《赤足的庭院》（2）110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiZEOyQeQ0
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  我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0uRxnv6eE
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  因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRNXhvEbX9
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  我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIVv34WQxX
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  我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnelYuVDRY
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  但那不是指現在。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Pb8aytUcR
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  就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0GEIoYddB
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  「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTTShfkZLG
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFVz5bVwqv
  我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvL6l3AvqST
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8yngDecsH
  看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflfjunTbsC
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  昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWCdTivQic
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  多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIx2hVZ29U
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3FgMk77sA
  但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWSEkxA2UN
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  「李靜。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvA2MRGz9d
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvlQdhk552
  「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssSSpEC0ue
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  「⋯⋯」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83KTVfwGON
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  「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASru4RxJEd
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ224CsOg9J7
  「哈⋯⋯」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvKXlc2GYv
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  當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FtAq5zGch
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  只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupT6hEMMeb
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5zr3IjvzR
  「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfLqKuzHo1
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcn8B1T1Pmi
  寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicWIpoQxaZ
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGs3w3G7yx0
  「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpppNTNW4r9
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  我搖搖頭。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiiDxNNYlA
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  「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7TO2OXg5s
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gHKqt8GYQ
  面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwC3AWhwnXG
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSOoXqHZdC
  「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2roJM0fvn
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡock8bRnFm8
  「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg78zzYtRn7
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  「是的，所以⋯⋯」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JoeZO0ohN
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  「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRig2ZrW5xW
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  「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kyT77og0R
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  「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR6tGS9maL
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  「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqOIMxNn1r
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  「怎麼可能。」她說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9xaLd2ZRE
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  然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGLPA9kkm0
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJARUex5tUx
  好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtMVMdUsZN
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  這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6j3G4Cf8FY
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  直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk4qQZrIGT
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  長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTx21QlF0s
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  但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHzqF6YRZ7
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  「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6jvq4FB1f
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  沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHdATZwfV6
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  因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wGgwINF2Z
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004110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2RlToBE8I
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  「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhUODWqJuw
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  「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqWAswpkxc
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  「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyjEQNAga2
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  「嗯，非常美味。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUlTwF8WfN
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  「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLigWjLh1E
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCtv2Z6RWx
  滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXa3jy2qGN
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  不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dxf7BndoB
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qbCZGJN5N
  然後她讓我看了台灣附近。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIiLs43GeI
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x6Qh2lrk9
  「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaPGzxyapq
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  「嗯⋯⋯。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrEG33cAmx
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  「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtlBXIWsPE
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  「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cgVm8vDAZ
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  肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8QlzcI66G
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  我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwqxcn6Hai
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  離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUizS6Uzrz
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZT26Ga9dr3
  「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTAlFZPF6I
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  「什麼？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AyJzfRbGk
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  她又問了一次。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Sgh0q0nPo
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  「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BO7B6KQd6
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  「什麼意思？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBtuvt9OM0
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  「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fXze71xes
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  「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPygaW6Nd1t
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCMItvKpq2
  「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1botj4trha
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  「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5O7nEVgw4
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  「是嗎？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYB9g28nIk
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  「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaUvWxIoDr
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  她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnejqjNuG9t
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  110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Bd92bPtVo
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  果然很像。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV860ttJGuw
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  午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrBGTcbTe3
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  那是我第四次的離家出走。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LkQdoqs64
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  準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CTR2LvXgo
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  我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1K5alWqRi
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIM19v8r0e
  「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHM8PP4AdJ
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  我喜歡文學。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXu2Lw6ZYx
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  那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTGkyxjnyu
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi4LhnrTTi
  因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXUHl1aqtF
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「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDyeCRVZfQ
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  我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBps19ldN5G
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYv1XiLfqBh
  於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMNdEtlOR0
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVLHC3a3MJ
  「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3Gf9BPt2p
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoJ4YTeQv1
  我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkC8aCfBJF
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIcU1VLOj8
  「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHKsMwPapj
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ylu8sMVSw
  那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnJ361MobM
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNLa33Lwxl
  也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Et80LDphk
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUwzOLhenF
  但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqEKUFCwmB
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkOhcFoMJZ
  「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA01Uodwop
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjOm0YExLV
  「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fxtxXXt2a
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD1B9OGJrb
  「嗯，你也是。」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy9VdzZl0x
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLGSFafhaI
  我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjc9jCGqXs
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oFAP87oKj
  雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWqMbZUUuo
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwgk93nENu
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlwVhrOy7w
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPi5SRk96qa
  「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFKUSLeWcH
110Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFainbS6tsY
  「嗯？我看看噢。」8964 copyright protection106ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmE0jvbA0a 維尼

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