《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW9ppUbI1m
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84qtTUMBUc
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問我為什麼？335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESWYBnn1MU
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原因很簡單。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF91VXPZMhJ
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因為我是個單身狗。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdibzbI8Ds8
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7oPFDawUB
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk3tfu7xNn
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZ27DVNnFT
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIwIgCEhOY
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「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7dlaXRNv3
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wiMIIgFT7
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSmFVBDxGf
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「你上次也是這麼說。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcSIN2a45l
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Yeb0RQS2x
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Xd8poK0Cu
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fuLlBs7bI
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6qb2LsYT9
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDyaUUZQbZ
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8b9QKPVcz5
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZmIjscVZo
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rPbCZJhae
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6Qe6xiypA
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChZJQjxlNX
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42MCtCu7ZH
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80hle86yeM
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwwESKR3j0
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZJUH1mgiQ
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iJ9kKWgtz
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsYNlyYZcY
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspF1XxbiOw
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賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aYDWunpPM
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjz2z2nokz
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQ8GreJeHp
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcYgaymHjR
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIP4M7TiHI

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jnbeQsrKD
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMGOqezmO7
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3rpBSRz54
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「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7Q111wYps
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNgYHATirz
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7o9w6XEw1m
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqqbwEQbxN
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKbDw3EJSG
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像是現在。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnvUw14MAQ
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ2n5a8ZyX
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxy4vl5veV
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIt0jy4RrA
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「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFHj8dX4hu
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTBequDRw1
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoJRxZu66i
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdl3mLKNsN9
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes3XdXyFaJ

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewVNU4gz9o
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWACBwDF17
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunapNecedO
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomu3Lwga5y
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fjs58Qa4H
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKduvlxBQJc
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAgqAzviFd
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「你本來說歐威爾。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHe056caEVM
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「那、那是一時口誤……」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppbwEL3zxc
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVEKj9Qbge
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlj3BkL6xoi
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiL18z0Dlvp
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyVPQFDMu4
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sCEWtNTjc
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTxFhX6Hit
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSTFf9O5WU
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp8mYCTr2V
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbU74TV5Hq
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QtEFgyxoh
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPS1p9VP5zh
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9i9P9za3J
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwjZxjpMDj
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她根本就沒在聽啊！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6LJ7pogXP
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4TX4L6HfS
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0zX3c6VsZ
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPdjaC46MF
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmBtN2datB
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhrDl92TxM
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ufr1wusE8
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjBMzAqDiS

所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuaPhagonN
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcwro5IAta

「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFmQa6PktC
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykdQuV7bnA

「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKH7hAmuaR
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「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8ge9RqpAa
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvS8coLphC

她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1e9Fr9U5bM
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兩次。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQ7Bdih5DJ
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Alv7BRBhV
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98q5uayV8i

「三岐同學真壞。」

335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDb0UaV3Fj

「好糟糕喔。」

335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm9EVONxjD

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2GcYoFY24
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPKXQMFlxO

說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eJjnEeVlc
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgS0iaWLYt

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1Vshg2Pbl
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKH4Gm7OEdr

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53ZTk7M6zS
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdrNDFUylI

「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFndkJnjov
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngbVyhSJPb

「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AGAdHhKSk
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjS4bUu03x

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡru0k20K0A0
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaTvTRMYIj

「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjW2MVxuoz0
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHFYfBkwQq

「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxGq3Llx1K
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegDGFu6a7B

「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aPiqPmcsc
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJLLx6jbHx

「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE01JpGeWqY
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ6CGsztfI

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7j0KNXt3h
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ji7tdVMVC

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTyJD6l2gY
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GVuE5YDi1

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwJd5JBFcD
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMh74OVZC9

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKsY72uifg
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzDFAbhhqG

「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZqDIZoTay
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHNCPSsh1w

「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCphY58YV9
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzwk0VBEx8

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjanopmAJv
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1dypfUIML
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    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK89m6qOEnr
335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTBIOi8k3p
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  當日結果：335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImriQhFqZr

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNY3naiMDG
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSBkLEd7zQ
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGwHbAkz0p
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。335Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6ZQPf2jLc
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柳困依然單身。

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