尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtYVBl6OLZ
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55sgUD7PzH
「妳瘋了嗎？」738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhltwXtDQbR
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPFwi8nUck
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3G0D5Cv16
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAJCGPhNxl
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwt5YG6new
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YGuitDnqd
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgwrX7QHcH
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsdM2t8H2z
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjagCy0bd1
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KKsprGjMV
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSqxsuzpK5
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9S6elCwNN
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKKthaltZF
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57SzLcHVPh
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2deLeDojZ
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYUhSiidHU
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLGYzkGyLz
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxOktRJn2k
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyBYEasOtY
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD83n7FZ8yZ
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPkiqq6bW9
站在樹下的人是英傑。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Oiy9S92u8
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaMxubqQlE
我跑向他，勾住他的手。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ690lu4kZv5
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvnwSHT837
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioD3oU590G
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPvl7GNKDy
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj2eG3q98Q
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBSFPPvjBy
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kYCATVClb
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxgMWxjzU2
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1E2U5eoG93
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nVOrEZzQW
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nelloFgmY
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iQA3TrtOp
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7k0xHrliG
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGVWWwgevB
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKYNnvn5aH
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyvxh9SAcG
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpAqfDsRBg
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeL2infPQB
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBk61cTxYyt
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv90S6FZdLl
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfKtvEu0sg
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQHGVQ7bSq
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIjzCZijCB
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3tEkZcB9T
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppnaCk4H9J
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5yZRXNkyI
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTg2y84Xs1
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEpC4hInjA
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfw3moakH8
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2DlJxef76
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFOoQyZ6JX
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSElbfSWWy
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12gvGPkk6n
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiuqSfN0dj
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbD7cAsyo5s
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4kgEkItXk
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVc1MHZlob
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGe8aKhlbSx
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3j3MIeyJ2
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGk9xPqPiSm
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5ojHQT6c2
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3R9fBPG7b
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyEAkPbBw9
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoe2cMdOAe
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsol5TdvE4
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AOhErc1sD
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQkTwQkSqo
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHk3MXvfjt
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TY2N2tXoy
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQifILh8jkN
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ABv6GCigd
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1DbsQsqSh
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPUHcyNG3G
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwtOhQDtDX
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI3PDdlv7s
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbX2dh16HV
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡho6EgrXH5m
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDBY600VBt
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDdWBmYUal
在電視裡面。738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWc5Z07cdj
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32XtXhyM7n
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wFUMBKeBU
738Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU5CjQbuGv
待續。
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