尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aQ7LrDqL9
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5duQL4liie
「妳瘋了嗎？」509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8m5qpuPj4
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljxjRD3C7q
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd4Rb2KBSj
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAQk2U4Zse
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiAX0RIG6Q
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDNDfeC0iq
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZ7fMYbhuC
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuQtyTWamO
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLabS13WVt
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVELsOnGSnz
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspYRIP61PC
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeykK4Q3yZj
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZJNR0Wylu
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyltIwxGn5
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLu8lRiJqUv
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4j7DmoMa5
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlodcDyMsX
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4W4LHAUdT4
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwIHRyDGpp
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwA30PQHtTl
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ02G7TtgLj
站在樹下的人是英傑。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWQ0VUQOby
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRnweJhGG3
我跑向他，勾住他的手。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9N4gqmYj5
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE7kqQRfr1
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPJDj1Gy9Y
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNpzseo7rp
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSlWrhitWZ
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJCWD0Zvaz
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF63IJa7JyQ
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas5enpxJD3
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxjD0qNhcU
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiV4Lde6BbR
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCwzniCyck
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFFXc9wEUi
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr26rgjAsk
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pAxUs2RSY
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JNLGVc4Dh
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBZUcQaVT6
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7FNx6q5CD
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyOytzGELC
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5Zfcm5aVc
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9Ux9rOpXQ
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd62WIHpXhG
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxCyoy7tYF
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXqz79MASV
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M3Ftjjq1n
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QLY6oonGV
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFf2Yy8Urk
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hdvFYs2ky
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSt5OTHeykN
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jFWF0zpbc
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrYBDlTHsh
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxUiSjLQZd
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgPXs3dLAv
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbDZcSw2fQ
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDa901PL4VG
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdlNoU61DU
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvRBhKgPX0
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qotqYwRdc
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSD9AhdJxL
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZZkE6NCuw
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWqqMPtpLj
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvr9RyMn9Hm
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52x9l54V9M
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDNxB7OX01
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuSgVtDqUy
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxdqyiyzI3
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWhEgTWyZE
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5m7y2Lk357
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrIthWWeJw
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8J8uafAGNj
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BlRRuDREO
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8lSqTkmgx
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpk3fSDAxK
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhw8QYfQS2P
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56vzJEHXgC
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEtZQT057b
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ftSGL6RVW
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Mqp0yUyAQ
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhllSzSB5M
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhdPdV3iQn
在電視裡面。509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Shm6PHJNg
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZcgyrZZMH
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIVzccjSr5
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoON0zNAw9
待續。
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