First off, please do not call me emo without me telling you that I am. Don't call me a witch or any of the sort, I don't even believe in that kind of stuff. Don't just judge me because I always wear black, i'm a rainbow of sunshine if you didn't know. And especially do not talk to me or look at me, I hate you giving me those glares like I wasn't supposed to be born. Which I was, I was a mistake. My parents didn't mean to have sex and not have a child. Sorry to tell you mom, you forgot to use something important when doing the goods. My father told me it was just for fun, they didn't want a child, they wanted to wait. But they got me, and kicked me out once I turned 18.
I live with a childhood friend, he's kind of not my type anymore. I don't think he likes me anymore, since my soul is black as my life. He doesn't like that I'm depressed because my parents kicked me out of the house just at the beginning of the school year. Which was about two months ago, senior year is going to be hell.
" Jade... Miss Walter " the teacher spoke
" hmmm, what " I groaned as I lift my head from the desk
" i'm asking you a question " he growled and placed his hands on his hips
I sit up and look around, everyone was on the verge of laughing their socks off. Well I'm sorry I didn't sleep last night because my stupid friend was doing it with his girlfriend. I rolled my eyes and gestured for my teacher to ask the question once more.
" Fine Miss Walter, please figure whats wrong with the problem on the board " he asked and pointed his pen to the problem on the board
" That ones easy " I smirk and walk up grabbing a marker
I look at the problem and evaluate it before working on the board. Even though I sleep in class, like a lot, I understand most of it since my parents did teach me something while I was young. I circle the answer and walk back to my desk, the teacher was speechless.
" Impressive work Jade " he clapped his hands a bit before going back to the class.
I smile as I proceeded to sleep in class, I needed my sleep what was I going to do ask to go to the restroom and sleep in one of the stalls. Yeah no, I'm not that edgy. Once school was over I wait for my so called best friend to bring his car up to the front, with his annoying girlfriend in the passenger seat. I put my ear buds in and started to listen to loud music as I sit down on a bench by the bus stop. An overwhelming sound came from the left of me, I pulled one of my ear buds out of my ear to see a car driving towards me. Its loud music wasn't helping me calm down to my music. It stopped and there he was, my best friend crying like a little baby. I raced to put my ear buds in my pocket and jumped into the passenger seat, I looked at him and gave him a worried look. He shook his head and raced home, why wasn't he talking about it to me, he usually does. I grab my backpack, clenching it in my arms, I was scared he seemed much different then the happy self I knew. I glance over at him to see he was shivering, tears falling from his cheeks to his thighs. This wasn't good, hopefully he doesn't get into another mess like he used to. We got home, he didn't unlock the doors or turn the music off, now this was strange as well. He looked at me like he was going to say something, but then he stopped himself turning the music off as well as the car.
" Alex what happened to you " I asked moving my black hair from my face
" It doesn't matter.. " he muttered and exited the car not saying another word.
Soon after he left I followed him with my backpack still in my arms, this was definitely not him. Back in middle school a girl broke up with him and he started to cut himself, like badly since he loved her. But she did't love him back, and so he wants to hurt himself to forget it. I tried to stop him but he only cried, now that I think about it, it might be the same situation as in middle school. Since this stubborn mess called his girlfriend was the best thing that ever happened to him.
I drop my backpack to the floor as I walk to the kitchen, he was sitting on the counter top asking for food from me. I smirk and get him his usual, a grilled cheese with tomato soup and mac&cheese. I also made some for me as well, it was like the old times. I handed him his food and sat next to him, he didn't look at me. He just ate in silence. Then his phone started to ring, he wasn't running to his backpack like he used to. I jumped off the counter and picked it up.
" hello.. who is this " I asked as I heard a girl crying on the other end
" Is Alex there, I did't mean to hurt his feelings " she continued to cry
" what do you mean " a small growl started up in my throat, ' she hurt his feelings? ' i questioned
" I went to a party and I had sex with a different guy and I wasn't drunk " she admitted
" Why did you even go to that party, don't you love him. You self centered little bitch, never talk to him ever again " I yelled into the phone and hung up sniffling a bit
I look up at him to see him smiling and he mouth thank you at me, I nod my head and go back to eating my food. Once we finished he put the plates in the sink and walked up to his room, still not saying a thing, but he did stop crying. I gave a small smile and collapsed onto the couch, hopefully he does't do anything stupid up there.
" idiot, he's doing something stupid " I spoke to myself and jumped up running to the bathroom.
I pant and open the door, he had a knife in his hands and his cheeks were stained with more tears. I look down at the ground and quickly run taking the knife from him, he made a weird gasp and pouted.
" your not doing this okay, its not good for you " I explain
" but she did that and it hurts " he pressed one of his hands to his chest
" I know it hurts, think of how I feel every single day of my life " I roll my eyes and sit on the other side of the bathroom, facing him
" I can't do this anymore, I know I have to get over her but I can't. I'm just in love with her " he coughed and ruffled his hair a bit
" I'll help you, like old times okay. Have fun with me okay " I smile and his eyes grew wide
" are you sure, since i'm older and stuff " he slightly blushed
" Oh please, I know you won't do anything inappropriate to me. I'll be fine " I smile and stand up holding a hand out to him.
He takes it and walks down stairs with me, I sit down at the island and take my computer out. He sits on the counter top and just looks at me, I could tell he wanted to kiss me, but I wanted him to get over her first before he even touches me. And that probably won't even happen as I'm alive. After I finished my homework I saw Alex sleeping on the couch, I sigh and place a blanket over him. I then walk up to my room and get ready for bed, it was a long day but it was finally going to be Saturday. I was happy, like I can't even describe how happy I am.
The next morning I woke up rubbing my eyes open I jumped out of bed with the biggest headache on the planet. I was going to hang with some friends and Alex was staying home because I think he needs some sleep. Getting dressed I wrote him a note and left him some breakfast in the fridge, then I ran out of the house towards a car parked in the front of the lawn. It was a red Jeep, even though I "don't" have any friends, this one was my only friend. He was a big help during elementary school and middle school, but Alex was there as well for me. Which I liked, I jumped into the car and put my seatbelt on. I felt him peck my lips as a welcoming and then drove off to our destination. he would always do this to me, but I didn't feel anything when he did kiss me. It was like he was my older brother, but I don't think he thought it like that.
" Harry where are we going " I asked glancing over to him
" I thought we could get some breakfast and talk. Is the okay " he asked and smiled at me
" oh yeah, its fine. Thanks " I nod and look out the window watching the scene change every minute.
He parked the car and we got out, there was an old breakfast place in town. Alex and I would come here all the time, I hope he's doing okay. We get out seat and sit down, silence came over us. He sighed and I shifted my feet on the ground. What did he want to talk about, was it that important to take me out for breakfast. I heard him clear his throat as he looked at me, he grabbed both of my hands. What is this?
" um Jade, I know we've been friends more then anything. And I know that you don't want to start a relationship to just lose me afterwards. But I can't stand it anymore, I love you too much " Harry smiled flipping his shaggy black hair
" oh, I don't know what to say. And I know I don't want to lose you as a friend as well " I slightly blush my thoughts weren't even helping at this point. My heart was racing and I wasn't understanding why he was asking me out.
" So do you have a answer or am I going to have to wait for a while " he smiled once again as I nodded my head
He nodded back and ruffled my hair as our food came to our table. I clapped my hands and dug into my food, I was hungry. Finishing our food, he paid and we didn't speak to each other the way home. I didn't feel like talking to him, for I did;t want him to get the wrong idea or anything. So I let him decide what he thought I was thinking, he dropped me off pecking my lips once more. And nothing more then that. I sigh and stretched out my arms and legs as I look up, the bathroom light was on. Somebody moved around in my room, the blinds were going back and forth, then I realized Alex saw Harry kiss me.
I began to cry and run into the house, why did I have to do this to him. I pant and take a breather at the bottom of the stairs before I bolt up them to my room. He was lying on my bed, there were towels around his arms and one on his angle. I collapsed to the ground and began to cry in my hands, I was so stupid to let him stay home alone.
" your such an idiot " he muttered taking a hand out to me
" I know that already " I sniffle and walk towards my bed, I take his hand and cuddle into it
" I saw Harry kiss you, is it true you guys are going out know " he started to growl he hated me with other men
" no, well I mean he did ask me out when we went to have breakfast. But I turned him down, its nothing Alex " I cry and look up at him
" fine, i saw you leave and so I thought you didn't want me anymore so I cut myself out of depression and hate for myself " he began to cry again, the blood on his shirt and legs weren't helping me not cry.
" oh shut up, why do you hate yourself " I ask tilting may head a bit
" because I've been neglecting you so much lately, I didn't realize you had feelings for me. And I thought about it, I do too " he admitted with a silly smile on his lips
I didn't speak for a while, it just shocked me, did he figure me out already. I felt as his hand moved up to my head ruffling my hair, I smile and wipe my eyes. It cut because of me, because he wasn't with me. I thought it was because his girlfriend broke up with him, but I guess that assumption was wrong. And even though this situation was the biggest thing for him, since he never cut more then his arm.
" your dead when you get better " I mutter and giggle at him as I see him smile at my joke
That smile was what I was waiting for, it was something I missed out of him.
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