《認真我間學校幾適合做鬼屋》 - 同類

我有時會趁MK粉屋企人唔係度走去佢屋企打機，所以我知佢樓下嘅密碼。

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啱啱入到𨋢，隻鬼突然「啊」咗一聲。

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嗯？我用眼神表達我嘅疑惑。

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「呢度，有隻鬼啊。」佢指住空氣話。

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我面無表情咁撳咗30樓，實際上嚇到個心都離一離。「⋯⋯唔想知。」

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「我講真㗎！你睇下，佢——呀，佢走咗。」

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「⋯⋯」

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「你做咩唔理人！」佢嬲嬲哋，用手指督我膊頭，塊面鼓到漲卜卜咁。

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我不禁開始FF：如果我有女朋友，會唔會成日都會有啲咁嘅情況出現？

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依家都係應下佢先啦。我是但搵啲嘢嚟講：「喂係喎⋯⋯點解你對耳仔咁紅嘅？」

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原先我以為佢係怕醜，但係紅到呢個時候就真係有啲奇怪。不過都唔排除係因為鬼嘅體質比較特殊，或者係我太靚仔⋯⋯

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「哦⋯⋯因為我用緊你啲血啊呢個係類似感應裝置咁嘅嘢如果有人掂到我耳仔就會自動變紅。」佢突然超高速咁爆咗堆嘢出嚟，好似專登唔想俾我聽清楚咁。

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跟住佢先用正常語速話：「睇落好似怕醜咁，係咪幾得意呢～」

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「咪扮嘢！未經我同意就吸我血，你係咪應該同我解釋下呢？嗯？？」

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佢用無辜嘅眼神望住我：「如、如果唔係我就會被陰間嘅力吸返去，你就見唔到我㗎啦！掂住你都係呢個原因，所以、其實，你都算係應承過⋯⋯Sorry啦～」

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「⋯⋯算，我大發慈悲放過你。」

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「嘻嘻，你好好人！雖然有少少惡。」

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怪唔之得我淨係揹多幾本書，行幾級樓梯都覺得攰⋯⋯仲以為係近排少咗運動或者腎虧，原來係隻鬼分咗啲血嚟用！

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又陰間又路西法，依家仲加埋吸血功能，今時今日啲鬼真係東西合璧。

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「喂！到咗啦。」佢提我，我先發覺𨋢門已經開咗。我哋終於到咗目的地。

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我撳咗門鐘。見冇人嚟，我又敲埋門，做埋自我介紹：「唔該？我係莫俊軒嘅同學！有事要搵佢！」

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「噗。」我好清楚聽到門後面有人笑嘅聲。一聽就知係MK粉。

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條友淨係着件背心就走嚟開門，笑笑口咁講：「你懶係乖咁講嘢，一時之間認唔出⋯⋯有何貴幹啊？山長水遠走嚟打機？」

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我壓低把聲：「你屋企人係唔係度？」

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「佢哋？啱啱落咗樓，話要去排隊買口罩。」

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「咁得啦。」我一拳懟落佢個肚度，笑我？「你同我着返件衫呀！有女仔在場啊！」

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佢黑人問號。「你講乜啊？我就話啱啱訓醒⋯⋯」

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為咗慳時間，都係叫隻鬼出嚟解釋快啲。「上啦比卡超！現身！」

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隻鬼乖乖地主動去掂咗MK粉。條友嘅表情一瞬間變哂，睇嚟佢已經見得到隻鬼啦。

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「你⋯⋯你⋯⋯」睇嚟佢嚇到講唔到嘢。係囉，呢個係任何一個人撞鬼時應有嘅反應，我之前都唔係特別樣衰啫。

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我拍下佢膊頭：「你放心，你呢個柒樣我係絕對唔會唱通街嘅。」

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佢冷靜落嚟，托一托眼鏡。「OK我get了。我終於成為咗替身使者。」

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「⋯⋯醒下啦，普通嘅撞鬼嚟咋。」

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「咁耐無見，你對『普通』嘅定義好似有啲扭曲？」佢一邊講，一邊讓開俾我哋入屋。

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「唉，唔同你傾閒計啦，我嚟係為咗做正經嘢。」

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佢指住隻鬼。「帶個女仔上嚟，跟住同我講『做正經嘢』？」

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「更正，係女鬼。真係正經嘢嚟，所以唔該你着返件衫⋯⋯同埋扯返高條褲。」

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隻鬼話晒都係女仔，多多少少有啲怕醜。「我、我迴避一下！！」

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「咪傻啦，你要掂住我，走得去邊啫？」我扯返住佢，同MK粉講：「喂，識做掛？」

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「啊sor，等我一陣⋯⋯你哋坐喺沙發先。」MK摸下鼻，走咗入自己間房。

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