《窮撚被女飛之鳩闖魔法世界》 - 第一章 - 窮撚總要重複的被飛

「Come on, James，可唔可以成熟啲呀? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcqrmTyCPg
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZecARwAmUq
嘩屌！Come on James? 雖然我係叫占屎，但Evelyn你唔係要將陶公子嘅潮文同我講一次呀?2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRpVIoPnKi
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsyru6DOxV
我放下手上的星冰樂，有點傻眼的看著眼前的女朋友，Evelyn，她剛從澳洲Working Holiday回來一個月。我倆剛討論我們的未來，我只是有點敷衍的回答了一下，就得到了這句「Come on, James」。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHNAfl66g9
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOCvIAIpKq
「你有無發覺，自從我喺Australia返嚟之後，我哋好似有啲唔夾? 」在Starfuck內，她一面調拌著眼前的Chamomile Tea，一面宣讀她的判詞，完全無視這杯Chamomile Tea其實係唔需要攪勻的。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEbWrqPKY4
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3UPiNCK84
「I mean，其實喺畢業之後，我哋嘅世界好似越嚟越遠，我諗，大家都到咗呢個年紀，係咪應該冷靜咁find out，點樣去解決呢場crisis呢? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1PAKN6BBk
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rr8aPFNxO
我頂你個肺！你唔駛真係將篇潮文嘅對白背哂出嚟呀? 而家真係去過一年Working Holiday就大撚哂? 每講一句都要夾硬插啲英文單字入去?2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuOZcLcuKY
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJSJoeohP8
雖然我不是潮文中滿臉暗瘡，架著銅絲眼鏡的毒撚，但這些對白一樣觸動了我的自尊神經。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJGTlKxXB5
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrsSXc6lqI
我嘗試作出最後掙扎﹕「我知，你即係嫌棄我啫。你返到嚟就即刻入咗魔根屎單尼，你叻你好嘢。我只係做緊個文員仔，要返5日半仲要成日OT，我配你唔起，但我會努力賺錢，我哋公一份，婆一份，一樣可以買樓結婚㗎。」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpG5nnMvK61
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ043SHEIMrz
Evelyn輕輕搖頭，狀甚遺憾﹕「係Morgan Stanley。」她頓了頓，又道﹕「喺你眼中，我就係一個咁現實嘅女仔? 其實我哋嘅differences，喺畢業嗰陣已經出現，我有叫你同我一齊去Australia，但你點答我? 你話已經搵到工，話去一年嘥時間，我喺嗰刻就一直諗，我哋係咪屬於兩個唔同level嘅人。」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ADIfOpqz0
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVCri4gkSj
哪有錢！你老母！2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRrzVKulLN
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUleznXNHdd
你明知道我一畢業就已經負資產，而且還要儲錢跟你結婚，那還可以浪費一年時間跟你浪跡天涯！2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5DrFopQdF
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4Vg16or1I
我意識到我們已經到了無可挽回的地步，但還是不甘心地上訴﹕「你知道我要還關窿㗎，我都應承咗你等我升職加人工會同你去一次日本。唔通無錢都係一種罪過? 如果係，點解你唔老實講? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbm9l31JRVA
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuDQZBCuqw
「I'm not talking about money, you know that.」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbGzQYa0G1
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撈? 我撈你老味！2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFIeXFspDQ
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkWoVnxe7A
我忽然冷靜下來，沒有像潮文中的毒撚發脾四就咁走咗去。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLmyX0z7Kt
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsJxXodjA9
或許，變了心的女人，就像借出去的錢一樣，找收數佬也收不回來。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabbjB8uMcZ
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qiaXkC7lk
「咁，分手啦。」我揮一揮衣袖，不帶走一片雲彩。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQljE33FMF
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo2xX7uxxp
Evelyn的嘴角若有若無的向上彎了一下，然後微微點點頭﹕「James, we are still friend.」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhP2R5rAgSr
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwULVopaVO
她輕輕呷了一口微涼的Chamomile Tea，然後站起來，離開。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKesEyZQrxP
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSebLmbK4TA
我惆悵的看著眼前只剩半杯的Chamomile Tea，憶起跟Evelyn剛相識時她的一臉羞澀，那個怯怯的濕吻，那夜在宿舍輕輕脫下的胸圍，那對溫軟動人的33C，肉體與肉體碰撞時的啪啪聲，還有那令人念念不忘的口技......2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wP7nvwK2i
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFR0o9S78m
你老母！2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ291oKak0Cj
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoqbGvj3mg
我一拍桌面，發出的呯然巨響嚇得周圍只買一杯咖啡卻坐一整天的偽文青目定口呆，然後霸氣地離開這個傷心地......2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVALDtM02o
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正當我昂首闊步走到街上，打算用霸氣遮掩被飛的事實時，一輛R8在我身側駛過。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHSlJO6bqg
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7Mt209jyL
我瞄了車廂一眼，坐在副駕的，正是剛飛走我的Evelyn，她正巧笑倩兮的跟司機聊天。我再看真一點，那個司機，身無四両肉，梳著一個比比鳥頭，身穿窄身slim cut粉藍色西裝，是一個比MK更MK的MK仔。而這個MK仔，赫然就是那天跟Evelyn一起從澳洲回來，Evelyn說是在飛機上認識的ABC。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprBjj63Ycg
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2N4ut50Zc4
我隱約感到，我在香港Holiday Working的時候，她已經在Working Holiday途中送給我一頂綠油油的綠帽。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3YKFNHrZJ
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatqb7sG2Vh
屌那星！的士！2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TYFbJSHR7
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfAXtS579D
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCM8xEPzY0G
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怒從心中起，惡向膽邊生！我毅然伸手截的，並跟司機說跟著前方的R8。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYQVaNpeYs
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcryryAqmj
司機從倒後鏡中瞄了我一眼，我吼道﹕「唔駛望啦，係拍緊戲呀！快啲追上去啦！後面成隊crew跟緊呀！」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1AHbAWHOR
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjAXlLHNhw
的士司機立刻像吃了春藥一樣，發動引擎馬上就追了上去。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oYVHqLF0Z
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBfMPYOfer
司機的聲音很興奮﹕「拍緊咩戲呀? 我有無對白㗎? 邊個做男主角呀? 係咪發哥呀? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA6JwClCfm
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXn45gYgCI
其實我唔多想理佢，但係為咗令佢發揮佢嘅小宇宙，我唯有指住我粒衫鈕話﹕「呢道裝咗個微型鏡頭，你嘅角色係一個過氣嘅一級方程式賽車手，性格沉默寡言，為咗屋企人放棄自己嘅賽車夢轉而揸的士。今日我咁啱上咗你部車去追揸R8嘅歹徒，你要發揮你所有潛能追上去，有無問題? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9IrJ9HUCy
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「無問題！交比我！」的士佬興奮的大聲回答。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPP7d0yMxVd
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwg61C8UK7G
「好！頭先嗰段我會叫導演cut咗佢，一陣我嗌action你就即刻入戲！」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM4XuArCgw
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0s4JKR8uk
的士司機馬上撥一撥稀疏的髮絲，然後給了我一個堅定的眼神。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsGRkm30Pi
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「Action！」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc61b6yCF2r
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYawBZaOgz0
一聲令下，引擎咆哮一聲，的士呼嘯而去，在高速公路上逢車過車。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNZCfni8mX
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ivIr6TBCI
眼看就要跟R8並排而行，比比鳥像發現被人跟蹤，R8越駛越快，漸漸拋離我們。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uLIkpiHNo
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZFmv4SmHt
老實說的士司機的技術認真不賴，只是顯然比比鳥也不是吃素的，而且車款性能明顯不止輸一個檔次。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsjkHpdcva
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDoKDxhkrb
眼見遠方的R8駛離了高速公路，到我們跟上去的時候，他們已經消失無蹤，而且我們也被逼停在交通燈前。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6rKTkjuGj
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHJ0yp5vUn
我一拍椅背，深深不忿﹕「仆你個街！咁都追唔到！」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxoW4LhI3y
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1rJb8YbJ6
的士司機很稱職的演繹沉默寡言的性格，他只是利用倒後鏡用眼神問我﹕「咁而家點? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHwzqJuJjV
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwzEE3Hqts
雖然我也不知道截住他們有甚麼用，但我有點死心不息﹕「喺附近兜幾個圈，睇吓撞唔撞到。」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdirppfc9P
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAjgmy1I1i
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxae7rVzIpG
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAYdiNI17n
的士司機按我的指示在附近兜截，但明顯地R8已經逃離現場，我一無所穫。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci1vicwMyE
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjpSh3PG9a
我垂頭喪氣伏在前方倚背，腦袋放空，完全不知道該怎樣做。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡib8vyMHpdw
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIPTY9wL1c
的士司機輕聲問我﹕「咁我哋下一場戲係點呀? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AcOyK0sAP
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGCDvlHM4C
我從銀包中拿出一張五百元遞給他，有氣無力道﹕「車我去一個無人嘅地方，我要冷靜吓。」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1226lYSMaI
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerIoPp0cT1
他接過鈔票後，一聲不響的開車，過了不知多久，我感到引擎關掉了。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaF8JqKBGn
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwnPLoIziC
我抬頭一看，車外有點灰濛濛一片，有草有樹，四野無人，是一條窄窄的山路，這裏是甚麼地方?2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr39qHMqJ0
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「好cut！Good take！」是時候令他回歸現實。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshS0HKZwzq
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4R5VuNg3y
的士佬馬上一輪嘴問我﹕「點呀點呀? 我演成點呀? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctIoTNGI3l
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAyFz5ibBb9
我戴上藍芽，裝作正跟導演溝通﹕「呀......好好！導演話你演得入型入格，做得非常好！」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb3MIalzj0
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4ycRr0AAd
「係? 咁我會唔會仲有戲份? 其實我覺得自己好戲過林雪，而且又靚仔過佢！」他又撥一撥稀疏的頭髮。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWgm3mKNL3
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlF8Bm6p7S2
我打開車門，下車之前跟他說﹕「導演喺我頭先上車嗰度拍緊另一組戲，你去搵佢，睇吓佢會唔會安排一下啦，我會同你講幾句好說話。」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ86OGFwhB
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7u2E5LiJB
的士司機千恩萬謝﹕「唔該哂你呀哥仔，我攞金像獎嗰陣一定會多謝你㗎！係呢，點稱呼呀? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8HMq4wN0E
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEX8vqhPmAa
「叫我Come on James啦......話時話，呢度邊度呀? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWmQDDZYth
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxo5MXDZ3sH
「大帽山呀，你話要無人嘛，駛唔駛我車返你去搵導演? 」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMtbJntM0n
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMmZ2f0fEj
我揮揮手﹕「唔駛啦，我仲要演一幕獨腳戲，一陣會有人接我啦，你走先啦。」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJ7Ju7MCCj
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvapKBpHJHf
的士司機露出羡慕的表情，然後依依不捨的離開。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvbQisszTs
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2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxOBblIB5q
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我看著漸漸遠去的的士，又轉頭望向另一方向，看來這條路可以一直上山頂，就上去看看吧。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF6XAEZUeR
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuA5tOgJqD
走著走著，我到了一個可遠眺城市的地方，看著一棵棵如火柴般的樓宇，心裏不禁在想，我到底是為了甚麼而努力? 辛苦讀書工作，OT受氣，換來的，就是一頂綠帽?2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcAFXyvnvY
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我忍不住撿起一塊石頭，使勁丟到遠方，然後向天大嗌﹕「死仆街港女！」2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5kfAbRKVo
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轟隆！2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKqMRJz8EM
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回應我的，卻是一聲雷響。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CQr0BzVRQ
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我嚇了一跳，然後瞄一瞄天空，灰灰暗暗的正被密雲籠罩，似是快要下雨。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIObS2jD9ah
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屌！連個天都唔鍾意我? 你等我落咗山先好落雨喎！2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY55y1gpbJx
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtmxxWqREw
才走了幾步，正想打電話call的士之際，突然感到尿急。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMnPxhDG8C
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6HrqkCIfk
我左望望右望望，視線範圍之內，不要說廁所，連坑渠都沒有一條。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzj3EaypK2j
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算了，反正無人，求其快手屙咗篤尿就走。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeNZW5F0QY
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaTtFKI8dH
我走到路邊的一棵樹下，對著樹幹拉下褲鍊就開始小解。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5y4JoMtuK8
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正當我才開始解放，卻已經下起大雨。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9d0UpvEWNj
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSW5BZAGdb
我頂你！你落雨都比我屙埋先啦！駛唔駛咁趕呀?2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGrAdcRIVg
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JaCFCKH55
我馬上氣運丹田，使勁將所有尿液盡快逼出體外，樹幹已經被我濺得濕漉漉一片。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyMoEqMLLt
2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y2fFz38MD
卻說這個時候，突然眼前白光一閃，耳際一聲雷響，我感到身體如遭電亟，鼻端傳來一陣燒焦味，然後我就失去了知覺。2231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBgmy1hteI