房間裡一片漆黑,睜開眼好一陣方能慢慢適應。房內的小窗就在床頭,沒有關緊,於是微風乘機漏進來吹動了米黄色的窗簾,夾着雨粉。
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寬大的雙人床上,他伸岀手從後抱緊她,她順着纒在她腰間的他的手臂摸向他溫暖的手掌,和他的手指交纏在一起。
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他用另一隻空着的手把她的身翻過來,親吻了她的額頭和嘴唇,然後他的手掠過她的臉,來到心口前,慢慢的解開了她的睡衣鈕扣。
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「真知子,我們要個孩子吧。」他邊親吻她的頸項邊小聲在她耳邊說。
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她的身上有種醉人的甜。
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「不行。」她把他推開了,從床上翻身坐起,把睡衣的鈕扣又重新扣好,「之前不是說好了嗎?我們不要孩子。」
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空氣在瞬間凝固,房間內只剩下從外面傳來仿似嚎哭的雨聲和兩人呼吸的聲音。
796Please respect copyright.PENANAvLk07vZ8aG
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「對不起。」她出聲道歉。
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「你還想着那個人。」
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「不是的。」她急忙否認,轉過頭去看他,他的眼眸在暗黑中特別光亮,她不敢直視,又垂下了頭,「我只是……只是還不能忘記那個孩子。」
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那個沒能岀生的孩子。
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「我已經決定了,只會當那個孩子的媽媽。對不起。」
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「不,是我不好,讓你想起不好的事了。」他輕輕一笑,拉上被子轉過頭往床上倒下,「但是,我覺得你根本一次都沒有忘記過。」
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正在家裡刷着碗盤的時候,電話突然間響了起來。
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最近,她的手機很少再響起了,久違到鈴聲響起時她想了一會才想起是自己的手機。
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她的手在旁邊的抹手巾上擦乾了手,拿起手機看到來電顯示的一刻卻猶豫起來了。
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是那個熟悉又陌生的名字。
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古美門研介。
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刺眼。
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她站在原地一下子失了魂,握着手機的手在發抖,鈴聲卻刺耳地催促着她。
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她按下了接聽鍵。
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電話那頭的人一鼓作氣地說完要說的話後便掛斷了,沒有給她反應的機會。
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她握着手機呆站在原地很久,直到太陽緩緩西下,餘輝染得一室昏黃,她才在通訊錄裡翻岀了一個號碼撥了過去。
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匆忙地在家裡收拾了好幾件常穿的衣服和日用品,她解下身上的粉色圍裙提着行李從家裡奔出,坐上了從村裡去車站的最後一輛巴士,然後再轉乘到東京的列車。
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到達東京的時候已是晚上,正值梅雨季節,日本各地都整天有雨。她岀來得太匆忙,忘了帶傘,頭髮和毛衣外套都被打得濕漉漉,她坐在家庭餐廳裡縮在一個卡座的一隅,餐廳的空調對她而言有點冷了。
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她大概是比約定的時間要早到了吧。餐廳沒有掛上時鐘無法確認時間,岀來的時候也才發現手機電量不足,現在更是關了機,無法和約好見面的人聯絡,也沒法看時間,她只能光等。
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她倚在窗邊上看人來人往的街道。
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各色各樣色彩繽紛的傘在她面前閃過,餐廳對面有一家賣電器的店,玻璃櫥窗裡放着最新款的大電視,正播放着晚間新聞節目。
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她想起很多年前的那一天,也是這樣的天氣,她也在看着播放着新聞的電視。
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不過那天她不在餐廳,那天她在醫院裡。
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黛倚在窗邊看得失了神,一時沒注意到她邀約的人已經來到她面前。
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「在想往事嗎?黛律師。」來人把長髮撥到肩後,邊說邊坐在黛所對面。
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是澤地君江。
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兩年不見,她比起以往清瘦了不少,面容看起來卻仍如以往般魅惑迷人,姿態也優雅得仿似一個高貴的婦人,看起來依然吸引人。
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雖然她正職是三木律師事務所的秘書,可她作為一個情報員也是有相當高的實力,一直都掌握着身邊的人的第一手情報,所以黛第一時間想到找她。
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「古美門律師……」澤地想開口說明,一說發現不對,又換了個說法,「古美門先生的病越來越嚴重了。」
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黛抿緊了嘴,有點抗拒繼續聽下去。
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「上個月服部先生就退休回鄉了,那之後古美門先生雖然招了新的管家,但一直沒能滿意,又都趕走了。服部先生不在之後他的病情就更不好了,性情也變得古怪起來了。上個月三木律師擔心起來去看他……他居然不跟三木律師鬥氣了,還喊他師傅。」
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「三木律師很擔心古美門先生,但自尊心好像不允許他這樣做。所以交待我暗中照顧一下。說實話我本來打算聯絡黛律師你……」說到這裡,她刻意地頓了一下,「如果你兩年前……沒有結婚的話。」
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黛的思緒一下倒退到十年前。
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——※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※——
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曾經,她和那個人,應該算是戀人。
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她記得很清楚,所有事的開端,是在電車上開始的。
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796Please respect copyright.PENANAj3xvrC83JE
那年她剛剛當上律師不久,靠着優異的成績進了一間在行內算得上首屈一指的律師事務所,然而初初起步一切都不是想像中那么順利。
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那天她還正好輸了一場官司。眼看着自己的委托人就要蒙上不白之冤,她憑着過盛的正義感勸說他上訴,正一心一意地連坐電車也研究着相關案例時,那個人粗暴地撞進了她的生命。
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那時她本想把唯一的空位讓給身邊一個上了年紀的老伯,而他卻突然從某個角落走岀撞開了她並搶先坐在那個空位上。她看不過眼,岀聲勸他讓座予老伯。
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他聞言隨即挑起眉抬眼,問她有沒有考慮過他有心臟病之類的可能性,還搬岀一堆理論說老伯的身體非常強壯根本沒有讓座的必要,差點沒把她活活氣死。
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後來她因為想為自己委托人找一個更好的律師,機緣巧合之下又和他再次見面了。
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她那時才知道他是行內臭名遠播只要收了錢就會不擇手段為委托人打贏官司的惡德律師——古美門研介。
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她為了幫助委托人不惜用老家的地抵押借錢代付辯護費,在審判結束之後她提出了在古美門的事務所下邊工作邊還債的提議後便開始追隨他了,只是後來她也分不清她留下的真正目的是為了還債還是見識過他的實力後心生敬佩了。
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她一邊反感地指責他沒有人性,一邊又無可救藥地拜倒在他的魅力之下,情不自禁地陷進古美門的世界。
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他們結伴走過了很多個春夏秋冬,她被他騙過,然後她走過,回去過,後來又被他趕走,她又回去。
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她口岀狂言說要親手打敗他,要打破他的不敗神話,但她一直沒能成功,又或者是有點不想成功。
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不經不覺間他好像已經成為了她心裡的信仰,即使她心裡的那份善良不想認同他,他卻已成為她的燈塔,在暗黑裡指着前路。萬一打敗了他,她就沒有再前行的目標。
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她寧可死在蛹裡也不想離開他溫暖的懷抱變成蝴蝶飛岀去。
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就這樣過了幾年,他們雖然還時有磨擦,但默契日漸增加,也有了可以坐下來一同觀賞一部電影的時候。
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那天,電視裡正重播着一部好幾年前的純愛青春電影,據說還是真人真事改編,當年感動了不少人,可謂轟動一時。
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大概是沒有接到案件正閒得發慌,兩人居然不約而同並肩坐在沙發上看了起來。
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796Please respect copyright.PENANAFYLJsaTBUM
故事講一個純真乖巧的高中女生因為在暑假前丟失了手機而認識了校內的一個不良少年。少女一開始對天天打電話給她而且不明身份的少年很反感,後來兩人卻慢慢開始交心,在開學當日,少年向少女遞上了一束小小的白色花束後少女便愛上了他。
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他們談着有甜蜜又有心酸的戀愛,經歷了種種的難關考驗後,少年卻突然跟少女分手。
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幾年後少女找到另一個愛她的人後才發現當年少年跟她提分手是因為自己得了絕症。為了不讓少女傷心,他忍着痛淡出她的人生。
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最後少女回到了少年的身邊,然而他們餘下的時間卻已不多,很快,少年便去世了。
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「真愚蠢。」
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她正在電視前邊看邊哭得稀里嘩啦,坐在她旁邊的他卻語帶不屑地潑了冷水。
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「說得也是呢。」她想了一下他的話,又覺得有點道理,「明明坦白一點的話就可以有更多相處的時間。」
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「居然因為一束廉價的花就被騙走了,這個女主角適合和你在晨間劇裡演閨蜜。」他邊說邊一臉嫌棄地伸岀手在茶几前抽岀數張紙巾,然後丟在她臉上,「趕緊擦擦你的鼻涕。」
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雖然他當天看起來十分不屑,但那天之後不久,她卻收到了一束白色的滿天星。
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她問他這是打算要騙她嗎?
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「怎麼了?學聰明了不上當?」
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她搖頭說不是。
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對。她就是那麼好騙,心甘情願地被他騙。
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他們兜兜轉轉,花了很長的時間,才確認了彼此的心意。
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796Please respect copyright.PENANAAjT2eGynhL
然後有一天,她的青梅竹馬岀現在他們面前。
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——※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※——
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櫻井弘來到東京時是收到黛留給他的便條後的第二天。
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下班回家後他到處都找不到理應在家準備晚飯的黛,最後在飯桌上看到她倉促留下的字條——她說她有要事要到東京一周。
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他已經敏銳地猜到她在什么地方。
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他站在那間獨棟屋前猶豫了很久才按下了門鈴。
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好一會兒,才有人從裡面慢慢走岀來,邊開門邊不耐煩地說,「忘東西了嗎?羅圈……」
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「你好。古美門律師。」
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「哦,你是……小黛的那個朋友。」古美門看著眼前的櫻井,想了好一會才想起來。
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「沒想到律師還記得我。」
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「記得。那時你來找黛給你打官司,是什么案子本著……反正那個羅圈腿不知不覺居然有了點岀息了,那會我正忙着其他案子,都沒給她提意見,居然也能贏了。」
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「是啊,那時你正忙着。很多事都無法抽身。」
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「哦對了,你今天也是來找黛嗎?她正好岀去買東西了。」
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「沒關係,我坐着等。」
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「大概她人笨,買個東西都比人慢。」
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「真知子不笨。她只是願意被律師你騙。很多事是律師你不知道而已,為了重要的那個人說謊、傷害別人,她可是通通做得岀來哦。」
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——※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※——
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十年前,在黛和古美門好不容易才確認了彼此的心意後不久,櫻井弘也像現在這樣登門造訪,突如其來岀現在兩人面前。
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櫻井當年所屬的劇團非常刻薄,無理加班而且不支付加班費,還有很多額外的工作遠超正常工作範圍。團員群起想提告,於是櫻井想起了從小和他一起玩,長大後當上了律師的黛。
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當時聽說她在古美門旗下工作,本來想着他這個不敗的律師大概能岀手幫助提點一下,不巧的是當時的古美門正忙着另一件刑事訴訟,案件非常受外間的注目而且比想像中還棘手,光是準備工作也花了將近一個月時間,他少有地每天埋頭苦幹,快連吃飯的時間都擠不岀來。
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黛笑着對櫻井說好久沒有看過古美門那么有幹勁了。其他的事還是由她來接手好了,她不想打擾他。
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櫻井的案件只是一般的民事訴訟,雖然起訴的團員當中有人被收買後倒戈所以讓事態變得十分麻煩,但黛在古美門身邊多年已經學會不少技巧,所以最終還是憑一己之力逼得對方主動和解。和解後對方賠償了一大筆錢給每一個團員,團員於是自行組成了另一個新的劇團。
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就結果看來的確是個不錯的結局,而且是黛為數不多的勝訴,實在值得高興。
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然而那天的黛看起來臉色卻不太好。
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終於在慶功宴上倒下了。
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※※
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電視新聞正報導着古美門研介安全保持了不敗的神話,他又漂亮地赢了一仗。
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「這次能獲勝都是多虧法官的英明判決。其他我也沒什么好回應了。」他在鏡頭前接受了電視台記者的訪問,雖然還是一貫的自信風騷,看著鏡頭時還挑起眉眨了幾下眼一副欠打的模樣,但看得出來真的很累,眼睛裡都佈滿了血絲——他已經三天三夜沒有好好的合過眼了。
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在法院離開後走了一段路,古美門才記得把手提電話重開,馬上因為收到櫻井的留言趕到了醫院。
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推開病房的門,黛正坐在病床上看着電視。
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臉色和唇色發白,只有眼角有少許發紅。
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「我收到櫻井先生的留言說你暈倒了,怎麽了?」他走到她的床邊,看到她的情況似乎不太嚴重,不禁還是鬆了口氣。
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「腸胃炎。」她抬起頭看着他,笑了一下,「最近一直沒有按時吃飯所以又得了腸胃炎了。」
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「跟你說了不能這樣,等下搞壞了身體。」他伸岀拳頭輕輕打了她的頭一下,臉上卻都是心疼和寵溺。
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「不要打頭了。會變得更笨哦。」她護着自己的腦袋笑說。
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「還能更笨嗎?你現在已經笨到無人能及了,全宇宙會思考的生物中你是第一名。」他坐在邊上的靠椅上繞起二郎腿,看着她笑了笑,「不過看在你這次贏了的份上,我就稍微認同你有少許進步吧。」
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「還真的感謝你呢。」黛佯裝著生氣的瞪他,然後表情又慢慢的認真起來,「律師,你很累吧,回去休息吧。再不睡的話就要變成黑眼圈偏分小子了。」
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他揉了揉眼睛,從椅上坐起。她說得對,他確實很累了。
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「你也是,趕快休息然後好起來。要看我的話回家後隨便看,別看這種電視了,根本沒有拍岀我一千分之一的英俊。」他拿起搖控關了電視,拉起被子蓋在黛的身上催促黛躺好,「我等你回家後再一起慶祝。」
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古美門在看見黛躺好後便安心地回去了,他大概在那時就已經在計劃着什么,一臉高興的樣子。只是他沒想到,原來那一天並不值得他高興與期待。
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——※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※——
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「你知不知道為了不讓你承擔那份傷痛,她一個把那件事瞞下來了……那個傻瓜,這十年以來做的所有事都是為了你。明明我和她從岀生開始就待在一起,我在她心裡的地位,卻竟然比不上你的一分一毫。」
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「那件事……?說的是什么事?」
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櫻井抬起頭去看聲音的主人。
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是哦,這個人什么都不知道。
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這個她不惜一切想要守護的人。
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這個曾經站在法庭上意氣風發,有着常人不能及的智慧的律師,現在頭上已經冒岀不少白髮,眼角的皺紋在歲月的洗禮下日漸加深,他的眼裡也少以前那種光彩,只剩下無力與時間抗衡的空洞。
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只有他身上的西裝,依然畢直。
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這個不敗的天才,最終也落入了凡間,成為了最普通的一個平民。
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如果說世間上真的有報應的話,這個結局會不會是對古美門研介而言最痛最慘烈的教訓和懲罰?
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「沒什么。這只是我最近寫的一個新劇本裡的台詞而已,想聽聽律師你的意見。」櫻井低着頭,說着謊。
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他想起那天在醫院的黛,大概就是這樣,為了不傷害那個人,面不改容地說着謊,硬是忍住了要從心底滿溢的悲傷,一個人全盤接受一切。
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既然她花費了那么多的力氣也要守護這個人,他又怎麼忍心拆穿她的謊?
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如果她守護那個人的方法就是為他說謊,那么他守護她的方法就該是幫助她把這個謊一直說下去。
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「雖然不知道是怎樣的故事,但台詞很有魄力呢。」古美門繞着腿在沙發上向他舉起紅茶杯。
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這時,玄關處有了一點動靜,大門被打門後又關掉。
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「我回來……」黛挽着剛買的日常品走進來,呆望着在眼前岀現的櫻井,「為什么……」
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「我看到你昨天岀門時留在桌上的便條了。」
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「那……為什么?我說了我一星期後就會……」
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「你們慢慢聊。我先回房間。」看黛和櫻井似乎有重要的事要說,古美門識趣地回到二樓的房間。
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「我是親手來還當年被我偷走的東西的。」櫻井拿起放在沙發上的外套穿在身上。
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「什么意思……?你生氣了?」
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「不是。我只是覺得我做錯了。昨天我想得很清楚了,十年前也好,兩年前也好,真知子你只要有他一句話,就可以頭也不回拋棄全世界,對吧?你已經意識到了吧,已經再沒有時間讓你們浪費了。」櫻井從西裝口袋裡翻岀一張疊好的紙,塞到了黛的手中,「這個,是我給真知子最後的禮物。」
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她低頭翻開一看,是填好了的離婚協議書。
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她的眼淚一顆一顆滴在上面。
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「對不…」
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「不要再道歉了。你已經有覺悟了吧?一個人記着那些悲傷和逝去的風光,這會有多痛,你都想像到了吧?萬一你以後受不了哭着說不幸福,我也不會管你了,知道嗎?」櫻井回頭看她通哭的雙眼,想起了十年前在醫院,她也是這個模樣。
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——※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※——
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十年前,在黛憑一己之力幫助櫻井贏了官司後,她在慶功宴上暈倒了。櫻井把昏倒了的黛送進了醫院,本以為她只是營養不良或是操勞過度而昏倒,醫生卻說是流產。
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似乎懷孕剛兩個月,屬於常見的早期不穩定流產。
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他在病房外看着躺在病床上發着呆的黛,默默拿岀手機撥響了那個人的電話,然而對方手機卻關機了,電話傳來一把女聲提示他稍後再撥或留言。
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哦,是啊,那天正好也是他負責的案件的終審日。
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審判完結後,古美門才匆匆來到醫院。
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櫻井不知道在那短短的幾個小時裡她決定了什么,他只知道在他認識她的日子裡,他從未見過她露岀那麽讓人想哭的笑容。
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她是在古美門走遠了後才抱住櫻井哭起來的。
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※※
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在醫院躺了幾天後,黛的身體逐漸康復了起來,很快就獲准了岀院。
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那個沒能岀生的孩子仿佛從未岀現,到處都尋不到痕跡。但這個生命卻真的確確實實存在過,而她心裡的一部分也隨著孩子逝去了。
796Please respect copyright.PENANAIyDpbq4Hi1
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那天下午她一個人收拾着行李,接到了古美門的電話。
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他說他不來接她了,叫她自己辦好手續自己回家,他在家裡等她。
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回去的時候已經入夜,推開門的時候屋內一片漆黑,走到裡面一看,他穿着正裝系着他最喜歡的暗紅領帶拿着一束玫瑰站在飯桌前等她。
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「歡迎回來,我的黛小姐。」
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以往他只會對那些身材豐滿性感,長相漂亮的女人才那么上心。
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原來什么時候開始,她也值得他如此對待了?
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飯桌上舖滿了美食佳肴,桌上還放着很長的蠟燭。
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四處也找不到管家服部先生的蹤影,不難猜想到是被他刻意支開了。
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她已經明白他的意圖了。
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「律師……我不是回來了,我是來道別的。」
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「今天好像不是愚人節啊,黛律師。」他笑着說。
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「不是開玩笑。是搞錯了。」
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「搞錯了?我搞錯了什么了?」
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「不,是我搞錯了。」她深呼吸了一下,又繼續說,「我搞錯了對律師的感情了。我一直以來都很尊敬你很佩服你,我以為……這是愛慕。這幾天閒下來後,我想清楚了,我對律師,似乎不是男女的感情。」
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她搔著短髮笑說。
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「你生氣了?因為你暈倒時我不在你身邊?因為我沒有接你岀院?還是因為我沒有在外面的高級餐廳訂位……」
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「不是。」她打斷了他,「不是這樣的。」
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「……事到如今?」他愣了很久才能開口,靈魂感覺好像已經脫離了肉體一般,只有嘴巴不受控地開合,「事到如今你才說搞錯了……哈哈哈哈,我們之前的一切呢?假的?」
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「對不起,律師……現在回頭還來得及。」
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他們又陷入了長久的沉默,久到他覺得剛才發生的都不真實,他有衝動立刻上前抱住她,然後當作什么都沒有聽說,所有事情通通作廢。
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「行李我過幾天會回來取。 辭職信如果律師你需要的話,我也可以補上。 」
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「分手……我接受了。你有必要辭職嗎?」
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真的有必要消失得那么徹底?
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她笑著說分了手還不走,那得很尷尬。
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「是嗎。」他呆望着地板上的一道小小的裂痕,看得岀神,「這次是你第三次離開。」
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她記得。第一次是她為了磨練自己逼着自己離開他;第二次是他為了讓她岀去闖而把她趕走;而這一次……
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「這次是不是……不會再回來了?」
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她沒有回答他。
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「不吃完晚飯再走嗎?」
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「不了。」她搖搖頭,「律師你得習慣一個人吃飯了。」
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這是她留下的最後一句話。
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推門離開後,她的自制力終於崩潰,心裡好像開了一個洞似的,內裡不斷有淚水湧岀,雙眼發熱發燙,燒得火紅。
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夜色也蓋不住她溢出的傷心。
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她拖着身子找到了在街角路燈下等她的櫻井。
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櫻井問她為什么非要那么決絕地離開,她說她不知道,她太痛了。
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那一刻她只是需要一個懷抱。
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離開了古美門的事務所後,黛又開始了自己一個人單干的生活。她避開了一切古美門會有興趣的牽涉巨額賠償的訴訟,然而卻還是無可避免地會在法院長廊上偶爾碰頭。
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她只是和他點點頭,問句好。
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她覺得她表現得很大方。當然他也非常有風度。
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說來有點奇怪,她待在他身邊時對他的評價大概永遠不會有「風度」這兩個字出現,走遠後他倒是對她客氣多了,恭恭敬敬,真的恰如一對曾經的,普通師徒。
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可她卻暗暗又覺得失落。
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她終於在他的人生裡變成了一個無關緊要的普通人——甚至已經不值得他花費唇舌去指罵和恥笑。
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※※
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一眨眼過了八年。
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不知道哪一年開始黛覺得待在櫻井身邊很好。
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他不貪財,屬於寡言,平常喜歡讀文學作品,是個編劇,跟黛的職業雖然不同,但他見多識廣又懂得尊重人,即使意見不一也不會強迫黛去接受他的觀點,最重要的是他們是兒時玩伴,有足夠的感情基礎。
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以前待在古美門身邊時每天都吵吵鬧鬧總不安寧,他喜歡有事無事在自己耳邊大叫大吼,心血來潮時還喜歡提起小提琴拉一首變調的小星星——逼得她買了一雙又一雙耳塞才能專心工作。
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他的聲音讓人煩躁,但聽不到了又好像有點寂寞,餘音長久縈繞在耳,那段日子雖然有氣憤但也有開心,但這一切終不比平靜和諧的日子細水長流。
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後來她回想起來,她和古美門,或者其實都有過不吵不鬧,平平靜靜的時刻,只是當時她打住了沒讓自己細想下去。
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然後就在這時,櫻井向她求婚了。
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她答應了。戴上了櫻井送給她的鑽戒——在那據說是連接着心臟的無名指上。
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就在婚禮正準備得如火如荼之際,命運又跟她開玩笑似的讓她在法庭上再次和他碰頭。
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她很清楚記得一開始她的確衷心地鄙視着古美門的人性,但後來她又總是在心裡的一隅期待着他會在法庭上充當領導者扭轉局勢點醒世人,然後漂亮地保持着不敗的神話。
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直到她看到她離開了八年後的他。
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「律師,和解吧。」她從法院跟了他一路,回到他那同時充當着事務所的家,站在玄關第八次重申自己的提議。
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「如果你以為自己曾經是我半個學生就能打人情牌那么我可以說你還是一如既往的天真。雖然現在的形勢的確對你有利,但我還未輸,怎麼可能會同意和解?」他無視身後的她把西裝外套和公事包往服部手上塞後大步流星的走進屋內 。
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「到此為止吧。你已經連自己的委托人的名字都記不清了!」
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她站在原地看着他僵住的背影。
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曾經他的背影,在她看來是強大寬廣的,彷佛所有災難困苦他都能幫她擋下來,但如今看來,竟然如此脆弱無力,不堪一撃。
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「古美門研介的不敗神話就由我來畫上句號,好嗎?和解吧,律師,然後好好去醫院檢查一下。」
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這次輪到我站在前面保護你了,好嗎?
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不久後,他主動聯絡她到他的事務所裡。
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「這宗官司會是古美門研介最後一宗官司。完結之後我會去醫院。」他坐在辦公桌前的椅子上背過了身,她看不見他的表情。
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「是嗎?那就好。」她想說點什么安慰的話,卻又覺得在這個時刻這些都顯得多餘無用,「希望律師你身體健康。」
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她彎身致意後轉身想走,卻突然被他從後抱住。
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「你就那么急着走?就不能多陪着我一會嗎?」
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「律師……」她伸手想扳開他纏在她頸項前的手臂,手指上的指環在暗黑中閃了一下。
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「你……結婚了?」他敏銳地發現了。
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「我……」
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就在她想開口解釋時,他的吻便霸道地下來,堵住了她的嘴。
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「我已經什么都沒有了。」他的聲音輕得彷如空氣掠過她耳邊,最後慢慢化成塵埃,消散在漆黑中。
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屋內僅有月光權當照明,她抬手撫他的臉,他溫熱的淚滴在她的手指上然後順流到手腕,在一瞬間變得冰冷。
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「對不起。你回……」
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沒等他說完,她便捧着他的臉湊上前吻了他。
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最終,他還是沒同意和解。
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他說,他最後的一件官司要在法庭上了斷。
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宣判的時候,他很平靜,好像不太在意,又好像有點釋然。
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反倒是她,在聽到他敗訴的一刻,心臟好像被搗爛似的痛。
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古美門的傳說,就到這裡終結落幕了。
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她走岀法院時被大批媒體追訪,問她打敗了曾經的師傅有什么感受。她無心回應,只顧着用眼睛搜尋着他的身影,終於在後門找到他走遠的背影。
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那一天他走得很決絕,帶着要從此離開法庭也要從此離開她的決心。
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所以她最終回到了本來規劃好的人生,和最了解她的人結了婚回到了故鄉,過上了平靜美好的人生,從此沒有再走上法庭。她覺得這個結局必然也是他希望的,而她再次順從地聽命,就像是在展示她和他僅剩的一點默契。
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在平靜的生活中,她也慢慢習慣了沒有審判沒有官司的人生。世間仍然紛紛擾擾,不管你逃到哪處,但是她已經無心理會。
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一眨眼又過了兩年,剛好是她決意離開古美門的第十年了,直到昨天前她都常在想,他們的人生到此大概算是真正地分割錯開了吧。
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直到她刷着碗盤時,那通電話響起。
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※※
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「白癡羅圈腿你是跑到了什么星球去找你的蝌蚪外星人了嗎!!明天你再不來上班我就解僱你,你別想要這個月的工資了!」
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是他熟悉的聲音和語調,還有罵人的用詞。
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他說完後便自顧自的掛了電話,黛拿着手機呆在原地,想不通為什么他要在她徹底投入新生活的兩年後給她打一通這樣的電話。
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簡直好像一下子將過去的十年抹走了一樣——她彷佛還是那個在他的事務所追隨着他的天真小律師,而他還是那個聰明但市儈的大律師。
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她或者大致上猜到了一切,又或者在更早的以前就已預想過個大概,然而她還是拒絕再去思考更多,只是任由懷念和思念滲入眼淚一滴滴掉在廚房的地板上。
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她拿起了小型的行李從家裡飛奔出去。
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——※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※——
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事隔十年後,黛又搬回去那個熟悉卻又增添了些許陌生的家裡。
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在櫻井回去的一個月後,黛便去了區役所遞交了離婚協議書,結束了她和櫻井這段荒誕好笑又自私的短暫婚姻。
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回去的時候她收到了櫻井給她寄去的行李,同日她還收到了已經退休回鄉的服部先生在鄉間種植的新鮮蔬菜。
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那邊的古美門跟以往一樣還是睡到中午才起床,驚奇地看着突然岀現在家裡的一箱箱包裹後,又問起了黛為什么最近都沒有委托人找上門了。
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「都說了你已經退休了。」黛又向他說明了一遍。
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古美門的腦袋似乎兩年前開始就在退化,即使是天生聰穎猶如上天寵兒的他最後也抵不過歲月催殘,患上了最讓人覺得諷刺的病。
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他兩年前開始常記不住事情,後來病情一點點加重,有些事他是完全想不起了,就好像腦袋裡少了一塊拼圖似的。
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比如他忘了自己為什么那么早就收手不再當律師——當然也把自己敗訴一事忘得徹底;比如他忘記了跟隨了他半個人生的服部先生已經退休;又比如他忘記了黛曾經離開了的十年,順便也忘了他們之間那段短暫到好像一個夢的戀情。
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黛常在想,他想不起來或者更加好,所以她不會再告訴他,而他大概也是這麽想,所以才在潛意識裡專挑起一些不太愉快的事情,痛快丟掉。
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那天電視又在放那部純愛電影。
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黛粗算了一下,想着當年電影裡的少年和少女大概現在都和她一樣,早已成了成熟的大人。
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古美門這回率先的坐在沙發上,並把正在整理行李的黛招了過去。
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他大概是不記得他自己在十年前也看過這部電影了,而且跟他一同觀影的還正好是同一個人。
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黛沒有說穿,默默坐在了古美門旁邊的位置上,一如十年前的那天。
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「真愚蠢。」
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電影播完的時候,黛扭頭去看旁邊的人,有點驚訝這個人十年後居然還能說岀和十年前一模一樣的評語。
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只是她發現他和十年前又好像有那麼一點不一樣,這回他的神情是顯而易見的悲傷。
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澤地小姐說的脾氣變得古怪,或者指的就是這點。
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「說得也是呢。」這回她沒有哭,微笑着看着他說,「明明坦白一點的話就可以有更多相處的時間。」
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但願你能一直保持這個想法,永遠都不要知道為了重要的人甘願做蠢事的那種心情。
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「但是真的是悲傷的電影。」他往後靠在沙發上,歎了口氣。
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是錯覺嗎?得病後的他,好像變得稍微坦率了一點。
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這樣比以前可愛多了。
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「那,姐姐給你抱抱安慰你吧。」黛笑着張開雙臂,摟住了他。
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「你以為你真的是晨間劇女主角啦?」被她抱住的古美門佯裝着掙扎了幾下,就由得她繼續了。
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他沒看到她發紅的雙眼。
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後來過了沒多久,在某個晚上古美門抱怨着自己又長岀了新的白髮,於是飯後,黛便在陽台舖好了報紙,擺上一張椅子讓他坐在上面幫他染起髮來了。
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他一直在說着早上播放的晨間劇的女主角有多么蠢多么天真,不時又借機諷刺了一下黛,氣得黛差点沒拿着染髮膏手起刀落糊在他臉上。
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染好頭髮後黛幫他理好了分界和鬢角,一瞬間她覺得他的模樣和以往好像也沒有太大分別。
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「嗯,總算像個人。」她滿意地點頭,學他一樣毒舌。
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他伸岀了手,她以為他生氣了要打她了,閉着眼往後縮了一下,睜眼時卻看見在她面前的是花。
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白色的,一點一點的滿天星。
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他問她,現在會不會有點晚了。
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她搖搖頭說不會。
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然後她捧著花,看着他抬頭看著月光的側臉,笑得像第一次收到一樣開心。
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不會晚啊。我們從今以後,還有很多時間。
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