我站在門前許久，才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zrh7FIjm4
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvgwJzRgJN
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9srM1Okxmv
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwq0nczDjD3
「請問，這是英傑的家嗎？」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijTjl4ObOD
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLnkoCcXct
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TIezdVVlR
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZLI3uU2GT
「妳是…？」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp6hLrqQU6
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVfqbjHYTe
「我是英傑的朋友，因為我一直聯絡不到他，所以…」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrw2gYXTb9
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMBKSe0eK4
「妳找錯間了，這裡沒這個人！」她揮揮手，避開我的眼神。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoluxqDD0On
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo8DJkxm7b
「我知道他被通緝！」在她準備關上裡面的木門前，我急著大喊。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRddrnOLuxw
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FpgMMYYVZ
婦人停下動作，又把木門拉開了些。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriJiwoice4
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoyyTxS1i3
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面，可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKmJ6E9OJF
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z78kCyXtu
「妳是他女朋友？」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31PjnQB88w
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXEHKNtHdP
「不是，我不是，我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSD1BbesYC
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOgZooSgsQ
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsW2DhscuS0
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2llk0fLhB
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqiO3NAoNG
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著，語氣平淡得不可思議。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUBynTqQQn
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX7wGga2Jk
我一時語塞，沒能回話。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYR3UxdSAz
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdV2z7Gxvv
「讓妳跑一趟，歹勢，英傑不在這裡，我也不知道他在哪裡。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZwyfgEhnN
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Wc86gmZIc
「那個…那，我可以留下我的手機，如果他有跟你們聯絡，請他跟我聯絡好嗎？」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3iExag1Cj
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmxcgXoxb9
婦人一臉不耐煩，我很尷尬，但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門，交到婦人手裡。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZZKUsAYdv
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LmrNUZqjO
「小姐貴姓？」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyl09Tym6X
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4UperCwDc
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX9wwoeXQS
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiPPkXH2dY
「………」婦人突然噤了聲，透過鐵門盯著我。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LdXLtHY1m
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTGzoP0ENd
「糟。」我心想。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYduVjexiO
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYuY9lP5mU
她隨即關上木門。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvQgtws33M
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPbOdNHTEL
「她知道我是誰了。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGip1G7oIAF
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUU7B754x4j
我當下便明白，不管英傑有沒有回到這裡，我都無法得知了。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDTcKHyayJ
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyikTUI2S9
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWO63mmL9v
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFV6vqsvGf
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdJ8sV0W7J
我不敢換手機號碼，睡覺時也不關機，就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhk4fyEQ1h
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyJRySXJe9
就這樣升上了高中二年級，476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZZjpLNBdG
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hTInyeCvo
迎來了人生的轉折。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ080MRwvjv6
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WGsuX3tLS
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNHhreTagb
父母親早在我國小時就已離異，但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開，便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大，幾乎是要什麼有什麼，生性霸道且極端任性，父親一生風流，基於愧疚或父愛，總寵著我，比起成天碎碎念的母親，我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCwQwi44Sz
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1AcvgTwqh
在高二那一年，父親生意失利，經營的公司惡性倒閉，再加上「賭」及「面子」，父親找上了地下錢莊。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUCbB1CsCG
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbPskZ3R1P
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWp4t9AjTPn
當我放學回家，看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼，我還沒能反應過來。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdmpt6nQr5
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzY2KEzghZ
「都已經離婚了，為什麼還這樣拖累我！」
母親氣得哭了。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgosbUbAgGI
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrEoaz9uW5
某天晚上，母親進來房間，告訴我，房子要賣掉了。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8HJTHzvZU
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFlrGwZeQd
他們離婚後，所買的房子仍是共有財產，父親要把房子賣掉，才能償還債務。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB48Xe6LSXM
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YHkjqH874
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重，跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家，就因為你，所以我的家就要這樣沒了！」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjzHSAMeCw
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAQtAKgihX
「那妳要我死是不是！」爸爸第一次吼我。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5KXRYqvPD
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudhiJB0kkm
「我沒錢，地下錢莊說要砍我手腳，我讓他砍是不是！」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFn1Ja2at79
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHpvTTfNmw
我嚇到了，沒能反駁。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZJXFUkFgM
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqG1SjzHb5L
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友，那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的，所以他要搬出去，妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡，不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxr1tUfFIL
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡza409XAN70
我沒說話，看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親，便逕自走回房間。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNxDHQcO1m
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jd5Jz3GaB
回到房間，想起國小五年級那天，母親到安親班接我和弟弟，把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了，妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權，弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳，妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開，所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔！」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMdh32z4Yx
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgwLbhf61k
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBJFjxoXsl
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8ohE5TPUq
我不能接受的，其實是家的破碎。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3spERJlcIo
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XgewuY4u4
因為一直都住在一起，所以沒有分離的感覺。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpyvbnY0pE
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhGD1l3Uvi
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子，他弟弟出生後，就被虐待又被冷落，所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後，完全沒有再過問他們的生活，也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrT7sc28Vw
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH4AgAw21o
「妳不要管我，反正我的監護權又不是妳！」
「是妳自己不要我的！」
某次和母親吵架，我說了這樣的話，害母親哭了整晚。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsbKn62bn3
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxLILdjWTp
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB4aqUyoiJ
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMUTcKfpGB
「小姐貴姓？」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神，帶了驚訝及恨意。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdirOHn0K9b
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmd5X5Pdsda
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運，其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳，妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字，看起來多麼傷心。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoaZBa6Zrg
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtjmpRm7Ky
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Lj3B4zoVJ
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTduamb22KA
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSX9fm6PZyq
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSPyYTOAQZ
媽媽睡了之後，我走到客廳，父親盯著電視，卻兩眼無神。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrun65TDPk
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kIxXemckR
「爸爸。」我喊他。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlauAlWuAQY
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKROj7t6Sd8
父親抬頭看我。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3IZnnBASd
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5wah6YrXe
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡？」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJYuC14bCY
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDY47bEJQC
「我不知道。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtqjOdXqdR
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPZQeDA0JH
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewnwkDugHc
「我和你一起搬走。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSZ4CL3UPk
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKaTySBWuK
我說出這句話的時候，爸爸一臉驚訝。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgrNWNpjxf
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3gWXNfm6q
「真的嗎？」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fbzZTd2Og
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuRGTtBgNE
「嗯。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzP5efaz1S
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPACCr6OdH
「…好啊。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAoOYAItPB
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8CXboDc29
「那我去睡了，爸爸晚安。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVG2JSULAJ
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUeRXFzLGn
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMAWdzWFNl
那時，我只想著，父親一旦離開了，我可能再也見不到他。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVP1WnEL7vF
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oTveCzcpU
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親，他仍是我的父親，從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TxZYnb1H4
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJZeSJ1BEJ
隔天，我便自己出門找房子。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyl8hEysgT
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9iwjaGOXX
母親雖然擔心又不捨，但沒能阻止我的任性與固執，就還是陪著我找房子。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5M2EkFPSc
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBrG96nmpj
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處，因為我當時尚未成年，還是請父親來和房東簽合約，之後，我自己忙搬家，請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙，把所有的家具都搬到新住處。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUTeF3BhHV
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkRJaGWc2E
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4wfadrk9k
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非，我們搬家後沒多久，又有新的債主找上門。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ujz1UbCYv
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttKyjSCASB
那天，黑兔子（忘記她的人請往前看系列文）趁著假日到家裡玩，我們在房間聊天，父親在客廳看電視。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDrpWc0Hri
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRrqcWqwUl
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候，有人按電鈴。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXgAkO6qTD
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFKB15ttvA
按了好幾聲，父親卻不去應門。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMksT9A9xNU
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4bbcBUpNK
我走到客廳，看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面，示意我不要出聲。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiVkifR3kD
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0JE7agl04
對方按了幾下電鈴，便開始撞門，接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnN0RFWUMl
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh5lVw5eeC
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到，悄聲問我怎麼回事，我覺得很丟臉，但還是告訴她，門外的是父親的債主，我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧，才會待在門外不走。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRo0sNsve5
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkvHj1APzC
直到傍晚，我才戰戰兢兢的開門，送黑兔子到公車站搭車。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSb6MTFkIf
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyMYFQmEr4
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeq9PRHgu5
那年發生的事情非常地多，我喜歡上了一個學長，但他卻用各種不同的方式，在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkm915wHg0
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCO5APCKslr
但那是另一個故事了。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxgZ4BR4MM
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6nKYccwQi
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmEzS0b74w
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6njU5A8Ro
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2veT80BpzZ
我就讀的學校是私立職校，學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢，付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShOhWgZ5uQ
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzedNivGkS
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口，像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmmzdkFFCb
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ27ON29co
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯，但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心，又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6p7HHceNH
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRTtAuI1o3
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJhmccSETh
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡，我很常想起英傑。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirzsViXqyo
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNXpwAgLnD
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢？476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcFELCsEeR
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6vYfpdFRx
難道逃出台灣了嗎？476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSZ1QZcAJl
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz2Qo5xeRK
難道…真的死了嗎？476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEIkh4RQq3
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH26sQSLls
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6i0OxGo0m2
一天晚上，我帶著傷痕回家，在家門前，我把運動外套拉起，確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門，想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXzKTOLMDT
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaecZIy8Nkd
但父親不在家。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKRO20wBCy
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxeSzrsTlm
撥了父親的電話，聽見那邊的麻將聲。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYyI4tBhH8
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CMCN6bIB7
我對父親大吼，卻被掛電話。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaBTBfFXuP
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkA6sK2oSQA
那一刻，我想著自己所做的一切。476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0ybElHXjD
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1poYhBFoM
「都是自己選的。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5W804Ca0XO
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNS3ny19Kj7
「沒人逼妳，都是妳自己選的。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScNNSnQDUy
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VeCUVKcNG
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p3u9WAmry
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2og7PV4lD6
「乾脆，去死好了。」476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dVUdhvj0G
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7CW3zLOwC
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjk25o5KQe
476Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq93sZNygh
待續。
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然後按「加至主畫面」