqGwSd
轟隆！1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQWu3HuEVb
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX71usuQYGr
回應我的，卻是一聲雷響。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqVyj8dY2g
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBe9m0E3xI
我嚇了一跳，然後瞄一瞄天空，灰灰暗暗的正被密雲籠罩，似是快要下雨。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrZoEdhgRi
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrw25zgrcqr
屌！連個天都唔鍾意我? 你等我落咗山先好落雨喎！1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoZYMCyR3d
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPvjMhHa4M
才走了幾步，正想打電話call的士之際，突然感到尿急。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBFSGJjWmx
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfYUac0ylu
我左望望右望望，視線範圍之內，不要說廁所，連坑渠都沒有一條。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ76CNsTZsi
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FUhXiwo4H
算了，反正無人，求其快手屙咗篤尿就走。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtyvWuLcQl
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGjrl8w0xM
我走到路邊的一棵樹下，對著樹幹拉下褲鍊就開始小解。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdFfSyvxbY
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeO6eaSmHR
正當我才開始解放，卻已經下起大雨。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1o0AD45szE
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeRGiJ3xlV
我頂你！你落雨都比我屙埋先啦！駛唔駛咁趕呀?1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGpDZTnh6q
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAySVsHSxQf
我馬上氣運丹田，使勁將所有尿液盡快逼出體外，樹幹已經被我濺得濕漉漉一片。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QxJmMwGuD
1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAxPyWM8B0
卻說這個時候，突然眼前白光一閃，耳際一聲雷響，我感到身體如遭電亟，鼻端傳來一陣燒焦味，然後我就失去了知覺。1951Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9ZcwD1mXa