真實與虛假 - Abnormal

（視角1 .）01.517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2b9ApTwBR
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"我知道你們都覺得我不正常，但我並不是。我只想堅持這點。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWRbbKTi9a
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmjVo4bW7Q
面前是個年約20，長相清秀的男生。他安靜地坐在離我一米距離遠的椅上，或許是天生輕微下垂的眉眼，讓他看上去總帶點憂鬱感。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CE7L0Pcs5
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2367hVtoCt
我向他點頭表示明白，然後拿出紙筆跟錄音筆開始作記錄。大多數的精神病患都會否認，或許是不知道自己患病，但這是我們需要確認的事情。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuj4NTuotG
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透過聊天跟了解。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr66MCrKpMX
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TZ1FHetNl
"你說你是來自未來嗎?" 我問。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzq9Gl5FPPt
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQPSSmSGOD
男生並沒有立即回答，盯著我的眼神讓我覺得不自然，我低頭裝作翻資料，男生就在這時回答了。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3kmSafUaQ
"正確來說，是另一個宇宙。時間比這裡快一個小時。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMfQcJqy5t
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHmFe629Rx
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaq7YJq7Zhq
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517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSLrJ1b17V
這是我當上精神治療師以來第二個接觸的病患。老實說，他比第一個來得正常多了。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7auEkod9w
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKcrja2ZIj
至少他不是有暴力傾向的人，也不會跟我說怎麼樣的殺人方式是最"好玩"，什麼樣的是最"麻煩"這些。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq5aPCv9Q9
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlg1XyTD7ov
"另一個宇宙?你是指平行時空嗎? 如果是，又怎麼會比這裡快一小時?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrbXltEag5
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhstBeZwUu9
男生搖搖頭。"我相信這個世界不只存在一個或兩個宇宙。只是身處於這個宇宙裡的人無法知道另外多個宇宙發生的事，所以大部份人都不會相信它們的存在。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYU2AOEk91l
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMLD8er1ps
"那你是怎麼過來的?" 我問。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IifP0BHCg
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T96fyNP7U
男生猶豫了一下，"我不知道。醒來就在這邊了。" 然後依然緊盯著我，" 但我蠻驚訝會看到你。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebXgFYrlhF
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmviVmvDATu
我握住的筆頓了一下，"你認識我嗎? 在你的宇宙?" 我順著他的思路。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDRrz0w9Tu
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd85cEnlErR
"認識，"他平靜地回答，"我們是情侶。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1N9sbQMaj
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2W3XfUIR6
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeeamzTUTG
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他，是某著名大學的優等生。被帶到這裡是因為他的母親在一個月前發現他總說奇怪的話。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLzy2w0vQp
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQk2CC0Uif1
比如剛剛提到的，他不是這個宇宙的人。他對某些平常親近的人會表示陌生或不認識，狀態卻不像是裝的。性格也有很大的轉變，按他母親的話來看，他並不是這麼安靜的人。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNbBlO33bq
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd609cr8P6l
而對於面前的人剛剛說的這句話，我不得不驚愕一下。"情侶? 同性戀嗎?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DfwZV6NDq
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXinPvApkE
他點頭，"同性戀在我的宇宙裡是被大家接受的事。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuYfiHBwDE
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbRFc0KvoT
我點頭，在紙上寫下了關鍵字，打算回去再問問他的父母有關同性戀傾向的事。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdWORn0tzZ
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eRSmVfYEU
"能多說說你那個宇宙的事嗎?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3PilnGDJ9
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJR5Qp0Dnf9
他沉默著，沒有答話。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFlx773tJw
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcTZJPm4Dq
我在沉靜中等待了一會兒，又問，"跟這裡有什麼不一樣?發生的事也不一樣嗎?你在那兒也......"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTg6dl19Oe
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5p64JOaz4K
"環境是一樣，遇到的人時間不一樣....."他打斷了我的發問，斂下了目光，雙手交握，"但事情的結果是一樣的。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkfSDbnAHD
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxXHwpS81Q
我沒有說話，等他繼續。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmS3jpFN2H
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkedjP7LI3Y
"我的父親是在我18歲那年離去的，但在這兒是很早的時候。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDTt2wd7F3
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDce1jnexO
"我那朋友是有名的歌手，而在這兒他還只是剛成為練習生。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76AFcqqWYJ
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiVROPyS5d
我低頭作記錄，猜想這位大概有些癔想症狀。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuflWeKwSpG
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDaMZdUzpA
"還有一個月前我來到這裡，當時你，我是指在我那個宇宙的你，已經死了。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8baUfDqft
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyu1V31Hp7
抬頭，我不得又再一次驚詫，這是光明正大的咒詛。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQfXDaBMk2
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIMpCk04c9
"什麼原因?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9eoMOg5tc
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9BCWVDmBe
"......我殺的。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkJW68WS6m
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLHrGrIAyV
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517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZOtYMMklE
我想我開初所說的是錯的，這個男生大概也有暴力傾向，只是並不明顯。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBfkrlEZVW
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSpCwjl4GY
"為什麼要這麼做?"即使我知道這個人的話並不能完全相信，我卻按捺不住替自己伸冤的激動，"你不是喜歡我，或許該說是，他嗎?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDByCEQLte
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNitpj7eH4
"你喜歡蝴蝶嗎?我猜你跟他一樣。"他不答反問。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsX23PvOnC
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXSYK7RA4W
我愣了愣，的確我有收集蝴蝶標本的習慣。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhVIUkwcuH
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5d15UFg5g
"這是他教我的，喜歡的話，就用自己的方式留住。" 他似乎不需等我回答就已經確定了答案。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTZZWZ8UhU
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zhE6POXyj
我突然覺得頭皮發麻。想起家裡放著的標本，或許我應該把牠們都扔掉。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yunj8hCyi
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYwkYSSP4O
外表看上去溫和無害並不代表內心善良。看著面前的人，我突然想起這個說法。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9v1yE13Ff
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxe51QXid5
只是善良的定義又是什麼? 沒有人能完全當一個所謂善良的人，因為人性本善也本惡。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5mcQLlP4n
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9eMK0USAv
"現在看見我會想殺我嗎?" 517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6SjV0qAGt
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74KdVPGIpK
他搖頭，回答，"你不是他。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4NE2ctIqy
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1iz1AnPKG
"我不像他嗎?性格，還有給你的感覺，像嗎?如果像，你會因為想留住我而殺了我嗎?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjlOfijnaD
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzijGEGfKmV
"很像，但我不會。"他的聲音很輕，再次重複，"你不是他。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPq6M3P844A
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517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeQHkBqf5b
對話因為男生突然的不適而終止，我收拾了東西離開了房間。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4cFdTT97t
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQzsvTyOhR
那次之後我就再沒有跟男生對話的機會，因為他在交談不久後就自殺了，聽說躺在床上閉目的模樣依然很安靜。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrX6g45Qf3n
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblzRVazZ2e
我還沒來得及理解他的宇宙。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmjYmpZCcG
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0oSvQEkTY
錄音筆裡播放著他說的最後一句話。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2u0MGWihv
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAN8iIhGSE
"我還是想說，很高興認識你。希望在你眼中的我，是正常的。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJKA0Ryp9L
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就像開初他所堅持的。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HSoFzyTO9
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80Vd5ggwvD
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekYxKNLzmp
"我知道你們都覺得我不正常，但我並不是。"(視角2.)517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUUHb6EPuC
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38fO31UlOG
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko8uBxXVgK
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我不喜歡這裡。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjWOZoi039
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmkrlDDhPY
我是指，除了病院，更於這個宇宙。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3k6erEqLw
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XxLozGw0r
因為這是我那個原本很理想的宇宙逐漸要變成的宇宙。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFWbE3BtR8
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvPTPNDoiZ
不知道你們能不能明白我所說的。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUV8MWfbrsx
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGzS3xaP6j
因為你們是正常人，所以應該不會理解我這個被標籤為"不正常"的人所說的話。對嗎?517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7m8c48bFIl
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtNJXKK594
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QkOD833bf
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xvjCbiv6Q
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517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpskiJci3f
最先發現的是床頭櫃子上那張我考上大學後一家人的合照裡沒有了父親的身影。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ6977eG0Q
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgh2IoWDHU
我奇怪地問拿著相框問媽媽，卻反被奇怪地看著。"兒子啊，爸爸都離開10年了... ... 你18歲時的照片裡他當然不在啊。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2AsoFpHqW
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QAibEttXh
我搖頭，一臉狐疑。我18歲考上大學的時候爸爸明明還在，我們還一家人慶祝。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIRdKqGkTc
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeEFa7M8uV
"你那時候還說，要是時間可以快一小時就可以看到爸爸的最後一面... ...你今天是怎麼了?不舒服嗎?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10VBxhwWbl
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG7TvbqITg
我看著媽媽摸上自己的額一臉擔心。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRuoXGL6fY
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyPMlHxBDz
媽媽沒有變，只是看上去像蒼老憔悴了些。房間屋子沒有變，我沒有變。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHtF8YDA1w
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOtFWP2LH2
我猜想這裡大概是我不知道的宇宙。而我，就莫名其妙地來了。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXqtlavIKz
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVDCU2I4Ta
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Qtdm3gpoW
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517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxWGjwhdGh
我"正常"地過了幾天生活，漸漸發現這裡的時間比我那兒慢了一小時。但這不太影響。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDoVGKc7eR
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC7AYBeFsa
那天有個男生主動找了我，看見他的時候我有點驚訝，因為他在我那個世界是紅透天的歌手。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeMt3hm5V2
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLmlCCndVm
"喂，今晚陪我去喝酒吧?練習好累。"他搭上我的肩。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kh0yX1Nlj
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmNSsGYIzK
記憶中我跟他只是認識，在他成為歌手後就更加沒有聯繫，我應該不會是能讓他做出這種動作的對象。我的意思是，我們不是熟到可以勾肩搭膀那程度的朋友。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvtSOL94w5
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28ME32Uolb
雖然知道我現在身處的是第二個宇宙，但我還是沒有辦法裝作很熟的樣子。於是我推開他的手，說，" 明星就做明星該做的事去吧。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHPEQxZdUN
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdHtGIgB1g
對方愣了愣，然後大笑著又把手掛到我身上，" 你也跟我一起在做夢嗎?啊我也好想快點出道啊。你知道嗎?練習生的生活真不是人過的... ..."517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FmAYSYDiP
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c8FHjaDL3
我沒有聽見他接下來的話，不過下意識地把腦海裡想到的問題問出。"你還是練習生?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEwweZNXaw
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWxVYwpKUW
他一臉奇怪，就跟媽媽看我的表情一樣，說，"對啊。你不是也知道嗎?五年前... ..."他欲言又止，我盯著他要他接著說，他卻突然發怒，"媽的你裝什麼失憶啊，五年前不是因為你我早就!"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHX1iXMJb93
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結果他還是沒有說完。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvBDQ5r4b4
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNz7F7rHSkK
不過我能猜到，大概是因為我才讓他錯失良機，以致現在還只是剛成為練習生。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPVeMxlFgP
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCCBBNCZvR
具體發生了什麼我不知道，不過這的確讓人覺得可悲。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAT9tA1uPw7
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeWPtHxnwP
我是說，這個宇宙的我。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BYBfyEKOi
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517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnD1O9kChsa
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04.517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjWzauqN4M
再後來發生的事都讓我看見那臉熟悉的表情，朋友是，我媽是。那就像是在看一個，瘋子或傻瓜的眼神。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz70qAFO7hZ
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OFEnoLcSt
反正最後的結果，是我被送到了這裡。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWoVuUxfkd
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnTkQikRXU
"你說你是來自未來嗎?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ889rYEroNo
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw202ygYwQ
是我再熟悉不過的人，在這裡竟然是我的，精神治療師。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkp6tWeeKvA
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3F0CPQKmB
我盯著面前的人，腦海裡浮現的畫面是自己握刀的手還有他的血。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdtFDRezt8
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouuZ41vfIS
"喜歡的話，就用自己的方式留住。"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwdo3EZcui
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELHquKAKXx
當時我的宇宙正在改變。人們看我跟他的目光開始不一樣，就像我跟面前的人提到同性戀的時候，那覺得詫異的表情和目光。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSX78xrfUT
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oXzfqDETx
他在我的宇宙裡也開始改變。他不是不愛我，他只是每天都問我，"你覺得我們正常嗎?"517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQLnHKWrgg
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrSFkN2vIC
這個問題重要嗎?517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF8K6ny7wz
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfOQL8cT85
不正常的定義，就是由正常的人定義的。但他們從不了解，為什麼那樣就是不正常了?說不定被認為正常的你們才是不正常呢。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFOouVTDji
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi1tLP7nr7
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUbYFXKff5
05.517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0kJqWxmbL
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBx0TEMrtD3
春天會開花是正常的，夏天會覺得炎熱是正常的，秋天樹葉會落下是正常的，冬天覺得寒冷是正常的。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRG8fYGa7R
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSsKnFNadI
我喜歡同性。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZSvFgVSCj
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJm9NNTBC7
正常嗎?517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHkkpoamBm
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFXkSkOdJH
如果不，我應該存在嗎?517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4M8XGNpZcf
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjC8CILCbUE
就像我理想化的宇宙，就已經不存在了。回到的，只是這個，我生存不了的世界。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQrqS8gC2u
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9imwj43n8p
從窗外望出去，我看見了他的身影。他回家的路是我熟悉的。517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEA2MR9Vlm
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJXhg1DREr
06.517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDoeHRR322
517Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KuunXRrd7
我喜歡的人，很高興認識你。希望在你眼中，我會是正常的人。