A solid force hit the back of my neck.
“Hey, watch it!” I spun around quickly to see where the balled up piece of paper had landed on the carpet. I glanced up to see who had blindsided me.
”It was a dare, I promise. I’m sorry.”
His blue eyes were tinged with remorse as he stared into mine. We sat in silence for a few seconds too long, without even noticing.
”Come on man, I’ll just give you the money. I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”
He snapped out of his confusion and put on a wide grin. He held out his hand behind him and snatched the crisp five dollar bill from his buddies sitting in the desks behind him.
The transition bell rang, signaling the start of the thirty minute lunch period. I packed up my binders and pencils and stuffed them in my bag, annoyed. I could still hear the boys giggling about their prank as I walked out of the classroom.
I hated being embarrassed.
With my supplies clutched against my chest, I stomped down the hallway. My stomach rumbled as I thought about what I was going to be forced to eat today. Maybe the lunch ladies made those delicious chocolate chip cookies again. A tap on the shoulder pulled me out of my own head.
”Eli? I’m...really sorry for what happened earlier.”
I stopped my pace and turned around to face him. He spoke softly and sincerely. The way he hung his head down regretfully but tried to remain eye contact was adorable. His curly black hair was swept to the side.
I chuckled. “It’s really no big deal Parker. I still can’t believe you and your friends still do pranks like that. I mean we’re sophomores, not fifth graders.”
Parker crinkled the five dollar bill in his fist, trying to prevent Eli from seeing it. He lifted his head up higher.
”I know, it wasn’t very smart. But I wanted to come up and apologize.”
”I appreciate that.” I paused. The silence grew between us once more. Normally, one of my biggest fears would be social awkwardness, but I had felt comfortable in Parker’s presence. My heart fluttered when I looked at his face. So, I tried to avoid that. “Why don’t why talk more, Parker? I mean, I go to your lacrosse games all the time and I see you in the crowd at my volleyball games. We should try and get to know each other a little better.”
He playfully nodded, breaking out of his apologetic posture and into his more extroverted self. “Sure! Why don’t we exchange socials?”
We mutually agreed and swapped phones to add each other on Snapchat. I graced his hand with my finger. Parker’s skin was warm and soft, begging for someone to touch. It was too perfect not to. He didn’t seem to notice that I was casually rubbing his finger. He regained eye contact when he was done putting in the information and gave me the same dorky smile he always had. It had always made me smile too.
Focus. Focus. I thought to myself.
I yanked my phone out of Parker’s hand faster than I wanted to and gave his back as well. We waved and diverted our separate ways to eat lunch.
I walked, staring down at my phone, looking at his contact information. I kept recalling images of his beautiful smile. I became conscious of my heartbeat.
Stop. Stop it.
I regained my composure. I didn’t have time for playing games with love. High school relationships were meaningless and I was trying to get into a top university.
I ate lunch, trying to dissolve the image of his face from my brain.
SNAPCHAT:
Parker Jameson
The notification appeared on my phone after I got off the bus.
“Are you coming to my game tonight?” It read.
My body shook with excitement when I received the notification. I didn’t resist anymore. There was something about him that was different.
I went to his game. I sat in the freezing rain and cheered him on. I didn’t cheer too loudly in order not to seem out of place. We didn’t see each other afterwards, he was too busy with the other six girls he was surrounded with. My heart sunk, but I wasn’t surprised.
My mother picked me up and drove me back home as I lay against the window half-asleep. The reflection in the window lit up.
SNAPCHAT:
Parker Jameson
”Glad you could come tonight!”
TWO YEARS LATER
Senior year. The glory year as they say. I had won a volleyball championship and been accepted to my dream university. I needed nothing else. But I had always felt like a piece of me was missing. That piece had always felt like someone I could talk to. We bonded over our fears in life, our anxieties, our dreams. We talked every day. That piece picked me up if I had fallen into a ditch of despair. I always said:
”He’s really special. I hope we can come to realize our connection someday.”
I had said that for two years. It was the first time I had fallen in love. I always thought love was pointless, stupid even. Men always went for the idiotic trophy wives. But Parker and I connected, like a metaphorical string running between our two bodies. We grew apart often, but always found our way back to each other whether by chance or fate.
I was never sure if he felt the same.
He came to me first, but I never sought him out in return.
We leave for college in a month. Keep in touch, will you? I’ll miss you, I don’t know if you’ll miss me.
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