當克叔還是個青春少年郎時,也曾經非常中二,長得比同齡男孩人高馬大不說,還特別精力旺盛,每天除了勾搭鎮上漂亮的妹子,就是有打不完的架,最愛跟好哥們揪團把所有情敵都揍成豬頭,也最怕上課,什麼文學歷史通通都是打瞌睡的好伙伴。906Please respect copyright.PENANAOpOjzgafNL
906Please respect copyright.PENANATQbUJ0ewwj
學業成績?在那個年代,書讀不好也不是天大的事,有手有腳會做事就好。拜登家本就有塊祖上傳下來的地,家裡也不止他一個兒子能幫忙趕牛餵馬收農,因此拜登老爹也不管這熊孩子了,愛幹啥幹啥去,他們南方的漢子就是要自己闖出一片天。906Please respect copyright.PENANAxnWbi45lGA
906Please respect copyright.PENANAoH0W1TzsCg
於是,初中畢業後,他一收到軍校招生簡章,就立馬歡樂地去報名,憑著天生的優秀體能考進去,從此為國為民,拋頭顱灑熱血,豪氣干雲,Man力突破天際!906Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZyuouTkHZ
906Please respect copyright.PENANAs78119VUiv
才十五歲就立志從軍的小克叔,真是相當有抱負,雖然初衷有點不太一樣——906Please respect copyright.PENANAicFOcThQpb
906Please respect copyright.PENANATa39DDVykR
「耶嘿,再也不用讀書囉,天天打架最棒惹!ヽ( ° ▽°)ノ」906Please respect copyright.PENANA0XgCelFMvu
906Please respect copyright.PENANADb3wXmXVbJ
然而,理想是豐滿的,現實卻是骨感的,軍校不僅不准學生打架,還不希望學生成為一群無腦的武夫,於是,小克叔每到考核時期,都默默對著課本流下兩行清淚。906Please respect copyright.PENANAUy1xRdcrFd
906Please respect copyright.PENANAvgelDtONBI
「幹!是哪個混蛋騙我當兵不用讀書的?〒△〒」906Please respect copyright.PENANAMbHIg3PmHe
906Please respect copyright.PENANA14n29FzQCh
負責招生的軍官顆顆笑。906Please respect copyright.PENANAjwDGmGiDJH
906Please respect copyright.PENANAkdSL3UpPrc
從早到晚的魔鬼操練,消磨了少年郎的血氣方剛,心性也稍微沈穩了些,模樣也越發俊朗了,終於,十八歲那年,他穿著英挺的軍服回到老家,當即就把曖昧多年的鎮花給迷得不要不要的,立馬一腳踹開所有追求者,欣然答應求婚。906Please respect copyright.PENANASqPJCF2UAd
906Please respect copyright.PENANA6WuqdLbCGh
春風得意的小克叔摟著漂亮未婚妻,朝不甘心的情敵們齜了齜牙,「想幹架?」906Please respect copyright.PENANAS9qPzaVylw
906Please respect copyright.PENANAys4lrVDqgw
情敵們想起天天被揍成豬頭的不堪往事,再看看小克叔越發孔武有力的體格,只好各自回家哭哭,其中一位追求鎮花最久差點成功的黑髮小子更是大受刺激,決定化情傷為動力,收拾包袱外出闖蕩,誓要幹出一番大事業衣錦還鄉。906Please respect copyright.PENANAk03zGUessu
906Please respect copyright.PENANAxdGNsV4YS4
鎮花是標準的南方美女,胸大腰細翹臀,性格爽朗,父親經商,家境也好,跟地主拜登家也算門當戶對,兩人的婚約可說是人人稱羨。906Please respect copyright.PENANApFgM8P2d8c
906Please respect copyright.PENANA2sJ0SvgYxC
可惜,好景不常,軍人是沒有自由的,光是操練和任務就佔去大半時間,能留給戀愛的時間並不多,好在鎮花並非等不及,將婚期訂在兩年後,屆時克里斯的軍階較穩了,就能申請調到離家較近的基地,只要不出任務,兩夫妻隨時都能相聚。906Please respect copyright.PENANABT3u41nfLz
906Please respect copyright.PENANAYxpe6RBtoi
誰知,兩年後,美國經濟大蕭條,所有產業受到嚴重打擊,工廠一家家倒閉,公司也一間間破產,所有人都失業,全國民生跌落谷底,連遠在南方的德州也不例外,就算是地主,種的東西賣不出去,一樣陷入困境。906Please respect copyright.PENANAOeO22GYWBn
906Please respect copyright.PENANAphzZU1ez7f
那是美國最黑暗的時期,人人窮困潦倒,處處可見瘋狂搶奪餿食的景況,曾有老婦在回憶這段往事時,說她為了能吃下長蛆的肉,不得不拔掉眼鏡,眼不見為淨。906Please respect copyright.PENANA3D4lMyC8N0
906Please respect copyright.PENANAQLF3GvMEMa
拜登家和鎮花的家人本來還指望克里斯當兵的錢能幫上忙,誰知道政府更窮,發不出軍人的薪餉不說,還加重他們的任務,必須到各地去維護秩序鎮壓暴民。906Please respect copyright.PENANAGgG7IP2s92
906Please respect copyright.PENANAzDQx4etkma
有天,一封信寄到克里斯的基地,是未婚妻沾了淚跡的滿滿歉語。906Please respect copyright.PENANA1o14KzaUXI
906Please respect copyright.PENANAO6jljMsA1u
原來,當初外出闖蕩的黑髮小子,真的挖到一塊油田發達了,得知他們還沒有舉行婚禮,就匆匆趕回來重新追求鎮花,並承諾會讓她的家人也過上好日子。906Please respect copyright.PENANA4xaeHgVY9O
906Please respect copyright.PENANAPdekK3LVAT
克里斯沈默了很久,最後小心翼翼地收起信,夾緊腋下的柺杖,一瘸一瘸走回房間,身上纏著滲血的紗布,理應高大的身影竟消瘦了許多。906Please respect copyright.PENANAX1VnSUXerr
906Please respect copyright.PENANArE1qXDDFzF
那個另嫁他人的女孩,不知道自己的前未婚夫在出任務時,因體力不支,不小心中了流彈,差點沒命,吊著一口氣在病床上躺了好幾天,這才醒過來。906Please respect copyright.PENANAkIaMATa9oQ
906Please respect copyright.PENANAzJLHuxXLQj
為了省下上頭發派的乾糧物資,好偷偷寄給家人和心愛的未婚妻,克里斯一直都省著不用,餓昏了才吃一小口裹腹。沒錢又回不了家,這是他唯一能想出照顧家人和愛人的方法,但顯然地,他失敗了。906Please respect copyright.PENANAgrjPeR1pda
906Please respect copyright.PENANA7nCkGj1np5
第一次嚐到心傷的滋味,讓曾有的張狂徹底消失。沒有好的資本,就別妄想留住身邊的人——在逐步迎向戰爭的那幾年裡,他越來越體會這個道理,心性也真正地沈穩了。906Please respect copyright.PENANAW4lmM3d7Vh
906Please respect copyright.PENANA13U7qFvi4V
三年後,新政策推出,美國終於漸漸走出蕭條,克里斯仍在軍隊奮戰。腦袋啃不了書的他,階級爬得比會讀書考試的人慢,但敢吃苦,有膽識,身手又好,漸漸地,他受到上級的賞識,被調到更具挑戰性、薪資也更高的部隊,慢慢擁有自己的一隻小隊。906Please respect copyright.PENANAnGCdyC6yPM
906Please respect copyright.PENANADowkRRTFN7
閒暇時,他會跟大家去酒吧找漂亮的妞兒說笑,也會看脫衣秀,再把發酒瘋的隊友揍暈扛回基地。軍隊裡,跟當地女孩一夜情的事屢見不鮮,不少對他有好感的女孩也時有暗示,但他不愛糟蹋人,也不想在穩定下來前有不清不楚的糾葛,便一律裝沒聽懂。906Please respect copyright.PENANAY5xhmKGuIh
906Please respect copyright.PENANAWMbhiFJX3o
他的父母很恩愛,即使老媽身材變形得厲害,老爹也天天抱著腫如豬的妻子,口口聲聲地喊:「小甜心。」窮困落沒後,兩夫妻天天為生計吵得不可開交,卻始終沒肯離開彼此,老爹病倒時,老媽終日守在床邊照顧,直到老爹去世,也不曾說出一個苦字。906Please respect copyright.PENANAff7h6mP0Li
906Please respect copyright.PENANAci4AcZnbQn
這樣始終如一的感情,才是他想要的。906Please respect copyright.PENANAuzXXYW7xBU
906Please respect copyright.PENANA0l9oZsb0yX
後來珍珠港事變,美國宣布參與二戰,他告別家人,離開故土,踏上征途。906Please respect copyright.PENANABKcjBaTwhH
906Please respect copyright.PENANAHvxdtrgJIM
已經三十二歲的他,依然光棍一枚,經歷過風光快活的日子,也走過落魄病苦的低潮,看過無數同袍的生死傷殘,也體驗了家人逝去的哀傷,比起來,那段讓他關在房裡傻哭的情傷,反而在記憶中淡薄了許多。906Please respect copyright.PENANAHnEe8WZ4ci
906Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZN5iQQjv1
在世界戰場廝殺的那三年,是最艱險的日子,也漸漸察覺到軍事政治的骯髒,讓他曾為美國聲稱捍衛正義的宣言而沸騰的熱血冷卻下來,但他始終記得老爹的告誡。906Please respect copyright.PENANAGr8gdOlH46
906Please respect copyright.PENANA0JFwKy3tbb
「兒子,不論環境把我們逼到什麼境地,我們都要問心無愧。」906Please respect copyright.PENANAaQQ8H8mie9
906Please respect copyright.PENANAA1eF3gwCP4
在大蕭條的那段黑暗期,他曾想過鋌而走險,幹些高利潤的違法勾當,就被他老爹在書信中當頭棒喝罵醒。從此,一句「問心無愧」成了他最堅定的信仰。906Please respect copyright.PENANAetl1hTKvfh
906Please respect copyright.PENANApSyg4QCWkd
最後,他戰死在南太平洋的一個小島上,渾身彈孔,慘不忍睹,但至少他安全送走了其他隊友,他想殉職軍人的撫卹金應該夠老媽養老吧,希望她老人家別太傷心。906Please respect copyright.PENANAOxDKmcDhXL
906Please respect copyright.PENANApGnGziTGH4
再然後,他一睜眼,就見到了天使,金髮碧眼,美麗聖潔得教人移不開視線。906Please respect copyright.PENANAWiik2EUXVo
906Please respect copyright.PENANAt0MeDFlIdq
「如果我給你新的人生、新的使命,你願意跟我走嗎?」906Please respect copyright.PENANAb3el5ukTxt
906Please respect copyright.PENANAkrqEnycGIQ
「跟天使走,我這算是上天堂了?」906Please respect copyright.PENANAha7iOqzE40
906Please respect copyright.PENANAP8gyDuGja3
「算是吧。」906Please respect copyright.PENANA327TNQsGYv
906Please respect copyright.PENANAumbhZE3YXE
果然信老爹的話准沒錯,只要問心無愧,總會遇到光明!906Please respect copyright.PENANAeh9nlxJA9r
906Please respect copyright.PENANATWT7xz1cuG
他握住天使伸出的手站起身,回頭看了眼自己的死狀,忍不住放聲大笑。906Please respect copyright.PENANA7FuEkydPkG
906Please respect copyright.PENANACSoLz9LrmH
有人說,人在死前,會在腦海閃過這一生所有的重要回憶,但他倒地的那一刻,想起的卻是老爹吃著老媽做的肉醬湯邊喊小甜心的肉麻畫面。906Please respect copyright.PENANA4VwaMvqJXl
906Please respect copyright.PENANAEc9Zh0IcmJ
大概是自己死得像一團肉醬的緣故吧?╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭906Please respect copyright.PENANAPoEwYZvTVf
906Please respect copyright.PENANAm15dnexEZ4
許多年後,半途出家的克里斯,雖然只有中等資質的靈力,卻憑著比多數靈能者還敏捷的身手及豐富的作戰經驗,熬出了頭,升上高階偵察員,再次擁有自己的一個小隊:一位自帶家僕的老古板、一位猥瑣中二的科技宅、一位帶著拖油瓶的年輕媽媽,還有總在他身邊神出鬼沒的董小七——那個他誤以為是天使的閻王之子。906Please respect copyright.PENANAzzoiMNyWVZ
906Please respect copyright.PENANABpkqlRUsmp
有小孩的地方總是熱鬧,特別是當那個拖油瓶疑似有過動症時,簡直比打仗還教他頭痛,偏偏又揍不得,至少不能明目張膽地揍,因為老古板很疼猴死囝仔,而且孩子的媽實在長得正!是個男人都不希望隊裡的美女跑了,追不到留著賞心悅目也好。906Please respect copyright.PENANAaDbj3m2oem
906Please respect copyright.PENANAM8FGwkpMxF
克里斯不否認自己對葉迦娜是有那麼些好感,活潑單純的可愛女子誰不喜歡?但對方心裡就只有孩子死去的爹,自己也不再是莽撞的追愛小子,所以那份喜歡就轉為兄妹之情,盡心照顧這少根筋的傻妹子,把老惹他生氣的皮小鬼當兒子,連帶兒子的黑奶爸也一併列入保護範圍——或者該說,他早已習慣將大家都放在身後保護了。906Please respect copyright.PENANA7sH1ieFWId
906Please respect copyright.PENANAHEy67kH8RP
只有董小七一直堅持站在身邊,讓他時不時都要抓上一把往後拉。906Please respect copyright.PENANAYortQLPTHC
906Please respect copyright.PENANAjPHSp8xdBI
後來傻妹妹去世了,死小孩長大了,還跟老古板談戀愛了——混蛋兒子居然愛上了等同養父之一的老黑!這對他一個生長在天主教家庭的直男來說,簡直是三觀俱毀!906Please respect copyright.PENANAz8orY7tBGy
906Please respect copyright.PENANAZkC8O5jmLK
「呵呵,你們西方的上帝之外還有其他同等地位的神,路西法其實是西方天界下派歐美地府的閻王天使,而不是聖經大魔王,這些真相難道還不夠毀你三觀嗎?」906Please respect copyright.PENANAoTQUp9vnze
906Please respect copyright.PENANAocrlADbDaj
「……」906Please respect copyright.PENANArnZHYqQY1f
906Please respect copyright.PENANAyg5qpzJdXc
好吧,董小七的安慰還挺有用的。906Please respect copyright.PENANAqybgVgjKlG
906Please respect copyright.PENANAJNeAdwQfpn
從此,克里斯天天窩在沙發上,看猴死囝仔纏著老古板肉麻秀恩愛,好似又回到美國南方小鎮的家裡,他依然是那手捧大碗公喝湯聽老爹喊老媽小甜心的中二少年。906Please respect copyright.PENANAx1Yb76LjhF
906Please respect copyright.PENANA9uDJE4brQA
或許,教出葉育這麼噁心肉麻死小孩的自己,也是個噁心肉麻的人吧,何時他也能找個老婆生一堆中二屁孩子,然後天天摟著中年發福的老婆喊甜心?906Please respect copyright.PENANAlp2Ib7Ghpo
906Please respect copyright.PENANAhH2Yi95KkC
這個想法不斷在心底發酵,直到他遇見了薇安。906Please respect copyright.PENANAJDmTyTMzPC
906Please respect copyright.PENANAIVpSlHRtgA
906Please respect copyright.PENANAARmc4KEiQQ
德國的雪呼嘯拍過玻璃,悶熱的暖氣吹得人口乾舌燥,卻是他們自發現咒殺以來的難得清閒。沒有魔女的糾纏不休,沒有尤爾陷入幻覺的異常,沒有老黑成天的愁雲慘霧,彷彿他們只是單純被風雪耽擱行程的觀光旅客。906Please respect copyright.PENANAeKJnbDySry
906Please respect copyright.PENANAlVGLxrKSdN
這夜,克里斯突然醒來,感覺自己做了一個很長的夢,夢裡有他已成歷史的青春年少,也有他成為偵察員後的種種,有槍聲炮彈,有課堂碎念,還有一家子的吵吵鬧鬧,也有自己硬往肚吞的血淚,人生起伏,悲歡離合,生死相隔,盡濃縮其中。906Please respect copyright.PENANAYUTzkNv85v
906Please respect copyright.PENANAlJuoLlGF0w
他怔然發了會呆,待那飄逐過往的意識終於回籠,才翻身一撈,抱住睡在一旁的董小七。這彷彿融入血液化為本能意識的動作,早已是他改不掉的習慣,因為他身邊總有個小腦不平衡的小面癱,讓他不得不隨時拉上一把。906Please respect copyright.PENANAqYBOJZESP5
906Please respect copyright.PENANAtPSoWwEYio
在董司常刻意避開他的那幾年,他始終覺得生活少了什麼。薇安是他的摯愛,這毋庸置疑,但當一個曾終日圍在身邊的人突然消失了,雖不至於傷心難過,卻也難免懷念。906Please respect copyright.PENANAFG1F3mkLt6
906Please respect copyright.PENANAoaCNJU0wYN
摸了把懷裡比女孩還硬梆梆的身子,又親一口董小七萬年癱的臉蛋,克里斯忍不住笑了笑,收緊環抱戀人的手臂,偷偷在心底學老爹喊了句「小甜心」,滿足地閉上眼。906Please respect copyright.PENANAPn7lLjVSE0
906Please respect copyright.PENANAssL0WkbcxC
這樣,很好。906Please respect copyright.PENANAFbArfScN5f
906Please respect copyright.PENANAjmWWaM1fkz
906Please respect copyright.PENANASi76Fv42h8
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆906Please respect copyright.PENANAMHK5Muxg9l
906Please respect copyright.PENANAuCMVmvgpMK
906Please respect copyright.PENANAHe2VKB0NdN
【額外小插曲】906Please respect copyright.PENANAiHb8j3xa7S
906Please respect copyright.PENANACcUGhzLS4C
906Please respect copyright.PENANAy43HfZ1gGU
當克叔跟天使來到一個名叫「地府」的地方簽了工作契約,就震愕地掉了下巴。906Please respect copyright.PENANAN6Htaf0SZR
906Please respect copyright.PENANAPy6X8uxKaB
Holy shit!這一身黑的陰沈小鬼是誰?還他原本漂亮可愛的天使來!906Please respect copyright.PENANAXzhSDZIJ2o
906Please respect copyright.PENANAhX0vnU6UGA
「呵呵,這可是只有成為地府員工才能得知的真相喔。」906Please respect copyright.PENANA0Bh4ax2MQb
906Please respect copyright.PENANAxMx5fsuA8p
「……」906Please respect copyright.PENANAoP8yQJ1Una
906Please respect copyright.PENANAqxunWWaOZW
聽說這小混蛋叫董什麼還是七什麼是吧?可以揍嗎?(╬ ̄皿 ̄)906Please respect copyright.PENANAtBMGhsTIFs
906Please respect copyright.PENANAvzKKHvJZpp
「等等!」他望著半張臉都被瀏海遮住的新上司,凝重問:「當偵察員有什麼條件?」906Please respect copyright.PENANAdX4aVwMXbC
906Please respect copyright.PENANATgU3yaew6u
「沒條件,我們地府徵才不看學歷免文憑,樂於培養新人,加油,我看好你。」906Please respect copyright.PENANASrGAtUTNH1
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對方講得斬釘截鐵,他也聽得心花怒放——喔耶!不用讀書太好惹~ヽ( ° ▽°)ノ906Please respect copyright.PENANAFr7EppmWAF
906Please respect copyright.PENANAO51zKcauDM
於是,偵察員培訓基地的第一堂課,老師開口就是:「首先,我們來瞭解一下東方的靈能界歷史,很重要,考試會考。好,請翻到課本第三頁,自開天闢地之初……」906Please respect copyright.PENANAIZ87EXHEQR
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菜鳥偵察後備兵克叔,再次對著課本流下兩行清淚。906Please respect copyright.PENANAHkcSOYtCKB
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「幹!又騙我!〒△〒」906Please respect copyright.PENANAcC6Ps8PuBP
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負責招才的董小七顆顆笑。906Please respect copyright.PENANAgGMwyc8Kti
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
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後記:
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克叔真的最討厭讀書啦~XDDDD906Please respect copyright.PENANAVwjF6LhQcQ
906Please respect copyright.PENANA0n845BJN4e
本篇文案->>>大叔被騙失身(?)哭得不要不要~AwA906Please respect copyright.PENANAOgb7a54nSm
超貼切的有木有?XDDD(被揍#906Please respect copyright.PENANAQy0YIZFgyj
906Please respect copyright.PENANAgR5JMlzlUT
最初設計克叔這個角色,只有"打過二戰的美國特種兵,性格粗暴"而已。906Please respect copyright.PENANAuLNeWU6HVZ
後來翻修時,重新深入審視角色背景,查了很多1909~1944年的美國歷史,發現克叔應當還經歷過一戰與經濟大蕭條,那三十幾年不只是世界的大動盪,他所生長的德州也有不少轉變,就腦補了很多他的成長史,終於今天有機會寫出來了>w<906Please respect copyright.PENANAAdPtJtBweo
906Please respect copyright.PENANAW7nqeyisFB
克叔這個人,可以說是最典型的硬漢子吧。粗蠻好武,沒什麼文化,壞習慣也多,大男人主義,甚至有點沙文豬,但不是不尊重輕蔑女性的那種,而是覺得男人就該強壯到能保護身邊所有人,因此他特別吐槽愛看言情劇的董小七是花痴蘿莉腦XDDDD906Please respect copyright.PENANAP2LLM5M03N
但也因此責任感很重,重義氣,更重感情,也非常愛家,所以硬漢有顆柔軟的內心……外硬內軟什麼的~AwA(污#906Please respect copyright.PENANAnNn0Ei5QaR
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之所以突然寫這篇,是我在修第三部時,修到他被吐槽歷史沒讀好,一時興起想寫個小劇場,寫著寫著,就乾脆寫一篇正式的,也交代了下他初戀與初次婚姻未果的辛酸。畢竟其他角色的過去都在正文裡提到了,反而沒怎麼提到克叔的,就順道補齊吧~XD
906Please respect copyright.PENANAk7smFUOC7B
【下篇預告】《誅魔(三)》: 字數約三千多字,預計禮拜五發。906Please respect copyright.PENANAdBzxs6N5Al
如果各位看得還滿意的話,歡迎請在留言板踩個腳印喔。♥906Please respect copyright.PENANAGmjpMRNyr5
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★【靈能偵察N部曲】906Please respect copyright.PENANA83dxvYK1jB
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第一部:在結束時開始906Please respect copyright.PENANAEKLQFGDQPc
第二部:渡入魔途906Please respect copyright.PENANAUxxagnsRgy
第三部:暗境重生906Please respect copyright.PENANA98aXErDjve
外傳、後傳……陸續中(#906Please respect copyright.PENANAYSc09YP6X8
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也歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<906Please respect copyright.PENANAfBXB2yUXf2
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FB:https://www.facebook.com/miaobell906Please respect copyright.PENANA4dglfpoJWg
微博:http://weibo.com/meowbark47906Please respect copyright.PENANAY3r9DkO6dl
噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde906Please respect copyright.PENANAME51fekEW2
IG:https://www.instagram.com/meowbarksky
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by 喵芭渴死姬 / 初版:09.02.2014 / 二版:03.28.2018