Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Dean enlisted in the hopes to help secure enough money for Sam to be able to go to college. Of course, he didn’t tell Sam. Why would he? Sam would understand, right? Turns out, Sam didn’t get it, and is giving Dean the silent treatment for over a year. In Dean’s desperation to reconnect with Sam, Dean reaches out to his brother’s best friend. Little does he know that the hurricane named Y/N will turn out to be the reason he wants to stay alive and go back home for.
Chapter Warnings: Maybe a tad of angst to start with…
WC: 30905Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbqnWXLa54
“This must be the most idiotic thing you’ve ever done, and that’s saying something, Dean!” Sam angrily stomps up the stairs of the home they both share. The wood creaks alarmingly under the weight of his younger brother, and Dean sighs, his eyelids tight, hoping somehow that the staircase at least can withhold from collapsing until they’re both out of the house. Maybe one day, he’ll come back, fix the whole place, but not today. He has no patience left to deal with anything else next to an angry Sam. Because that’s his priority. He doubts, though, that Sam will calm down today, or the next week, but Dean hopes that one day he will understand his motives for going behind his back and doing something that’s idiotic in Sam’s eyes.
“I did it for you!” Dean shouts after his younger brother with a voice that’s loud and steady. A voice that leaves no room for arguments. His dad-voice Sam used to say. After some silent seconds, he adds, “So that you have a chance to go to college!” Because Sam needs to know and get it into the intelligent part of his brain. Dean knows his brother’s super intelligent. Just…right now, Sam’s making him really doubt that.
“I applied for scholarships!” Comes his brother’s reply, equally loud. In Sam’s I-told-you-so voice that’s always been so snarky. God, how Dean hates that voice. “No need for you to go away and get yourself killed!” Sam adds louder in a manner that leaves him to assume that it’s purely added on for good measure.
Dean groans dramatically - hoping that Sam can hear the exhaustion in his voice - before letting himself fall into the worn-out couch in their living room, the springs digging sharply into his back. Something else they need but don’t have money for. Sam’s never been a rebellious teen - thank god - and this is the most upset Dean has ever seen him. He wishes sometimes his parents had left him a manual on how to handle Sam before they passed away. How to handle parenting a brother who’s only four years younger while Dean’s trying to grow up himself next to working two jobs to be able to keep the guardianship and both of them afloat. He would have done anything to be able to keep Sammy, who right now is more than a little stubborn but he’s the only constant in Dean’s life. Not to mention the only good thing. They don’t have a lot of those, so sue him for trying to keep it close to him.
After an agonizingly long time period of neither one of them saying a thing, Dean tries his luck again. For the moment, he hasn’t heard his brother closing his door yet, so there’s a shred of hope that Sam’s just waiting to hear him beg for forgiveness, and honestly, Dean’s so close to doing it, his own pride be damned. “You know, if you could come down here and talk to me, we wouldn’t have to shout!”
“What’s there to talk about?” The younger Winchester growls loudly, making Dean think that he’s not going to give in as long as Dean is not ready to apologize. And honestly, that’s not something he’s going to do. He’s not going to apologize for wanting to give Sam a fucking great future. But then Sam’s voice makes him have hope. It’s less loud, a little uncertain, as if it doesn’t really matter to him too, because Sam already knows the answer. “If we talk, will you stay?”
Dean rubs a hand over his face with another loud sigh - the stubbles scratch against his palm, he really needs to shave - while his mind searches for an answer to Sam’s question. It comes up empty. There is no good answer to that. Not when he doesn’t want to lie to him, and Dean never lies to him, because that’s not what they do and he sure as hell isn’t going to start lying now, no matter how much Sam doesn’t want to hear it.
“I figured.” Sam’s answer is resigned after Dean’s rendered speechless and unable to utter a word. “When? Will you even be here when I graduate?” Sam’s voice isn’t as loud and there’s a certain emotion in it. Dean tries to not think about the pout and puppy eyes he’s probably sporting. He knows the emotion in Sam’s voice. Has heard it often throughout their lives. It’s called disappointment.
“Sammy,” Dean starts but doesn’t even know how to continue.
“Don’t Sammy me! I’m packing to go sleep over at Y/N’s. I can’t stand to be around you right now!” And this time, the door to Sam’s bedroom slams close.
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One year and six months later
From: [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBhGzLb3Ph
To: You [y/[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuF2NJhGDVK
Subject: Hey!
Hey Y/N!
You must be wondering why I’m writing to you, right? The short answer is that you’re basically the only source I have back home who doesn’t really hate me (at least I hope you don’t), no offense.
All the other soldiers are getting letters and emails from home, even care packages (not that I expect those) but people have started to ask me why they never see me in the communications tent and why I never skype with the loved ones at home, and honestly, I’m too tired and exhausted to explain that my own brother doesn’t talk to me anymore. I know that he has every right to be upset but come on, it’s been over a year since I left for basic training and now that I’m stuck in the desert trying to give him a better life than I had, he’s still giving me the silent treatment? That’s not really fair (I’m a little bitter as you might have noticed). So yeah, I wanted to give you a short story, yet here we are. Now I’m sitting here and figured that instead of pretending, I could actually write a real email and you are the only person that came to my mind.
Sorry for being melodramatic, I’m trying to be better because I don’t want to scare you away before you even read all of what I’ve got to say, and maybe, I’ve been pining for that answer, who knows? It would at least be a welcoming surprise. Shit, I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve here, I must have gotten too much sun today.
Enough about me, though. How are you? How’s school? Sam told me before you guys sent out your applications that you’re undecided on what you’re going to do and will probably be aiming for two majors, is that still the case? Honestly, Y/N, you’ve always been the smarter one out of the two of you (please don’t tell Sam I said that), and I had no doubt that you’ll get into the college you wanted and excel in your studies.
I can’t even blame you for dragging Sam along to Stanford. I’m so proud that he got a full ride. I still remember, though, that he was so mad at me that I decided to join the army after he’d gotten the acceptance letter. He just didn’t understand that there’s literally nothing else for me to do at home while you guys are off to live the lives you both deserve. I had to do something. Something I feel I could make a difference, you understand, right? God, I hope you do. I know we’re not really friends but we’re not strangers, either. I know that you will take care of Sam as much as he’s going to take care of you and maybe that’s the motivation that drove me to do this in the first place. If I’m of no use at home anymore, I can at least make myself useful here.
The whole purpose of this email is actually to ask how Sam is doing, and I hope you don’t think I’m using you to get to him, because I’m curious about your wellbeing too. I’m just really worried in general as it’s been radio silent for way too long between us. Has he been eating okay? Resting enough? I hope he takes breaks in between studying (and I seriously hope you do, too).
So, Y/N, I really don’t know what to write anymore. My life is probably not as exciting as yours, plus, it’s not like I do this on a regular basis and writing with two fingers is kinda exhausting (you can tell Sam that, I bet he’s going to make fun of me and maybe you’ll get a laugh out of him).
Also, please, if it’s not too much to ask, could you maybe write me back? It doesn’t have to be an essay, you know (I’m sure you’re doing a lot of that already and don’t want to waste your time on me, which is fair)? Just short sentences are enough. Or if you don’t want to even form words, just - I don’t know, send me emojis or shit. Just to let me know that you both are okay, yeah?
Be good,5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJa8mLI51W
Dean
PS. I actually have no idea if I have emailed the right person. I just put two and two together, y’know? Like the stanford.edu email is a given, since I know that Sam has the same and I have sent Sam an email before (he just never answered).
If you’re the Y/N I’m looking for, good.
If you’re another Y/N, since I don’t know the one I’m looking for will have some kind of number attached to her name or whatnot, then hey, how are you? Could you please keep a lookout for the right Y/N and forward this email to her? She’s usually attached to my brother at the hip. Also are you single? I’m Dean and I’m stationed in the desert. If you’re looking for a pen pal in the army, I’m here. I’m 6’1”, handsome (I have attached two pictures of me because obviously, words can not do me justice), and have green eyes. I’m an Aquarius and I like long walks on the beach. If you would like to have a good time, I’m your guy ;)
5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrazIDneu6
Dean smiles satisfactorily after attaching the two images. One’s from the last time he was on furlough back in the States, sitting on the hood of his Baby and smiling brightly with a tan that made his freckles stand out. He made Cas take the picture, the other guy still teasing him about it because Dean used it as a profile pic for his dating app. The other one is recent, when they were having a lazy day in camp, the sun on his back, his arm around his buddy, Benny.
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From: [y/[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzrkrv9r0s
To: Dean Winchester [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiKwCSrrR1
Subject: Re: Hey!
Hey Dean,
I don’t know which Y/N you’re looking for, but I’ll promise to search for her when I have time.
Why don’t you send me a dick pic in the meantime?
Y/N
PS: You’re an asshole, so I attached a picture of my hand for you as it’s flipping you off.
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He would recognize that sass from miles away. It’s Y/N who’s literally trying to scare him off because she felt offended for him trying to score a date with someone else.
Dean snorts out a laugh when he reads her words. The sound rumbles out of him, loud, sharp, and no matter how much he wants to stop it, he’s not able to. He hasn’t laughed like this in a long time. Hell, hasn’t laughed this loud and carefree since forever. The guy sitting at the computer station next to him glares at him with headphones on his head, probably trying to talk with people from home and Dean’s just being really loud. As much as he wants to, he can’t find it in him to care. Instead, he fishes out his phone, looks through some pictures he could send her. It’s refreshing that she’s a good sport, he can’t remember if she’s ever been this funny. Feisty, yes, but funny? Not so much. And again, she’s probably not even funny but this whole thing is funny to him and a good laugh in this godless hell might have just been what he needed.
He decides not to answer right away, but rather in the evening when his mind is clearer from the day’s duty.
At dinner in the mess hall, Cas stares him down.
“What?” Dean cocks an eyebrow as he chews on something that’s advertised as chicken but it tastes like fucking socks. He just hopes he won’t get sick because food poisoning at camp is literal hell.
“Your face.” The dark-haired man answers him, fork drawing circles in the air in front of his own face for emphasis.
“What’s with my face?”
“You have something here,” Cas finger goes to the corner of his own lip and Dean replicates the movement, swiping at his lips with his thumb but it comes back clean - well, at least as clean as one can be in the freaking desert.
“What is it?” He can’t help but ask curiously. Dean must admit that he hasn’t seen his own mirror image since this morning but he’s washed his face after the afternoon drill, so there’s that.
“It’s just a weird smile you’ve been wearing all day, is all.” Cas grins broadly and Benny snorts out loud next to him, spitting out a tiny piece of broccoli.
“Shut up,” Dean grumbles, pulling the corner of his lips down. Because yeah, he might have had that upturn of the lips since he read that email. Cas is not really wrong but also Dean doesn’t really want to admit it.
“Why’s that, Dean, huh?” It’s now Benny who asks and he feels betrayed by both men he called his friends.
“It’s nothing.” He answers and returns to his food, not really ready to talk about the reason for him smiling just yet. If he has his way he’s never going to talk about it but he knows that he has to, eventually. Just not today.
“I mean, it’s a good look on you, man.” Benny pats him on his back but Dean keeps on eating, ignoring the two idiots who are now going on a full rant and listing off the reasons for Dean’s smiling self. He stopped listening when he heard them suggesting that it might be because Joe, their medic - he goes by Dr. Sexy too, according to some guys from the other unit - gave Dean a prostate exam.
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From: Dean Winchester [[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuIA6Vu2O6
To: [y/[email protected]]5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05n7uvhj9V
Subject: Dick pic
That’s cute, Y/N. Haha. Funny.
Oh, come on. I’m sorry, okay? I was just making sure that the email finds its way into the right inbox. Besides, can you really blame me if I want to score a date for when I get out of this hell hole? Who knows, maybe if Sam stops hating me, I might come back home after my second tour but seeing how my coming home upset him the last time, I might refrain from doing so and just go and spend some time in Germany. The beer is good there and the food is decent (the girls aren’t that bad either, I’ve been told, which I’m really looking forward to).
I know that keeping your responses short and not even answering one of my questions is because you’re punishing me too. I should have known that you’re on Sammy’s side. I just wish you could see my side as well. I enlisted before I knew that he was going to get a full ride. I wanted to contribute to his future, and you know that I would do anything for Sam. The day he got the acceptance letter he scowled at me because I insisted on still going. I mean, how can I not? I’m a Winchester, we’re stubborn and never back out. Seriously, if you’re so close to Sam you should know that about us, too.
So, since you’re obviously not even a tiny bit interested in how I am, I’m just gonna lay it out to you anyway, and maybe you can tell Sam that I’m alright, okay? Because I know he worries. It’s Sam. He hates it, but I know him better than he knows himself. I can understand the reason behind him not talking to me, so tell him that too, okay? I’m not mad at him.
Did you know that Cas from our street is here? You probably didn’t because I didn’t know either. I thought he went to study abroad, instead, it turns out he came to serve. So, if it makes the both of you feel better, I’m not really alone. It’s his third tour and I’ve been assigned to his squad. We’ve become friends, sharing a tent with our other buddy, Benny. Life here is okay, I guess, at least as okay as it gets. I’m trying not to get dead (I’ve promised Sammy that I won’t).
Somehow, the second tour is different from my first tour. It’s like I’m more aware of my surroundings. The first tour was a piece of cake, we were too lucky for our own good, but now the political situation has changed and we have to be more alert. There’s a short mission, my squad is assigned to that’s going to happen in two days. We don’t know when we’ll be back so I might not get to answer you right away should you decide to write me back.
So, if… you know, if it’s not too much trouble, please, could you write back? I know you’re probably mad at me along with Sam because you two are best friends (and sometimes joined at the hips) but I need you on my side and help me mend the rift between me and my brother. As you can see, I’m trying my best here. One day, I hope that he will be able to forgive me and it would be better if it happens before the end of this tour in five months, so I can come home and actually be welcomed there.
Be good and stay in school, yeah?5Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjB4QRwnTt
Dean x
PS. I attached a picture of Cas, since you wanted a dick pic and he’s the biggest dick of them all.
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and then Add to home screen.