尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNrcHLwpk4
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinA2GtYCaf
「妳瘋了嗎？」520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRFMFGRujL
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyJtarSmd3
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCh7cnLQE1
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdbERwf0Xn
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDedHsq5uNN
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3heRxQmED
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKthDQ89of
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX8ABkI9G1
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEk8ZOUwgj
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisCCvSeMbh
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptIyOxRygD
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3e5KzbdtL
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4eTyr15Ox
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCJFOCSXvF
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNXOawCyX6
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpPHfhr5gf
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsNJvMFldH
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVd7jz3cps
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSELrtYKGpI
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62zYRODvbx
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeYHNeBrfR
站在樹下的人是英傑。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6J1yQwnLW
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBgSqq65Ia
我跑向他，勾住他的手。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfJx7lkuN9
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnOZFrulUq
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0fj5ILzsq
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFkDmxE9Qy
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunxXxFF5vt
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65zGFSXqXP
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSC3UnLM2V
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HY6SGCiAc
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZH5QIlEuyD
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdOi0Uggv8
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡds1UuzU7kv
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvZmvQWxRY
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXv6E5JfOAg
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDhmhEp8cz
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYArl4ADVt8
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQRJRBRNhk
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr05Df0rUcO
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvOWuIw0N0
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPdtq5ekKJ
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZMZykvsJg
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28t6npDRtP
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeV2UFdGIyv
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeBom3Ams2
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBemCyZaJX
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrr0g5Jqjb4
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuFMLGVIke
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV92iJBCAI
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVi11c2sRD
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPrvDChS3V
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgae4iHYJez
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgLDG5IPSc
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUv4OfiXoQ
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7kMYMGHzi
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDE0HQEgUDV
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wklNZBkWC
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ150JMejFZ1
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXreXNewTXe
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35oUJPw1lv
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvgiBFMx6y
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUSU1SlLob
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9svCABqh3v
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5zsL4fh8D
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr95hsAwzm
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIEe9mZ79J
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdX9jAJ7kXs
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsnGaBQJru
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKk7BA5yT5
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtPrEbY5vO
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRt5LdhEpv9
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqteZD6DMV0
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tX8wHvGuz
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZAVW3KikI
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXjvl0D97f
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3M7Tb2ze7
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrL2SyWuYBV
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePIajOaC8S
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhOEGDBGed
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ941Ba8N6mi
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyz7qDaThg
在電視裡面。520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZMFVlpRBx
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ0004NJki
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEVFT9OlkO
520Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgFd0q96W1
待續。
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