尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZgQsl350U
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowr3O7XYYq
「妳瘋了嗎？」542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ec46kZUf7
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Pq12q5VCC
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeTw7U4XL8
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TkDQ4lRGn
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipHTZFkoHg
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFEK9cFsYP
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpudrcAvOcz
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDeEB21B16
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgx0LPAz2K1
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiOiZ238UT
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTOEw80zft
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjdqxv5chJ
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7S2D2QQz3
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJhypRIkI1
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe47IpZGoq5
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWBvzu8IWp
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSJevxJOXi
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykBcHZH6Yy
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cQWZyeugl
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi93UDsZxt0
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXwD97SOgI
站在樹下的人是英傑。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhit441Kad
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6WPjQEIQ3
我跑向他，勾住他的手。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vzXlJJ9kc
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVi5dLjlhBl
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwawRA18spo
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTzizPedO0
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk0f6oHe7L
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnEuZF8gCl
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpwcbJ0jvk
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7yxFl0TzL
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO0HLO2nQx
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpkSKelJRH
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YycHVNVz4
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvh95grFOBK
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCu1Rhzg7Gt
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWPHTijfDs
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyTyHbs7ad
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2AoSbYAtn
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmCgfaR18u
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Kq5v8Z2Ri
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tPa4csvqr
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rd46BkiiZ
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqzLbzFWF3
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl3IyXlIcz
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCbNb8FxdI
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVTOHgHfsO
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQAY6JOsyC
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC6rphJdD6
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxEeXy10I6
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr2hKQazOu
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D3RKnY4wD
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQYSqSgLD0
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg6vY2zhzV
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyrLvEiMHQ
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBLA3nu6Ks
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqHsqvVi4d
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaT1l5Ih4mJ
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjo6rMfZsl
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfd0piaGQ19
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7dooUEyfa
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmkI6t1hyP
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbD1NZCfMgc
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdtsNMoCUv
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNhIUZQ5IR
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xBjCkan0x
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuHKGAD8RD
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOihvT6BqLv
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOJyFieTC8
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaviH8Me29
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT8gyk018X
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wfZkShZr7
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLCbPR32iV
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhmMXyHMAa
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0Mh6NMoI5
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxrfZv6eil
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVctN9S4ae
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhnGUP4DCq
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTuxOJmY0v
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZUSJzYDHz
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaFJfivafH
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzQvRHTGwz
在電視裡面。542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm9PKhEghF
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJSUCGSzuI
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaPvDwYPoL
542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoE7SZ8zoK
待續。
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