尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWRzrClHvb
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzv3nJlgEp
「妳瘋了嗎？」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9WZBdejUs
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX4xjclCPu
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CjwFggAeb
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGdLB5qo9y
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3s6AHPAlb
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqwW8raRIO
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsNuUyuLTS
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCYNQ8Wl73
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvcf0TdU2A
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLMXiPXaD1
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XGax0GXle
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMYlC43blf
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlUWH4d5Z8
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwTpX7VCjq
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKK7zUPp4C
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxffnExjJz
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNIXWex5bq
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz84NSnMnfX
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyAkTrgQc6
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UB42Oz3jD
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0DUnKm3Cf
站在樹下的人是英傑。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBW9FYO13L
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjEZiIWarO
我跑向他，勾住他的手。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuHk5J7Jht
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdKCG87ir3
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfvPI74Xmp
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeY9J0lDpKo
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSOdV2RbIY
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5r4unvg6yq
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CKSjRa4md
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKisecAJKVH
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdZVcTXL79
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPef6Hx2c0
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSVrhbNWG1
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFu6AR8xut
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpJajRHqSO
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULF2bz36o3
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x0ZAfMUjH
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJNeB4NmPK
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3EVRyq7oZ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5OnXy5qzz
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqW7ciLPdNz
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcHUAc3UmH
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5J15TqW9j
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ96X9MfE9N
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8L1N1WuL8
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkigEWNAAih
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFvyUio6E1
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5cCntsld9
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJHDKD0afl
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92L0MC7pcr
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeETqSw8mW
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQmp9Wl6Do
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMOi7TrrtT
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLS8fFHqjW
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yn6cIuZUu
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qrm2QRbZn
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXR04B4twzV
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1YIAyuArJ
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfunkoYTuxb
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HDwBIxBVu
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP1IBzpUo6
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGzG5pXpJG
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLSi5sK55m
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJB6kDgc69
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt8Ha2zmJ4
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1apyjmaiC
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3W2kwoTuP
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfDMcFpVXt
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QSxgHyGVu
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD63WDcVCh
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbglmWLucE
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5nh0jD21e
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaMNVsowpW
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOexHpJviH
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgMDHcjvwy
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6UrbtHD7R
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMi8AxphLz
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUruWd13gt
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfg1HDvcdS
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNt17c8zg1N
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsbpbpDIFe
在電視裡面。574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmDzIRICVe
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNzNBxeVgY
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmp0Wbidk7
574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrxudqFQup
待續。
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