The guy I went up against in my MMA fight was around a foot taller than me and looked pretty muscular. He also looked like he never bothered to brush his teeth. That, or he just smokes every ten seconds.
The guy had the ugliest smirk ever when he saw that he was fighting me. Made even uglier by his hideous teeth.
"Is this seriously my opponent? A fifth grader?"
I just grinned. "How you doin', kind sir? The name is Alexander Benjamin Cooper V. Or Alex Cooper for short. What's yours?"
"Little boy, I think you might be lost. Do you need someone to call your mommy? My phone is right over there."
I swear, the insults are getting less and less interesting.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, too," I replied.
The guy only kept the ugly grin on his face for about half a second after the match started. Three punches, two kicks. That's all it took. The match didn't even last thirty seconds. I think that may be my personal record.
"You mind if I actually start calling you Atom Bomb?" Jared, one of the guys from the MMA club, asked me after the match. Yeah, the guys now know who Atomnaya Bomba is. Boy, did they get excited when they first figured out that a former professional boxer was part of their club.
"Go right ahead," I replied. "That is practically my name, after all."
Before heading to my MMA fight, I had spent a few hours with Elena and Yulia. Like I said, there can never be too much daddy-daughter time. We spent around two hours at the pool and then immediately grabbed ice cream afterwards. Which, of course, led to Yulia getting chocolate ice cream all over her swimsuit. At least she was already damp this time and much easier to clean off.
A woman at the pool was staring at me practically the entire time. Obviously because her mind is trapped in this little bubble of closed-minded stupidity and she couldn't tolerate seeing a man/teenage boy happily playing with two little girls in a pool. That or because I was wearing speedos. Yes, I wear speedos to swim. I haven't worn swim trunks since I was like eleven. Simply because speedos are just way more comfortable to swim in. I know speedos are universally made fun of, but I so don't care. Until they become illegal, I'll keep on wearing them. Keep staring at me lady, nothing's going to change.
Though I did make sure to put a shirt and shorts on before we headed to grab ice cream. I don't know if it's considered indecent exposure for a guy to wear speedos in public and I don't want to find out for sure.
Anyway, after the girls and I got home, we changed back into our regular clothes and I grabbed my speaker and put on "Pesenka Druzey/Song Of Friends," a popular Russian children's song that the girls and I love to sing and dance to. The three of us can spend hours listening to that song on loop and dance to it. We love it that much. The girls and I spent about twenty minutes dancing together before I grabbed my phone and recorded just the two of them dancing together. Oh man, they are just so adorable together.
That morning, the girls actually let me give them cuter and more unique hairstyles, so they spent the day with these adorable braids I found on the internet that went wonderfully with their beautiful bows. Which came out after our trip to the pool. Oh well, their hair is always beautiful no matter how it is styled.
We spent about close to an hour dancing and singing before I cooked us up some chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. I didn't eat too much, as I didn't want to make myself full before my MMA fight. Then Hayley arrived, I spent about five minutes comforting Yulia as she started screaming and crying (today she at least let me walk out the door without Hayley having to pry her off of me), and then I beat the crap out of The Killer Iguana. Yeah, that was what the guy called himself. Yeah, you're a killer alright. I bet your teeth can kill a person as long as you put your mouth close enough to them.
I got home from the fight around nine and the girls were both still wide awake. On my MMA nights, Hayley always lets them stay up so that they can give me hugs when I get home. Yulia, like always, screamed in excitement and ran up to me like she hadn't seen me in weeks as soon I walked inside the house. Then she kept her arms around me up until I got the two of them in the bath.
After the girls had their bath, we decided have a little more fun together. Playing with out feet. I know that sounds a little weird, but hey, sometimes we get a little creative when we have fun together. The three of us lay down on our backs on the floor and started kicking our feet in the air. Then we all held up our feet and started wiggling our toes. Next we started clapping our feet together. After that, we put our legs on the ground and started pretending our feet were dancing. We laughed together the entire time. It was a fun and adorable little moment we had together.
After that, the girls brushed their teeth and hopped into bed. Then I read them a bedtime story and gave them their goodnight kisses. And they made sure to give me plenty of kisses as well.
Both the girls jumped up and started kissing me nonstop all over my face at the same time as I leaned down to give them their goodnight kisses. Then I grabbed them, lifted them up, and started kissing them nonstop as well.
Oh man, I love these little angels so much. They've helped me keep a smile on my face even with all the bullcrap that I've had to deal with in these past two years. I can't even imagine where I'd be without them. They will always be the greatest gifts I've ever had.
"Papa, I love you so much," Elena said in Russian after I set she and Yulia back down.
"I love you, Papa," Yulia said.
"I love you both so much," I replied, giving them one more kiss each. "Goodnight, my little angels."
Afterwards, I walked into the living room and immediately stripped off my clothes. That's always one of my favorite parts of the day. I spent a couple of hours laying on the couch in my tighty-whities and watching TV. I try not to eat too much junk food, but I was in the mood for a bag of nacho cheese Doritos that night. Hey, a little bit of bad carbs every once in a while doesn't hurt you.
And yes, I wear tighty-whities. I've always worn tighty-whities. And I'm not at all ashamed to admit it. I freaking love my tighty-whities. They're the best underwear ever. I tried wearing boxers once when I was twelve and good lord I hated them. They just didn't feel right. I hated them so much that I put white briefs right back on as soon as I got home from school. I'm sure there are a lot of people who would laugh at the thought of a guy over the age of nine wearing white briefs and, once again, I don't care. I will always love my tighty-whities.
After a while of watching TV and crunching on chips, I headed off to bed. Tomorrow was Sunday, which meant I would have to spend a good chunk of the day at the laundromat. Yippee. Oh well, it was better than having to spend a good chunk of the day at a crappy coffee shop.
As I turned out all the lights, climbed into bed, and closed my eyes I just felt so at peace. It had been such a great day. Beating up idiots in the MMA and spending time with my precious daughters. Maybe life in Dallas isn't all that lame.
Well...at least that's what I was thinking at first.
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