《窮撚被女飛之鳩闖魔法世界》 - 第一章 - 窮撚總要重複的被飛

「Come on, James，可唔可以成熟啲呀? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9j6xgkDWGd
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE14Dggpv1
嘩屌！Come on James? 雖然我係叫占屎，但Evelyn你唔係要將陶公子嘅潮文同我講一次呀?2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7jBkz1flD
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOh3VDscyA
我放下手上的星冰樂，有點傻眼的看著眼前的女朋友，Evelyn，她剛從澳洲Working Holiday回來一個月。我倆剛討論我們的未來，我只是有點敷衍的回答了一下，就得到了這句「Come on, James」。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWOiPwh01t
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVVnEdCBlu
「你有無發覺，自從我喺Australia返嚟之後，我哋好似有啲唔夾? 」在Starfuck內，她一面調拌著眼前的Chamomile Tea，一面宣讀她的判詞，完全無視這杯Chamomile Tea其實係唔需要攪勻的。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBgCwO9DCB
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRk1lNoD5S
「I mean，其實喺畢業之後，我哋嘅世界好似越嚟越遠，我諗，大家都到咗呢個年紀，係咪應該冷靜咁find out，點樣去解決呢場crisis呢? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMAXb4tyea
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhe9ZvCjV1R
我頂你個肺！你唔駛真係將篇潮文嘅對白背哂出嚟呀? 而家真係去過一年Working Holiday就大撚哂? 每講一句都要夾硬插啲英文單字入去?2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZs7JgGzIG
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMeaIOmeGS
雖然我不是潮文中滿臉暗瘡，架著銅絲眼鏡的毒撚，但這些對白一樣觸動了我的自尊神經。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ296vAU1snK
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbBHIFDtdA
我嘗試作出最後掙扎﹕「我知，你即係嫌棄我啫。你返到嚟就即刻入咗魔根屎單尼，你叻你好嘢。我只係做緊個文員仔，要返5日半仲要成日OT，我配你唔起，但我會努力賺錢，我哋公一份，婆一份，一樣可以買樓結婚㗎。」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xX3wd1emi
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0tjzIFe1w
Evelyn輕輕搖頭，狀甚遺憾﹕「係Morgan Stanley。」她頓了頓，又道﹕「喺你眼中，我就係一個咁現實嘅女仔? 其實我哋嘅differences，喺畢業嗰陣已經出現，我有叫你同我一齊去Australia，但你點答我? 你話已經搵到工，話去一年嘥時間，我喺嗰刻就一直諗，我哋係咪屬於兩個唔同level嘅人。」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGoemHjmKZ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEfJ2Fu36o
哪有錢！你老母！2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6bCXDSXUP
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7zy91Elrl
你明知道我一畢業就已經負資產，而且還要儲錢跟你結婚，那還可以浪費一年時間跟你浪跡天涯！2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJiM2sUY18
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdEjL2kqi6
我意識到我們已經到了無可挽回的地步，但還是不甘心地上訴﹕「你知道我要還關窿㗎，我都應承咗你等我升職加人工會同你去一次日本。唔通無錢都係一種罪過? 如果係，點解你唔老實講? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPoPlCJG4W
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ymukY1KdV
「I'm not talking about money, you know that.」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsTmt6vnVc
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapJqStWruq
撈? 我撈你老味！2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUZnxzBsn5
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU9VoBYoDE
我忽然冷靜下來，沒有像潮文中的毒撚發脾四就咁走咗去。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQjCPEYQbu
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzizpd4w75c
或許，變了心的女人，就像借出去的錢一樣，找收數佬也收不回來。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wLjVhJjRJ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuh9wBpxs1D
「咁，分手啦。」我揮一揮衣袖，不帶走一片雲彩。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBzUYTRHjS
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCFloM4XTs
Evelyn的嘴角若有若無的向上彎了一下，然後微微點點頭﹕「James, we are still friend.」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLNyQ4LAgr
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYJ3meGSsx
她輕輕呷了一口微涼的Chamomile Tea，然後站起來，離開。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0Bra9geKO
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBaNKTA6Wi
我惆悵的看著眼前只剩半杯的Chamomile Tea，憶起跟Evelyn剛相識時她的一臉羞澀，那個怯怯的濕吻，那夜在宿舍輕輕脫下的胸圍，那對溫軟動人的33C，肉體與肉體碰撞時的啪啪聲，還有那令人念念不忘的口技......2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1odPaztNi
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmYUZVJ6q2
你老母！2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1othSuGTs
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf00mvgF1mr
我一拍桌面，發出的呯然巨響嚇得周圍只買一杯咖啡卻坐一整天的偽文青目定口呆，然後霸氣地離開這個傷心地......2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAHrSgHsk1
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6FUJQbLay
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3KYTgqeTU
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAKHJdTAtg
正當我昂首闊步走到街上，打算用霸氣遮掩被飛的事實時，一輛R8在我身側駛過。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP0Bc7yf6f
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbztCqbfsxg
我瞄了車廂一眼，坐在副駕的，正是剛飛走我的Evelyn，她正巧笑倩兮的跟司機聊天。我再看真一點，那個司機，身無四両肉，梳著一個比比鳥頭，身穿窄身slim cut粉藍色西裝，是一個比MK更MK的MK仔。而這個MK仔，赫然就是那天跟Evelyn一起從澳洲回來，Evelyn說是在飛機上認識的ABC。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrB212gNo4B
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fxEpLHKa4
我隱約感到，我在香港Holiday Working的時候，她已經在Working Holiday途中送給我一頂綠油油的綠帽。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U7KE5KudL
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAXq3oC0Py
屌那星！的士！2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE2OVdqkeJ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDZFu6y8TQ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMocdTay2M
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13hYfD8qtb
怒從心中起，惡向膽邊生！我毅然伸手截的，並跟司機說跟著前方的R8。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1j1aiSeTa
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAwT1W5LOi
司機從倒後鏡中瞄了我一眼，我吼道﹕「唔駛望啦，係拍緊戲呀！快啲追上去啦！後面成隊crew跟緊呀！」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVioVDdvfW
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKh1gvloLA2
的士司機立刻像吃了春藥一樣，發動引擎馬上就追了上去。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomuxF5SJre
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxz8115H56z
司機的聲音很興奮﹕「拍緊咩戲呀? 我有無對白㗎? 邊個做男主角呀? 係咪發哥呀? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMgV0rMooQ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApbx5jFwbx
其實我唔多想理佢，但係為咗令佢發揮佢嘅小宇宙，我唯有指住我粒衫鈕話﹕「呢道裝咗個微型鏡頭，你嘅角色係一個過氣嘅一級方程式賽車手，性格沉默寡言，為咗屋企人放棄自己嘅賽車夢轉而揸的士。今日我咁啱上咗你部車去追揸R8嘅歹徒，你要發揮你所有潛能追上去，有無問題? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoy17YfeIj
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiyKxMWfnj
「無問題！交比我！」的士佬興奮的大聲回答。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEhmsMhMxq
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb5H1nW9XQ
「好！頭先嗰段我會叫導演cut咗佢，一陣我嗌action你就即刻入戲！」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVGio5B5Uo
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VQo0rt5tf
的士司機馬上撥一撥稀疏的髮絲，然後給了我一個堅定的眼神。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlWxqsUtmW
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaFgJ4QOPi
「Action！」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiDJ210WoD
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEs9L9sUZXf
一聲令下，引擎咆哮一聲，的士呼嘯而去，在高速公路上逢車過車。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGyk6OMpWi
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YURCURLlw
眼看就要跟R8並排而行，比比鳥像發現被人跟蹤，R8越駛越快，漸漸拋離我們。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZrr79WRpv
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgoeh8Qnd1
老實說的士司機的技術認真不賴，只是顯然比比鳥也不是吃素的，而且車款性能明顯不止輸一個檔次。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnt8c3nJllI
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinbPKc72xN
眼見遠方的R8駛離了高速公路，到我們跟上去的時候，他們已經消失無蹤，而且我們也被逼停在交通燈前。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1itkIMZuOs
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfLYfjCK0q
我一拍椅背，深深不忿﹕「仆你個街！咁都追唔到！」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaMmFvVA2J
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOk2F4ETS8p
的士司機很稱職的演繹沉默寡言的性格，他只是利用倒後鏡用眼神問我﹕「咁而家點? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh5mRUAski
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSKOIdMhsN
雖然我也不知道截住他們有甚麼用，但我有點死心不息﹕「喺附近兜幾個圈，睇吓撞唔撞到。」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMkbh6OFFs
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIoOMD7RIx
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPvjkSzpKb
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcwcM2zYxx
的士司機按我的指示在附近兜截，但明顯地R8已經逃離現場，我一無所穫。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac7yUOkEyN
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl0DZft1ur
我垂頭喪氣伏在前方倚背，腦袋放空，完全不知道該怎樣做。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9WkUgPTy2
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2UAvfpLnW
的士司機輕聲問我﹕「咁我哋下一場戲係點呀? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31NU00YEDk
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVFy9FGQam
我從銀包中拿出一張五百元遞給他，有氣無力道﹕「車我去一個無人嘅地方，我要冷靜吓。」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfSR1Zh9HM
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbGWXQaeds
他接過鈔票後，一聲不響的開車，過了不知多久，我感到引擎關掉了。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsq2QVOlXQ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMInHUsGhT
我抬頭一看，車外有點灰濛濛一片，有草有樹，四野無人，是一條窄窄的山路，這裏是甚麼地方?2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe79qrwamj
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvRlO4geJl
「好cut！Good take！」是時候令他回歸現實。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiybafpSFYv
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlody6x2bT
的士佬馬上一輪嘴問我﹕「點呀點呀? 我演成點呀? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaREwL5aHQ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBMf2h5RPz
我戴上藍芽，裝作正跟導演溝通﹕「呀......好好！導演話你演得入型入格，做得非常好！」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhNrPZg7Cx
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nr68UkoBd
「係? 咁我會唔會仲有戲份? 其實我覺得自己好戲過林雪，而且又靚仔過佢！」他又撥一撥稀疏的頭髮。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZ2Ur2xvXb
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7OKaMtg23
我打開車門，下車之前跟他說﹕「導演喺我頭先上車嗰度拍緊另一組戲，你去搵佢，睇吓佢會唔會安排一下啦，我會同你講幾句好說話。」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPtJjoUscq
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tXqD69tPa
的士司機千恩萬謝﹕「唔該哂你呀哥仔，我攞金像獎嗰陣一定會多謝你㗎！係呢，點稱呼呀? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkUnfrT9eC
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUF7THf8CA9
「叫我Come on James啦......話時話，呢度邊度呀? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMCa2AqUNe
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIe4yMAvGOQ
「大帽山呀，你話要無人嘛，駛唔駛我車返你去搵導演? 」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmPTg0IMrL
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96nTPD11C9
我揮揮手﹕「唔駛啦，我仲要演一幕獨腳戲，一陣會有人接我啦，你走先啦。」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTG09fJagTL
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYGe2M0ZgQ
的士司機露出羡慕的表情，然後依依不捨的離開。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwesLAQWZlJ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYuKoRTK7H
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWqRctWl3U
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOKv0sXrFu
我看著漸漸遠去的的士，又轉頭望向另一方向，看來這條路可以一直上山頂，就上去看看吧。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWj808EUF72
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走著走著，我到了一個可遠眺城市的地方，看著一棵棵如火柴般的樓宇，心裏不禁在想，我到底是為了甚麼而努力? 辛苦讀書工作，OT受氣，換來的，就是一頂綠帽?2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0W5cFZVZl
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5TRYFhqac
我忍不住撿起一塊石頭，使勁丟到遠方，然後向天大嗌﹕「死仆街港女！」2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMGuNlKCNE
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轟隆！2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVrtNWc9XJ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2DWlyI1Yw
回應我的，卻是一聲雷響。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF4gZ1Ru8K
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbawCOQUoZh
我嚇了一跳，然後瞄一瞄天空，灰灰暗暗的正被密雲籠罩，似是快要下雨。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRp79c81Uf
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstP6UzJdg4
屌！連個天都唔鍾意我? 你等我落咗山先好落雨喎！2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqbhB5SjlX
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfPhzmTKIL
才走了幾步，正想打電話call的士之際，突然感到尿急。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHn41xLmi9X
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4NUmZgmsL
我左望望右望望，視線範圍之內，不要說廁所，連坑渠都沒有一條。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PPZOPJi55
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4It6c4rcE
算了，反正無人，求其快手屙咗篤尿就走。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyWXz05QlZ
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXto7giTyR
我走到路邊的一棵樹下，對著樹幹拉下褲鍊就開始小解。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3s0wW2D4M
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4td9ILnCh
正當我才開始解放，卻已經下起大雨。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mz5WRf1PE
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6khnI4I8K
我頂你！你落雨都比我屙埋先啦！駛唔駛咁趕呀?2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikcpzlWsev
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwx2Rzg6SNC
我馬上氣運丹田，使勁將所有尿液盡快逼出體外，樹幹已經被我濺得濕漉漉一片。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW5giGa7SW
2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMmbFxUNE5
卻說這個時候，突然眼前白光一閃，耳際一聲雷響，我感到身體如遭電亟，鼻端傳來一陣燒焦味，然後我就失去了知覺。2262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF0GcxHCY4