當克叔還是個青春少年郎時,也曾經非常中二,長得比同齡男孩人高馬大不說,還特別精力旺盛,每天除了勾搭鎮上漂亮的妹子,就是有打不完的架,最愛跟好哥們揪團把所有情敵都揍成豬頭,也最怕上課,什麼文學歷史通通都是打瞌睡的好伙伴。935Please respect copyright.PENANAk18nnqUoKJ
935Please respect copyright.PENANAXGNKqAAr7c
學業成績?在那個年代,書讀不好也不是天大的事,有手有腳會做事就好。拜登家本就有塊祖上傳下來的地,家裡也不止他一個兒子能幫忙趕牛餵馬收農,因此拜登老爹也不管這熊孩子了,愛幹啥幹啥去,他們南方的漢子就是要自己闖出一片天。935Please respect copyright.PENANAuLNJGchYOX
935Please respect copyright.PENANAL9ImDhkAKt
於是,初中畢業後,他一收到軍校招生簡章,就立馬歡樂地去報名,憑著天生的優秀體能考進去,從此為國為民,拋頭顱灑熱血,豪氣干雲,Man力突破天際!935Please respect copyright.PENANA7KO0l9vr9D
935Please respect copyright.PENANAF8ZanjvcJf
才十五歲就立志從軍的小克叔,真是相當有抱負,雖然初衷有點不太一樣——935Please respect copyright.PENANAz6IyIJMOkb
935Please respect copyright.PENANAGJAwYQYGAZ
「耶嘿,再也不用讀書囉,天天打架最棒惹!ヽ( ° ▽°)ノ」935Please respect copyright.PENANAwqCGqETyxY
935Please respect copyright.PENANAbaQhcxb5JY
然而,理想是豐滿的,現實卻是骨感的,軍校不僅不准學生打架,還不希望學生成為一群無腦的武夫,於是,小克叔每到考核時期,都默默對著課本流下兩行清淚。935Please respect copyright.PENANAr4ldZcJufD
935Please respect copyright.PENANAgzkdoyNhjj
「幹!是哪個混蛋騙我當兵不用讀書的?〒△〒」935Please respect copyright.PENANAWQLNx09UZO
935Please respect copyright.PENANA5Cxhvin0dh
負責招生的軍官顆顆笑。935Please respect copyright.PENANAQmm0MKtwVa
935Please respect copyright.PENANAeaBl0mOluk
從早到晚的魔鬼操練,消磨了少年郎的血氣方剛,心性也稍微沈穩了些,模樣也越發俊朗了,終於,十八歲那年,他穿著英挺的軍服回到老家,當即就把曖昧多年的鎮花給迷得不要不要的,立馬一腳踹開所有追求者,欣然答應求婚。935Please respect copyright.PENANAjrB3alXWZQ
935Please respect copyright.PENANAkTfBc1J3Lk
春風得意的小克叔摟著漂亮未婚妻,朝不甘心的情敵們齜了齜牙,「想幹架?」935Please respect copyright.PENANAwZ7IYs0i2v
935Please respect copyright.PENANA9tr3OF0wyz
情敵們想起天天被揍成豬頭的不堪往事,再看看小克叔越發孔武有力的體格,只好各自回家哭哭,其中一位追求鎮花最久差點成功的黑髮小子更是大受刺激,決定化情傷為動力,收拾包袱外出闖蕩,誓要幹出一番大事業衣錦還鄉。935Please respect copyright.PENANAzxOEbzQoCJ
935Please respect copyright.PENANASrtWhPcMoW
鎮花是標準的南方美女,胸大腰細翹臀,性格爽朗,父親經商,家境也好,跟地主拜登家也算門當戶對,兩人的婚約可說是人人稱羨。935Please respect copyright.PENANAMn3LJBzTtU
935Please respect copyright.PENANAMt6wMM9BL0
可惜,好景不常,軍人是沒有自由的,光是操練和任務就佔去大半時間,能留給戀愛的時間並不多,好在鎮花並非等不及,將婚期訂在兩年後,屆時克里斯的軍階較穩了,就能申請調到離家較近的基地,只要不出任務,兩夫妻隨時都能相聚。935Please respect copyright.PENANAfD2AOfSEwc
935Please respect copyright.PENANAQRKmE2ClCe
誰知,兩年後,美國經濟大蕭條,所有產業受到嚴重打擊,工廠一家家倒閉,公司也一間間破產,所有人都失業,全國民生跌落谷底,連遠在南方的德州也不例外,就算是地主,種的東西賣不出去,一樣陷入困境。935Please respect copyright.PENANAFEhzkIGfpA
935Please respect copyright.PENANABf1XcQrqgB
那是美國最黑暗的時期,人人窮困潦倒,處處可見瘋狂搶奪餿食的景況,曾有老婦在回憶這段往事時,說她為了能吃下長蛆的肉,不得不拔掉眼鏡,眼不見為淨。935Please respect copyright.PENANAvCWIPOWTR3
935Please respect copyright.PENANALftjiMAviK
拜登家和鎮花的家人本來還指望克里斯當兵的錢能幫上忙,誰知道政府更窮,發不出軍人的薪餉不說,還加重他們的任務,必須到各地去維護秩序鎮壓暴民。935Please respect copyright.PENANALpSrjIzwaU
935Please respect copyright.PENANAvP7yya6vmc
有天,一封信寄到克里斯的基地,是未婚妻沾了淚跡的滿滿歉語。935Please respect copyright.PENANAWVbo6WT841
935Please respect copyright.PENANABrRrkShoCo
原來,當初外出闖蕩的黑髮小子,真的挖到一塊油田發達了,得知他們還沒有舉行婚禮,就匆匆趕回來重新追求鎮花,並承諾會讓她的家人也過上好日子。935Please respect copyright.PENANAoZsGHDg0Nm
935Please respect copyright.PENANAzAoWmNWCwD
克里斯沈默了很久,最後小心翼翼地收起信,夾緊腋下的柺杖,一瘸一瘸走回房間,身上纏著滲血的紗布,理應高大的身影竟消瘦了許多。935Please respect copyright.PENANAH3MT4v4kEa
935Please respect copyright.PENANAWllSzZucDz
那個另嫁他人的女孩,不知道自己的前未婚夫在出任務時,因體力不支,不小心中了流彈,差點沒命,吊著一口氣在病床上躺了好幾天,這才醒過來。935Please respect copyright.PENANATmqQFGCfHo
935Please respect copyright.PENANAw1uoDc8F9u
為了省下上頭發派的乾糧物資,好偷偷寄給家人和心愛的未婚妻,克里斯一直都省著不用,餓昏了才吃一小口裹腹。沒錢又回不了家,這是他唯一能想出照顧家人和愛人的方法,但顯然地,他失敗了。935Please respect copyright.PENANAaz1y4ixlLL
935Please respect copyright.PENANAJulHo1t74R
第一次嚐到心傷的滋味,讓曾有的張狂徹底消失。沒有好的資本,就別妄想留住身邊的人——在逐步迎向戰爭的那幾年裡,他越來越體會這個道理,心性也真正地沈穩了。935Please respect copyright.PENANAs6ZxA7Gdh3
935Please respect copyright.PENANAftB6Vz6BqO
三年後,新政策推出,美國終於漸漸走出蕭條,克里斯仍在軍隊奮戰。腦袋啃不了書的他,階級爬得比會讀書考試的人慢,但敢吃苦,有膽識,身手又好,漸漸地,他受到上級的賞識,被調到更具挑戰性、薪資也更高的部隊,慢慢擁有自己的一隻小隊。935Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6tpw6E2lg
935Please respect copyright.PENANAvYdmTNGqux
閒暇時,他會跟大家去酒吧找漂亮的妞兒說笑,也會看脫衣秀,再把發酒瘋的隊友揍暈扛回基地。軍隊裡,跟當地女孩一夜情的事屢見不鮮,不少對他有好感的女孩也時有暗示,但他不愛糟蹋人,也不想在穩定下來前有不清不楚的糾葛,便一律裝沒聽懂。935Please respect copyright.PENANApgtv009imb
935Please respect copyright.PENANAe25uqNvXqA
他的父母很恩愛,即使老媽身材變形得厲害,老爹也天天抱著腫如豬的妻子,口口聲聲地喊:「小甜心。」窮困落沒後,兩夫妻天天為生計吵得不可開交,卻始終沒肯離開彼此,老爹病倒時,老媽終日守在床邊照顧,直到老爹去世,也不曾說出一個苦字。935Please respect copyright.PENANAUEmMuONsDy
935Please respect copyright.PENANAjPU5JiE1LX
這樣始終如一的感情,才是他想要的。935Please respect copyright.PENANADzQu3HYtOT
935Please respect copyright.PENANAp3qZkHdy4O
後來珍珠港事變,美國宣布參與二戰,他告別家人,離開故土,踏上征途。935Please respect copyright.PENANAjkRAP2LfgU
935Please respect copyright.PENANA1FFoVBvqPM
已經三十二歲的他,依然光棍一枚,經歷過風光快活的日子,也走過落魄病苦的低潮,看過無數同袍的生死傷殘,也體驗了家人逝去的哀傷,比起來,那段讓他關在房裡傻哭的情傷,反而在記憶中淡薄了許多。935Please respect copyright.PENANAch6nWrVOsG
935Please respect copyright.PENANAICGHuvnryf
在世界戰場廝殺的那三年,是最艱險的日子,也漸漸察覺到軍事政治的骯髒,讓他曾為美國聲稱捍衛正義的宣言而沸騰的熱血冷卻下來,但他始終記得老爹的告誡。935Please respect copyright.PENANAAg6RPVwe2T
935Please respect copyright.PENANAoHUYA2iAxm
「兒子,不論環境把我們逼到什麼境地,我們都要問心無愧。」935Please respect copyright.PENANAHWEJ9mq0v6
935Please respect copyright.PENANA1systMmNIu
在大蕭條的那段黑暗期,他曾想過鋌而走險,幹些高利潤的違法勾當,就被他老爹在書信中當頭棒喝罵醒。從此,一句「問心無愧」成了他最堅定的信仰。935Please respect copyright.PENANAeggnDcrlqr
935Please respect copyright.PENANAEeDPNmh3Ir
最後,他戰死在南太平洋的一個小島上,渾身彈孔,慘不忍睹,但至少他安全送走了其他隊友,他想殉職軍人的撫卹金應該夠老媽養老吧,希望她老人家別太傷心。935Please respect copyright.PENANAXSloMoxpk6
935Please respect copyright.PENANARMFYbaSSX6
再然後,他一睜眼,就見到了天使,金髮碧眼,美麗聖潔得教人移不開視線。935Please respect copyright.PENANALOH8kVNDTL
935Please respect copyright.PENANAkENmyZqzr2
「如果我給你新的人生、新的使命,你願意跟我走嗎?」935Please respect copyright.PENANASxhLTjh55A
935Please respect copyright.PENANACfVDbfWXlf
「跟天使走,我這算是上天堂了?」935Please respect copyright.PENANA173PAyidfs
935Please respect copyright.PENANAby4jZovenD
「算是吧。」935Please respect copyright.PENANAAJQMz8AJu5
935Please respect copyright.PENANAUwXDIHVFbN
果然信老爹的話准沒錯,只要問心無愧,總會遇到光明!935Please respect copyright.PENANAm98WXksiee
935Please respect copyright.PENANABHD3ImfJTt
他握住天使伸出的手站起身,回頭看了眼自己的死狀,忍不住放聲大笑。935Please respect copyright.PENANApCGwPNHKSC
935Please respect copyright.PENANAjFjqYMxVAm
有人說,人在死前,會在腦海閃過這一生所有的重要回憶,但他倒地的那一刻,想起的卻是老爹吃著老媽做的肉醬湯邊喊小甜心的肉麻畫面。935Please respect copyright.PENANAKptAEjHcKj
935Please respect copyright.PENANAV8mbHeyuyL
大概是自己死得像一團肉醬的緣故吧?╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭935Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8mv0za7WL
935Please respect copyright.PENANATk3bXZzWYZ
許多年後,半途出家的克里斯,雖然只有中等資質的靈力,卻憑著比多數靈能者還敏捷的身手及豐富的作戰經驗,熬出了頭,升上高階偵察員,再次擁有自己的一個小隊:一位自帶家僕的老古板、一位猥瑣中二的科技宅、一位帶著拖油瓶的年輕媽媽,還有總在他身邊神出鬼沒的董小七——那個他誤以為是天使的閻王之子。935Please respect copyright.PENANANPQj5RoqNu
935Please respect copyright.PENANACpiwTXm1Ip
有小孩的地方總是熱鬧,特別是當那個拖油瓶疑似有過動症時,簡直比打仗還教他頭痛,偏偏又揍不得,至少不能明目張膽地揍,因為老古板很疼猴死囝仔,而且孩子的媽實在長得正!是個男人都不希望隊裡的美女跑了,追不到留著賞心悅目也好。935Please respect copyright.PENANAu3Jkx01n6o
935Please respect copyright.PENANAmuy9NOxBtT
克里斯不否認自己對葉迦娜是有那麼些好感,活潑單純的可愛女子誰不喜歡?但對方心裡就只有孩子死去的爹,自己也不再是莽撞的追愛小子,所以那份喜歡就轉為兄妹之情,盡心照顧這少根筋的傻妹子,把老惹他生氣的皮小鬼當兒子,連帶兒子的黑奶爸也一併列入保護範圍——或者該說,他早已習慣將大家都放在身後保護了。935Please respect copyright.PENANAjFm6PLAoaA
935Please respect copyright.PENANA63IYhTKQge
只有董小七一直堅持站在身邊,讓他時不時都要抓上一把往後拉。935Please respect copyright.PENANAXmVuX54lJR
935Please respect copyright.PENANA66EIUTOKPV
後來傻妹妹去世了,死小孩長大了,還跟老古板談戀愛了——混蛋兒子居然愛上了等同養父之一的老黑!這對他一個生長在天主教家庭的直男來說,簡直是三觀俱毀!935Please respect copyright.PENANAV2zRrRA0Wm
935Please respect copyright.PENANAMScbpDR79M
「呵呵,你們西方的上帝之外還有其他同等地位的神,路西法其實是西方天界下派歐美地府的閻王天使,而不是聖經大魔王,這些真相難道還不夠毀你三觀嗎?」935Please respect copyright.PENANAidouppevoJ
935Please respect copyright.PENANAVL2YhehIcp
「……」935Please respect copyright.PENANAzLqFMjZcGl
935Please respect copyright.PENANAaTKAzmVHSC
好吧,董小七的安慰還挺有用的。935Please respect copyright.PENANAOafRxK0jnZ
935Please respect copyright.PENANAxL0HGFSrri
從此,克里斯天天窩在沙發上,看猴死囝仔纏著老古板肉麻秀恩愛,好似又回到美國南方小鎮的家裡,他依然是那手捧大碗公喝湯聽老爹喊老媽小甜心的中二少年。935Please respect copyright.PENANAVROp1kZqC6
935Please respect copyright.PENANA1rjHNswkOl
或許,教出葉育這麼噁心肉麻死小孩的自己,也是個噁心肉麻的人吧,何時他也能找個老婆生一堆中二屁孩子,然後天天摟著中年發福的老婆喊甜心?935Please respect copyright.PENANAWovrXCR0F5
935Please respect copyright.PENANAhkvfge0y8o
這個想法不斷在心底發酵,直到他遇見了薇安。935Please respect copyright.PENANAQSwo3pH9wF
935Please respect copyright.PENANA045HaElfKc
935Please respect copyright.PENANAVZjzqkNZth
德國的雪呼嘯拍過玻璃,悶熱的暖氣吹得人口乾舌燥,卻是他們自發現咒殺以來的難得清閒。沒有魔女的糾纏不休,沒有尤爾陷入幻覺的異常,沒有老黑成天的愁雲慘霧,彷彿他們只是單純被風雪耽擱行程的觀光旅客。935Please respect copyright.PENANAJyQzOyuPzi
935Please respect copyright.PENANAglySvy9ATh
這夜,克里斯突然醒來,感覺自己做了一個很長的夢,夢裡有他已成歷史的青春年少,也有他成為偵察員後的種種,有槍聲炮彈,有課堂碎念,還有一家子的吵吵鬧鬧,也有自己硬往肚吞的血淚,人生起伏,悲歡離合,生死相隔,盡濃縮其中。935Please respect copyright.PENANA9zEkgBmlka
935Please respect copyright.PENANAiVT7UekWkT
他怔然發了會呆,待那飄逐過往的意識終於回籠,才翻身一撈,抱住睡在一旁的董小七。這彷彿融入血液化為本能意識的動作,早已是他改不掉的習慣,因為他身邊總有個小腦不平衡的小面癱,讓他不得不隨時拉上一把。935Please respect copyright.PENANAHeHpt9M3ei
935Please respect copyright.PENANASDT9Fplp1w
在董司常刻意避開他的那幾年,他始終覺得生活少了什麼。薇安是他的摯愛,這毋庸置疑,但當一個曾終日圍在身邊的人突然消失了,雖不至於傷心難過,卻也難免懷念。935Please respect copyright.PENANAyEnUvih7gH
935Please respect copyright.PENANA2mQNisS5L5
摸了把懷裡比女孩還硬梆梆的身子,又親一口董小七萬年癱的臉蛋,克里斯忍不住笑了笑,收緊環抱戀人的手臂,偷偷在心底學老爹喊了句「小甜心」,滿足地閉上眼。935Please respect copyright.PENANAnRJJlyuqBB
935Please respect copyright.PENANARZtyuPfuBV
這樣,很好。935Please respect copyright.PENANAut7sqNYr3h
935Please respect copyright.PENANA98DGLa2BH4
935Please respect copyright.PENANAsCD1JWbKgG
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆935Please respect copyright.PENANAJliXAPaU0C
935Please respect copyright.PENANAAXAoVBSbgN
935Please respect copyright.PENANAiymnHccp8b
【額外小插曲】935Please respect copyright.PENANANLs6Wy432k
935Please respect copyright.PENANAzZTXTJFKQd
935Please respect copyright.PENANAiZD4CDQXzR
當克叔跟天使來到一個名叫「地府」的地方簽了工作契約,就震愕地掉了下巴。935Please respect copyright.PENANAfxgIWRMusR
935Please respect copyright.PENANAzRMsqZili0
Holy shit!這一身黑的陰沈小鬼是誰?還他原本漂亮可愛的天使來!935Please respect copyright.PENANAWCH3U2YPhV
935Please respect copyright.PENANAgPzzGNJk5M
「呵呵,這可是只有成為地府員工才能得知的真相喔。」935Please respect copyright.PENANAzBijy1NeS8
935Please respect copyright.PENANAiTCsbLTSOZ
「……」935Please respect copyright.PENANAa22XNp3SH7
935Please respect copyright.PENANAOeb3lbhJiy
聽說這小混蛋叫董什麼還是七什麼是吧?可以揍嗎?(╬ ̄皿 ̄)935Please respect copyright.PENANABjtA4OeZ7V
935Please respect copyright.PENANAz17YiSza2w
「等等!」他望著半張臉都被瀏海遮住的新上司,凝重問:「當偵察員有什麼條件?」935Please respect copyright.PENANAFMABliHnIk
935Please respect copyright.PENANARoNjYBTHyQ
「沒條件,我們地府徵才不看學歷免文憑,樂於培養新人,加油,我看好你。」935Please respect copyright.PENANA4YS0GzOHT7
935Please respect copyright.PENANApAADTdrWXX
對方講得斬釘截鐵,他也聽得心花怒放——喔耶!不用讀書太好惹~ヽ( ° ▽°)ノ935Please respect copyright.PENANAU7NlhgYOTV
935Please respect copyright.PENANAivyVb1qSvR
於是,偵察員培訓基地的第一堂課,老師開口就是:「首先,我們來瞭解一下東方的靈能界歷史,很重要,考試會考。好,請翻到課本第三頁,自開天闢地之初……」935Please respect copyright.PENANAz4MCSy2vyt
935Please respect copyright.PENANASpqrGUPDxE
菜鳥偵察後備兵克叔,再次對著課本流下兩行清淚。935Please respect copyright.PENANAIjFKhVgfOC
935Please respect copyright.PENANAKgIZSwDuR9
「幹!又騙我!〒△〒」935Please respect copyright.PENANAmSQHAaZb8C
935Please respect copyright.PENANA6QRdeQZtMS
負責招才的董小七顆顆笑。935Please respect copyright.PENANAD8sGAeJnAA
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
935Please respect copyright.PENANA6CKm4oDS74
後記:
935Please respect copyright.PENANA1BShgdrXQf
克叔真的最討厭讀書啦~XDDDD935Please respect copyright.PENANAOHXRC9R7aH
935Please respect copyright.PENANARFfLYn3umf
本篇文案->>>大叔被騙失身(?)哭得不要不要~AwA935Please respect copyright.PENANABFnUEjie7K
超貼切的有木有?XDDD(被揍#935Please respect copyright.PENANADsxFV63cZQ
935Please respect copyright.PENANACQUJSjMDdE
最初設計克叔這個角色,只有"打過二戰的美國特種兵,性格粗暴"而已。935Please respect copyright.PENANAHWdAAFbUpH
後來翻修時,重新深入審視角色背景,查了很多1909~1944年的美國歷史,發現克叔應當還經歷過一戰與經濟大蕭條,那三十幾年不只是世界的大動盪,他所生長的德州也有不少轉變,就腦補了很多他的成長史,終於今天有機會寫出來了>w<935Please respect copyright.PENANAgkloJOl7u6
935Please respect copyright.PENANADda2TayXpz
克叔這個人,可以說是最典型的硬漢子吧。粗蠻好武,沒什麼文化,壞習慣也多,大男人主義,甚至有點沙文豬,但不是不尊重輕蔑女性的那種,而是覺得男人就該強壯到能保護身邊所有人,因此他特別吐槽愛看言情劇的董小七是花痴蘿莉腦XDDDD935Please respect copyright.PENANAZELBaSil8b
但也因此責任感很重,重義氣,更重感情,也非常愛家,所以硬漢有顆柔軟的內心……外硬內軟什麼的~AwA(污#935Please respect copyright.PENANAWqtWqc3FQ2
935Please respect copyright.PENANA1we8yTeLcC
之所以突然寫這篇,是我在修第三部時,修到他被吐槽歷史沒讀好,一時興起想寫個小劇場,寫著寫著,就乾脆寫一篇正式的,也交代了下他初戀與初次婚姻未果的辛酸。畢竟其他角色的過去都在正文裡提到了,反而沒怎麼提到克叔的,就順道補齊吧~XD
935Please respect copyright.PENANAkoob8oTpiZ
【下篇預告】《誅魔(三)》: 字數約三千多字,預計禮拜五發。935Please respect copyright.PENANA0T35whFeBq
如果各位看得還滿意的話,歡迎請在留言板踩個腳印喔。♥935Please respect copyright.PENANAwqhWCaEHs2
935Please respect copyright.PENANA5KRGhQfIRR
935Please respect copyright.PENANARRZJy98Wp1
★【靈能偵察N部曲】935Please respect copyright.PENANAX4RzYAjncn
935Please respect copyright.PENANAql0M8EsyzG
第一部:在結束時開始935Please respect copyright.PENANAikxM7KcShO
第二部:渡入魔途935Please respect copyright.PENANAWit8LXZHzW
第三部:暗境重生935Please respect copyright.PENANAZ72aGW1c2o
外傳、後傳……陸續中(#935Please respect copyright.PENANAVC9lfls5QI
935Please respect copyright.PENANA7Dj7o6TqbU
935Please respect copyright.PENANAlRYuVP9uzz
也歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<935Please respect copyright.PENANAc8gnnsKckn
935Please respect copyright.PENANAivbVEBqigo
FB:https://www.facebook.com/miaobell935Please respect copyright.PENANABUD72C4IXn
微博:http://weibo.com/meowbark47935Please respect copyright.PENANAF8w7wib9qO
噗浪:http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde935Please respect copyright.PENANAHoW3ftT39J
IG:https://www.instagram.com/meowbarksky
935Please respect copyright.PENANAU4UpiqCyDF
by 喵芭渴死姬 / 初版:09.02.2014 / 二版:03.28.2018