《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNa20gy6BdV
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c2C45lbQV
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問我為什麼？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8ORyOeiaf
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原因很簡單。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZ9fO0N2g1
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因為我是個單身狗。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpflWQhwTkY
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JnndqD3MX
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPdLdzIh14
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDH4xk8X6e
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gJl9Mi9Co
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Brxg1DwbC

「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmN9qftH3b
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjd7p4RXuC
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvQVaTBAea
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「你上次也是這麼說。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonzEVY0cRp
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0ZnN1MBfq
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFuF69tN45
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JuRwkvWMv
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8rezHAjAo
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMgyXqDVMS
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73yTklY6Oj
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgWawsByJY
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCAcIFUamh
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OxUO1GAo6
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7Mrl7llaH
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqS8DBrYgK
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSbMOuUT0i
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYqwfha0eC
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCg5ccYZs1
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlSqpLihj4
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnpNkz2s9f
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMpSjQFFPP
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賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUTo23n1hk
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzQuMRkTFF
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWYgp6aHia
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw2LQ8cNh7
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVh9iW4NcS2

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt7XoPKdMk
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvHhsqnC87
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadL73TSvZj
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxqXW16wTK

「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4TWtZKc7c
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZkIgvkIjp
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaESZpBDWH
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdNeUnlCew
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaIHmFb9Lb
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像是現在。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK2PTl4MnF
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvHVAroCXL
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmSz2JfAhK
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBSNiaCv51
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「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRP7x0NLTVp
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kCnXZbbfV
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eGNsmuXFV
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1B1ipuKaP
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKs0KQstVVn

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwbmmHUgpK
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoS1uLQcnF
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ214mrxog9z
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9F4CzQa0bA
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqHTZzWdti
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDc2DZ2ixl7
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko5mp63scz
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「你本來說歐威爾。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPz7KBMBG3
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「那、那是一時口誤……」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaei4s2bBx1
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZFleGz0HV
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1veV4ZheX
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4KQo6Sf0t
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaPYjXb6IA
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NDpwdi3Pg
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiNevkuIgw
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2cFX0z7Lx
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pFCKVtGuj
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWIsNxEfDh
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6SGTzfDTX
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAxXdRcAOe
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PRVtuMuCp
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdadeJlqdJB
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她根本就沒在聽啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1onsaAbEwJ
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACJNlVEmp0
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IZcEI4VfR
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvhUBfvJne
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypxZ22HzWm
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPsqWzNOF8
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7I7cbYcmj
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKadnThood

所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZkhIE1tjD
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE0PqqXj10

「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTMAY2lkRs
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm91d4Bas0

「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjwh4PA4y9
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvA0EE7Pvf

「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr1whKnIBp
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8QU8CO2dt

她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjnd8isMDB
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兩次。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNhy32Jewe
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjW13FoPNOs
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4TpuknbLK

「三岐同學真壞。」

419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YmxdBqwFc

「好糟糕喔。」

419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPi28LxMbF

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkV7j7IMxph
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgrUsjhYhr

說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyIYWTbwuz
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFjaWL3o3f

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4C7YVhwzU
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvGIIzIRSx

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxgCdBpOO6
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzA95TpB5uB

「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLftKFNknl
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6IZzIvHEf

「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFUa0wpi6Y
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SNwL7SnjM

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiZZd9CWEd
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「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Jlc9oedok
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkRiXX7Asr

「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yQetWekiD
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77X9uoDKgq

「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnBkRk5UIh
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouqXOx2TQw

「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXjF4mXHw7
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApeO9QvF4e

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Q6MiFr61S
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbk8wMEWF1E

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjoAfl5fd2
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRMSSQfrdo

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGtYEJQNv3
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyK2ZQl3Gr

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZ36oQE9iU
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjtHS8F8Un

「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaPFRFJ45K
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvnMT7XQmV

「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3o6gJLI7Pc
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqwpoBV4oy

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g1D4Se5TR
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIe8YEML8V

「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez97ZSp0Af
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDdWsLEXD1

    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oQEXGa0cw
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EdpVCDjpa
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjuc6RH81o
  當日結果：419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8E0XZfcTV

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ovGrdHE9h
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqz07JaEFWE
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD5vnqUQwv

三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaD2RsscNBs
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz3VT9Q3Hn

其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgYjAQsc78
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7C5HsCkh7

柳困依然單身。

419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC1IjVLqbo

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