尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGN9x4aeyJ
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhOC2gxOeY
「妳瘋了嗎？」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SjTEX0g5x
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhJMe3C2fr
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLXQ68zIKS
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIQTkUx1jv
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lSMvDKwgM
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmqEgFDePa
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW6R6f3OUs
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7N1tpy1Oq
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHU3CO7iQ3
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCIGLTFEYN
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmsaByWTkH
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQbOoB7g1T
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZVtwzVz0G
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiE2MZucFga
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZtE0YDeNt
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8iZODh2lk
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yU85M5ZBr
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEcnLGWM9G
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDsw4axLLC
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMCBdweN1v
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZO284xS6hX
站在樹下的人是英傑。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfu6X0BdH3W
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjZ95x9dnY
我跑向他，勾住他的手。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtisOQjMTA8
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvoq5Dg3cr
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l54fPxa77
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LomUwLISr
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TQ8W9dkrX
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES0BIeMSVS
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuF2OyoFul
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUajItI6Yk7
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6IDeTJ94A
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06hmnxsT5D
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpdNP2Idvx
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8R2HzwrwQq
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaclx9no5QL
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXLXbucD3P
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgCVEYaAbe
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzA6391t62v
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAAc4lWnyk
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AZzRubcPB
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymS5sjqJ67
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllzXCmNjJ2
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5CAdHzJWS
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1MyjhKSpq
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fJWOIniGg
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTESyAZqrJR
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1xZaCfVMB
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZDhlNaHPx
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16RDbKaeqs
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5gtgHDeVQ
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPZzAsXF41
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaFhZQ60f7
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8CiGCyLlD
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ5UWyo2bm
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh0YasKVGN
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEp6nRTOxO6
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboA1JFyET5
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CUZjDneW5
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdLhBe1rYq
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWEqEj41o9
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAXgnTXfYV
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e0tMlAAop
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJqrBJQhAr
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypvZjplfTc
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlf3AGRouK
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpe3d4HImt
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVUJdmsfOZ
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx0USbSn6z
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwEPb98UHa
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIiNQ9388h
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmL1c92Gqqy
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxlRjNAa73
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKss6ZaqM8
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW23i0b4395
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiRFn4gtBn
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGq0U94Yf8
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtEXG60fc9
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10Mojos5D4
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZip4zLiff
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboY8BVtMjS
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiLpV1s49f
在電視裡面。544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cLWhJLMqP
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqf8nxJPEsF
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHLTXSdYHg
544Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfQdxbsYu6
待續。
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