Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Dean enlisted in the hopes to help secure enough money for Sam to be able to go to college. Of course, he didn’t tell Sam. Why would he? Sam would understand, right? Turns out, Sam didn’t get it, and is giving Dean the silent treatment for over a year. In Dean’s desperation to reconnect with Sam, Dean reaches out to his brother’s best friend. Little does he know that the hurricane named Y/N will turn out to be the reason he wants to stay alive and go back home for.
Chapter Warnings: Ah, another sprinkle of angst, while we’re at it.
WC: 29835Please respect copyright.PENANAqpS4wQWS1G
Y/N hates the campus at night. There are just way too many trees and too many quad columns she has to walk past. People would say it’s romantic when it lights up but honestly, those people have probably never seen a horror movie. It’s not that she’s scared, at least not really. It’s just that it does have this horror movie filter all over it when it’s dark, and…ugh, yeah, so, maybe she is a little scared, sue her.
After her study session in the library, she rushes to her apartment not looking left nor right because it would freak her out thinking that someone could hide in the shadows. God, she should definitely watch less of those true crime documentaries on Netflix. Keeping her head down and her eyes trained on where she walks, because that would be more than embarrassing if she would trip over her own feet like she did this morning when she was carrying scorching hot coffee. She tries to tune out the whispers she hears tucked in the dark corner, tries to not let herself be distracted by movements of shadows close to the park. But it doesn’t matter how hard she tries to keep her pace steady, she can’t help but break into a jog until she reaches her destination.
God, she’s such a coward. But in her defense, she’s a girl alone at night and she remembers Dean drilling her since she was about twelve that girls shouldn’t walk alone at night. She told him off, saying she can take care of herself. He answered that he knows she’s capable and trusts her instincts, what Dean doesn’t trust are other people. Y/N recalls that he always had trust issues, and needed a long time to warm up to someone. She wonders how that worked out since he’s in the army and on the front line. Surely, he had to jump over his own ego and it was probably a long process until he could trust the members of his unit. Even though Dean has trust issues, it doesn’t change that he was always caring and would help anyone in need. It has always been admirable to her.
She’s reserved tonight to answer Dean. At least he said please in his latest email, and she can’t find it in her heart not to. She likes Dean - always had. Whilst Sam was her long-lost brother, Dean was her big brother. He had kind of adopted her into his family and decided that he’s going to take care of her too, since her parents were working long hours and when they were home, they barely had time for her. And while she thinks that Dean was born to take care of Sam, he somehow chooses to take care of her and that’s something she’ll forever be grateful for.
If circumstances were different, if only Sam wasn’t so pissed about Dean going away, she would have reached out to him sooner but she always held herself back so as not to piss off the younger Winchester. There’s no dwelling on the past now, and the fact is, that Dean did reach out and she owes it to him to keep in touch. She doesn’t know if she’ll be able to forgive herself if she won’t at least try to be the meddler in the crumbling relationship between the two brothers.
Since she’d gotten his last email, Y/N had rushed from classes to other places, from work to study group, and an important paper needs to be finished by tomorrow, so she put her priority in her schooling and ignored the email which had been sitting in her inbox for the last four days. It’s really not that she has changed her mind and decided not to answer him, it’s more that she wants to answer him but needs more time to do that because she doesn’t want to come off as rude for her short answers. She reckons that if Dean’s willing to write to her, at least he deserves a good reply. She might have debated on writing him back at all in the beginning because come on, flirting with someone else in an email to her is kind of a dick move, but again, she had to laugh about it because that’s just how he is.
Of course, she’s told Sam about Dean’s emails and of his brother’s willingness to try to get back into Sam’s good graces but he’s still not really sold on the idea. He thinks Dean’s a self-sacrificing asshole and she can’t deny that he’s hitting the nail on the head. But she also gets Dean’s motives. He probably needed something to do since he can’t be his overprotective self and follow Sam (and by proxy her) to college. God, she can’t imagine it would have ended well if he’d follow them out to California.
Y/N takes her time to make some soothing tea in her little kitchenette before grabbing her laptop out of her bag and walking over to the couch. Setting the mug onto the coffee table, she sits down with one of her legs folded beneath her ass.
When she opens her laptop, her phone buzzes in the back pocket of her jeans and she grabs it, thumbs over the screen to get into her messages.
Sam: Hey squirt, what are you up to?
She grins, thumbs already flying over the keyboard as she types out her answer.
Y/N: Just got home
Sam: Only now? It’s 10 pm!
Y/N: Prof Campbell is a dick. The assignment is a joke. It took me forever to finish it.
Sam: Ah, yeah, heard he’s a hardass. Sry ‘bout that.
Y/N: It’s done, so at least there’s that. What are you up to?
Sam: On a date with Jess. I finished dinner, thought you wanna join us for drinks at the bar?
Y/N: Ugh, I’m not really in the mood to go out
Sam: It’s okay. How about we go for a drink and come over to yours? I have a feeling that you haven’t eaten anything yet. I’ll bring pizza.
Y/N: Sam, you don’t have to
Sam: I want to. See you in an hour.
Y/N: Btw, I’m going to write to Dean.
Sam: K. Is he back from his mission?
Y/N: We will never know if you keep texting me.
Sam: Fine. See you!
She grins when she lays her phone beside her on the couch. Sam’s still not over the fact that Dean left to get shot at but he’s worried she knows that much, and even if he doesn’t really talk about Dean, he doesn’t seem to completely shut the subject down whenever she brings it up. It also has to be her who starts talking about the elder Winchester. Sam would never start talking about his brother on his own accord. Still, she thinks it’s a good start.
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From: You [y/[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.PENANAgsYeJg72Fi
To: Dean Winchester [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.PENANADjoO783LWs
Subject: Are you back?
Hey Dean,
First of all, I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner but yeah, uni and work is keeping me busy, especially when someone chooses two majors like me because I can’t seem to make up my mind (I am amazed you still remember that). I’m telling you this just as a fair warning for future emails (yes, future emails. You’ve read that right. Don’t let it get to your head, you’re still an asshole). It may be that my replies will be late but that’s only because I want to make sure that I have a clear mind to write to you. I think you deserve that much since you are making the effort of reaching out to me and by proxy, Sam.
I hope your mission was a success, and I hope you’re back at base, being healthy and still a cocky asshole. Please tell me you’re okay. I wasn’t about to start worrying but now that I think about it, I do worry. I guess I always have but I didn’t know how to reach out to you, and to be honest, I was also frightened that Sam would be pissed at me if I did. So, sorry about that.
You’re remarkable, though. Like, you’re over there, getting shot at, sleeping in bunk beds with sand stuck in your boots and you’re still worried about your brother (and possibly, me). That’s so you, Dean. You’re even mother henning him from afar and more so when he doesn’t even want to talk to you. I admire you, Dean. You always put others first and it doesn’t even matter if you know the person or not. My observations are that as soon as you know that Sammy was going away, you kind of got over your head and rushed in to enlist and be deployed so you can save innocent lives. It has always been about people you want to save and take care of. The innocent ones. It has never been about the bad enemies. If you have to kill them to save lives, that’s just a good end result, right? I know you.
But Dean, don’t forget yourself in this, okay? You have people who worry about you too. You have a brother to come back to, and I know he’s not talking to you right now but Sam worries. When you went away for your first tour, he was at my apartment more often than he was at his own dorm room. We would talk about you. He would tell me how stupid you were for doing it. How if he lost you, he’d be all alone. I had to reassure him that I’d stay. That I’m not going anywhere, and no worries, I’m not planning to. Sam’s stuck with me. He’s the brother I never had. When you re-enlisted, that’s when he lost hope and never wanted to talk about you again. Maybe one day, he’ll be able to. You reached out, and I think it sparkled some hope in him as well.
The thing is, that I do understand Sam’s anger (and I think you do too). The day you told him that you re-enlisted, he picked up a fight with my ex, you know that? Sam never liked the way my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, so the day he got the text from you (mind you, a fucking text, Dean! You didn’t even have the balls to call him!) he beat up my ex-boyfriend, gave him a black eye and a broken nose. Thank god the scumbag didn’t press charges because I was standing right there and he was scared that I’d ruin his reputation (the reputation of what a good guy he is - news flash, he’s not). If he would have, Sam would be in deep shit with his scholarship.
The moral of my story is to tell you, please think about your actions. They do have consequences, you know? Next time you want to be a spineless asshole, think about what it does to Sam, okay?
So, back to us. Writing to scold you was not my intention.
We’re fine. Sam’s found part-time work in the library. He was over the moon at the prospect of spending days with books as you can imagine. I’m working part-time at a coffee house a little off-campus. Sam actually doesn’t have to work, you know that? The tuition is paid but he wants to earn his own money because he wants you to come back. You don’t need to be there to give him a better life, Dean. You’re allowed to come back and relax, I hope you’ll keep that in mind. Somehow, I know that you know this but I also know that you see it as your duty now to go and fight for what’s right in your eyes but maybe, one day, you’ll get it in the thick head of yours that Sam’s also overprotective of you, and he would be more than relieved if he knew that you’re back in Lawrence and only work one job while you remodel your house
Yeah, I know about the house. Sam told me that you’re not going to sell it because you want to be able to come back and fix everything that’s broken, and I obviously know that one day you’ll want to be able to live there with Sam again. I think it’s a great thing to do. Maybe I’ll move back into my parent’s home one day too. I couldn’t sell it either, you know? It has been what? Two years since the accident and I’m still holding on to it, as if my parents would come back. It’s pathetic, isn’t it? I obviously know they won’t come back, I know they’re resting in peace, but somehow, I’m still not over the fact that I won’t get the chance to see them again. Please don’t do that to Sam, okay? You’ve got to come back one day and see him, graduate. He’s doing so well at school and I see a bright future for him. You’d be so proud, even more than you already are!
Okay, what else is there to tell…. Oh! Sam’s dating a hot girl! Her name’s Jess. They got together about two months ago. She’s beautiful and sweet and the way they act is almost sickening. She studies medicine, so don’t worry that nobody is taking care of Sam. Jess is more than capable of taking care of your brother. I like her very much. Maybe because she accepts me for who I am, as Sam’s best friend, she’s not jealous at all, and sometimes, we even have a girl’s night every couple of weeks. God, this sounds so pathetic again. I’m here for over a year and the only friends I have are your brother and his girlfriend.
Enough about us, how are you? Do you take care of yourself? I have the feeling that you don’t - so don’t make me go down there and smack you over the head, Dean Winchester!
Thank you for the dick pic. It’s not the dick I wanted to see. Why so shy, Dean? Are you worried about your manhood?
Tell Cas hi from me. He still owes me ten bucks from the last time I washed his car while I was a desperate high schooler and needed money to go to the movies with friends. He better pay up since now I know where he is and I can bother him all the time.
Okay, I guess this is it. Your brother says that he’ll get here with pizza. It’s almost 11 pm but he’s worried that I didn’t eat, so really, don’t worry about him - or me for that matter - we take care of each other.
Write soon, will you? And please, stay safe5Please respect copyright.PENANAHLWixQbRwm
Y/N
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***
From: You [y/[email protected]]
To: Dean Winchester [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.PENANA7TyRNzhmB0
Subject: Hello?
Dean, why are you not answering? It has been three days since I wrote to you. Is this some kind of punishment? Have I crossed a line in calling you out for your bullshit? Or did I cross the line talking about your flawed manhood?
***
From: You [y/[email protected]]
To: Dean [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.PENANAPEQKhn3sda
Subject: Dean!
Okay, I might have overreacted in my email yesterday because you only wrote that you’re going on a short mission in two days and you didn’t state how long it’ll really be until you’re back. But still, I’m getting antsy here. I hope you’re okay. I take back everything I said about your manhood, yeah? Just write back.
***
From: You [y/[email protected]]
To: Dean Winchester [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.PENANADJYOQa4Iks
Subject: WHAT IS GOING ON?
WHY DON’T YOU ANSWER ANY OF MY EMAILS? HAVE I DONE SOMETHING TO UPSET YOU? DEAN, YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY LIFE AND THEN DISAPPEAR, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU BETTER GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND ANSWER OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN! IT HAS BEEN FIVE DAYS AND YOU’RE ALREADY ON YOUR MISSION FOR SEVEN. IT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A SHORT MISSION TO ME! JESUS, I THINK I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND. I JUST HOPE YOU’RE OKAY!
***
From: You [y/[email protected]]
To: Dean Winchester [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.PENANA7tG1pQtXvt
Subject: Dean, we’re worried
I mean it. We’re really worried right now. It has been seven days. Surely you should have come back. Sam said nothing serious must have happened because they would have contacted him by now. By the way, he said he’s not really happy that he’ll be the one to be contacted if something happens to you, said he probably can’t stomach it should the day come. I had to assure him for hours that nothing will be happening to you, since you’re too stubborn to die anyway. Jesus, don’t die on us, okay? I don’t know if I can stomach it either. And I know it’s morbid to even think about it but the possibility is there. You’re out there, fighting enemies, shooting things up, getting in the way of bullets. And god, I do get why you’re doing it but you should know that it doesn’t make me worry any less.
God, please get in contact. Write me back, or call me. I have listed my number and skype contact below. Sam even agreed that he would be okay to talk once in a while, just give him a month or so to have some time to get used to the idea, yeah? How does that sound? He’s going to come around, I’m positive about that. Don’t worry about him, Dean. We’re going to be okay, I know we will.
Keep yourself alive, okay?5Please respect copyright.PENANA039thentBG
Y/N
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