Dear former bullies,608Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJSHbLTXWD
I'm sorry that I never fit into your world, that i didn't conform to your beliefs. I'm sorry that I do have mental disabilitys that make me different from what you considered to be normal.
Was that a reason to push me against the locker? Did that make it ok to tease me because I didn't know the answer to the math problem on the board? Did taking special ed. classes really make me retarded? When did being autistic begin to mean the same thing as freak? I never meant to go into a flashback at school, but when everyone was yelling, it took me back to a scary time in my mind. I didn't mean to make my abuse I suffered know, but did that give you a right to call me a whore? 608Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGSkxT28SW
You never gave me a chance at all, if we are being honest. You saw the boy who said nothing, who covered his ears when the noise became too loud, and who only communicated with sign language. I was mute by choice, not deaf. I heard every hurtful word you said.
But did you know that every time you hit me, my mind flashed back to the abuse I had only just escaped. Did you know I carved lines in my skin, one for every hateful word that you called me? Did you know that I wanted so badly for someone to understand, but you wouldn't even try?
I heard the things you called me, the hateful words you spoke. I heard you comment about how much of a pig I was. But did you know I puked up over half of what I ate? I heard you laugh about how I refused to dress out for gym class, and how I wore long sleeves and jeans even on the hottest day. Did you know that I was hiding the scars from abuse, and from the cuts I inflicted on myself when i tried to feel something.
You never cared, or gave me a chance, and to this day I still wonder why. You didn't have to like me, but did you have to mistreat me? Was it necessary to shove me against the locker? Did you have to tease me when my older brother had to be called to calm me after a meltdown? Why couldn't you just leave me alone? I knew I was stupid, but did you have to rub it in? Are you happy now that I dropped out? 608Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiC63yQ3FH
I could go on, but what would be the point, you wouldn't care anymore than you did in the past. I was nothing to you, and you let me know that in your eyes I was worthless. I still don't understand why, and that hurts me, but I'm learning to pretend it doesn't bother me, even if it really does.
Sincerely,
the freak, weirddo, dumbass, retard, whore, or any of the other names you chose to throw at me.
608Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDuRhukDYO
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