尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7u7HfFgWf
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0SBAlYpX3
「妳瘋了嗎？」578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwwffoqi2R
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTW90WHNOJt
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxxqkWJjSc
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VFAUCauD3
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdppi6vrc71
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60N2BL2BQl
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfl8Yg9GO9
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuc61BcDNS
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfHwcFtpMY
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV36OCsio3
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8URVxCmahx
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKW8Q53b32j
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREIHJnhL4s
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRngVtKOrxQ
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnrJer70Op
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Dh62Vft7H
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡate0wI812N
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQGXac9J3D
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFerLU4TML
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0pfzbslES
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQIbWPcLMC
站在樹下的人是英傑。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcf9orgFCDI
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDHUjkMXj3
我跑向他，勾住他的手。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTaCS0Ul0P
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZNOQ21XsL
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9taAJUKmJh
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzfqnLOKVP
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBHqsGvZTV
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZVDXv48rH
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80wYDaZAho
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gfqSDU4Ec
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGvhhv1VUe
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3Vkq48PRM
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTTdpOSX0Y
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKZe3Vge8h
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6UsIk2GQb
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVs6E7xyxDl
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtN9Ny4AQdZ
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6hLDkXhcJ
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyzqY22y74
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyrgeVGOXl
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgiDhCe4lN
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxXslxeAtj
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqvSezoyxr
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1HLSuX5OH
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dUKSgYAbh
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZpI6VMrLz
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7TkReC6ca
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlutojXVHFG
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZkwf3LT3y
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90vDbbdH9G
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj1m2hHbRr
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRQnBxiWG2
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9y15YsDM9l
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJybsSIrQn
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xVanfOLlh
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8elCKujrYX
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPURxmXUGL
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHatvdoQp2
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrkcIhHgSj
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWumsFYVXm
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPpr0IpWyr
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJoRDx1Ob2
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsesDFnKNQ
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWr5SR1e7M
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uWqsZiRMH
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTqw6mgkkX
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhPtDFxWS6
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF528rP7qlO
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxWwQIJ4dF
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMTKoNbs56
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF5OIp71a4
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYHm8j1QnN
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkIbwQWP9s
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqsqTo0B2g
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GYnrJ7Gdv
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmypvQL3AN
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCU3SuSTnx
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRj1VPMQYe6
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMCV3wGm17
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE14CzgsxIw
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbb6VWBq77
在電視裡面。578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8QAj1nk8H
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVebA39VRYI
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu23CZNSjEr
578Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx5caw0JQo
待續。
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