表叔一家人當年係家族入面都算係令人聞風喪膽既恐怖人物。801Please respect copyright.PENANAJnVU8vX3Nn
801Please respect copyright.PENANAzFosbB6z5p
要講番佢地既威水事蹟實在太多不能盡錄,但只可以講既係,有佢地呢家四口出現既地方,一定會寸草不生。801Please respect copyright.PENANALYlCCy7SrB
801Please respect copyright.PENANAsM042M8z0K
當你以為人地問你有冇女朋友,月入幾多已經夠mean,夠哂hardfeeling個時,表叔母已經係進化到問你幾時請飲,有冇樓。咁樣其實咪同細舅母差唔多level姐?801Please respect copyright.PENANA0kqI40qeIT
801Please respect copyright.PENANAh8CHkgzSjB
錯呀!!!801Please respect copyright.PENANAdZEIU0vYUm
801Please respect copyright.PENANAVJ9n3JBzBz
細舅母只會對住我地呢班近親先會咁口多,但係呢家人係咩人面前都會咁樣唔理人地感受,最恐怖既一點係佢地永遠會搵地方踩到你。801Please respect copyright.PENANATKuMt44F92
801Please respect copyright.PENANAG2eCe5VL5U
仲記得當初阿均成功入到醫學院時姨丈係大既家族group到報喜,但係當人人都係到恭喜前、congra後時,呢個時候表叔母居然會打句「做醫生第日實搵好多喇」黎破壞個氣氛。801Please respect copyright.PENANAU5W6g28AkW
801Please respect copyright.PENANApUqEO8N6jQ
然後每次家族聚會時佢都會私底下同其他遠房係到講阿均成家人都係勢利眼,咁高分就只係識揀醫黎讀,淨係識向錢看。801Please respect copyright.PENANA1Z2MQPdrQX
801Please respect copyright.PENANA5eWJmPWghy
但佢卻唔知道阿均當年係睇完醫龍而去選擇讀bio,然後咁多年苦讀只係為左做一次龍太郎。我仲記得當年阿均中二病到成日袋甜品係衫,想要盡力咁樣復原呢個角色,結果而家成為左唔可以提既黑歷史。801Please respect copyright.PENANAua9IAX2GeI
801Please respect copyright.PENANAVb63gcBvoZ
而當佢個大女係佢拆磨之下辛苦考入到UCL之後,佢地更加會肆無忌憚咁大聲講:「港大醫學院有咩咁叻呢,有能力既緊係去外國讀名牌大學喇。」801Please respect copyright.PENANAQtqqkMWqXS
801Please respect copyright.PENANADUpVk5ksXl
另外,佢地個細仔當初辛苦咁俾佢地逼入喇沙之後佢地就不時係到撩事鬥非,周圍同親戚問長問短要起人底,所有band1非名校既中學係佢地眼中都會顯得低賤。直到佢踩中讀緊皇仁既表哥同埋st paul男女既表妹,先肯停手。801Please respect copyright.PENANAgniLessEs9
801Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5fdTCWWfG
仲有當初表妹小心咁收埋既地底情唔小心俾佢地個女係中央溫書時撞破,阿姨同姨丈都未嬲,表叔同表叔母就已經唱通街,講到單純既puppy love好似好淫亂既一件事,有必要大叫一聲「成何體統」咁樣。個時甚至加鹽加醋到話連初吻都未失既表妹已經失左身,撞破既地點由中央變左做賓館門口。801Please respect copyright.PENANAcFvEml8Fo5
801Please respect copyright.PENANAdKhLp8Tm1R
記得阿姨初頭聽完嬲到想同佢地嘈交,但係俾姨丈叫停先放低件事。801Please respect copyright.PENANAoaaQyaS3HR
801Please respect copyright.PENANA2fqSXYaJRW
「隻狗咬你,唔通你又要咬番隻狗轉頭?」平時唔多講野既姨丈語出驚人,或者就係佢呢種態度先令佢可以咁成功。801Please respect copyright.PENANAa3t5FuHAmk
801Please respect copyright.PENANAtr79vFY2ww
而我地卻唔知道個時表叔連續幫公司失去左幾大客戶,到底同呢件事有冇關。801Please respect copyright.PENANAjLGkCfT6TL
801Please respect copyright.PENANALeurkI5Udw
長年累月落黎既爭執使到表叔一家人就已經同婆婆呢一脈有上牙齒印,佢地咁多年黎都唔會放過攻擊我地既機會。801Please respect copyright.PENANA4DC4vmZHbC
801Please respect copyright.PENANAl9TP6Au91j
不過對象都慢慢由難對付既大舅一家、細舅母一家同姨丈一家轉到我身上。801Please respect copyright.PENANAXn9n23dol4
見到好似死神咁樣行緊埋黎準備要收割我生命既表叔同表叔母,我心入面有啲不安。801Please respect copyright.PENANAK7ZaxESUd1
801Please respect copyright.PENANAuNC7qZgUJ3
一直以黎媽子同老豆對我都係實行緊呢一套放牧式育兒法,好記得老豆當初同我講溫室小花唔襟撞,要我學識一個人去闖下,唔可以成日靠沙維小白。801Please respect copyright.PENANAyw6aihUrpS
801Please respect copyright.PENANAMkO79PzSTt
但係老豆呀,波呢樣野不嬲都係十一條友踢架喇,家陣你要我一個人落場,我真係難啲以寡敵眾呀呢。801Please respect copyright.PENANAkhn8sYXke5
801Please respect copyright.PENANAc7l0TqiZBj
我拋出求救既眼神,老豆同媽子互相對望之後都係冇踏上前打救我。801Please respect copyright.PENANAtKI0qmOZjc
801Please respect copyright.PENANANBpYH1EiOi
正當呢個時候,手心傳來一陣溫暖。801Please respect copyright.PENANAWOmguaDM7S
801Please respect copyright.PENANAj6M5pD76DA
好似感覺到我既不安,Tiffany本來同我虛握緊既手突然間捉實左我,我感覺佢我地兩人既手指交疊,十指緊扣。801Please respect copyright.PENANAUIniavspLj
801Please respect copyright.PENANAYRzKuiyFH1
我望一望身邊既佢,Tiffany兩隻圓滾滾既雙目望住我:「有我陪你。」801Please respect copyright.PENANA2p6dLoEk8L
801Please respect copyright.PENANAYWLc755TEK
「仔,記唔記得老豆當初教你踢波既口訣。」呢個時候,老豆突然插把口。801Please respect copyright.PENANAaogPH29bfC
801Please respect copyright.PENANAgI65PRxs7l
咁多次,我點記得呀!!!801Please respect copyright.PENANA5WPFF9DWtP
801Please respect copyright.PENANA8rejEbaHQs
然後我望到老豆身邊既媽子突然用手作勢,畫左個圓形。801Please respect copyright.PENANAfAKnSlVXtq
801Please respect copyright.PENANAd5QsGPt7IO
屌!!!801Please respect copyright.PENANAEZE5XVQqGN
801Please respect copyright.PENANAnjl4Krdt0I
你地要幫我既話,唔該俾提示俾明顯啲呀大佬!!!801Please respect copyright.PENANAOPYQpmJHXD
801Please respect copyright.PENANA2vY6DpI3A0
「麥包最叻係咩?」老豆好似冇眼睇,直接係到點明我。801Please respect copyright.PENANAxi7QPwMrWF
801Please respect copyright.PENANAbCI58DsD2Q
然後我見到媽子好似覺得我好冇悟性咁樣低左低頭,佢心入面一定係諗緊:「如果唔係阿雅係到,我都賴得幫你搵番幾分面子。」801Please respect copyright.PENANA8g5nZzrW2o
801Please respect copyright.PENANA5rC8KO0f7l
媽子個手勢隱若間好似畫緊個圖示咁...圓中間分兩邊?801Please respect copyright.PENANAw8iCKyqpDx
801Please respect copyright.PENANAJZ2oRLthXY
「快,屈速!太極,借力打力!」我腦海入面突然出現左呢幾隻字。801Please respect copyright.PENANAhpjXYjR3mU
801Please respect copyright.PENANACFRxmpxKt0
有了——801Please respect copyright.PENANA7iIX3iQLGB
呢個時候我已經明白左老豆同媽子想要我做既事。801Please respect copyright.PENANACy2egac3ZM
801Please respect copyright.PENANAWEdR9OVA8q
天下武功,無堅不摧,唯快不破。801Please respect copyright.PENANA00GMrandMo
801Please respect copyright.PENANAFgL44vMODG
我地呢一房所有親戚都凝神屏氣咁望住我,準備睇我點樣應對佢地。801Please respect copyright.PENANAhrzb34md08
801Please respect copyright.PENANA7wLrbNiH2f
正當表叔同表叔母行埋我面前時,只見係佢地出口前我已經先發制人:「噫~~乜呢四位唔係就係表叔、表叔母、你地個女阿婷同阿輝咩!咁齊人番黎探我地呀,食唔慣英國米,屙壞肚呀?」801Please respect copyright.PENANANSQsr7CDC5
801Please respect copyright.PENANALYbavxKWZH
「食就一定食得慣架喇,我地血統入面天生就係Britishhhh~~~唔似你咁有住野蠻人既血脈!」阿婷答道。801Please respect copyright.PENANAkGZB9FR4gJ
801Please respect copyright.PENANArFuZyXU5ua
表叔先派出兩個仔女先打頭陣。801Please respect copyright.PENANAvWOqiMDnL6
801Please respect copyright.PENANA7uCttXx49g
「唔係呀,我記得阿輝仔係97年7月1打後先出世架,不過其實血統就唔關咩年份出世既事,呢啲野關遺傳事既。」我望一望表叔同表叔母。801Please respect copyright.PENANAZWRIhMIF6H
801Please respect copyright.PENANAMJWyt5xzug
「你...你...你——!」阿輝本來想還拖,但係發現自己根本駁唔到,因此佢直接用聲東擊西。801Please respect copyright.PENANABT14epuzWu
801Please respect copyright.PENANA1MJFKjoL0o
「你你你你,冇名你叫架?你漏口我地唔會怪你,畢竟唔係你既錯,但係你漏口又要出黎獻醜就係你既錯。」我義正詞嚴咁對住阿輝講。801Please respect copyright.PENANAi33Dt8BkEp
801Please respect copyright.PENANAacMMQ6euzd
「阿...家...家姐,佢...佢蝦...蝦我!」年紀未到十八既阿輝用左小朋友最慣用既退場方式。801Please respect copyright.PENANA7LmLQcmGLf
801Please respect copyright.PENANAWtpZB5FvkK
「算喇,其實食唔飽冇力講野都會有咁既後果。唔係喇,你地係咪連米都冇得食所以先番黎?」801Please respect copyright.PENANA43rWu3JiZv
801Please respect copyright.PENANA6jvtym5zpq
如果係外國撈到風生水氣佢地鬼會捨得番黎咩,貪香港租貴定係污染指數越黎越高定係租金就黎去到全球第一呀?801Please respect copyright.PENANA97xI9CFhOI
801Please respect copyright.PENANAccUj6sLic4
「你就冇得食,我地餐餐大魚大肉呀!」憤怒既阿婷反咬一口。801Please respect copyright.PENANANHbupjlCqL
801Please respect copyright.PENANAT0UuYekm3a
「我都睇得出既,你個樣同個look話左俾我知喇。」801Please respect copyright.PENANAAoiMZ7JT4e
801Please respect copyright.PENANAZTa1TlnSXy
我遮遮口笑道:「估唔到去左外國之後,你都依舊係著番大碼,不過今次係鬼婆大碼咁解喇!」801Please respect copyright.PENANAKW0t1XQONB
801Please respect copyright.PENANAG8li35rppP
「阿!!!」一擊分生死,阿婷同阿輝直接俾我擊倒退場。801Please respect copyright.PENANAUz2PBm4fU5
801Please respect copyright.PENANAEqQB20DQr5
我冇用任何一隻粗口就已經可以將佢地嚇退,除左要多謝Tiffany俾我既勇氣,更加要多謝台服英雄聯盟咁多位玩家教識我鬧人既技巧。801Please respect copyright.PENANAKfi7gsbIPd
801Please respect copyright.PENANAXvecpqmd4p
呢個時候表叔同表叔母意識到唔多對路,呢個明仔比起五年前要強得太多,唔知佢到底經過咩事?801Please respect copyright.PENANATv6qU7jEGA
801Please respect copyright.PENANAECz5SyK6Lf
哼,我笑左笑。801Please respect copyright.PENANAHXXDR5yPQr
801Please respect copyright.PENANAO0WPaRvPpZ
佢地係唔會明白我既經歷,我英雄聯盟既成就唔係好似普通人咁打排位升分衝鑽石,我係可以連鑽石積分都唔要,只要人地一開口問我屋企人,我就會企定定係到同佢討論人生討論到榮譽等級歸零既人。801Please respect copyright.PENANAWitchuvERi
801Please respect copyright.PENANANKK54uoRsF
除此而外,係建築業打混左成年,我已經慢慢學識左更多更高層次既攻擊手段,係工作中向每一位senior學習,佢地都有自己一套獨特既mean人方式,有別於地盤工友個直黎直去既放狗咬人式屌人,坐係office既每一位senior都係一條毒蛇——801Please respect copyright.PENANALGkFogolow
801Please respect copyright.PENANAmzewmiSi0d
不屌則已,一屌驚人。801Please respect copyright.PENANAMG4YiarZuQ