我站在門前許久,才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。306Please respect copyright.PENANAKugHcu4BtG
306Please respect copyright.PENANARRMrf9ijgy
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。306Please respect copyright.PENANADyO7FMEPd0
306Please respect copyright.PENANAln3yt7Xq5I
「請問,這是英傑的家嗎?」306Please respect copyright.PENANARRpx736Mgl
306Please respect copyright.PENANA0fY5aDA3oq
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。306Please respect copyright.PENANACAOr5sXdIk
306Please respect copyright.PENANAqgph7DNaA9
「妳是…?」306Please respect copyright.PENANAnNRmSUsC5K
306Please respect copyright.PENANAiosrguZUWt
「我是英傑的朋友,因為我一直聯絡不到他,所以…」306Please respect copyright.PENANAOaKuByGIib
306Please respect copyright.PENANA55axb12RrY
「妳找錯間了,這裡沒這個人!」她揮揮手,避開我的眼神。306Please respect copyright.PENANAlNUyNxAEFm
306Please respect copyright.PENANAXufSqA6gIE
「我知道他被通緝!」在她準備關上裡面的木門前,我急著大喊。306Please respect copyright.PENANA9t48alsjeS
306Please respect copyright.PENANA91gKH4tGa9
婦人停下動作,又把木門拉開了些。306Please respect copyright.PENANAgJpIt2d75Y
306Please respect copyright.PENANAhrKxVEshl2
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面,可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。306Please respect copyright.PENANA9znWHZ3AWZ
306Please respect copyright.PENANArc6JsTBtZh
「妳是他女朋友?」306Please respect copyright.PENANAfgzTQzmGPE
306Please respect copyright.PENANAcCSpF5708z
「不是,我不是,我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。306Please respect copyright.PENANAm5OnxQMB9C
306Please respect copyright.PENANA3lPl6PZhbE
306Please respect copyright.PENANAkpJMOsANqR
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」306Please respect copyright.PENANA5beudzRZSg
306Please respect copyright.PENANAdlsnXW1e8W
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著,語氣平淡得不可思議。306Please respect copyright.PENANAkH4CNVTsI6
306Please respect copyright.PENANAZrtTl2sQep
我一時語塞,沒能回話。306Please respect copyright.PENANA4AUcxBatbU
306Please respect copyright.PENANA2EeiuRQ9kg
「讓妳跑一趟,歹勢,英傑不在這裡,我也不知道他在哪裡。」306Please respect copyright.PENANAHewsbPgGm9
306Please respect copyright.PENANACIaV77tdHV
「那個…那,我可以留下我的手機,如果他有跟你們聯絡,請他跟我聯絡好嗎?」306Please respect copyright.PENANAfxcbriA03h
306Please respect copyright.PENANAdOKdX0Me9D
婦人一臉不耐煩,我很尷尬,但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門,交到婦人手裡。306Please respect copyright.PENANA2h2Y0mCgVX
306Please respect copyright.PENANAjMfsgW93ts
「小姐貴姓?」306Please respect copyright.PENANAAHcQuDxd7r
306Please respect copyright.PENANABdHBcZz0lg
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。306Please respect copyright.PENANAB925zPML3Z
306Please respect copyright.PENANAMp0z4LYhLn
「………」婦人突然噤了聲,透過鐵門盯著我。306Please respect copyright.PENANAix6PmglLHt
306Please respect copyright.PENANAAt9rEkFLHD
「糟。」我心想。306Please respect copyright.PENANAuO2mFs6r8v
306Please respect copyright.PENANA6JnnOWlpXY
她隨即關上木門。306Please respect copyright.PENANAt6mVz73GlK
306Please respect copyright.PENANAUg23iK4xl6
「她知道我是誰了。」306Please respect copyright.PENANA72hGP08jHq
306Please respect copyright.PENANA4WojSwq8F8
我當下便明白,不管英傑有沒有回到這裡,我都無法得知了。306Please respect copyright.PENANAlGlME1zFHB
306Please respect copyright.PENANALyNhfl8jLt
306Please respect copyright.PENANAaNjGUUwFDr
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。306Please respect copyright.PENANAgiZGnwe5pM
306Please respect copyright.PENANAyjLHdRFovu
我不敢換手機號碼,睡覺時也不關機,就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。306Please respect copyright.PENANA1j7CTdEXLf
306Please respect copyright.PENANAnMb9KzqKT5
就這樣升上了高中二年級,306Please respect copyright.PENANATpYizBaWZS
306Please respect copyright.PENANArTKyTKVE2B
迎來了人生的轉折。306Please respect copyright.PENANAKFkkjrALm9
306Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4ZJPNFSMG
306Please respect copyright.PENANAQy0IXYTbIn
父母親早在我國小時就已離異,但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開,便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大,幾乎是要什麼有什麼,生性霸道且極端任性,父親一生風流,基於愧疚或父愛,總寵著我,比起成天碎碎念的母親,我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。306Please respect copyright.PENANAsI4aqy4SjE
306Please respect copyright.PENANAgS53cwfj0Z
在高二那一年,父親生意失利,經營的公司惡性倒閉,再加上「賭」及「面子」,父親找上了地下錢莊。306Please respect copyright.PENANApmQ6CkywTk
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。306Please respect copyright.PENANA2CRw0yAKzf
306Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5H2phe8ns
當我放學回家,看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼,我還沒能反應過來。306Please respect copyright.PENANA0DPVNzDqGQ
306Please respect copyright.PENANA5n6hGdrCwA
「都已經離婚了,為什麼還這樣拖累我!」
母親氣得哭了。306Please respect copyright.PENANAjshBeUKfwV
306Please respect copyright.PENANA3PAzcbM7z8
某天晚上,母親進來房間,告訴我,房子要賣掉了。306Please respect copyright.PENANAanycFMnBUf
306Please respect copyright.PENANA2YQSYiQPzy
他們離婚後,所買的房子仍是共有財產,父親要把房子賣掉,才能償還債務。306Please respect copyright.PENANAqzLyO1FvCs
306Please respect copyright.PENANAe8Ok5Ctlpq
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重,跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家,就因為你,所以我的家就要這樣沒了!」306Please respect copyright.PENANAoJRdAaf1uU
306Please respect copyright.PENANAvBI0wib2tJ
「那妳要我死是不是!」爸爸第一次吼我。306Please respect copyright.PENANAxbdojAPFyp
306Please respect copyright.PENANAKwJlvTOlOq
「我沒錢,地下錢莊說要砍我手腳,我讓他砍是不是!」306Please respect copyright.PENANANxADwHdfiv
306Please respect copyright.PENANAzR3UQ10ixL
我嚇到了,沒能反駁。306Please respect copyright.PENANAPAeRX4L9B5
306Please respect copyright.PENANADVSTFJXKTp
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友,那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的,所以他要搬出去,妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡,不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。306Please respect copyright.PENANAuxxglx3Umr
306Please respect copyright.PENANAohwbO4MbyM
我沒說話,看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親,便逕自走回房間。306Please respect copyright.PENANACnd3Ypcq1b
306Please respect copyright.PENANA48av9pR7Dg
回到房間,想起國小五年級那天,母親到安親班接我和弟弟,把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了,妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權,弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳,妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開,所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔!」306Please respect copyright.PENANAQj6LUwLGBP
306Please respect copyright.PENANAPln9VhocaT
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。306Please respect copyright.PENANADrv3egEyzy
306Please respect copyright.PENANA86Fgs0DDi6
我不能接受的,其實是家的破碎。306Please respect copyright.PENANAlN8PLhFRQt
306Please respect copyright.PENANAIsvi7dd7Uf
因為一直都住在一起,所以沒有分離的感覺。306Please respect copyright.PENANAssUt9AxHMX
306Please respect copyright.PENANA2TmLtePvGU
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子,他弟弟出生後,就被虐待又被冷落,所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後,完全沒有再過問他們的生活,也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。306Please respect copyright.PENANApHgrIRb502
306Please respect copyright.PENANAodZEV0k8Ss
「妳不要管我,反正我的監護權又不是妳!」
「是妳自己不要我的!」
某次和母親吵架,我說了這樣的話,害母親哭了整晚。306Please respect copyright.PENANAKg85VAi5D8
306Please respect copyright.PENANA4gGkRNlxzo
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。306Please respect copyright.PENANAAjY3JQ8gv7
306Please respect copyright.PENANAsgeg40lU2t
「小姐貴姓?」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神,帶了驚訝及恨意。306Please respect copyright.PENANAfEJsO7vt5J
306Please respect copyright.PENANAoISIbnmjw9
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運,其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳,妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字,看起來多麼傷心。306Please respect copyright.PENANAO2BnryrmuI
306Please respect copyright.PENANA4Oi4YVWWmw
306Please respect copyright.PENANAdQLtqIpv5b
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。306Please respect copyright.PENANAjwIBNp8gzt
306Please respect copyright.PENANA5o1LKql4aJ
306Please respect copyright.PENANAKluYCdZklM
媽媽睡了之後,我走到客廳,父親盯著電視,卻兩眼無神。306Please respect copyright.PENANAr2sQMCe7fT
306Please respect copyright.PENANADD3DvI5Sk6
「爸爸。」我喊他。306Please respect copyright.PENANAitGzmj9M2W
306Please respect copyright.PENANAbAGfr4zhb5
父親抬頭看我。306Please respect copyright.PENANAIqJT9IBoOj
306Please respect copyright.PENANAK5kYmkVq5g
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡?」306Please respect copyright.PENANACmpYmM1en5
306Please respect copyright.PENANAj6yptFXdg7
「我不知道。」306Please respect copyright.PENANAiSzU1q41Hr
306Please respect copyright.PENANAfS5LORyzn9
306Please respect copyright.PENANAsTV4kSxz4T
「我和你一起搬走。」306Please respect copyright.PENANANriFmYx4kN
306Please respect copyright.PENANAHPth2h2onw
我說出這句話的時候,爸爸一臉驚訝。306Please respect copyright.PENANAfrhtWVrAKF
306Please respect copyright.PENANACA997odEOY
「真的嗎?」306Please respect copyright.PENANAT2SI10eleZ
306Please respect copyright.PENANAPqRghAJYYN
「嗯。」306Please respect copyright.PENANAHggUX0QOnG
306Please respect copyright.PENANAV5OUkYT8DZ
「…好啊。」306Please respect copyright.PENANAilLiYt5ln2
306Please respect copyright.PENANA33tTLo9hW8
「那我去睡了,爸爸晚安。」306Please respect copyright.PENANA9CMgYrIfC0
306Please respect copyright.PENANAxLQT5eVs3t
306Please respect copyright.PENANAJQ68G8tn60
那時,我只想著,父親一旦離開了,我可能再也見不到他。306Please respect copyright.PENANAm9BtyN3uwC
306Please respect copyright.PENANAEkfiL52T9X
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親,他仍是我的父親,從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。306Please respect copyright.PENANA7QoiVLOgwb
306Please respect copyright.PENANA94S1U60mKG
隔天,我便自己出門找房子。306Please respect copyright.PENANA1vefE1Kbwo
306Please respect copyright.PENANAXQkVu6KWTB
母親雖然擔心又不捨,但沒能阻止我的任性與固執,就還是陪著我找房子。306Please respect copyright.PENANAN0f2x3ACs0
306Please respect copyright.PENANAXhv9t19T2z
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處,因為我當時尚未成年,還是請父親來和房東簽合約,之後,我自己忙搬家,請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙,把所有的家具都搬到新住處。306Please respect copyright.PENANAodipxFuWiH
306Please respect copyright.PENANAFtX72sPyUH
306Please respect copyright.PENANAy4gus98ctc
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非,我們搬家後沒多久,又有新的債主找上門。306Please respect copyright.PENANA1sawnWrbJg
306Please respect copyright.PENANAYKLW0nxOv6
那天,黑兔子(忘記她的人請往前看系列文)趁著假日到家裡玩,我們在房間聊天,父親在客廳看電視。306Please respect copyright.PENANAjyhd0uuhVw
306Please respect copyright.PENANAwbF6nq21wa
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候,有人按電鈴。306Please respect copyright.PENANA1CERBiRDx0
306Please respect copyright.PENANA54MZdEzAMV
按了好幾聲,父親卻不去應門。306Please respect copyright.PENANAmO8nfLuOFG
306Please respect copyright.PENANACPImNivKB9
我走到客廳,看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面,示意我不要出聲。306Please respect copyright.PENANAuCN5yIwMlc
306Please respect copyright.PENANAUOthSBiyum
對方按了幾下電鈴,便開始撞門,接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。306Please respect copyright.PENANAbllz8k64eY
306Please respect copyright.PENANAanhz57zgPK
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到,悄聲問我怎麼回事,我覺得很丟臉,但還是告訴她,門外的是父親的債主,我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧,才會待在門外不走。306Please respect copyright.PENANAoZZdKgx7qB
306Please respect copyright.PENANAuBKRfq7JeR
直到傍晚,我才戰戰兢兢的開門,送黑兔子到公車站搭車。306Please respect copyright.PENANAVocm8YEnQT
306Please respect copyright.PENANAYp3YodEBGl
306Please respect copyright.PENANAPMZOO9GET5
那年發生的事情非常地多,我喜歡上了一個學長,但他卻用各種不同的方式,在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。306Please respect copyright.PENANAuUecGi0guF
306Please respect copyright.PENANAywQr72FVaw
但那是另一個故事了。306Please respect copyright.PENANAn7k48l6hJL
306Please respect copyright.PENANAmRZtjNVXC8
306Please respect copyright.PENANAw9k3IqBvEm
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。306Please respect copyright.PENANAtTj22FR3Qu
306Please respect copyright.PENANA1VfuUlOa1Y
我就讀的學校是私立職校,學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢,付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。306Please respect copyright.PENANA6yl4X9THK6
306Please respect copyright.PENANATBjLpkGO6n
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口,像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。306Please respect copyright.PENANA8qC7ZMC3vq
306Please respect copyright.PENANAgzVYir0JhR
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯,但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心,又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。306Please respect copyright.PENANAE1r2y7XLwq
306Please respect copyright.PENANAMh4v4NOs4D
306Please respect copyright.PENANAoyY30bEk8D
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡,我很常想起英傑。306Please respect copyright.PENANAU5U7N43z4P
306Please respect copyright.PENANA32KZxmPqtC
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢?306Please respect copyright.PENANAcSIrSpk69c
306Please respect copyright.PENANApcxDYRr6yx
難道逃出台灣了嗎?306Please respect copyright.PENANAWrAn56bD3G
306Please respect copyright.PENANAStL5nlUm1Y
難道…真的死了嗎?306Please respect copyright.PENANAHvz7gIFSff
306Please respect copyright.PENANAObiOKfUpra
306Please respect copyright.PENANAV7s7Fu4HPb
一天晚上,我帶著傷痕回家,在家門前,我把運動外套拉起,確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門,想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。306Please respect copyright.PENANA02v4iA7Ngq
306Please respect copyright.PENANA5FFr2HPgXB
但父親不在家。306Please respect copyright.PENANACLzGA3GSkw
306Please respect copyright.PENANA3eGPnHo0eC
撥了父親的電話,聽見那邊的麻將聲。306Please respect copyright.PENANAOz5alo6GMa
306Please respect copyright.PENANAqJX7lIWyBu
我對父親大吼,卻被掛電話。306Please respect copyright.PENANATWe2kJ5jge
306Please respect copyright.PENANAgtE6hlFhQx
那一刻,我想著自己所做的一切。306Please respect copyright.PENANAw54XNWxR3D
306Please respect copyright.PENANAuUGpXyX9od
「都是自己選的。」306Please respect copyright.PENANAepRP2cf8Xu
306Please respect copyright.PENANAY7QMO4PKhI
「沒人逼妳,都是妳自己選的。」306Please respect copyright.PENANAIIqniwpK1U
306Please respect copyright.PENANArFhswT0uDk
306Please respect copyright.PENANAyosSEm4tIS
306Please respect copyright.PENANAgEJGozzMOT
「乾脆,去死好了。」306Please respect copyright.PENANAo6Tc4AwllN
306Please respect copyright.PENANAenv6VZcQu9
306Please respect copyright.PENANAiFilvoD6fp
306Please respect copyright.PENANAEMzaZdO3V1
待續。
ns 172.70.126.78da2