真實與虛假 - Abnormal

（視角1 .）01.520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSceJ33g6Bf
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"我知道你們都覺得我不正常，但我並不是。我只想堅持這點。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9ymtudg68
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面前是個年約20，長相清秀的男生。他安靜地坐在離我一米距離遠的椅上，或許是天生輕微下垂的眉眼，讓他看上去總帶點憂鬱感。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiP3sUQ4erZ
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我向他點頭表示明白，然後拿出紙筆跟錄音筆開始作記錄。大多數的精神病患都會否認，或許是不知道自己患病，但這是我們需要確認的事情。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYjdKiFtni
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透過聊天跟了解。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstlv9o80JQ
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"你說你是來自未來嗎?" 我問。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiaqeI8I8G
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男生並沒有立即回答，盯著我的眼神讓我覺得不自然，我低頭裝作翻資料，男生就在這時回答了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWuXIY6T2S
"正確來說，是另一個宇宙。時間比這裡快一個小時。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfEwDJM5eU
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這是我當上精神治療師以來第二個接觸的病患。老實說，他比第一個來得正常多了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnHsYQENhH
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至少他不是有暴力傾向的人，也不會跟我說怎麼樣的殺人方式是最"好玩"，什麼樣的是最"麻煩"這些。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiWV3oqW8q
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXzUILaKhi
"另一個宇宙?你是指平行時空嗎? 如果是，又怎麼會比這裡快一小時?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq11lhQeUB
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男生搖搖頭。"我相信這個世界不只存在一個或兩個宇宙。只是身處於這個宇宙裡的人無法知道另外多個宇宙發生的事，所以大部份人都不會相信它們的存在。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4MJht3QH4
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"那你是怎麼過來的?" 我問。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbDiX1G26P
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男生猶豫了一下，"我不知道。醒來就在這邊了。" 然後依然緊盯著我，" 但我蠻驚訝會看到你。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3BjkHbdC0
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我握住的筆頓了一下，"你認識我嗎? 在你的宇宙?" 我順著他的思路。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85NkOTD4Ap
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"認識，"他平靜地回答，"我們是情侶。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcAMzoH58E
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他，是某著名大學的優等生。被帶到這裡是因為他的母親在一個月前發現他總說奇怪的話。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajv1VUvkCC
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比如剛剛提到的，他不是這個宇宙的人。他對某些平常親近的人會表示陌生或不認識，狀態卻不像是裝的。性格也有很大的轉變，按他母親的話來看，他並不是這麼安靜的人。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kIru6ZlRF
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而對於面前的人剛剛說的這句話，我不得不驚愕一下。"情侶? 同性戀嗎?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXL0UBeXkP
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他點頭，"同性戀在我的宇宙裡是被大家接受的事。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw3QbK8BrP
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我點頭，在紙上寫下了關鍵字，打算回去再問問他的父母有關同性戀傾向的事。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjODE52kLR
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"能多說說你那個宇宙的事嗎?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE2AQbLU5Y
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他沉默著，沒有答話。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EMuwaueqb
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我在沉靜中等待了一會兒，又問，"跟這裡有什麼不一樣?發生的事也不一樣嗎?你在那兒也......"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoksJaX6jM
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"環境是一樣，遇到的人時間不一樣....."他打斷了我的發問，斂下了目光，雙手交握，"但事情的結果是一樣的。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7jf8SXYz0
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我沒有說話，等他繼續。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcXAPvxXzO
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"我的父親是在我18歲那年離去的，但在這兒是很早的時候。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6SOoWKAJM
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"我那朋友是有名的歌手，而在這兒他還只是剛成為練習生。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lAmx2nvsr
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我低頭作記錄，猜想這位大概有些癔想症狀。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rSlKsa7lw
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"還有一個月前我來到這裡，當時你，我是指在我那個宇宙的你，已經死了。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3pqiv0Ysn
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抬頭，我不得又再一次驚詫，這是光明正大的咒詛。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRuTV3x4WP
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"什麼原因?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocp0a3JPVw
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"......我殺的。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRnDBEyGiK
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我想我開初所說的是錯的，這個男生大概也有暴力傾向，只是並不明顯。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccvysMoTqO
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"為什麼要這麼做?"即使我知道這個人的話並不能完全相信，我卻按捺不住替自己伸冤的激動，"你不是喜歡我，或許該說是，他嗎?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnKdhvOgxi
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"你喜歡蝴蝶嗎?我猜你跟他一樣。"他不答反問。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrPKAcTIOA
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我愣了愣，的確我有收集蝴蝶標本的習慣。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITlOeyxi3H
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"這是他教我的，喜歡的話，就用自己的方式留住。" 他似乎不需等我回答就已經確定了答案。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3tbRTSHzj
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我突然覺得頭皮發麻。想起家裡放著的標本，或許我應該把牠們都扔掉。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQD2BKapFmW
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外表看上去溫和無害並不代表內心善良。看著面前的人，我突然想起這個說法。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihOt8taLwU
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只是善良的定義又是什麼? 沒有人能完全當一個所謂善良的人，因為人性本善也本惡。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCKqFFcubU
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"現在看見我會想殺我嗎?" 520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9J9sF9JCT
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他搖頭，回答，"你不是他。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTZKnzU4Zq
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"我不像他嗎?性格，還有給你的感覺，像嗎?如果像，你會因為想留住我而殺了我嗎?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURSQZdQE5q
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"很像，但我不會。"他的聲音很輕，再次重複，"你不是他。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOYe1PxCBh
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對話因為男生突然的不適而終止，我收拾了東西離開了房間。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzOACMKAuN
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那次之後我就再沒有跟男生對話的機會，因為他在交談不久後就自殺了，聽說躺在床上閉目的模樣依然很安靜。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64ntv6SHOj
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我還沒來得及理解他的宇宙。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx9VjikDEM
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錄音筆裡播放著他說的最後一句話。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt1phAoDft
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"我還是想說，很高興認識你。希望在你眼中的我，是正常的。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrNBmFWR83
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就像開初他所堅持的。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcurBJ52Gr
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"我知道你們都覺得我不正常，但我並不是。"(視角2.)520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aAUk7qkRs
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我不喜歡這裡。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ARznMXZ4g
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我是指，除了病院，更於這個宇宙。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x4Mrwj2qO
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因為這是我那個原本很理想的宇宙逐漸要變成的宇宙。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09lbnQqYo8
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不知道你們能不能明白我所說的。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqSlhHTqfI
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因為你們是正常人，所以應該不會理解我這個被標籤為"不正常"的人所說的話。對嗎?520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSI2Bf7brb
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最先發現的是床頭櫃子上那張我考上大學後一家人的合照裡沒有了父親的身影。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAwXInOSZC
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我奇怪地問拿著相框問媽媽，卻反被奇怪地看著。"兒子啊，爸爸都離開10年了... ... 你18歲時的照片裡他當然不在啊。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdYKbEMtwU
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我搖頭，一臉狐疑。我18歲考上大學的時候爸爸明明還在，我們還一家人慶祝。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SsufsFInS
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"你那時候還說，要是時間可以快一小時就可以看到爸爸的最後一面... ...你今天是怎麼了?不舒服嗎?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1861xmWwp
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我看著媽媽摸上自己的額一臉擔心。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8u4TKebEM3
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媽媽沒有變，只是看上去像蒼老憔悴了些。房間屋子沒有變，我沒有變。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VjyCCBqgx
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我猜想這裡大概是我不知道的宇宙。而我，就莫名其妙地來了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgbpMf6bC7
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我"正常"地過了幾天生活，漸漸發現這裡的時間比我那兒慢了一小時。但這不太影響。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzscKiPvm4
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那天有個男生主動找了我，看見他的時候我有點驚訝，因為他在我那個世界是紅透天的歌手。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CQIm8hwmI
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"喂，今晚陪我去喝酒吧?練習好累。"他搭上我的肩。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPQcGw9JKd
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記憶中我跟他只是認識，在他成為歌手後就更加沒有聯繫，我應該不會是能讓他做出這種動作的對象。我的意思是，我們不是熟到可以勾肩搭膀那程度的朋友。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsJ9SVq57F
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雖然知道我現在身處的是第二個宇宙，但我還是沒有辦法裝作很熟的樣子。於是我推開他的手，說，" 明星就做明星該做的事去吧。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWmC2yG8TC
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對方愣了愣，然後大笑著又把手掛到我身上，" 你也跟我一起在做夢嗎?啊我也好想快點出道啊。你知道嗎?練習生的生活真不是人過的... ..."520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AzLZqxdRs
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我沒有聽見他接下來的話，不過下意識地把腦海裡想到的問題問出。"你還是練習生?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47bKpiPWiP
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他一臉奇怪，就跟媽媽看我的表情一樣，說，"對啊。你不是也知道嗎?五年前... ..."他欲言又止，我盯著他要他接著說，他卻突然發怒，"媽的你裝什麼失憶啊，五年前不是因為你我早就!"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0pExS2MVm
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結果他還是沒有說完。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IzhbaJGMQ
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不過我能猜到，大概是因為我才讓他錯失良機，以致現在還只是剛成為練習生。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGJbPS3NxG
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具體發生了什麼我不知道，不過這的確讓人覺得可悲。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzvtvMojvj
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我是說，這個宇宙的我。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuo7NQDWSf
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04.520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9YZ1WQ39o
再後來發生的事都讓我看見那臉熟悉的表情，朋友是，我媽是。那就像是在看一個，瘋子或傻瓜的眼神。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNM1nHj5pC
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3kIRW1Msy
反正最後的結果，是我被送到了這裡。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmDsf21yFL
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡan3KQjXUDB
"你說你是來自未來嗎?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWJeNIQjhd
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMIQLgzC8k
是我再熟悉不過的人，在這裡竟然是我的，精神治療師。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXk70uxNa4
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk21ARLxmN
我盯著面前的人，腦海裡浮現的畫面是自己握刀的手還有他的血。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoL0bYInvxK
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJc2HRT1dL4
"喜歡的話，就用自己的方式留住。"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghtMNa2meg
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXw59AbDS0o
當時我的宇宙正在改變。人們看我跟他的目光開始不一樣，就像我跟面前的人提到同性戀的時候，那覺得詫異的表情和目光。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3jC815OFD
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooSwrDBmev
他在我的宇宙裡也開始改變。他不是不愛我，他只是每天都問我，"你覺得我們正常嗎?"520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfWvEdDxOZ
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy731Gq26Wc
這個問題重要嗎?520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4kzS8tFSv
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfSPPo9VCv
不正常的定義，就是由正常的人定義的。但他們從不了解，為什麼那樣就是不正常了?說不定被認為正常的你們才是不正常呢。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEODzefaRbf
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdvCYu8l31
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHbBbZ07yZ
05.520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9rS2HDZWh
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpacxoKpCSV
春天會開花是正常的，夏天會覺得炎熱是正常的，秋天樹葉會落下是正常的，冬天覺得寒冷是正常的。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9D13Ure43
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcK6xTOMkQj
我喜歡同性。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMmCKFsdVP
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibLd7JrzND
正常嗎?520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGY3iaIO7R
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfM4pGvhVxt
如果不，我應該存在嗎?520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6eRSg6McZ
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqacsRNFXB
就像我理想化的宇宙，就已經不存在了。回到的，只是這個，我生存不了的世界。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWaHc85pPJ
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAY9RnpL5W
從窗外望出去，我看見了他的身影。他回家的路是我熟悉的。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiTHGye8uq
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQSQhiOGIn
06.520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsaFi3IaD1
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKVbvc0gIY
我喜歡的人，很高興認識你。希望在你眼中，我會是正常的人。